The World That Never Will Be Chapter 12
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
1/4/2019
CHAPTER 12
Footsteps. Circling, prowling, the game of intimidation. The nerves in Cloud's arm forgot he had a hand; his grip on his sword failed him.
"If you cannot control your darkness, then I will control it for you."
Shadows... inside...
Resisting his motion. Pinning him to the naked sky...
Self strung up with nothingness, on crude display.
...so Sephiroth could inspect his prize. They weren't exactly anywhere. Endless, featureless black; a mind's eye closed, shut tight, pleading against the promised torment.
"For almost killing her... I'll punish you. I'll drag it out. And you know you cannot escape me."
No, he probably couldn't. Hope at this stage was a lie. But Cloud struggled anyway; grabbed for any spite he could reach. "Maybe... then, she'll see what you are and can get away..."
"You won't ruin this for me, Cloud." The helpless truth, bruised with ugly, vicarious bliss; years since Gaea, and Sephiroth still liked to gloat. "It will all be in your head. Our reality, alone."
Reunion sang in his blood, uncomfortably invasive, demanding.
"Don't worry about Master Aqua. I want you to worry about yourself. Those you care for. Think of what I can do, what I have done."
Sephiroth's ghostly caress burned. "The scars I gave you never fully healed, did they?" A certain, breathless fascination, "Here, and here," the branding touch lingered, unraveling wounds Cloud didn't remember, "And in your heart..."
"Your fear of the past, your fear of failure. Your weakness killed them all."
No, you did! ...but Cloud's accusation had no voice. I would've stopped you!
...they had, hadn't they...? in the crater?
"Maybe." The tiniest nod of respect. "But you can't now."
At least... the heartless had come. Right after Meteor hit. Or everyone would be...
Agony reigned, pure and clean! Oh. Sephiroth was siphoning off Cloud's darkness to heal himself. But the stolen energy wasn't doing much! Ha! Sephiroth's wing was still ruined!
It was the last bitter satisfaction he was allowed.
"Wake to the nightmare."
It was weird, how Sephiroth came to her side without checking on his enemy. Surely, his arrogance would catch up to him someday?
"You truly are beautiful."
Aqua blinked. Adrenaline was fading; her vision was kinda blurry.
"...You pushed yourself too hard." Sephiroth's concern was a fond scolding, like she hadn't had since she was a kid. She didn't mind; it was comforting. Funny even, to be fussed over.
Near to passing out, Aqua said, "I'm fine..."
"You're a mess. Your outfit's all bloody."
She looked at her sleeves. He was right. "So are you."
Sephiroth had knelt down to help her. Blood soaked its way into his hair, promising to crown him in red.
"Curaga? On yourself."
"Can't. Gonna be a while." Too tired.
"The items you brought with you?"
"Dust."
Sephiroth's torn, almost severed wing was moving strangely. Twitching. Beyond focus, insubstantial. Aqua stared as it cracked itself into a less wilted position.
He winced. "Hmm. Not good enough. Of course." And laughed and shook his head. "I thought I'd be nursing you back to health after the darkness, Master Aqua. But it seems we'll recover together."
His confidence was nice. His bare chest was nice.
Behind him, Cloud began to stir! Aqua inhaled sharply to give warning... Ouch.
"Relax. He can't hurt you now."
Huh?
"Let me see your wound."
It's not like she could stop him. "I'm sorry... I should be able to cure it myself but..." A silly, useless apology! She didn't have to be ashamed! She'd fought so hard...
"I can't either. Not yet." His disgust wasn't meant for her. He was embarrassed, too? "Until then, we'll tie this blue cloth higher, as a bandage."
"Go ahead." Aqua held still. So tired. She'd been reckless with the injury. But what else could she have done? Lie down and die after finally escaping the darkness? Never. Sephiroth wrapped her sash tight; the pressure was just where it needed to be. She bit her lip, cried out anyway and decided she didn't care.
His examining gaze was efficient, practiced. "Your thigh as well. No, actually, that one isn't as deep. Good."
"What about you?"
He was surprised at her question. "I'll live. Cloud will bring us supplies."
Sephiroth stood up. Kindness vanished. "On your feet, Cloud."
Cloud rose at the same time Sephiroth did. He didn't react to Sephiroth's approach, or protest when Sephiroth tilted his chin up. Sephiroth turned Cloud this way and that, appraising frightened eyes.
"We'll take good care of her."
Cloud's silent fear filled Aqua with dread. Especially when it was gone, and his face went blank.
There was a salute. The motion was completely smooth, natural, normal, which made it worse.
It was wrong! She should object! ...but Sephiroth's actions were probably saving her life. Guilt was for later, for survivors. ...she was so selfish...
Aqua watched Cloud saunter off towards the bright silhouette of a city in the distance.
"Radiant Garden isn't far."
Radiant Garden. She froze, numb inside, and said nothing. The memories would overwhelm her.
"He'll be back before nightfall. We'll make camp here."
She felt herself frown.
Sephiroth apologized for the wrong thing, "It would be unwise to enter the town as we are. I'm sorry I don't have a safer place to take you. The heartless have likely colonized my realm, such as it was, and even if they haven't, we shouldn't risk another trip through the darkness so soon."
"I understand," Aqua said, not wanting to be thought ungrateful.
He'd rarely entertained company, instead choosing to wander, freed from all need. The few ...honored guests... he did host... their comfort was not important. Why waste resources defending a stronghold with little use? A place his enemies could attack and claim as a victory?
...it had never been embarrassing before.
I have no grand godly palace to show you.
Sephiroth realized that even if he had, it wouldn't be good enough for her. After what she'd done for him today... she deserved the highest hospitality...
What does your fairy-tale castle look like, Master Aqua?
Something imposingly elegant, or whimsical, or austere? Of mysterious or flaunted ownership? Are there many forbidden secrets? ...what would you do for leisure? Embroider the stars? You would have infinite choices. Who waits upon us? The souls of the damned?
Whom shall I make jealous? Maleficent or Cinderella?
Sephiroth took a mental step back. He wanted to protect her, to reward her. But imagining an opulent place for her to stay? With a somewhat irrational leap of wishful thinking, that could be mistaken for a romantic advance. He didn't want it to look that way.
...Oh, how Zack would've teased him!
Enough.
There were more practical matters to consider.
"What are you doing?" Aqua asked.
"An illusion, to repel the curious." He willed all senses deceived; made the campsite appear as just another cluster of boulders. They did not need an ambush from the heartless. Or Cloud's friends, or Organization XIII, or any of his past connections. "The noise of the battle, and its magical pyrotechnics, will not have gone unnoticed."
She murmured approval.
"Stay awake, Master Aqua." Sephiroth resolved to do the same.
They leaned into each other for support.
Aqua's mouth was dry, but talking would be a good distraction.
"We got out of the darkness." She couldn't quite believe it.
"Yes."
"We did it. We got out of the darkness. We beat your enemy."
"We did," Sephiroth replied.
"We got out of the darkness..."
Suddenly, she was exhausted, and hungry, and so so so thirsty, and everything was too bright, she was dizzy, and her heart was racing, her pulse rediscovering seconds and then minutes. The sun blazed relentlessly, framed by, trapped by, a harsh and hostile sky. Her invisible skin began to peel, and she wanted to hide, to hide, to hide...
This wasn't like her at all...!
"Sshhh. It's going to be alright."
She gasped for air; it was actual air, not a simulacrum of it...
If only he would put his wing between her and the sun...!
The baffling tide of panic ebbed resentful, and sought a more habitual course, steered by guilt. "I'm sorry. Because of me, you..."
"No."
"But, your wing..."
"I will heal. The wing is... symbolic; Cloud was making a statement." Sephiroth... smiled? "Fortunately, I'm much better at that than he is."
But...
"Stop it. There are things that aren't your fault, Master Aqua."
Breaths became easier. Her eyes adjusted to register color less terrifyingly vividly. Her stomach growled.
Cloud came back. He untangled the straps of the bulky pack he was carrying, lowered it to the ground without saying a word, and wandered off in a seemingly random direction, like a wind-up doll.
"Stay here. I'll collect our gifts."
Sephiroth called it a gift. It so clearly was not...
Don't focus on that, Aqua.
This was the Realm of Light, the place she was sworn to protect, its love and hope and wonder welcoming. Singing along with her heart, where it had been silent for so long! Silent and mocking in absence...
"Be here now. Let go of the memory of darkness."
Sephiroth handed her an elixir.
"That first. And then we have... bread and cheese, assorted deli meats, water and juice, some grapes, an orange, and, oh, that's adorable. Tifa baked cookies. I'll try one of those. Help yourself to the rest."
Every single morsel was the best thing she'd ever tasted. She was ravenous. She drank all the juice, and nearly laughed for feeling guilty about something as silly as drinking all the juice.
The temperature dropped as the sun set, but not drastically.
The tent she'd helped assemble was cozy. For the first time in a long time, Aqua felt her strength returning rather than being sapped. She could untie her bandage if she wanted.
She should use her ice magic to shower...
...but the sleeping bag was soft.
"Sephiroth?" He was lying on his own bedroll, several feet away.
"Hmm?"
"We did it. We got out of the darkness. We're free."
"So you've said. Repeatedly." He sounded amused, not irritated.
"I think it's going to take a while to sink in. That was reality for so long..."
"And now you have changed it."
She had, hadn't she? She really had.
Night was not the same as Darkness.
And she was an adult. She wasn't afraid of childish things. It was Ven, who'd been scared of the dark, and he'd grown out of it, too.
Xehanort was out there, somewhere...
No. She wouldn't have nightmares.
"Is it safe to sleep? Your enemy... one of us should keep watch."
"It's safe," Sephiroth reassured her. "I'll know if anything goes wrong. Trust me."
There was such a thing as morning. A pale pre-dawn filtered through the fabric of the tent.
Her muscles ached. She stretched.
"Good morning, Master Aqua." Oh. Sephiroth was already awake. "The sun will rise soon."
"I'd like to see that."
"It's a short climb. Come with me."
They sat together atop the plateau.
Soft rays of warmth. Rose, peach, coral; prismed across thin wispy clouds, beautiful contrast over shaded canyons of deep bluish stone. A breeze was picking up as dew dispersed; any rain was scheduled far in the distance.
It was real. Not one of the thousand replicas the darkness had taunted her with.
"You seem to be doing better," he said, quietly.
She was. "I really had forgotten... so much of Light. The little things, moments like this, it's something so worthy of protection."
"It is," Sephiroth agreed, looking at her.
Aqua wondered if it would be okay to kiss him on the cheek. No, she shouldn't.
She did, anyway. "Thank you... for helping me feel something other than despair."