A/N: Now for something sweet! As always, I hope you enjoy how impossibly sugary these boys are XD
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much but I couldn't stop the entire way home. I tried to, but feeling the weight in my pocket of my phone served as a constant reminder of the new number stored inside it.
I don't remember the last time I felt this invigorated but I sure as hell feel young again tonight. And as much as it makes zero sense, I know it all to be Yugi's doing.
Yugi… that smile and his strange optimism… he's something else.
But my happy mood did not last. As I slipped my key into my front door I paused in fear and alarm when the door pushed open. It wasn't locked and it was barely closed.
My first thought is that I didn't lock it and Ankha escaped - but then a moment later I fear that someone broke in and maybe she's hurt. What could they have stolen? Is anything broken?
I let myself in and cautiously scan the entire room, too afraid to call for my cat in case I alert any trespassers.
But then I see in my living room, crouched on the ground and petting a more than affectionate kitty - is my dear older brother.
Akefia. My older brother of 4 years, is vastly different to me. We share the same skin, but everything else - you wouldn't know.
Where my hair is a raven black mop and tipped with crimson and framed with honey blonde bangs, his is a messy mop of sandy blonde cut in uneven locks and as wild as a lions mane. Where his strong jaw was clean shaven without a single prickle upon his skin, mine grew thick, healthy curls to hide my slender frame. Where my eyes are that of a deep ruby red, his were a stoney violet as cold and wise as the ruins of our homeland. Where my body is slim but toned, his is built for survival and speed. He's a fighter and a rebel, where I am calm and collected.
He looks over his shoulder at me when Ankha notices my presence and trounces over, tail in the air and floofed up with excitement. He smiles at me but an unannounced visit doesn't normally mean he just wants to pet my cat.
"Brother!"
"Akefia." I sigh, tossing my keys aside. They miss the little bowl but I'm too tired already to care and simply slip off my shoes.
"You're out late. How's my little brother been?" He claps me on the back as he pulls me into a friendly hug, but I know too well now his friendly and good nature is purely to warm me up. He wants something and I can only guess at what it is.
"I've been better, honestly. What can I do for you? Cup of tea, water?" I ask, pushing him off me so I can busy myself in my little kitchen. I don't want anything in particular, but tea might actually be nice.
"Nah, thanks mate. Where's Tea? She didn't go out with you?" He asks me and it makes me freeze and lock up. He wouldn't know - he couldn't know - so I must forgive him for asking. But if he only knew why she left me - I don't know.
"She's not here. It's just me and Ankha now." I answer quietly, turning my back to him to focus on choosing which tea I want. I want something stronger, but booze is too expensive and I downed my last bottle the other day.
"Oh, is everything okay?" He asks. I know he never cared for her, but there is genuine concern or curiosity in his voice. As fucked up as his life is, he does care for me in some way. I know that.
"It'll be fine. What brings you here at this hour?" I ask, quick to change the topic. I really don't want to go through my failed love life with him. Not right now.
"I just wanted to pop in and see my little brother."
"Uhuh." I raise a brow and he grins. He knows I'm not amused and he knows he's been caught out. So he claps his hand and leans on the counter, a sheepish and not too shy smirk pulling at his lips.
"I know I owe you a lot and I am so close to paying you back -"
"Here we go." I roll my eyes and turn to my drink. The kettle isn't ready yet and I wish it was. I've got nothing to do but wait for it to boil.
"I just need a $50. To last the end of the week. I have some money coming in on Friday but I don't have enough to last me until then, and on Friday I can pay you back."
"You said that the last several times, Kefi." I glance over my shoulder at him but I turn away from the pleading look in those surprisingly large eyes.
"I know, I know. I owe you so much, but I just need a small amount and I can't borrow from anyone else-"
"I don't have $50 to spare, brother." I raise my shoulders at him and thank the gods the kettle clicks off.
"You went out tonight -"
"I had some water at a bar. I couldn't spend a thing anyway. Besides - I've been laid off for two weeks." He doesn't need to now it's paid leave, but if it gets him off my back.
"Laid off? What for?" He asks. He sounds genuinely surprised, which is fair - hopefully this means he'll relent and seek his fix else where.
I finish making my drink and slowly turn to him with a drawn out and tired sigh. I'm only half putting on a show at the moment. My life is anything but happy right now, but normally I set myself aside to tend to his needs. Not tonight though. Not entirely. I need him to see that my life isn't as glamorous as he seems to think.
"Stress. Apparently I've been falling behind and my boss has noticed and asked me to take some time off to tend to myself."
"What's stressing you?"
What indeed…
"Well Tea leaving for one…" I hope that's enough to get him to stop digging.
"So she actually left? What for?"
I should have known better.
I shrug and walk around him over to the couch. He stays where he is but lifts himself up to sit on my counter while I curl up on the cushions, tea firmly between my hands. At least the honey scent is somewhat calming.
"I guess we just fell apart."
He sighs and I am feeling more and more tired the longer the seconds drag on. I love my brother but it is amazing how quickly the emotional whiplash can affect you.
"I'm sorry man. So you're off work for two weeks?"
"Yep."
"Well come hang out with me. I can get us a few jobs and that'll cover what we both need."
"I'm not going to work with you Akefia." I shake my head at the idea and put down my drink lest I spill it. But also to put my figurative foot down.
"Why not?"
"Because, Kefi, the people you 'work' with aren't the kind of people I want anything to do with."
"They're not bad guys, they're just -"
"If you say they're misunderstood then we learned from two different dictionaries what that word means. Kef, they're criminals. They deal drugs, weapons, people - I'm in need of money too but I'm not going to sully my hands for it."
"You'll be fine. It wouldn't even be a criminal offence, just some simple deliveries."
"If they're so simple and honest then why are you coming to me for money?" I ask pointedly and he looks surprised. The last time I stood up for myself was practically the last time we were brothers, but since he came back my bleeding heart has gotten me into more trouble than I'd like. Tonight though I just don't have the patience.
"Because you're my brother, Tem. More than these guys. These guys… they're not bad blokes but they will ask for it all back. You… you've always had my back, even if I didn't see it that way. No matter what. You're the only one who has."
Oh here we go. I sigh and shake my head but he's at my knees in moments, looking up at me with those pleading eyes of his. Eyes that are so cold to everyone else but his dear sweet baby brother.
"Tem. We make a good team. We always have."
I can't believe I'm actually considering this. Saying no to him is just too hard. He's my brother. My only brother. And I'm his only family since mum and dad disowned him. Who else has he got?
The truth is that I do have enough squirreled away. For emergencies…
"Can you really pay me back on Friday?" I ask quietly, and the sparkle in his eyes tells me I am going to regret this.
"Yes! I promise. I swear. I can pay you back. It is coming."
"And your other debts?" I ask sternly and he shakes his head.
"You come first. You're my brother Tem."
… I'm going to regret this.
"Fine." I sigh and push myself up. I can hear him thanking me and asking me if I'm sure but I ignore every word as I slip into the bathroom.
I've learned a few tricks or three from his other 'friends' over the years and thankfully he has never tried to search my place for any hidden stashes. I don't know if he knows I have them but regardless, I keep a little stored away for times like this. I wonder sometimes, if I had told Tea - would she be impressed or annoyed with me.
The plastic zip lock bag I keep taped to the inside of the toilet tank holds about $250. I should be able to lend him enough and still have enough to be okay. At least until he pays me back and until my next pay. Again, he doesn't need to know my leave is paid and if he thinks it's not then maybe he'll actually pay me back. That'll be a hefty amount - perhaps then I can actually curry some favor with my landlord and he'll forgive a miss or two.
I return with the $50 and he eagerly snatches it from my hands.
"Thank you, thank you! I promise you'll see it on Friday."
"I better. Along with the rest of what you promised." I say, swooping up my tea to take a large sip of it.
"Of course! It's coming. If not all of it then most of it."
"All of it, Kefi. Please."
"Yes! Okay, all of it! I promise. I swear on mum and dad."
I give him a disapproving look that he ignores as he stashes the generously given money into his pocket. He looks a hundred times more relieved now and I suppose I don't blame him. After all soon he'll get his fix and everything will be right in the world. As for me… I have $200 to last me the next week. Thank god I bought Ankha's meds before.
"Well I should probably let you relax and wind down. It's late after all." He says happily. Of course.
"Yeah. Remember - Friday."
"Hey." He hangs an arm over my shoulder and pulls me into a firm embrace. "Have I ever let you down?"
I bite my tongue but I am so tempted to ask him if he wants an honest answer or not.
He kisses the top of my head and with a jaunty spring in his step, skips on over to the door. Slipping on his shoes. Ankha has disappeared somewhere, likely found some dark place to nap in.
"Alright. Take care brother. And if you reconsider just give me a buzz. I'll see you on Friday."
With that he leaves and I feel every ounce of stress weigh me down. I fall onto my couch with a heavy sigh and slide down. My hands rest on either side of me and I feel so thin and done. There goes my mood.
I was so happy too. Sure I was humiliated at work, but I got to hang out with Yugi. I got to listen to his music and talk with him. We had dinner and he showed me how to swing…
I love my brother… but I am so envious of Tea. She got out when she could… if only I could do the same. If he was in a good place with good people then it wouldn't matter. But I know this money I work so hard for is going to his addictions or his debts, and they never change or get lower. The people he deals with… they're sleazy, manipulative and powerful, and he is so desperate for what they can provide that it doesn't matter what he needs to do or who he needs to walk over for it.
I'm going to burn one day and I know I should follow Tea's example… but he's my brother. My big brother. He never needed me as a child, pushed me away as a teen, and only started relying on me and treating me like family when he lost everything. I'm all he has now… mum and dad don't want anything to do with him unless he cleans his act and that takes patience and time and money - all of which that I have been providing for him.
And I'm the only one who has… he needs me. Now more than ever.
I'm a good person.
I am…
Right?
Ankha jumps onto my lap with a rolling purr and it makes me jolt. But she seeks my hand for a head rub and her beautiful fur is so soft and soothing to touch. Her purr is happy and warm and as she walks over me in circles I know she's telling me that it's bed time.
"Hey girl. Come on. Let's go to bed." I sit up and cuddle her, which she tries to escape from but endures my affection for a moment before I carry her off to bed with me.
I woke to my alarm the next morning and without thinking I arose to shower and dress. Ankha was already dancing around my feet for her breakfast as I was brushing my teeth Ankha meows at me and jumps onto the vanity. I pet her cheek but while she accepts the love I know there's something else she wants.
"Please daddy, I'll starve if you don't feed me now." I talk in a higher pitched voice for her and she meows and bumps me. I sigh and scratch her behind her ears before I leave. "Come on."
She races past me, tail up and ears forward. She always forgets though that before breakfast she must be a brave young lady and take her meds.
With my darling fed and a coffee freshly steaming in my travel mug, I slip on my shoes and leave.
It's a brisk morning. Fog and mist shroud the city but the morning sun makes everything appear to be glowing. It is one of those rare mornings that I often find myself wishing I could enjoy.
But the view from my office will rob me of the chance…
… no…
It won't.
Shit.
I turn the corner and find the first safe place to pull over and switch off the engine. But I feel only half conscious when I do this. I barely felt the engine shift to off and only vaguely am I aware of people walking or driving past me.
I don't have to work today. Yesterday… Kaiba told me to take 2 weeks off.
…
What am I supposed to do now? Go home? Then what?
I sit here for a while not really thinking of anything. I watch people as they walk, huddled in their jackets from the morning chill, and cars breathing steam as they pass my car.
I could go home and try go back to sleep. I don't remember the last time I slept in … but I'm out now.
A knock rasps at my passenger window and I see a confused, impatient person waiting for me to roll the glass down. I don't know this person but against my better judgement I roll it down to see what he wants.
"Are you the Uber?" He asks and I chew my lip to contain the annoyed sigh.
"No, sorry." I shake my head and turn my indicator on. The first break I get I turn out onto the busy road and trudge along. I have no idea where I'm going, at this point I'm just letting the universe guide me until I inevitably decide to go back home.
Of course… sometimes the universe knows exactly what it's doing…
I am stuck in traffic at an awkward intersection of the city where many roads go everywhere and most drivers become impatient morons, and the pedestrians do not make it easier.
But the pedestrian I spy in front of me is struggling to pass the busy road since not a single vehicle is letting him in and the cargo he's carrying must be far too valuable to bother running.
Lucky for him, this driver is more than willing to pick him up.
I hesitate, with my hand hovering over my horn. The light I'm stuck at will be red for a while. Well and truly long enough for him to get in my car and settle in… but this is impulsive. But… it would be rude of me not to offer, wouldn't it?
I take a breath and honk my horn. I'm not the only among drivers to do this, but mine is short and not out of anger. I notice the car before me flip me off in their mirror but I don't care. Yugi's looking around for where the horn came from and I lean forward and wave him down. He frowns at me, confused perhaps but slowly he waves as if unsure if I meant him.
I chuckle, wind down my window and strain to lift my head out enough for him to see me. Instantly his soft face lights up with recognition and his wave becomes confident and friendly.
"Hey! Want a lift?" I shout over to him. He opens his mouth, looks around wildly and then carefully but swiftly makes his way over.
I hastily unlock the passenger side and he shyly opens the door. "Are you sure?" He asks me.
"Yeah, I've got nothing else to do today." I say cheerfully.
He's holding a guitar case and he takes a moment to figure out how to get it in. Quickly he opens the back door and lays it along the back seat before jumping into the front beside me. Once the doors are closed I let out a small, long breath of relief. This is ridiculous. I just successfully kidnapped Yugi!
"Thank you so much. My car decided it wanted to sleep in today." Yugi laughs nervously as he buckles himself in.
"It's no problem. Will your car be okay?" I ask conversationally, checking my blindspots just to make it look like I'm not ecstatic he's in my freaking car.
"Um, maybe? I don't really know cars." He laughs.
I smile at him and check his guitar. It's not strapped in but the big round bit it resting against the back of his seat. It should be okay for any turning I think.
"So where are we headed?" I ask conversationally.
"Um, do you know where the Uni is?"
"Yup." I say, flipping on my indicator to go right.
"Thank you again. I hope I'm not going to make you late for anything." He's so kind and it's taking every ounce of my restraint not to stare and commit to memory what he looks like in the light. It's so familiar but different to what he looks like at night or in the dim warm lights of the club.
His messy tri coloured hair is brushed and smooth and looks so nice to touch, his smart casual button up is complemented by the faded blue and ripped jeans and the leather cuffs around his wrist complete his look of a young, respectable man who's doing so much better at life than I am.
I remember though that he said something before and if I say nothing he is sure to feel guilty for this. "No, not at all." I laugh awkwardly and turn my attention back to the road. We still haven't moved but heaven forbid I make this weird. "It turns out I was meant to sleep in today."
He laughs and his smile is contagious and bright. "Meant to?"
"Hmm. I forgot I have two weeks off."
"Oh no. So you got up for nothing?" He asks and I chew my lip happily.
"Lucky for you I did." I glance at him and I swear his fair cheeks just reddened. He hides it though, looking out the window with a shy smile. I could be looking too far into it, but I'm going to take that as a win.
"So, what are you studying?" I ask curiously. I want to know more about the talented stranger in my car and more than anything I want him to keep talking.
"Um music mostly. I'm minoring in creative writing and majoring in music." He says proudly and it makes me happy to hear it.
"Well if you don't mind me saying it's paying off." I say and he shyly hums.
"Thank you. I hope it will honestly." He laughs.
"You've got the talent to go as far as you like. I truly believe that."
I glance at him when he doesn't respond only to see him looking at me in some form of awe. He notices me and looks away quickly, nervously shoving his hands between his legs and shrugging just a little. For a musician, he seems quite unsure of himself.
"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. I'm not really used to coming across such talent." I laugh nervously. I was excited, but now I'm just anxious. I feel every word is just going to make it worse and I really do not wish to fuck this up.
"No it's okay. I'm just… not really used to compliments. I … hah, I don't really know what to do with them." He laughs and I feel much better.
"You don't have to do anything with them, you don't even need to say anything. Just know that you have a talent and at least one person who believes in you."
"Thank you." He says quietly.
Finally we can drive and I carefully take us out of the busy intersection.
"So um." He begins nervously. "W-what do you do? For work I mean."
Right…
"Joey says you compete sometimes but, you work a day job too, right? That's why you have some time off?"
"Yep. I um, actually work for Kaiba Corp as a game developer."
"Oh wow! So you make games then?" He asks, his voice light and excited. It actually makes me feel confused. Game developing isn't as exciting as it sounds, but then I guess it's been ages since I've felt passionate about any aspect of my work.
"I do. I also help with the rules and codes for duel monsters and its games."
"That's so cool. Are you working on something now?" He turns in his seat to face me and it takes a great deal of concentration to keep my eyes on the road.
"Um yes, but I can't really say what yet."
"Ohh, is it a secret?" He asks curiously. I chance a glance at him and laugh when I see he's giving me an inquisitive, sly look. Just like a junior journalist.
"Yes, sort of. I can't leak anything until we're further along in the project."
"That is so cool. Did you have to go to Uni for that?"
"I did." I say happily. I'll admit, of all the shit in my life I am proud I made it through Uni with those courses. They weren't easy and they may not have been my first career choice but I am proud I made it. "I studied game design, informational technologies and creative arts."
"Ooh do you do art?" That definitely sealed his attention. All creatives are drawn to each other in one way or another.
"I used to. In my spare time I used to create characters and worlds and paint fantasy scenes." I say somberly. Those were good times back then in hindsight.
"You don't anymore?" He frowns and I give him a reassuring smile.
"I don't have the time anymore."
"Hmm. Well you said you've got two weeks off, maybe you can make something soon?"
"Maybe." I smile happily at him but honestly my instinct is to brush off the idea.
But why? He's right after all. I have two whole weeks off. What else am I going to do? I don't have the money to pick up art supplies but I do still have at least a pen and my old art book stuffed away somewhere. Maybe I will draw something.
"Do you have any plans for this afternoon?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"Not really. Grabbing a coffee maybe. Hanging out with you." He says happily. "I-if you still want to."
"Of course. I'd like nothing else." I say and his smile makes my heart flutter. My grip around the wheel tightens and I force my eyes onto the road for a while. We aren't far from the university now. In a way that's not such a bad thing. I shouldn't drive so flustered and I really don't understand why he makes me feel this way. But I know it's him. I feel so desperate for his voice that it's frightening and ridiculous.
"We'll find something then. Maybe we can just go for a coffee and a walk around?"
"That sounds good to me. We could go back to that park last night." I suggest weakly. I honestly don't mind where we go so long as we can chat.
"Oh that sounds nice. I think it'll be a nice day today. The afternoon sun will be good. I'll play you something."
"I would love that." I say in complete earnest and I catch his shy smile again.
We pull up into the carpark and I find a good close spot closest to the main entrance. He lingers, and now that we've stopped I can't say I mind. I don't really want him to go either. I want to see more of his smiles, hear more of his voice, know more of his life and what makes him so interesting. But I am also so afraid of pushing a boundary and making him so uncomfortable he doesn't want to see me anymore. I mean, realistically, I'm just a stranger that watches his shows way too closely. It's a miracle he even accepted my offer to drive him here in the first place. If I were anyone else he'd be too trusting to take advantage of.
"So um, thank you so much for the lift. I'll treat you this afternoon, promise."
I hold up a hand and give him a warm smile. "No need, it was my pleasure. Should I pick you up this afternoon?"
"If that's easier for you. It might be a bit of a walk otherwise." He says. He's right but - what else have I got to do today?
"I'll let you know. Either way, 2:30, right?" I clarify and he nods happily, turning now to leave. It's sad to see him go but I'm excited for this afternoon.
He fetches his guitar and leans down to wave me goodbye again.
"Have a good day." I say after him and he smiles brightly.
"You too! See you soon!"
I watch him briskly jog up the stairs with his guitar slung over his shoulder until he disappears. I sigh happily and my eyes land upon the time on my radio. Just about 9:30… he doesn't finish for another several hours yet.
I should go home… figure it out from there.
I spent my first day off doing nothing but scrolling through trash TV, petting Ankha as she purred on my stomach. You'd think a day off lounging on the couch doing nothing but channel surfing and napping would be ideal for anyone who works the long hours I do - but I am so bored I ended up snoozing most of the day away.
I tried to get up and do something but it was all so much effort and I ended up right where I started. The only times I got up with any enthusiasm was if Ankha randomly decided to toddle off and make noises somewhere. She was always fine but clearly having me here disrupted her normally introverted lifestyle.
Come 1:30 though I woke with a start and the feeling of dread as I feared I had missed the time I was to go see Yugi. My heart raced with the fear of disappointing both him and myself but it was a relief to know I still had an hour before he even finished for the day.
Still, it did give me the energy to get up, find something more casual to wear and even lightly search the house for any old sketch books I still kept.
I found one but not the others. I'm sure they'll be around here somewhere but this one would do for now.
This one was a small A5 diary which contained character concepts for a DND campaign I used to run with Mahad, Manah, Tea and a couple of Tea's friends I don't really speak to. It's old, like 7 years now, but it brings back fond memories. I used to draw so much back then I doubt I still have the muscle memory.
I smile fondly, tracing over the faded and partially smudged pencil markings, letting the graphite come off onto my fingers. I would finish a drawing with the side of my palm almost completely shimmering in lead back in the day.
I wonder if Yugi would care to see these… there's still some blank pages in the back. I could find a pen somewhere and sketch something while he plays for me - if he wants to. Can't be any harm in bringing it surely.
I make sure to take with me my large wooly jacket. It's not cold outside and the sun is out, but it's not hot either. If anything, carrying this over my shoulder would be nicer than carrying around the book and this jacket has the perfectly sized breast pocket for it.
I decide to walk. Partially because what the hell am I going to do for half an hour? I have my keys, phone, wallet and I found a plain old blue biro to bring with me. Slipping on some sneakers and my jacket I head on out.
The walk is nicer than I remember, but also much longer than I thought. I should have driven - but I drive everywhere and I like the breeze.
But Yugi will have his guitar - maybe I should have driven and been considerate?
Too late now to turn back. God why am I like this? Can never make a decision I'm just happy with and will benefit everyone. The one time I do something for myself and my brain reminds me how I could have done something for someone else.
I try to push it aside. Putting myself in a bad mood isn't going to help and I definitely don't want to disappoint Yugi and tell him I'm just not coming. I do send him a quick little text though to let him know I'm walking and it might take a little longer to get there.
I don't expect a text back immediately of course, but after about 5 minutes I check my phone and to my surprise I have received a text back: No prob, see you soon :)
The smile and energy that comes from that one smiley face makes me pick up my pace. With a spring in my step I quickly cross the next road, looking around at the large wide world around me.
Eventually I come to the university. I am tired, I am slightly out of breath and my legs are on fire. This serves me right for living such a sedentary life style and working a desk job, but still I don't remember walking to be such a task.
But I'm here and many others are walking around too. Some are going to their cars, others are starting their journeys by foot - I don't see Yugi so I decide to just take a break and sit down for a bit by the fence and out of the way. My legs definitely like that idea. I can feel the burn spreading through my muscles as they relax. I busy myself with some simple social media scrolling - not that I haven't seen any of it today. A lot of it is repetitive and stuff I've been scrolling through all day, but it beats looking lost and like I don't belong.
I smile when I see a new notification pop up from Yugi asking me if I made it okay. I send him one back letting him know where I am and several long moments later as the crowds are thinning I spy his spikey little head bopping towards me.
He wears a bright smile, his guitar is still slung over his shoulder and he looks relieved to see me. I use the fence to help me get up, regretting how old I'm getting now and the fact I thought walking was a good idea. I'd forgotten what pain felt like until now.
"Hey."
"Hey!"
He's bubbly as ever and doesn't even seem to notice how feeble I am in comparison to his youth. He's so kind.
"Ready to go?" I ask happily and he nods happily and extends his hand for me to lead the way.
"How was class?" I ask him and he hums in thought.
"Eh, pretty normal. Same old stuff. You know how uni days are."
I laugh at that because, yes - I do.
"How about you? Get up to much today?" He asks and I sigh.
"Not really. I still have no idea what people are meant to do on days off. Got to spend some time with my cat though, she's happy for that."
"Oh you have a cat?" He asks enthusiastically. An animal lover too I see?
"I do. She's a white Siberian."
He looks confused but it's so cute it makes me laugh. "I'm sorry I don't know what breed that is." He laughs.
"It's a white fluff ball." I laugh.
"OH! Those are so cute!" Yugi exclaims and I just love this. Immediately I am just so happy right now. So glad I came here, walked or not.
"She's adorable."
"How old is she?"
"She's 2, turning 3 this year."
"Oh she's a baby!" Yugi coos and it makes my heart melt to hear such endearment. He sounds as if he has a huge soft spot for animals.
"Do you own any pets?"
"Nah, my apartment won't allow them." He sighs and he sounds disappointed but his tone lightens in the next minute. "My uncle had a dog and two parrots though. The parrots used to sing and dance to our music. They were so good with words it was like you were jamming with people."
I laugh and nod. "Birds are highly intelligent creatures. Parrots are among the smartest."
"I believe it. I've always wanted an animal I could call my own but it's hard enough getting a place to live in the city let alone somewhere that allows pets."
I sigh, because I know that hardship all too well. "I agree with that. Finding an apartment that would allow me to take in fosters wasn't easy."
"Foster?" Yugi asks curiously, looking at me with a slight turn to his head. I smile warmly and safely lead us across the road first.
"Yes it's something I used to do. I used to volunteer at the local animal shelter and care for homeless animals or animals that were injured."
"Wow that is so cool! How did you get into that?" He asks me. This is so new and exciting to me. I've never really had anyone take this deep an interest that wasn't anyone I was already close to.
"Um… I kinda just walked in and offered to help." I laugh sheepishly. "When they saw I was really good with the animals and had built some trust I offered to take any they couldn't house any more as fosters and they agreed. I'd rehabilitate the injured wild life such as birds or squirrels, sometimes tortoises or anything really, and sometimes I'd help unwanted animals find their forever homes. Some dogs and cats would come to me off the streets either injured or pregnant and I'd take care of them until they could be adopted out. I've raised litters of pups and dogs and hand reared birds - it's a very rewarding experience."
"Wow!" He breathes. I have to level my own breathing because I never thought I'd impress him like this again. "I couldn't let the animals go I don't think. Especially the pregnant ones! That is SO cool! Imagine gaining the trust of a wild animal too. I've never had a bird so much as approach me no matter what kind of food I offer them."
I laugh with him and our pace has slowed to something more relaxed.
A local park isn't far and it seems this might be the one we're going to sit at. It's lovely though. With a large duck pond, some gorgeously thick trees, manicured lawns and a nice winding path. This would be lovely to sit in in peace.
"Gaining the wildlife's trust isn't easy. It takes a great deal of patience and consistency."
"Yeah it would." He agrees. "Do you wanna chill here?"
"Sounds nice." I smile.
I follow him to a random soft patch on the grass and lay out my jacket to sit on. He lays his guitar down and sits cross legged beside me, leaning back on his hands and enjoying the cool breeze that moves his hair gently. The sun hits his face beautifully and he looks so at peace. Such a beautiful masterpiece … I barely remember the last time I laid my eyes on something so inspiring.
I lean back too and my hand finds the corner of my book and it occurs to me that the last time I was drawn to such beauty, I drew her.
"Yugi." I bite my lip and he looks at me happily, squinting and moving his hand to block the sun from his vision. Here goes. "I brought one of my artbooks, I was wondering um… w-would you mind if I sketched for a bit while we just enjoy the sun?"
"No of course, go for it. Can I see what you draw?" He asks excitedly.
I don't mind… but it might be weird if I show him a drawing of him… "I don't mind. I've got some old drawings in here." I say happily as I dig out the old book and my pen while I'm at it. "Um… but actually I was hoping to sketch you - if you don't mind."
"Me?" I expected him to be creeped out, but instead he looks warily confused but incredibly intrigued. "Why me?"
I smile and decide to just go for it. "You look nice just now, in the sun I mean."
He narrows his eyes at me but eventually shrugs and nods. "Okay, how do you want me?"
God that question can wage wars…
I swallow that stray thought as quickly as it rose and focused hard on finding a blank page. "Um, leaning back, how you were a second ago. Just relax, enjoy the sun. Don't even register me."
He laughs and I see him do as I suggest. "Kinda hard to do that when you know you're being drawn."
I smile and let the silence relax us. I bring the book up and start mapping out his shape lightly with my pen.
"How do you perform on stage knowing so many people are watching?" I ask him casually.
He hums in thought. "I focus on the sound of my instrument and the emotion I'm feeling. I push everything else out and just put myself in a void where it's just me and the music."
I smile warmly, remembering how he looked every time I've seen him play. He does wear an expression that suggests he's not even on this plane with us, but somewhere else entirely. In the realm of his own soul where he can be as expressive as he likes.
"The bright lights help too, it's hard to know how many people are watching you when you have stage lights in your eyes."
I laugh at that and I adore his smile. I decide then to quickly sketch that down before it passes. I'll touch it up later from memory but for now, yes… beautiful.
"I'm glad you brought a sketch book." He says warmly.
"Mmm?"
"I think it suits you."
I frown slightly, focusing on the intricate shapes of his hair and the way it frames his soft face. I wonder what he means by that.
"How do you figure?" I ask idly.
I notice he looks at me and smiles sweetly. I can't keep sketching while he's watching so I just sort of pause while I wait.
"Well, forgive me if this is kinda weird… but you seem… to be in your element right now?"
I'm intrigued so I put my book down, face down so he can't see and wait for him to elaborate.
He sits up and rests his hands in his lap. "Okay. When you talked about art earlier, your eyes kinda lit up but your voice was sad. It sounded like you missed it and the job you're doing now doesn't give you the chance to really keep doing it. At least as much as you'd like. Your voice, it… it sounded like you longed for it."
I truly admire his perception. Truth be told I didn't realise I did miss it until today. But he picked up on it immediately. Just from a brief observation.
"Sorry that must be kinda weird, right? My friends tell me I read too much into things." He laughs nervously but he's absolutely right.
"No, you're actually right." I nod slowly and offer a kind smile. "I do miss it."
Yugi smiles at me and for a minute that feels like the most amazing moment of eternity, we just sit here and gaze.
This would be one of those cliches I think, where the world fades away and nothing else matters. My heart is pounding and I can't pull myself away from his smile or the glimmer in his eyes. The sun shines remarkably against his alabaster skin and brings out the rich brown hues in his hair.
He chews his lip and looks away shyly and we laugh softly, sheepishly and look away.
"Um, do you want me to lean back again?" He asks quietly. At first I'm unsure what he means and then I feel the weight of the book and remember.
"Um, sure. If you don't mind of course."
He nods and resumes the pose he was in before. While he's not looking I allow myself to breath deeply, sighing at the lovely visage before me before I pick up my pen and continue where I left off.
I don't know what to make of this feeling honestly. He makes me feel so invigorated from the smallest gestures. He makes me feel happy and giddy like I haven't been in such a long time. I'm feeling exhilarated almost just from his smile and it's a feeling I shouldn't feel towards him.
I've only just met him for one thing.
But then I look at that smile and it… it shouldn't matter… should it?
We sit in silence for a little while longer. He soaks in the rays and I try my best to capture his likeness and the beauty of his peace. It is difficult. I've not drawn in so long my pen feels about ready to leap from my fingers. But it's coming along nicely. It'd look so much better if I had a pencil though. For pen work it isn't bad.
"How is it coming? Can I move yet?" He asks and I laugh.
"Just finishing up, yes, you can move."
"Oh thank God!" He sighs happily and immediately sits up to rotate and flex his wrists. They would be sore for sitting like that for so long.
"Sorry about that." I say quietly, but I'm happy with this. Elated more at the fact he let me draw him. His features are so subtle, soft and mature in all the right places, youthful and eternal at the same time. In all my life of drawing I don't think I've ever captured such grace.
"Can I see?" Yugi's inquisitive tone makes me feel all shy and giddy at the same time. I hold the book close but I did promise I would show him. I just hope he likes it… and doesn't think it's strange for someone to pay such close attention to him.
"S-sure."
I hand it to him with a slightly shaking hand that I hope he doesn't notice. He smiles warmly at me and gingerly takes the book. The moment it leaves my grasp though a hundred fears rush forward. Did I capture him right? Will the pen work look okay? Is this what he expected? What if I had shaded it more, added finer detail to his hair, emphasized the sun's glow and the gentle shades behind him. All these thoughts make my heart pound rapidly, almost to the point of nausea. I chew the end of my pen and twirl it in my fingers, my knees bounce.
I watch his curious face light up the moment he sees it and it looks so bright and happy I could just die. It doesn't quell my fears but it does a good job of making my breath pause.
"Wow!" He sighs under his breath. "Atem, this is incredible. I can't believe you drew this so quickly."
"W-with some proper materials I could do a better job. It's been a while since I put pen to paper-"
"No seriously, this is amazing! You're so talented!"
If the world could swallow me up and douse me in its cold embrace, now would be the worst time! I feel as hot as the sun and I'm certain it's showing. The smile is something I can't hide no matter how much I look away or rub it from my face and my heart is beating so fast I'm sure it left my body.
He called me talented. He's really impressed. I could die happily here and have no regrets.
"Thank you." I say quietly.
He's looking at it so closely, lightly his fingers trace the work and his eyes are dazzling. I wish I could draw from memory so I could draw this too. I would capture everything. Every moment. If I had a photographic memory I would immortalize him forever.
"Just amazing." He breathes. "Again, I'm just so impressed." He looks at me with the most heart throbbing smile and eyes like diamonds that I can't even breathe. "You've got unreal talent." He says kindly, passing it back to me.
I hesitate though and my mouth moves before I even think about what I'm saying. "You can keep it, if you like."
He blinks in surprise and for a brief moment he pulls his hand back. "Are you sure?"
Am I sure?
"Yes of course. If you want to."
He looks back at the book and then at me with a beautifully soft smile. "Thank you, but I don't want to pull it from your book -"
"Keep the book." I say quickly.
Do I know what I'm doing? Absolutely not. But it doesn't matter. At all. He can keep anything he wants.
"The whole book? I couldn't."
"No really. It- it has some old drawings in it. They're um, from my DND days but I don't need it anymore and I'd like to share it with you. Maybe those drawings will get more love and attention in your care than my own." I say humbly and for the first time in a while, I'm proud of the words and the decision my heart has made for me.
He looks so touched as he holds it to his chest. He chews his lip and quietly thanks me.
I'm gonna die.
He's gonna kill me one day with those looks, with that smile, with his words. And I welcome it so long as I am allowed to continue to bask in his light.
God what am I thinking? I'm coming undone like some love struck protagonist in a cliche Christmas movie. This isn't like me. I shouldn't be feeling anything like this…
"Would you mind going through the other pages with me?" He asks and just like that, how can I deny the hope in his voice?
"Of course!"
He happily sits closer to me, our knees touch and he smiles shyly at me as he navigates to the first page. I try to contain my breathing to something somewhat normal and friendly and not all panicked, but its difficult when I can feel his shoulder against my arm, when I can feel his warmth radiating from him and smell the exotic scent of whatever product he uses in his hair.
I do my best and if he notices at all how incredible I feel he makes no comment against it. Instead, he gazes upon the first page and I sigh happily at the memory of my first dnd character.