A/N: I don't know if I should warn you with this one. We've got sweetness, we've got drama, we've got feels and we've got humour. Brace yourself for this ride of a chapter XD
Atem
We took some time to dry off before we left. The sun is setting and we're still quite damp. Jeans and underwear aren't great at letting water go and I'm pretty sure there's sand in area's there should not be sand.
We spoke of any memories we had of beaches. I told him of the many times I'd come here with Mahad and Manah as teens and he told me that this had been perhaps the 4th time he'd ever visited a beach.
I was definitely surprised to hear that. He's hardly lived anywhere else that is distant from the beach and all children desire to go. But not him.
When he was younger he'd get bullied and ostracised. I remember him telling me that at the park. I didn't realise that extended to beach days. The few other times he came here, he came here with his friends but even in summer he rarely accepted to go.
So taking him here today wasn't just nice but a treat as well.
Yugi directed me to where he lives. A quiet bendy street with well done pavements and trees dotting the paths and protected by old iron fences. It's an older part of the city but well kept. You don't find trash on the streets but the buildings have seen their many winters.
The apartments here are squished together and they're thin and vertical rather than somewhat spacious like mine. I always thought this style of building to be too claustrophobic for my tastes. I've never been in one but I can't imagine one gets much privacy. Their walls must be so thin. How does he get in any practice?
He guided me to 109. I parked outside and got out with him. I cannot wait to rip these jeans off when I get home but I'm happy to be here a little longer.
Yugi fetches his guitar from the back seat and I walk with him to his stairs.
Just like every other house here, his black wooden door is up a small flight of stairs. Silver numbers are screwed onto it just under the peep-hole which might actually be too tall for him. It's rather high even for me. His welcome mat is a cute lord of the rings reference that says speak friend and enter. I love that.
"So um… this is it." Yugi says shyly.
He's fidgeting with his keys and the sight of him standing before me, half drenched and all shy smiles… it makes my heart flutter wildly again. I feel breathless and weightless and lost in time. I am drawn to his magnetic pull and impossible charm.
"I… had fun today." He says quietly.
"I did too." I admit. I feel so foolish right now. All flustered and embarrassed. I feel so young and giddy. Like I did all those years ago when I first began to fall for Tea.
But this is Yugi. I'm… I can't be feeling this way for him. I've never felt this way towards any other man before…
But Yugi… he's different to every other man I've ever known. He makes me feel this way. Alive and fresh, coy and unsure.
And I can't say I dislike it.
"M-maybe we can do this again sometime." He says and every word steals any breath I manage to take.
"I'd like that." I say happily and his smile… God his smile is to die for. I take a conscious breath and we laugh lightly together. This is so ridiculous. I don't even know what's happening right now.
"Um, w-would you like to come in?" Yugi asks, gesturing inside.
"I'd love to." I say breathlessly, but then I am very aware of how wet my clothes are. I really need to shower and change. Damn it. Serves me right for not keeping a spare set of clothes in my car. "Um but I really should go home and change." I add with an awkward laugh.
"Right! Yeah, of course." Yugi laughs too. "I'd offer you some of mine…"
"I probably won't fit-"
"-won't fit."
We say together and laugh. What is wrong with me right now? I feel about ready to burst with God only knows what.
"I should probably go."
"Yeah…"
We stand a moment longer and I figure if I don't make a move we'll just stand here. I move in for a hug -because he seemed fine with that last night and it feels wrong to just wave him goodnight. He moves forward too but in a way that seems more like we'll bump into one another. We pull back and laugh awkwardly before slowly moving back in.
I intended for a quick hug like last night but as his hands wrap around my shoulders and mine comfortably encircle his waist, I find myself comfortable here in the crevice of his shoulder and neck. His hair is still wet but his body is so small and fragile in my arms. His touch is delicate and I oddly desire more of it.
His hold on me tightens for a moment. "I'm really happy right now." He says quietly.
I hold my elated sigh lest I breathe in his ear but also because I feel shy doing so.
"Me too." I admit.
He pulls back from me and I let him. Of course I let him. I don't want to but … he captures me in those wide, stunning eyes and I feel my blood racing through my body. My cheeks are tingling, my body shivers and his smile is infectious.
I have to stop this. Whatever it is. Before it becomes something I'm really not prepared for.
"I - I should go." I say quickly and we both take a hurried step back.
"Maybe." He says quietly.
"Um." I clear my throat. "Can I text you later?"
"Yeah. You can text me any time." He says happily.
"Great." I laugh lightly.
I'm doing it again. Falling into this spell of his.
"Umm… well thank you for today." I say happily, taking my first step down his stairs.
"No worries, I had fun." He says warmly.
"Good night, Yugi."
"Good night."
I happily take the last of his steps but I'm not too quick about it. I don't know why I'm lingering, or even hoping he'll call me back. I'm still wet and in need of a change. Him calling me back won't-
"Are you free tomorrow?" He asks quickly and faster than ever I spin on my heel. He looks hopeful and I can't deny him. I just can't.
But I can play.
"Well let me check my schedule." I say pulling out my phone to pretend to look at my calendar.
My heart seizes though and my happiness is swiftly put on hold. I see a few missed calls and more text messages than I'd like. From Mahad, Manah and my brother. I have no idea why they've been trying to contact me but right now?
"Uhm…" I swallow hard and tear my focus away and back on him. I've left him in suspense too long. I can see his hope waning. "Well I'm not working tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the day after that. So … it seems I might be free tomorrow."
His excitement bursts and it's almost enough to make me forget the dread making its home deep in my stomach.
"Great. Then maybe I'll slide into your messages tonight."
"I'd like that." I say happily.
He chews his lip and blushingly opens his door. I watch him enter and revel at the sly smile he gifts me as he slips inside, slowly closing the door.
When I hear it click closed my elated mood deflates immediately. I turn towards my car and sigh heavily.
I was having such a great day but now I just feel like all that joy has been robbed from me.
My friends are fine but more than one missed call and messages are never a good sign. I've half a mind to check on them first than my brother. Then there's my brother. What the hell could he want?
I let myself into my car and set up my phone for hands free. In any case I'd like to get home and shower.
They're all asking me where I am but they don't specify whether or not it's urgent. Manah's messages are most recent but they're all not that far apart and only about an hour or so ago. Right when we would have been swimming.
I don't want to talk to my brother yet. Knowing him he's looking for more money… Manah and Mahad are most likely with one another. I'll call her.
Set to dial and I pull out.
It doesn't take her long to answer.
"Atem, where are you?"
"I'm on my way home. What's up?" I answer quickly. My stomach is turning and anxiety is heavy in my chest. I hate missing calls.
"We were wondering where you were. We're at your place, did you forget?"
My place? At least it doesn't sound urgent… why are they …?
"He forgot. You forgot didn't you?" I hear Mahad in the back.
Then I remember! It's Friday! "Shit we were gonna game tonight."
"Yeah, we've been waiting." Manah says with a slight huff.
I can't believe I forgot. I told Mahad at the start of the week that they could come over Friday for some boardgames and chilling. I've been so focused on everything else this week - on Yugi lets be real - that I completely forgot.
Which is also why my brother has tried calling. Because he told me he'd have my money on Friday. Damn I'm stupid.
"Right. Well I'll be home soon. I'm on the road now." I say, shaking my head to myself.
I'm relieved. I am. I feel foolish for forgetting but I am so thankful it is only this.
"Um…" Her voice is quiet, as if she's speaking close to the speaker. "Your brother is here."
It doesn't surprise me too much but I know how they feel about him behind his back. "Are you guys okay?"
"Yeah. But how long will you be?"
I smile warmly. "I'll be there soon. I'm a few blocks away at peak traffic hour. So like… 15 minutes?"
She sighs loudly. "Good. Get your ass over here. It's weird being in your house without you." She says happily, no longer whispering.
"I'll see you soon." I say happily and she hangs up with a sweet goodbye.
I sigh softly quietly though. I won't be long, but I almost wish they'd all disperse before I get there. I love them, I do. Truthfully, now that the crisis is averted I am eager to catch up with them. It'll take my mind of things… although if I were alone I'd probably spend the night texting Yugi. I wonder if he'd like to join us…
He's showering and changing and probably looking forward to a night in after a spontaneous day at the beach.
God today was fun. I wonder what we'll do tomorrow.
I laugh at that. "Look at me, assuming already I'll be spending tomorrow with him…"
Why can't I stop smiling?
My entire body is just buzzing at the thought of spending more time with him.
I can't wait. I actually can't wait.
But what does this mean? Anything? Am I just excited for a new friend? I've never been that desperate for socialising…
Whatever it is, isn't that. It's more than that. He makes me feel alive and so young. I feel… good with him.
I run around these thoughts in circles until I finally pull into the car lot. I'm not as wet as I was but in a way that's almost worse. My clothes are that uncomfortable level of damp that sticks to my skin too closely. Trudging up the few flights of stairs is horrible even as I purposefully take larger steps to avoid the awful rub. But soon I'm at my own door and bracing for the uncomfortable greeting ahead.
I open the door to the soft tones of my brother, otherwise the apartment is eerily quiet. His voice silences shortly after I enter though and I hear the rummaging of movement further in.
"Honey, I'm home!" I call out playfully. In seconds, as I'm slipping off my uncomfortable sneakers, my cat is at my feet, meowing and sniffing my legs, my shoes, my hands. "I smell different don't I?" I whisper to her. She's more curious in what I smell like now than excited for food soon.
"Hey!" I hear Manah first and stand to greet her. She's mid stride when she pauses upon seeing me. "Why are you wet?"
"Where were you?" Mahad asks, eyeing me curiously.
Akefia remains behind them but I can see him cocking his head curiously too.
"I lost track of time. Sorry." I say sheepishly. They part for me and I give my brother a curt nod as I swiftly cross the apartment. I desperately just want to change out of this. I'll shower later.
"Lost track of time doing what?" Mahad asks.
I ignore them for a minute while I slip into my room, quickly closing the door. I waste no time at all beginning my struggle to undress.
In the meantime I feel my tongue is tight. I don't mind admitting I was hanging out with Yugi - but I also would prefer to keep that to myself. It's not like hanging out with him should be a secret - but the time I spend with him has been so … precious. I don't want them to think the wrong thing; and my brother doesn't need to know who else I'm spending my time with.
Should I tell them or not? Brush it off? How the hell do I explain this? Going to the beach randomly isn't something I do, and I'm less known for jumping in half clothed. I don't think I can come up with a believable excuse but to tell them what I was up to.
It's not like there's anything deeper to think about it. I made a new friend and we went to the beach spontaneously together. Nothing suss at all.
I pile my wet clothes together and swap them for something comfy. Loose track pants, a gray shirt and dry socks. Perfect! I grab my wet clothes and drop them into the washer for later before I quickly join my friends.
"I was … hanging out. I went to the beach with Yugi." I say simply when I rejoin them.
Ankha, who had followed me to my room and was waiting patiently, is now circling my legs. I pick her up and carry her princess style. At first she tries to escape, but I've got her in my hold so she relaxes and floops in my arms, swishing her fluffy tail energetically.
"Who's Yugi?" Manah asks curiously.
"He's a musician I met. We've been hanging out a bit this week." I answer easily. As long as I keep it nice and casual, there won't be any more questions than that.
"You went to the beach without changing?" Mahad asks further. I shoot him a warning look but he doesn't look about ready to back out of that.
"Yes. It wasn't planned."
He shrugs and sits down and I inwardly sigh into Ankha's fur. I'm glad he's dropping it now.
"Brother." Akefia says finally. He looks downright guilty, smiling at me behind that nervous grin. He doesn't have my money.
Figures.
I put Ankha down and tilt my head towards the bedroom. He follows me, I can hear it in the floor boards. Once we're in my room he closes the door and turns to me quickly.
"Do you have it?" I ask him with enough speed to catch him off guard. I'm sure he's been rehearsing what to tell me, but I want the truth.
"I - no. Not all of it. Some."
I sigh heavily and fall onto my bed, head in hands. I should have known better honestly. I mean for this week I more or less had forgotten. I counted what was left and rationed well, knowing that he promised he would get it back to me or I would be paid again before running out; but it's still disappointing.
"Akefia, I need that money back."
"I know. I know. Look, it was going well but the guy - he stiffed us. He didn't pay for nearly half of what he owed."
I don't care for his excuses. "So how much have you got for me?" I ask and watch as he slips out a thinner envelope than I'd like to see. He hands it to me and I quickly count the $300 inside.
"I know it's not all of it -"
"It's barely a quarter." I snap at him. 300 will definitely help but he owes me 2500. "Kef I can't ask for another extension on my bills."
"I know. I tried, I'm sorry."
"So what now?" I ask in frustration. I get this isn't easy for him. But honestly… I can pay this month's bill but this is going to do shit for everything else I have coming up. Between car registration, an angry landlord, electricity and water bills… this isn't going to cover it. I was able to pay this month's rent but I still owe my landlord two months worth… and the electricity bill is due at the end of the month along with water. At this rate I'll have to choose which to keep… I can't get more extensions…
"I'm doing what I can to organise some more buyers-"
"Akefia the drugs are not working! Whoever is setting up your deals is doing fucking shit job. Just get an honest to God fucking job somewhere, something you can bloody rely on."
"Who is going to hire me, Atem? My fucking record sort of prevents me from working at Chuckies."
I sigh and rub the throb from my temples.
I get it. I do. He fucked up bad and now he's paying for it. But if he should never have dragged he down with him.
No… I should never allowed myself to be dragged down with him. This is my problem as well as his now. He can't do shit if the people he's dealing with are scummier than he is.
"Look, it's 300. That should get you by with something. I'll come up with the rest -"
"Don't. Just…. Don't." I'm seething and I can't even look at him right now. I need to think of a reliable solution out of this and I can't listen to any of his promises right now.
"Atem-"
"Shut up. Let me think." I snap at him.
"Fuckin hell…" He curses under his breath but he does fall silent.
I could ask for a raise… but given I've been forced onto two weeks leave, I don't think I deserve it. I could look for a second job, but I can't guarantee the time I'll have once I go back to work. I can't ask mum and dad for help…
What the fuck am I going to do?
"I don't know what to do." I say finally. I feel like crying. I feel like screaming and ripping into something, breaking anything. Fuck!
"I'll think of something. I'll get you your money."
"Yeah, you've been saying that for ages Kef. It's promises like that that has led us here. It's shit like this that's why she -"
I cut myself off. I didn't want him knowing he's the reason Tea left me. But now I've said too much.
"Tea?"
"Yes. Tea…" I sigh heavily and again find comfort in the darkness my palms provide.
"For fucks sake."
I have nothing else to say. I have no energy left. I was having a great fucking day, a fantastic week and now… just fucking kill me.
"I'll make it right."
"How? How are you going to make this right? She's gone, I'm broke, and everyone is breathing down my fucking neck."
"You're not the only one Atem. For the record you're lucky I came back with anything. The boys wanted the entire fucking cut and I had to seriously threaten them just to give me that much."
"I don't want to know what bullshit hoops you needed to jump through Kef, get yourself some better company or don't bother. Fuck."
"Like it's that easy." He scoffs.
I'm done and stand to level with him. "You're smart, brother. You're charismatic, creative and smart. Get out."
He's fuming. I know he is by how small his pupils are and the twitch in his brow. But I have no patience right now. I won't let him see me break and I need him to leave.
"Fine. Have fun with your friends." He says darkly before he leaves. I'd see him out but as he leaves my sight I collapse back onto my bed and bury my face into my palms, pulling tightly at my hair to stop myself from screaming.
I can't cry yet. Mahad and Manah will be in here in seconds. But fuck me… what the hell am I supposed to do.
I never should have leant him any money. I never should have let him walk all over me. But he's in as much shit as I am now, how could I have turned him away? I was doing well and he needed help. I couldn't have foreseen this.
But now I can't see how I'm going to get out of this. I have a total 400 now to get me through electric, water and rent back payments as well as my fucking car coming up, food for myself and Ankha… God… why? What the hell did I do to deserve this?
"Atem?" Manah's voice is small and gentle by the door. But I don't lift my head to see her. I can right now. I can't… I'll lose it if I do. "Darling, what's wrong?"
She's at my side and pulls me into her. I lean against her chest and let her hold me, and I can't hold it anymore. I'm so … broken right now.
Yugi
When I closed the door I leant on it for a moment to catch my breath and find some grounding. My heart is hammering in my chest so loudly I wonder if my neighbours can hear me.
I can't believe I feel this way though. Ryou's right, I'm crushing hard for this guy. He's so kind and sensitive, hot as fuckkkk and the way he looks at me steals my breath away. His gentle touch on my cheek earlier made my head swim. I wonder… if it wasn't for the wave would he have kissed me?
Then there was a moment just now. Like any romance flick. The guy drops the girl at her door… only this time it's the hot, shy corporate man dropping off the small, shy musician…
God if he kissed me there… I'd have lost it. He'd need to catch me, bring me inside, sit me down… fuck to have him inside with me… I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off him. I want to know how he tastes, what he feels like, how he would touch me. Every compliment, every look.. it HAS to mean something.
Ryou will know.
I kick the little foot stool over to me so I can peep through the hole in my door but I see his car is gone. I'm a little relieved, because I think I'd just watch him if he was still here.
Hurriedly I slip out my phone, dial Ryou's number and walk swiftly to the bathroom. I set it down while I undress and then put it in the little phone holder I keep nearby. A moment later he answers.
"Hey!" I greet him energetically. "Got a minute to chat?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"I'm about to shower but it won't be long. I just got home from my afternoon with Atem."
"...okay?"
"Yeah… um. Tell me if I'm reading too much into things, but there was a moment at the beach where he looked at me and touched my -"
"You went to the beach?"
I sigh and shake my head. I put the water on gentle. Not my favourite but it should let him hear me better. "Yes. Anyway he touched my cheek and -"
"I'm sorry. I'm still imagining the image of you at the beach."
"Shut up." I hear him laughing in the back and for a while I just stand here, quietly rinsing my hair until he's done.
"Alright. I'm sorry. Continue."
Hmmm. "There's something wrong with me, right? Like… I just met this guy but feel so excited about it. I want to see him again, right now and he just left."
"Why didn't you invite him in?"
"Because we were both wet and in need of a shower." I admit shyly. God… if he accepted… would I be showering? Would he? He looked so hot with his shirt off earlier… he's so much stronger than I thought he'd be. For a programmer I imagined he'd be about as noodly as I am but those bronzed muscles… fuck.
"Why not shower together?"
"SHUT UP! I JUST MET HIM!" I shriek in shock that he would even suggest such a thing. I expect that kind of pervertedness from Joey, not from Ryou.
He's laughing and I groan and let the water soak my hair for a bit, drowning him out until he's done.
But God that would be hot! If he came inside, showered with me… "Fuck, Ryou don't this to me." I sigh, leaning on the cold glass beside the phone.
"Alright. So what's up then?"
"I don't know." I sigh. "I really like this guy. He's so nice. He's sensitive, he's spontaneous, he's talented and such a deep person underneath all that insecurity. He's been hurt but that just draws me in. I want to know him. I want to know what inspires him. I want to know what makes him smile. I want to be that reason. I … I'm getting ahead of myself right? I've been hanging out with him like every day for the last week and I've looked forward to every second. He makes my heart pound… I just… please tell me to think this through. Tell me I'm being an idiot. Tell me that I need to reign it in because I've just met this guy, I don't really know him and any moments there might be between us is just… me thinking too much into things. He's awkward, he probably doesn't really know what this is, same as me. There's no point getting my hopes up and letting myself fall head over heels for a guy I barely know."
He's silent… and I hate it… because every second that passes makes me want to squeal with excitement for just knowing Atem! I don't care if I hardly know him - I want to know him more. I want to know him. And I want him to know me.
"Are you sure you want me to-"
"No! I want to get to know him!" I whine loudly. I pout and grab my shampoo. I should get out soon. "I don't care if I hardly know him, I want to. He makes me feel so good. He's unbelievably sweet and so supportive and gentle and earlier… at the beach and just before he left … I wonder what might have happened had I made a move. He was caught in his eyes and I just… wanted to swim in them."
God what the hell is wrong with me? I'm such a romantic.
"Okay. I can hear how happy you are and honestly it's so nice to hear. You're usually a font of optimism but I've never heard you gush about someone like this. You've definitely got it bad for this guy. But you are right as well. You barely know him. I want to support your relationship going forward, I'm going to cheer the loudest for you - but I do want you to be careful. He seemed really nice and harmless really, but see how you feel after a few weeks before you jump into anything serious, alright?"
I hear him. I do. And honestly I asked for this. He's right. I know he is. But God do I want to ignore that advice and jump into it head on.
"Yeah…" I sigh and let the water wash over my head and rinse through my hair. "One sec I'm washing my hair, can't hear."
He's right though. I need some self control. He's shy, I don't know if he's actually interested or not. There was definitely a moment at the beach. A moment I can't ignore. And there was a moment at my door -but he moved to hug me, not kiss me. Maybe I am looking too far into this.
When my hairs all done and I can see again I turn off the shower, collect a towel to dry off and grab my phone.
"Okay I'm back."
"So, tell me more about this guy. You said you met him at one of the clubs you play at."
"Yeah." I sigh happily. "He was so awkward I thought I really pissed him off. But it turns out he was just really shy and didn't know what else to say."
"That's pretty cute."
I laugh. "Yeah. He's actually pretty adorable. He's nervous showing people what he draws but he's really good at it."
"You said that before. I'd love to see his work."
I set down my phone briefly to wrap a towel around my waist and head out to the kitchen. A water will be fine for now. "He gave me one of his artbooks. I can ask if he minds me taking some photos to show you later." I offer lightly. Any excuse to start a conversation with him.
"I'd love that, thanks."
I fall onto my couch lazily, letting my hand and leg hang off the edge. "I've never felt this way before…"
"You seem to be bitten by the love bug. And hard." He says warmly. I really have.
"What do I do about it? Just keep hanging out with him and getting to know him? Should I test the waters a bit? What if he's not actually interested. I mean he might be straight for all I know. Can I just ask? Would that be rude or on the nose? What if it makes him uncomfortable that I'm into men? I mean… I know its more accepted these day but there's still a lot of people that hate it, and some even more that you wouldn't even know."
"Does he give you that vibe?"
…"No. He touched my cheek before and I swear he might have kissed me had a wave not wiped us out. And then at my door… we hugged goodbye but it wasn't a quick friendly one. I wanted so much for him to kiss me and he seemed to be waiting for something too…"
"Oh wow you didn't mention that before."
"I tried to… you were laughing at me." I say boredly and he laughs.
"Oh right. Sorry. Well, look I can't speak for every straight, but generally straight men don't do that with other men… unless they're confused and closeted. Or very comfortable with their sexuality."
Closeted… "Well I guess I have no way of knowing what he wants until I ask or get to know him better huh?"
"Yeah. If you feel comfortable enough just ask him outright, I don't think there'd be any harm in that. If he is straight and a phobe then at least you know before you fall too hard. But if he's not a phobe and open to it, you got a shot, right? Or… just see how it goes. Let him make a move maybe?"
Let him make a move… yeah okay. I can tempt him, I can flirt with him. I can test the waters and see how he reacts. If he makes a move then I can nab him up.
"Alright. That's helpful, thank you."
"You're welcome. Just, remember what I said. Be careful okay?"
"Be careful of falling too hard? Because Ryou, he makes me feel incredible. Do you know how tempted I am to text him right now and ask him out? I want to see him again and it's been barely half an hour…" I sigh longingly, dramatically sliding further down the couch with my arm over my eyes.
He laughs at me. "Damn you have it bad boy. Look, you do you - just tell me all the gos later. And ask him for those photos too."
"I will. Thank you for listening to me ramble."
"You're welcome, any time mate."
With that I hang up the phone and chew on the corner, staring widely up at my dull ceiling.
I wonder if he'd be home yet. It's been like… 45 minutes. He'd be home right? Would it be too soon to text? Should I wait a bit? I suppose I could leave it for another half hour. Then I might not seem so desperate.
Oh but then if I'm asking him if I can show Ryou his drawings… that wouldn't be too clingy would it?
He might not even check right away. That might be best… maybe.
But then what if he wants to text me? He did ask if he could.
Okay, man up. Just send a text, go find something for dinner and come back. Nice and casual.
Atem
I sigh softly to myself when my door closes and tiredly trudge back to my lonely living room. Ankha has curled up on her cat stand and is completely unaware or uncaring that Mahad and Manah are gone.
It's quiet now. I don't miss them yet, like I am grateful they stayed with me, cheered me up and whatnot, but I am happy for the reprieve of playing host.
Still… the hell do I do now?
God what do I do now?
I was doing so well forgetting about my money issues and now I have more than I had yesterday, but I'm more depressed than ever with the realisation that I am ultimately fucked.
I run my hands through my hair with an annoyed and tired groan. I've got no fucking clue what to do about it all. Kaiba told me to take two weeks off to settle my shit but I need so much to secure my near future and I can't ask for a raise. Like he'd give me one even if I were over achieving.
God…
Tiredly I make my way over to the couch and dive across the armrest to land heavily on the cushions. My phone is close enough for me to drag over and I pointlessly unlock it.
I stare at the message received longer than I should until I realise it's from Yugi - about 3 hours ago.
Damn.
Quickly I read it and sigh softly. I miss him. I miss his smile and smooth voice. I wonder what he'd say right now. What optimistic and naive words would he choose to ease my burdens and take my mind away?
He's asking if he can show one of his friends the pictures in the artbook I gave him. I smile sweetly and respond with a simple approval, followed by a small apology for not responding sooner.
He may not even see it. He may have found something else to delve into. But it's there.
What now?
I'm bored, deflated and I don't want to sleep. I kind of do but I just - I can't be fucked waking up tomorrow.
I scratch my head and breathe deeply. I feel like a damned drink. I haven't had anything to drink in ages. It's times like this I'd put on some trash TV and drink til I sleep. But I haven't had the money to waste and this past week I haven't really desired it. But right now - I could really wet my throat with something strong.
I lick my lips in response of being suddenly very aware of how thirsty I am. Not for water, not for whatever weak ass shit is in my kitchen - I need a beer, some brandy, a whiskey - something to kick the edge back into me and shove the depression aside for a few minutes.
I have 300 more than I had… if I'm fucked anyway I might as well enjoy myself. Better of dead and happy than dead and poor.
Yugi
I'm awoken rudely to the sharp chiming of my phone beside my head. It startles me awake that I almost choke on my heart, but the light of my screen and familiar tune quickly pulls me back down to reality. My heart is still pounding and my eyes are stinging. I'm blinded by how bright my phone is because once again I have forgotten to turn the brightness down. I barely see the name before I answer it, just to shut it up and get rid of the bright light.
"Hello?" I answer groggily. I rub my eyes and they hurt but it feels good. A yawn takes me.
"Heyy! What are you up to?"
Who is that?
"Sleeping…" I say boredly. Who the hell is calling me at … 3:30? The fuck…
"Oh sorry. I … I missed you and wanted to hear your voice."
"Who is this?" I ask annoyedly. I recognise the voice a bit now… but I can't be sure. The phone's too bright for me to want to check again. "Atem?"
"Yeah! Hey, um… I'm near your place. I think. Wanna hang? Or hug? I'd love a hug!"
What? I laugh at that and blink at my screen. It does say his name. "Are you drunk?"
"No! I've been drunk than this."
I raise my brows in amusement. "More drunk than this?" I correct him and he starts laughing. He's smashed.
"Yeah okay, if your up for it."
Okay I better make sure he's fine. "Are you with anyone?"
"No. There were some lovely people at the bar but they got lost and now I'm alone and bored and I really wanted to hear your body and hug your voice."
It takes a great deal of control to not laugh at that. The thought of him stumbling around drunk off his face is hilarious but also quite concerning. "Where did you say you were?"
"Ionno. Um… I'm outside a street of houses that look like yours."
"You are beyond helpful." I say, swinging my legs off the bed and stretching.
"Thank you!"
"Can you see a street name?"
"Nnnnnooo. But you live at 307 right?"
I frown and I'm about to correct him when I hear knocking on a door. Not my door - from wherever he is.
"Atem are you door knocking?"
"Yes, let me in. I want to cuddle."
"Fuck me, Atem I don't live at 307. Walk away. Just walk away. I'm going to come get you."
I quickly get up and search one handed for anything to wear. A loose pair of trackpants is first to awkwardly slip on.
"But I thought -"
"I live at 109 Atem, you're way off."
"OHHHHHH! I live at 307. Hahahaha."
I pause, half about to crack up and half about to smack my own face. "You live in my street?"
"No. I live in an apartment complex. Lots of stairs. Too many stairs. The person who invented stairs should have invented the elevator."
…"I don't think elevators were possible back then." I say, finding the first shirt I can to slip on.
"Well no, thats why they needed inventing. See if it doesn't exist it needs to exist. That is why one day I'm going to invent like a game where we can all play together and it will be a lot of fun and revolutionary and then we can all be friends and have fun."
I love this. I truly do. But god do I need to find him. He's going to make friends with a car at this rate.
"Okay, Atem. Where are you? I'm getting ready to leave and come get you."
"YOU ARE! YAY! Then I'll get to hold you!"
It's… quite endearing how affectionate he is while drunk, I'll say that much.
"Yes, but I need you to stay where you are so I don't lose you."
"You won't lose me, I'm right here."
I laugh, fetching my wallet and keys and quickly slipping on my shoes. The three hundreds aren't too far thankfully. He did well to make it here on his own honestly. "Okay I've left, I'm coming to you."
"Oh I haven't heard that in a while."
I pause for half a second and mind stumbles on that for longer than I'd like. "W-what?"
"I haven't felt the warmth of another in such a long fucking time. You must get loads being a talented and hot musician, right?"
Is he… seriously asking me this? "We're thinking the same thing right?"
"Sex?"
Well fuck me. Um… I didn't expect to have this kind of conversation out of the blue.
"I miss sex." He sighs longingly. "I miss being happy. Waking up, being inspired to make something great, coming home and spending time with people I fucking love and going to bed feeling fucking fulfilled."
This seems like a deeper conversation than he should be having alone right now. I quicken my pace to a steady jog. I'm so not used to running much but I'd much rather get to him now than later.
"But no. My bleeding heart had to bleed too much and now - fuck what have I got? Half the fucking city breathing down my neck and no one to fucking touch me."
"Atem…" I say sadly. I don't know what else to say. I'd rather be there than listen to this on the phone.
"I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear this. I'm so damn lonely… and I really miss your company. I miss you. You've made me happier this past week than I've been for months. I forgot what smiling felt like until you came into my life."
"I didn't do anything At-"
"You did. You really did."
I don't know what to say. "I… I'm in the 200's now I won't be too long."
I slow down to catch my breath. My heart is burning and my legs hate this. I kind of wish I had asked him to meet me half way.
He's silent though and it's worrying. Why did he go quiet. "Atem?"
"Mm?"
"You okay pal?" I ask warily.
"I don't know. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm tired of going home. I'm tired of waking up. I'm tired of nothing changing. I'm tired of my brothers problems. I'm tired of my own. I'm tired of being a problem to everyone. I just - I want to escape forever and I can't. I can't run from this and I don't know what else to do. I feel like I can't do anything because everything I do is the wrong thing."
This is heavy. I need to find him now. "Can you start coming to me? Start walking towards the 200's?"
"I am… slowly."
"Oh good."
"I'm sorry I called you out so late. You must have been sleeping."
"I-I was… but it's fine. Really." I say warmly. I do not need him feeling guilty for this too.
"You're so kind. Has anyone ever told you how bright a soul you are?"
Bright? "Uhh no, I can't say they have." I say with a shy little laugh.
"Hmmm. They should. You're great. You're kind and honest and down to earth and so light spirited. I've never met someone like you before. You remind me of what happiness feels make me feel young again and incredible and inspired. I miss you."
"I'm almost there." I say though I am truly bubbling and trying so hard not to squeal with pure excitement. I love every word he just said about me. I don't even care if he's drunk, it makes me feel so good hearing that.
I listen to more of his ramblings about how much fun he's had this past week and in no time at all I find him slowly stumbling along the path.
"I see you." I say happily and he stops. I wave at him but he just sort of stares ahead.
"Is that you?"
"Yeah!" I pick up my pace to a sprint and I hear him laugh.
"You're so beautiful."
The fuck did he say?!
I almost trip over and choke on the air that assaults my lungs. I have to stop for a moment to wrap my head around that. Surely he didn't.
"You okay?" He asks and I swallow hard, wetting my lips and clearing my throat. I need to get a hold of myself. I cannot stumble now. He's drunk off his face and likely won't remember this if he's that drunk.
"Yup, just not used to running." I say forcefully and he laughs.
"Same. I hate running."
I smile and briskly walk the rest of the way. I wave at him when we're close enough and curiously I watch him tilt his head towards the phone. I'm close enough to hear him speak but still he winks at me.
"I have to go, there's a cutie in front of me."
I laugh at that and he hangs up the phone. He's so smug and proud and I kind of love that.
Who am I kidding? I fucking adore it! He called me cute! He called me beautiful! He's been singing my praises for the past several long minutes and now he's grinning before me.
Though he's looked better. His clothes are loosely hanging off him, the front of his shirt is damp with something that's been spilled, his hair's a mess, his cheek is slightly swollen with a dried stream of blood at a small cut just under his eye, and he's sweating. He's definitely seen much better days. Poor thing got wasted tonight.
"What happened to you?" I ask him, sighing and moving to check on the cut. It's small and right on the cheekbone. It's superficial though and won't take long to heal. A few days maybe. But he should get some ice on that.
"I was bored, depressed and greatly desired a drink and there was no one there to stop me. I was unattended and left alone unsupervised with money I should not have spent."
He admit this rather well but in the next moment he's draping himself over me and he's surprisingly heavy. I have to hold him up by his chest while his arms are wrapping around my neck and his face is nuzzling deep into me. "Woah, okay. Hang on. Let me - let me just -"
I try to maneuvre him in a way that is easier on both of us but he's not making it easy. He wants to cuddle me to the ground and I'm okay with that, but I'd rather cuddle him somewhere that if he falls asleep then it's safe.
"Lets… lets go home."
"Mine or yours?" He asks me rather seductively. There's a certain suggestiveness to his voice that sets my cheeks ablaze. I shake it off as best as I can, firmly telling myself that he is drunk. Completely. Drunk.
"Um… mine is closer…"
"Hmmm. I want to feel close to you Yugi." He breathes down my neck and it's fucking hot… this isn't a good idea.
I can't do this alone. "Um… d-do you have like a friend or someone who might be able to help me?"
"Help you with what?" I can feel his lips against my neck and fuck is it arousing. I feel my body stirring and it's worse when he steps closer to me. I step back and I try to push him off and move him in a way that will make walking easier and limit his access to my neck.
"Getting you … sober."
He clicks his tongue and sighs but like that any attempt to seduce me is regrettably shifted. "Mahad will kill me."
"Where does he live?"
It took a great deal of convincing and patience, but eventually I managed to walk him to Mahad's house.
He lives two blocks away but thankfully walking at a steady pace meant it wasn't that hard a walk. Carrying a drunk Atem on your shoulders while he rambles about every topic under the sun isn't the easiest, but it's much easier than enduring his attempts at seduction. Which I would be fine with - were he not drunk, or if I knew exactly what he did want when sober.
On the way Atem told me about Mahad. He's his childhood friend and is married to a girl named Manah who is also a childhood friend, and they've stood by him through a great deal of stuff. He told me about his brother and how he owes him money and that lead to him spending the money he got tonight on as much booze as he could afford… which honestly isn't great. Poor thing is so stressed out and when he sobers up he's going to regret it all.
But that is a tomorrow problem - and I'll be damned if he's going through it alone.
He's getting tired now though. His rambling has slowed and he's getting heavier and slower. I see the house though. He pointed it out. I just hope it is actually Mahad's house and not some random persons door I'll be knocking on.
I've never met Mahad. So imagine both of our awkwardness when he tiredly opens his door at 4:30 in the morning to a stranger carrying his drunken best friend.
"Hello. I believe he belongs to you." I say exasperatedly and desperately hoping he will take him off my shoulders soon.