2.19 "The Kiss" episode alternative #4, in which, after getting into her car to go home, Sue realizes Jack . . . well, the chapter title pretty well spells it out.

~0~

When Jack had said that Sue "was good back there," she wasn't sure quite how to react.

When he clarified that he meant in talking about the deposition, she realized she was a little disappointed he hadn't been talking about their kiss.

Kisses.

Deep, heavy kisses.

And then when he did talk about that, only to clarify that it was just for the cover, she was slightly hurt. Did he think she was stupid? She knew why they'd started kissing in there.

When he added that he "would never," and then couldn't even find the right words to finish the sentence . . . well, that hurt a lot.

It wasn't until after she was in her car, preparing to drive home to Lucy and Levi, that she went back over all of it in her mind and realized what hurt most of all. And when she realized it, that's when she started to get angry. The more she thought about it as she drove, the angrier she got.

So when she got to the intersection where a left would take her toward Jack's neighborhood, or straight would take her toward her own apartment, she found she'd put her blinker on . . . and she found she wasn't inclined to change that plan.

She was able to park, not quite directly in front of his apartment, but close enough that she almost felt like it was a sign that she was supposed to be there. She pulled out her BlackBerry and prepared to make a quick call, taking a deep breath and practicing to control her voice so she wouldn't sound as angry as she felt.

The call was answered and the first word popped up on the screen: Hello?

"Hi, Luce. I just wanted to let you know that we're done at the office, but when I was heading home I realized I have something I have to go give to Jack, so I'll be a little longer."

Weren't you just with him?

"Yeah, I just realized I still have something that should've gone with him." Yeah, she did. A piece of her mind! "I just didn't want you to worry, but I'll be home in a little while. Levi doing okay?"

Yeah, he's great, don't worry about us. Feel free to stay at Jack's however long you want!

Sue rolled her eyes at her matchmaker roomie. If only she knew the events of that evening! "Good bye, Lucy!"

With a deep breath and narrowed eyes, she steeled her resolve as she reminded herself what had made her so angry in the first place, and stormed her way up to Jack's apartment.

At her insistent knock, he opened the door, and looked quite surprised to see her. He couldn't have been home more than a few minutes—he'd walked her to her car before heading to his own, after all, although she'd stayed in hers thinking for a while before she started driving—but he had lost his suit jacket and tie, and loosened the top several buttons of his shirt. She tried not to be distracted by that as she focused on what she'd come to say.

"We need to talk. Can I come in?"

"Oh! Uh . . . sure." He stepped aside and gestured for her to enter.

When she did, though, she paced the room, wringing her hands and not saying anything. She also wasn't looking at him and didn't see the couple of times he started to ask her what this was about, if she wanted a drink, if she wanted to sit down, if this was about the—.

Finally, she whirled on him and, stormy grey-blue eyes flashing, burst out with, "You lied to me!"

He blinked. Whatever he'd expected her to say, that clearly was not it. "I—what?"

"You lied to me. And I need to know if you did it on purpose or if it was by extension of lying to yourself too."

He furrowed his brow. "Um, why don't we have a seat?" he suggested, gesturing toward the couch. They both sat, though on opposite ends, not too near each other.

"Um . . . what are you talking about? When did I lie to you?"

"You said it was only a response to a situation!"

He drew in a breath. "I was afraid that's what this was about. Look—"

"No!"

He blinked again, never having seen her so worked up as this.

"No placating, no justifying! I was there, I know what happened, I don't need you to tell me what happened!" She took a deep breath, trying to calm down and at least speak at a reasonable level. "Just tell me this—what would have happened if Janice hadn't come in?"

He looked confused. "Um . . . then we wouldn't have been in that situation?"

"No, to the room! If she hadn't come into the room and she, I don't know, was getting something from her desk and left and never saw us in Hillary Kern's office, what would have happened?"

He hesitated. "I don't know." The expression on his face said this was not a new thought for him, though.

"What do you think?"

"I . . . would like to think I would have heard her leave and let you know that we were in the clear."

"That's what you would like to think? Not what you do think?"

"I . . . don't know."

She let out a huff. "You said it was a response to a situation, but it wasn't! I know it wasn't because I felt you get startled! The situation was that she was coming! You knew she was there, and of course for the cover you had to look surprised, but we were about as close as two people can be while still having clothes on, Jack! I felt your surprise, you couldn't have faked that, not that much! You had forgotten she was even there! So if she hadn't interrupted, what do you think would have happened?"

"I . . . I don't know, Sue!" He stood up now, unable to stay seated, running his hands through his hair, pacing away a moment before turning back so she could see his words. "I mean, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I would've ravished you there in the office while we were on an assignment?"

"If that's the truth!" she replied, standing as well. "It's better than saying you would never kiss me!"

"I didn't say that!"

"Only because you stopped yourself from finishing the sentence!"

"No, I didn't mean—ugh!" He spun around again, running a hand through his hair again and then holding it to the back of his head.

"Then what did you mean, Jack?" she continued at his back. "You never what? You never would have kissed me while on assignment? You never would have broken the no-frat regs? You never would have what?"

He spun back around. "I would never force myself on you!"

"You didn't—!" She blinked, hesitating as she considered this new perspective he'd presented, searched his face for the truth, then softly asked, "Is that what you think happened?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm your training agent. I'm the team lead and the case lead. I would never . . . I would never want to put any woman in a situation of feeling unable to say no to my advances because of a power imbalance. I would never want to make a woman feel put upon. I would never want to abuse any semblance of power I might hold in this job. Not for anyone, and especially not toward you."

Her eyes had gone from nearly tearfully angry to fully and soulfully watery, and the tears threatened to breach the perimeter of her lower lids. "Jack . . . don't you think I know that?" She took a step toward him, then eventually another, still most of the way across the room but slowly, ever so slowly, bridging the distance as the first tear ran down her cheek. "Don't you think I know you wouldn't do that? I would never feel like I couldn't say no to you because you're the kind of man who would always leave a woman a choice. I would never feel like you were abusing your power because you're the kind of leader who takes everyone's thoughts into consideration so much that we all feel more like partners than anything. Because you don't even relish in your power, much less have any inclination of abusing it."

She was in front of him now, and slowly, tentatively, giving him time to back away if he chose, reached to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes, whether at her touch or in shame at his feelings she did not know, but he left them that way. "When you put your arms around my waist, and I put my arms around your neck—" as she said this she slid her hand from his cheek behind his neck, and brought her other arm up to join it, and he automatically slid his arms around her waist in return—"and we touched our lips together gently—that was a response to a situation. That was Jack Buchanan and Sue Miller getting an added layer to their cover story. But then it changed. Didn't you feel when it changed?"

He nodded ever so slightly, eyes still closed. "I felt when I broke. I felt when I lost control and . . . I was just so desperate for you, I never even gave you a choice. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to do that to you."

She shook her head. "Then you missed it."

"Missed what?"

"You didn't lose control, Jack. We changed from Jack Buchanan and Sue Miller, back into Jack Hudson and Sue Thomas. You weren't so desperate, we were desperately seeking each other." She slid one hand back to his cheek. "Jack, open your eyes. Please. Look at me."

He did. And as their eyes read each other, he saw the truth of what she was saying.

"Jack, didn't you know I want you just as much? That if Janice hadn't come in, I wouldn't have wanted to stop you?"

"You wouldn't?"

"I didn't." She gave a rueful shrug. "I was kind of mad that she did come in."

He smiled a little at that. "Me too."

They stood there another few moments, holding one another, gazing at one another, before she said, "Well . . . now that we know all this . . . what do we do about it?"

"Well," he said slowly, almost teasingly, "we could go for another two years of pretending we aren't insanely attracted to each other."

She scrunched her face up as though thinking about it, then shook her head. "Nah."

"Or we could chalk it up to a one-time experience and forget about it."

"Oh, no, that kiss is not an experience I'll ever forget," she responded with a wink.

"Orrrrrr . . . we could . . . pick up where we left off . . . here . . . where there's nobody to interrupt . . . ."

She smiled. "Mmmmm, I think that's the best idea yet."

Just as they were starting to lean in toward each other, she pulled back and said, "Wait, let me make sure we really won't be interrupted."

She grabbed her BlackBerry, sent a quick message, turned the device off entirely, and then returned to Jack's arms. "Now, where were we?"

~0~

Several blocks away, Lucy heard a rare text come through on her cell phone, and was instantly concerned. Everyone with her cell number knew not to text unless absolutely necessary, because her very basic plan didn't include any text or data coverage. When she read this text, though, she squealed in delight, and didn't mind any added charges for her phone bill if this really meant what she thought it meant.

"Still at Jack's. Don't wait up. Tell Levi don't worry, we're fine. See you both in the morning. Night."