2.19 "The Kiss" episode alternative #5/episode tag, in which when Jack and Sue turn back to one another at alternate times, they actually manage to connect and have a deeper conversation.
~0~
Jack lifted his hand as he started to say Sue's name, but realized she wouldn't hear him anyway. He nearly asked Levi to get her, then nearly stepped forward to tap her shoulder himself, but the words "no inter-unit relationships" invaded his mind yet again. For what must have been the 5 billionth time in the past few days, he thought back to their undercover kiss and smiled slightly, shaking his head as though to physically remind himself that they couldn't do that again . . . at least, not without a cover story providing them an excuse!
He was still smiling to himself as he turned and walked away. Somehow, he suspected he would be lobbying for any chance to go undercover together. Maybe they could even be undercover-married again! Never a dull moment, indeed.
~0~
Sue had wanted to say something to Jack, but found herself bidding him goodnight instead. She was fingering her keys, preparing to open the front door of her building rather slower than she usually did, and in that time managed to muster the courage she needed to turn back to him.
"Ja–"
He was already walking away. She managed to pull an expression halfway between a smile and a frown, considering sending Levi after him. Instead, she turned back and renewed her concentration on fitting her keys into the lock.
Just before unlocking it she glanced back at his retreating form one more time . . . only he wasn't retreating. He was standing still, turned back toward her, watching her with a distant expression. As soon as he realized she'd seen him, he looked a bit embarrassed, chagrined even, and gave a goofy little wave, with that adorable little cockeyed smile back on his face. Sue smiled, dropped her keys back into her purse, and started toward him before he could resume his departure.
~0~
Jack had made it several paces away when he found himself pausing and turning once more, just observing Sue, marveling that she could even make mundane things like unlocking a door look graceful and elegant. How did she do it? Every move, every motion, every breath she took was radiant. The way she turned, practically gliding, to look back at him and—she was looking back at him! Crap! He wanted to turn and run with a fervor the worst criminal never inspired in him, but he figured that would make things even worse, so he tried to put on a charming smile as he waved.
He intended to follow this with a hasty retreat, but before he could, she'd put her keys away again and started walking toward him. As she walked, she flipped her hands palm-up and shook them horizontally, tapping her index fingers and thumbs a couple times. What are you doing?
He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again, then repeated the process a couple times. To both his delight and embarrassment, Sue responded with her patented chiming laughter. Being laughed at was worth it if it was that laugh, and he knew she never really laughed at him anyway. Just with him.
~0~
Sue laughed as she realized Jack was struggling to find words to respond to her inquiry. He'd started moving forward too and they soon stood face to face once again. She was so lost in his eyes that she almost missed when he started to speak, but she caught it in time to get the gist of the sentence.
"—just found myself, um, wondering . . . if . . . ."
Okay, the gist of the beginning of a sentence he didn't seem to know how to finish. She was pretty sure she knew where he was going with it though.
"If we . . . weren't in the same unit?" she supplied. Surely his next words would be, "do you think we would be dating?" or something to that effect.
But once again, Jack Hudson managed to surprise her. "No, I mean even if—" He cut himself off again, then glanced around, seemingly just realizing they were standing directly in the middle of the sidewalk. Guiding Sue over to the nearest wall, he picked up with, "—well, even though we do—uh, do work together, that is—I just, I think I didn't say something right, back . . . a few days ago . . . after . . . you know, the . . . office . . . improv . . . ." He trailed off lamely, and Sue had to stifle another laugh.
"When we kissed in the line of duty?" she asked cheekily. She could feel her face heating up a bit and struggled to at least not let her embarrassment show in her expression, but it was hard to care that she was blushing because he was red too and he was just so adorable when he blushed, Adam's apple shifting with the movement of him clearing his throat as he so often did when embarrassed.
~0~
"Ah, yeah." Jack cleared his throat again while trying to will the blood to drain back to a reasonable amount in his face. This was not going well. But he was in it now and he really needed to get this out. "Look, when we were walking to our cars that day, I kind of . . . misspoke. Badly. I said I would never, and . . . I wasn't really clear about what I would never."
Sue's brows furrowed, a look of concern on her face. "Oh . . . no, Jack, you don't, uh, you don't have to explain anything. It's . . . I know it was all for the cover and—"
"No! I—Sue, that's what I wanted to explain. It wasn't, not for me. I mean, it was . . . sort of. I just—" He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. "I'm not saying this any better this time," he added, then leaned hard against the wall, somehow finding that standing was too much effort when combined with this conversation. He barely noticed that Sue followed suit, albeit of course more calmly and gracefully, as was her wont.
"Well . . . how about you just say exactly what you mean without trying to temper it, and we'll go from there?"
He smiled. "Ever practical. That's one of the things I lo—like about you." From the smirk on her face, he suspected he hadn't covered that near-slip of the word love quite fast enough for her ever-watchful eyes not to notice. He took a deep breath, clearing his mind and focusing on what he really wanted to communicate. "I didn't mean . . . that I would never kiss you. I would—have wanted to—so many times. I only meant I would never take advantage of you. But even that wasn't true, because I did, that's just what I'd done and I was trying to justify it to you, and to myself really. And . . . I'm sorry for that. For both of those things."
As he'd been speaking, the ripples of concern on her face melted into something far more pleasant, but then he kept speaking and the furrowed brows returned, although this time appearing in confusion. "You're sorry? Sorry for what? What are you talking about? You didn't take advantage of me. I mean, we did what we had to so we wouldn't get caught investiga—"
"Sue, there were a million other ways we could have explained our presence there. I mean, the deposition alone would have explained it. We could have been talking about it and discussing whether there was something else we should have put with it or something. We could have been searching through it trying to find out whether we'd forgotten something. I mean, most of the other possibilities that came to mind involved berating you again, and while it's fun teasing sometimes, I just . . . didn't want to do that again. And you were so cute in that sweater and your hair looked so nice the way you had it up, though of course it always looks nice, and just . . . kissing you just seemed like the best option."
She nodded, though she could feel herself blushing again at his sweet words. "I agree."
"No, I don't mean the best option for the cover. I mean my best option, personally. I wanted to kiss you."
"Me too."
"I—what?"
"Jack . . . you're not the only one who wanted to so many times. Your chiseled chin, your warm eyes, those adorable cheekbones, those lips I have to spend so much time watching while reminding myself not to just lean toward them every time . . . trust me, you weren't the only one who went with it for personal reasons."
"Y—adorable? You think I'm adorable?"
"You called me cute," she challenged, one eyebrow arched.
"Well, yeah, but that's indisputable," he said flippantly.
She laughed, but then grew serious again as she earnestly insisted, "Jack, you didn't do anything wrong. If anyone did, I did, because . . . I've spent two years reminding myself of all the reasons members of the same unit aren't allowed to date, and then one undercover kiss and suddenly holding back from you is harder than ever."
"I know that exact feeling." He quirked the corner of his mouth in dismay. "The question is . . . what do we want to do about it?"
"I know what I don't want. I don't want to leave the unit. And I don't want you to either."
"Me either."
"But," she continued slowly, visibly nervous but not hesitating as she moved a bit closer to him. He watched in disbelief as she reached a hand up and ran her fingers along the edge of his lapel. " . . . what I do want . . . ."
"Yes?" He leaned forward eagerly, seeking her words. His heart was racing and suddenly he couldn't decide where to look, flicking his eyes from her hand to her lips to her own eyes, back down to her lips, her hand, and up to her eyes again, but then something in them held him there . . . until she leaned too far forward for their eyes to remain in focus, and then her lips were on his.
It was quick, nothing like the—to be honest, despite what they'd told the others—making out they'd done in the law office. But it was sweet and earnest and when she pulled back, she looked into his eyes nervously, teeth capturing the edge of her lower lip in uncertainty.
He looked back, processing his surprise for a moment, before he moved back in and rescued her gnawed-on lip, kissing away any uncertainty that may have remained. This one quickly turned into something far more similar to the kiss they'd shared at Callahan and Merced. He pulled her even closer against him, explored her mouth, rubbed one hand up and down her arm while the other encircled her back, felt her play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, barely registered (but mentally thanked God she couldn't hear it) when someone walking past muttered, "Get a room." Despite the opinion of the passer-by, he might very well have been content to stay there forever had Levi not decided the two humans had been pressed together for long enough and began nosing his way between them.
Sue pulled back from her second (third? second tonight anyway, second without having a cover to excuse it away with) kiss with Jack, breathing hard and laughing along with him at Levi's antics. "Looks like our chaperone doesn't approve," she joked.
He didn't laugh, though not because he didn't think it was funny. He was simply too busy gazing at her in apparent awe for several moments. Finally, he started to speak and she read on his well-kissed lips, "Sue, do you want to come back to my place for a bit?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, if you think our chaperone didn't like this—"
He visibly started, realizing what it had sounded like he'd been asking. "No, I didn't mean—! I only meant, I think we have a lot to talk about and, well, you live with Lucy and I live alone so mine seemed more reasonable. Maybe we could order some takeout and discuss . . . where we go from here?" He shrugged a little to emphasize his uncertainty.
She smiled. "I didn't really think you were asking for more than that. Well . . . not much more. A little more of . . . recent activities . . . wouldn't be bad." She wiggled her eyebrows at him and he laughed again.
"Oh, well, I suppose, if you insist," he teased back with a wink.
"Well . . . let's go."
In response, he slid his hand down her arm and clasped her hand, interlacing their fingers. She gave him one of her million-kilowatt smiles and they headed down the sidewalk in the direction of his building.
~0~
Levi walked alongside his favorite person and someone he knew was one of her favorite people, happy to find they were going for another walk so soon, but a little confused. Sue didn't often touch other people for as long at a time as she'd been touching Jack, and she hardly ever touched other people's faces with her face. He looked around her to where the two humans had their hands connected. She rarely did that either. When Nikita and David were around they would sometimes touch for longer at a time, but . . . something was different this time. He wasn't sure yet what it was, or if it was a good or bad thing. The very few times Sue had interacted with other humans like this, it eventually stopped and then Sue was very sad for a while. One thing was for certain: he would be watching Jack and Sue to figure out exactly what this change in their interactions meant. He liked Jack, but the man had better not make Sue sad.