The World That Never Will Be Chapter 14
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
2/12/2019
CHAPTER 14
Aqua woke promptly, as was her habit; she'd been proud of her discipline. Another sunrise beckoned, blessed with optimism.
Sephiroth's bedroll was empty.
A little reluctantly, she pushed heavy leather off herself and got up. The warm material held his scent... the freshness of the air, the unending strength of a wild stormy sea or a fiery sun. No wonder she'd dreamed about him.
Aqua lifted the coat, draped it over her right shoulder ...sort of like his wing... and guiltily debated whether to give it back or not.
She didn't have to go far to find him. Sephiroth's location was hardly a mystery; he never bothered to hide his dark aura. She'd been afraid, before she'd learned his was the darkness that chased the rest away. It seemed like a long time ago.
He was there, seated in the same place as the previous day. Back turned, black feathers spread in anticipation of heaven's glory. How his hair would shine when the new sunlight caught it! Silvery portent of radiance. Longer than his exposed torso, pooled on the stone behind him, somehow not tangling.
He hadn't been so distracting yesterday! Nothing about him had changed, but she was definitely noticing it more...
Sephiroth tilted his head at her approach; the motion rippled that fantastic platinum cascade, a momentary echo of the muscles underneath...
Aqua said the first thing that came to mind that was even remotely appropriate, "Did you even sleep?"
Sephiroth replied, "Yes? I just woke up earlier than you." He didn't turn around; she had to imagine his puzzled expression. "You've been through a lot, Master Aqua. For me sleep is an indulgence, for you a necessity."
She supposed that was true. "So, what were you thinking about?" Aqua sat down next to him and politely tried to watch the brightening horizon instead of sneaking glimpses of his beautiful face. He had very long eyelashes.
"Revenge."
"For what?"
"For you. For what Xehanort did to you. Because you remind me of myself."
Oh. Memories of sobering helplessness, still too near, assaulted her dreamlike haze, clawing open her fear. "If he tries again..."
"I will stop him again."
"But what if he's too strong..."
"I am stronger. And we'll both be fighting him. His cause is hopeless."
Aqua bit her lip, needing to believe him. "How powerful are you, if you call yourself a god?"
"Very."
She forced a laugh, "I thought you'd want to brag about it."
"I don't need to." Sephiroth's absolute surety made her shiver.
"I wish I was as confident as you," Aqua admitted. "Sometimes I feel like my bravery was a show. For Terra, and Ven, and Master Eraqus, and everyone I met on my journeys..."
"I doubt it was only that. Don't be so hard on yourself."
She leaned sideways into his encouragement. He put his hand on her shoulder, on the coat, and drew her closer, under his wing.
The campsite was as they'd left it. Not a trace of heartless activity or other disturbance.
Aqua discerned a less comforting sameness. The thunderhead of looming argument. On the edge of awareness, uneasy. The way Cloud hovered around... not literally but... Like Xehanort's guardian.
Sephiroth's gaze was fixed on her, too solemn for a smile but promising a future of thousands. "Thank you. For fighting by my side."
The warmth of his gratitude was so intense she could soar for ages, kiss the summer sun and dance.
Oh no! If only she knew a more delicate way to address this! He was so happy with her! She'd be letting him down... no, that wasn't right...
...she wasn't going to start by saying she was sorry! What Sephiroth did was wrong. She was right to disagree.
I can't be silent.
"I'm not sure I should have helped you," Aqua said, and steeled herself.
"Why?" Sephiroth blinked, for the first time revealing true surprise.
"There are some things that are just wrong. Things no one should do to anyone else. We can justify anything to ourselves, but that doesn't make it right..."
He didn't respond, so she stumbled on, "I want to discuss it. What to do with Cloud."
"I thought we already did?"
"I have more to say."
Sephiroth tried to convince himself it was not betrayal. Master Aqua had legitimate concerns sprung from fears he should put to rest.
But what he'd said to her, and the way he'd said it, he hadn't given to another. Never had he awarded such heartfelt regard to any SOLDIER. They were not frivolous words.
And she threw his high praise, the special moment of his acknowledgment, away for Cloud!
Careless of the insult, she took his kindness for granted!
...she didn't know any better! ...and that was by his design...
Disrespect. Ungratefulness. How far should he forgive?
...Zack was different.
How much innocence, ignorance, could he allow?
It made him sick to think he had encouraged it.
"Master Aqua." Sephiroth exalted his tone to command her full attention.
"Yes." She did not know to add 'sir'.
"If you mention Cloud again, I will kill you. If you place his well-being above ours, you are a traitor. Do you understand?"
"...yes."
"Good. Dismissed."
He molded her dazed terror into exhaustion and sent her back to bed. She fell asleep on his orders and he withdrew his influence. Her dreams could be her own.