A/N: This one tilted a bit to the more angsty side. I promise to get back to the happy feels in the next chapter. This one isn't too bad though :)
Yugi
To say that this morning is awkward is a massive understatement.
Mahad, who is a very tall and imposing man, is actually quite hospitable. However I was - and still am - a stranger in his house at an absurd time in the morning. With his drunk off his face best friend - who is now dead to the world on his couch…
He was very patient and eager to help rid him off me and allowed me to help him into his home. After settling Atem down on the couch - which we really just threw him onto it and he fell asleep immediately - he offered me a drink and introduced himself.
He recognised me as Mao at first which surprised me. I didn't realise both of them were fans somewhat, but I clarified and he understood that I was in fact the very same person Atem had spoken so fondly of.
I'm embarrassed that Atem had mentioned me to his friends… but then I've gushed about him to mine too. To say that my hopes are up would be accurate as fuck. It's kind of because of that and everything else he said tonight that had made me want to stay with him until he wakes. Thankfully Mahad is kind enough to offer his spare room for me.
He could have sent me home and that would be perfectly reasonable. He doesn't know me and it's horridly early in the morning. I've done my duty of making sure Atem is safe - so it would make sense I'd go home and get some sleep. But I graciously accepted his offer and chose to cuddle up with a blanket on the recliner near Atem.
But now the sun has risen and so have we. My eyes are stinging and I feel drained of energy. I more or less rested than slept and I think Mahad did too.
Manah, his wife, slept through it all and is the only one of us wide awake and alert. Mahad must have told her what happened as she wasn't terribly surprised to see us when she came out dressed in a light blue silk gown.
She's a lovely woman. Bronzed complexion like Mahad and Atem, dark dark brown hair and beautiful dark blue eyes. She looks so soft and youthful, even as she shyly sits nearby with her hands in her lap, her knees bouncing happily and her wide eyes glancing between me, Atem and everything else.
We haven't spoken much. I'm not sure what to say and nor does she it seems. Mahad is in the kitchen and from here I can smell bacon and hear it crackling. It smells delicious. I haven't had bacon in a while.
I know he went to bed smashed. I know he had a lot to drink. But I really hope he wakes up soon. I don't mind waiting for him to come to on his own, but it's still so awkward being here while he's asleep. I'm sure his friends are lovely - they've been nothing but so far, but it is so weird.
"So … sorry for him." Manah says eventually and I shake my head at her.
"It's okay. It's um… I've done this kind of thing for my friends too." I laugh awkwardly. I wish I could say that was a lie… but honestly the amount of times I've cared for Joey or Tristan… and I've not exactly been alcohol free either…
"You're very kind to bring him here. So… he was coherent enough to tell you where to go?" She asks. I'm grateful she's trying to strike conversation even if Mahad would have been over this with her earlier.
"Yeah. I'm just really relieved he got the address right. He was knocking on other doors before we met up thinking they were mine…" I saw shyly. I feel guilty for admitting that: almost as if I'm getting him in trouble.
I don't know what kind of look Manah gave her husband behind me but I don't think Atem is in his good books. I just hope he's not in too much trouble.
I don't know exactly what is going on in his life. What he was saying last night didn't make a lot of sense. It was all fragmented and out of context … but it didn't sound good. Whatever is going on I think he needed the night out. Just a shame he did it alone. If I'd known he was going to go drinking I'd have gone with him…
She sighs softly and visibly relaxes. Her knees stop bouncing and her expression softens. "Has he told you much of what's been going on?"
I should be honest here. As curious as I am, it is his business to share. "Not exactly. He told me yesterday that he's got a lot going on but he said I shouldn't have to deal with it too. But then last night he was rambling on about debt? And something about his brother? It didn't really make a lot of sense …"
She nods slowly and I hear shuffling in the kitchen. The sound of dishes being plated. Breakfast must be ready.
At the sound as she stands and I don't really know what else to do but follow her. Mahad moving things around and breakfast looks delicious. There are four plates and each have 2 eggs, a good portion of baked beans and he's playing up some bacon for us all. Atem isn't awake yet though, he's still softly snoring on the couch.
"Atem…" Mahad starts quietly. "Is going through a particularly rough time. I don't know if he'll tell you or not, but I think he'd understand if you didn't want to get involved."
"I'm happy to get involved." I say quickly and they both give me this strange, amused and quizzical look. I get it… I shouldn't be that excited to say that. "I mean… I really like him. I haven't known him for that long but I know what it's like to suffer alone… N-not that he is alone! Because he's got wonderful friends like you! Uhh… I have a lot of fun hanging out with him and I really enjoy his company. If he's going through a hard time, then I'd like to be there for him if I can. And if he doesn't want to involve me, then I still want to be his friend."
I'd understand if he doesn't want to tell me because we barely know one another and its not my business to get involved… but I do hope he'll let me try to help. Even if it's just a distraction.
Mahad gives me a soft smile and a nod. I don't know what it means but he seems satisfied as he walks around the counter. Manah gives me a bright smile and together we watch as Mahad inspects Atem. He peers at him closely before he grimaces and searches the room. He picks up a cushion and tosses it in the air making it spin before he catches it.
Then he pegs it Atem at an alarming speed. "WAKE UP SUNSHINE!" He shouts.
I hear Atem gasp and groan and see his arm and leg spread in the air in shock. Manah is laughing into her hand and I biting my finger to stop myself. I shouldn't laugh. The poor guy must be exhausted but it is very funny.
"Mahad!" Atem groans loudly, his voice thick with sleep.
"Get off my couch and eat the breakfast I made for you." Mahad says sternly, pulling his friend up by his arm.
Atem isn't resisting but he's not willing either. He sits up and I see him bury his head into his hands. I wonder if he gets hangovers. Poor thing could do with some water I think.
"May I bring him some water?" I ask Manah politely.
"Of course!" She says happily and bounces around to find a glass.
"Let him get it himself." Mahad says loudly, scruffing Atem's already messy hair as he comes back towards us.
Manah ignores him and fills a glass for me and I happily take it over to him.
I'm obvious in my movements and give him a wide enough birth. I'm not sure he knows I'm here and I don't want to startle him. "Here." I say gently.
He looks up and blinks several times from the blinding light. He squints at me curiously as he slowly reaches for the glass. "Yugi?"
I smile warmly and give him a bright smile, kneeling before him closer. "Yeah. Good morning." I say happily.
He looks at me as if he's trying to figure out if he's awake or still asleep. I'm patient. He'll connect the dots in a -
"Fuck!"
… moment.
He groans and leans back, tossing his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. He doesn't look too happy… I guess he realises he was drunk last night. I honestly don't mind though.
"Come lament over breakfast." Mahad says, his voice a touch warmer now. I glance over at them to see them both disappear into another room. I assume its the dining. I feel bad leaving without him so I wait patiently, but stand in the hopes of dragging him along.
He looks at me sadly and sighs heavily. "I made a complete ass of myself last night didn't I?"
I giggle softly and offer him a hand up, which he looks at for a hot minute before he takes it. "I wouldn't go that far."
He groans but follows me slowly. I notice he's stumbling a little, using the couch for balance. I hang back in case he needs it but he seems to manage fine. He holds his head the whole way but he doesn't seem to be too dizzy.
Their dining room is cute. It's a decently sized round table by a window and I see outside is going to be a pretty lovely day. Cloudless and sunny, but the morning itself is fairly brisk.
It's bright for Atem though as he flinches from it and hides his eyes behind his hands.
I sit beside him, biting my lip to stop from smiling too much.
"Have a good night last night?" Mahad asks, his voice thick with amusement to which Atem only sighs.
"I don't know…" He mumbles.
I wait patiently for any indication that we are allowed to eat. I find it rude to start until my hosts do. Thankfully Manah laughs and begins to dig in, and Mahad follows soon after. I'm eager to eat. It smells delicious! Atem pokes at it with his fork but he looks like he's struggling.
"How did I get here?" He asks quietly.
"You don't remember bumping into Yugi last night?" Mahad asks, raising his brow at him.
"No…" He says grumpily.
I'm glad I'm eating because the pang of disappointment is sharp. If he doesn't remember that then… does he not remember all the things he said to me? Does… does it matter if I stayed here with him or not?
"Well I don't know what else you got up to last night but you dragged him out of bed and he brought you here." Mahad says, but I feel bad for Atem because he put it that way. He looks guilty enough.
"It's alright though." I say quickly in the hopes of getting in before Atem or anyone else can make him feel worse. "I was happy to come out with you."
"I'm sorry. I honestly don't remember doing that. What time was this?"
"You got here at 4:30…" Mahad says drolly.
"Fuck…" Atem's entire body sinks. I feel so bad for him. Maybe this whole thing wasn't a great idea for him. I mean getting this drunk is fine with friends but it seems he really regrets this. I reach over to him to move his hair out of his food and he slowly sits back up. He gives me a sorrowful smile and continues moving his food around.
"You know, food doesn't magically get eaten by moving it around." Manah says joyfully, smiling brightly at him. His lips twitch with a grin of his own and he quietly takes a single bite of egg.
"Try not to worry about him too much." Mahad says to me. "This happens more often than you'd think."
"Yeah but I normally remember shit…" He pauses for a moment and we eat in silence until he curses suddenly. "Fuck, how much did I spend?"
He gets up quickly and heads out. I look after him but he disappears quickly.
I'm not sure if I should follow or stay… I decide to stay but I'm listening intently.
I hear nothing for a while, but then it sounds like he's running, then a door slams and a moment later I hear the faint noises of retching.
Guess that was to be expected too…
Manah and Mahad both sigh and hang their heads, then Manah politely excuses herself and takes Atem's glass of water with her.
"Does he normally drink this much?" I ask Mahad quietly.
"Sometimes. He… combats stress with alcohol."
My lips form a line and I politely stab a piece of bacon. "Not the healthiest of bed buddies." I note and Mahad nods in agreement.
"Not at all."
We eat in relative silence. It's not easy honestly. Listening to Atem in the bathroom and nothing else to drown it out but the sharp clicks of cutlery on plates… I have no idea what to say.
I want to talk about Atem. But I don't really know what to ask or to ask it. I get the feeling Mahad is protecting him and I get that. He doesn't know me…
Then… Atem doesn't even remember seeing me last night. All the things he said… I can't get them out of my head and yet he remembers none of it. He doesn't even seem happy I'm here. Not that I stayed for his gratitude or anything but … I don't know. A thank you might be nice when he's done throwing up…
Maybe I shouldn't be here. Maybe I should have gone home last night and let his friends handle him. They seem used to him doing this. I had no idea he drinks like this. There was no indication. I've never seen him have a single drink, not even at the bar. It's always been water.
Maybe… maybe Ryou is right and I should be more careful. I don't doubt the person I was getting to know, and I don't really have an issue with drinking. I work at clubs, I'm around drunks all the time… but if he can go from sweet, sober and balanced to blind drunk on a whim… I don't know.
It's too early to make any decisions but I think I'm right to be concerned. Perhaps when he's sobered up and gotten his head on straight he can tell me what happened. If this happens a lot, if it's something I should expect as his friend.
"You must be exhausted." Mahad says finally, snapping me out of my thoughts and back into his dining room.
Am I tired? I feel kinda thin… "Yeah, a bit. Less than I thought but I think I'm just worried about him." I say shyly.
His smile is sympathetic and we're finished with breakfast now. He pushes his plate away and breathes the scent of his coffee. "He's a special one. But I promise he's in good care with us."
I nod quietly and sigh to myself. Maybe I should take this chance to go…
"Maybe I should go home and get some rest." I say quietly. My eyes are prickling… God this is dumb. This isn't about me, c'mon Yugi. Get a hold of yourself.
"I can drive you, if you like." He offers kindly but like that my mind is made.
"Oh no, that's okay. You've made me a delicious breakfast and I'm really not that far." I say quickly, standing and gathering my plate. "Um… I can wash -"
"Leave that, it's fine." He says warmly, standing with me and taking the dishes from me.
I smile sweetly and I feel so awkward. Atem's quiet in the bathroom now but I hardly think ready to come out. In a way… I think it'd be best for me to leave before he does. He's got a lot to deal with and… I need think about all this.
"Thank you for letting me stay here. And for breakfast. And, um… could you tell Atem that I hope he feels better soon and if it's not too much trouble just text me later … to let me know he's okay."
"Of course." He smiles, following me back into the kitchen.
I hurriedly gather my things from the coffee table and swiftly but quietly glide through the house to get my shoes. I'd like to go before Atem can stop me, or else it'll just be harder to leave. I'll gladly stay if he wants me here but… I don't know. I feel I've made a mistake reading too far into everything. I really need to get my head on straight before I delve too far down a road that leads nowhere.
"Yugi." Mahad says to me once I'm about to leave, shoes on and ready. I turn to him, half out the door and he politely stands near by. "Thank you for looking after him. He's been… I can't say much. He's in a very tough situation and frankly we've been worried sick about him. I don't know what you said or what you did this week with him, but I've not seen him smile like he does when he talks about you. So… thank you. Not just for making sure he got here safely but for whatever you've done this week."
…I… I don't know what to say. Now what the hell do I do?
I shake my head and smile back. I can't just go back inside now. I need to go. The fresh air will help clear my head. "No problem. I hope he feels better and you're able to get some rest too."
With that I wave him goodbye and hurried back onto the street.
It's fresh this morning so I wrap my arms around me and keep my head down. It's weird walking around the streets this early in the morning. The sun is still rising and hardly anyone is awake. There's some cars driving past me on their way to work. I'm glad I'm not working today, I'm not exactly in the mood to be dealing with anyone.
I have no idea what I'm thinking anymore. I was so happy to be getting to know Atem. He's this hot stranger that came out of no where and showers me in encouragement, he loves my work and the way he looks at me makes my insides turn and tumble. He says such lovely things and the way he touches me…
Oh the way he touched me… I can still feel the way his lips ghosted my neck last night, and the way he spoke… 'I want to be close to you…' Fuck.
But he doesn't remember anything. I get he was drunk but … nothing? How much did he drink last night? Does that mean it… meant nothing?
'I miss sex.'
He said that so longingly too. Maybe he was just… touch starved. He's hinted at having been recently made single, maybe he's just looking for someone to touch him.
But he wouldn't play me like that would he? If he was doing that wouldn't he be more forward? He's not once tried to hit on me…
Maybe I'm not his type. I'm not the hottest guy out there but the way he looks at me and the things he's said - how can I not feel attracted to that? Or at least think he might be…
God. Am I an idiot? I'm an idiot aren't I? Getting so worked up over a stranger I barely know. He's nice, he's so kind and everything he says is so … lovely… but nothing he said last night means anything if he's too drunk to remember it…
Not too mention, if it all comes from a place that's not in his heart….
I'm too much of a romantic. A stupid, hopeless romantic. Like I would find something meaningful out of nothing just like that. I need to reign myself in before dig myself a hole I can't get out of.
Atem
I wake groggily in desperate need of water and a strong desire for a shower. I feel claustrophobic in these hot clothes and a strange awareness that wherever I am, I'm not at home.
I groan and with some effort lift myself up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and stretching my aching body. I'm glad the headache is gone. I feel tired but I'm certain that's just an immediate need for water.
"Hey, you're awake." Manah's voice is soft near me and I blink a few times until my surroundings focus.
I've been sleeping on their couch it seems and the day has well and truly passed. It's a cool blue outside but the lights in the living room are off. Only Manah is here, curled on the armchair with a blanket and a book. The TV is on and set to low.
I'm a little bit confused, but mostly just astonished that I slept for the whole day. "Hey."
She smiles, setting her book down and sitting up to better look at me. "How are you feeling?"
I try to wet my lips a few times but I'm just so thirsty. "Thirsty. May I have some water?"
"Of course. Come on." She nods her head and happily hops off, looking back over her shoulder to make sure I'm following. I get around to it, slowly.
Things are coming back to me with every step. Something about bacon… and Yugi. "Was Yugi here or am I tripping?"
"He was here. He brought you here last night." She says softly. I wait patiently as she pours a glass from the sink and hands it to me. "Do you remember much?"
I frown in thought, nursing the water at first before downing the entire thing. It's not enough… which is a good sign. Politely I move in to pour some more. "It's coming back…"
As is the dread. If Yugi brought me here that means I drunkenly got him out of bed and likely made a complete ass of myself. "Was he mad?"
"He was worried." Manah offered. "He's really sweet. You didn't mention he was adorable."
"Adorable?" I ask with a laugh and decide to hide the heat in my cheeks with my glass.
"Yeah. He's like a panda. You told us he was a musician and I thought he'd be… edgier? Tattoo's, piercings, dirty clothing… But he's so soft and shy and kind."
She's describing him exactly. He really is something else.
"He likes you a lot."
I spit my water back into my glass and try to stop myself from dying. "What does that mean?"
"What?! He likes you. Like… a lot. He was so worried about you that he stayed with you all night."
He stayed with me… I should thank him. Hopefully I didn't do anything stupid.
"Why did you go out drinking? I thought we agreed you wouldn't without company."
I sigh and lean against the counter.
"I wasn't planning it. I promise. I just… when you guys left I looked around and I just… didn't want to be there. It was an impulse… a stupid decision."
She sighs and gives my arm a little squeeze, looking at me sympathetically. "I'm hopeless, aren't I?" I ask sadly and resort to leaning my head on her shoulder. She pats my hair and I feel her cheek press against me.
"A little bit, but for good reason. You've been through so much lately, coping with it all is hard."
"I spent almost all of my money." I groan in defeat.
"We'll get through this together. Mahad's been coming up with some ideas for you and I think it would be a really good idea for you to consider letting us help you with them."
They've been pushing this a while… honestly at this point what pride do I have left? I'm too tired to do anything on my own but I can't keep living like this. "Okay…"
A small gasp leaves her lips but then she tightens her hold on me slightly. "Thank you." She takes a deep breath and then moves to face me with more energy. "Mahad has gone to feed Ankha and give her her medicine. He shouldn't be too long. He'll be coming home with dinner. Why not go freshen up?"
I agree with her. A shower will be good. "I will."
"I'll go get your clothes." She says happily and bounces out of the room to fetch the spare clothes I keep here.
I'm so grateful for them. I don't know what I'd do without them or where I'd be…
I really need to do something good here. For them at least.
And I should apologise to Yugi. He didn't need to see me like that and it was not okay for me to drag him out of home so early in the morning.
The next day I ventured out with Mahad in full force. Our first stop was my own place so I could change and see Ankha. Together I pulled up everything I owe as well as anything I had saved. Thankfully I wasn't a complete idiot and only took the 300 Akefia gave me. So I still have 100 until next week when this month's pay comes through.
I pace behind the couch, cuddling Qnkha against her will while Mahad combs through my expenses. I've been over it all and million times and I know where I can save money I - it's just hard.
Anxiety is heavy in my stomach. I feel light on my feet and dizzy, but if I stop I'll crumble. I need to keep moving. But how long is he going to stare at my screen?
"Tea's taking her share, huh?" He says finally but more in thought than to me. I grimace because that's a subject I hoped not to share. Even with him.
"The legal fees are hefty too." I mumble quietly.
"She's not asking for more than she's entitled which is good, but that's still quite the amount."
I'm silent and he continues scrolling. He'll reach my other debts soon…
"Atem…"
There we go.
"You didn't tell me you lost… 40 grand? At the Waterhouse?!"
I wince from the astonishment in his voice. He turns to face me and I hide my face in Ankha's fur.
"I know you enjoyed a game or two but that much?"
"I was on a winning streak…" I say quietly.
"Haven't you ever heard of quitting while you're ahead?"
"I could have doubled my earnings, I had a great hand -"
"You're out almost a 3rd of your salary."
"I know!" I snap in desperation for him to stop reminding me. I let Ankha go and hold my arms around me for protection. I can't stand his disappointment in me…
He sighs and I just want to run. Go bury myself somewhere where I can't be found, where I can't disappointment anyone…
"I'm sorry." He says quietly. He gets up and walks to me. I want to walk away but all I can manage is a slight turn away from him. He touches my shoulder gently and pulls me to hold me. I find little solace in hiding but little is more than enough for me right now.
"I'm sorry." He says again. "I didn't realise is all. It's not the end though. You aren't in their debt, so we just have to work our way up from here."
"And what if I screw that up too? Saving money is fine if I don't have half the city coming after it as soon as I get paid." I argue into his chest. My head hurts. I don't want to think anymore.
"You won't. I won't let you for one thing. And you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. If we can direct that strength where you need it -"
"I'm not strong Mahad!" I push away from angrily and take several breaths. "When things get tough I lose myself in games or alcohol. I succame to the ideal of appealing to my older brother for his approval and the manipulation and abuse I suffered from him lost me my wife and is costing me everything else. I can't save money for shit and at this rate I'll lose everything I have left. I am not strong. I am weak. I'm pathetic. I can't do shit right no matter how much I try. I still find myself at the bottom of a bottle or with nothing at the table."
I sigh heavily and let myself fall onto my couch under the realisation that it's hopeless. Even when I get paid next week, how long until I inevitably waste it all.
Mahad comes down and sits beside me. I see him thinking hard on what to say… it's all too much effort wasted on me though.
"You know… it takes a pure heart to endure what you've been through and still want to give." He says quietly and I roll my eyes. "I think, were anyone else in your position they wouldn't last nearly as long."
"In case you forgot, I've tried to end it. You wouldn't let me." I say dryly and the silence that follows is thick.
"I remember. And I remember what I said then and I still believe it now. You're better than that, better than this and you are better than him." He says solemnly.
I scoff at this. I know he's trying, but honestly he can't believe that. How can he? I fail to see any truth in his misplaced beliefs.
"Atem. You know I love you. You're the brother I never had. My family. It pains me to see you so defeated, but I want you to know that no matter if you give up, I will never stop trying to help you. You'd do the same for me, for anyone - I wish you would give yourself the same kindness and determination." He says sadly.
It pains me to know that I'm hurting him… but I can't just stop feeling. "What's the point? I know me. Even if I somehow get out of this mess I'll succumb to the call of losing myself to booze or gambling and my bleeding heart will lead me right back here."
"Well, maybe you just need a hand in discipline? If you let me, I can help you. Manah will too. If you let us, we can help you exercise some control. It's not too late. Others can overcome this and you can too. No one as loyal or warm hearted deserves to go through this alone."
I doubt what good he can do for me. Mostly because I have no faith I can do him any justice. He doesn't deserve to use his energy on me… but I'm so tired. I don't have the energy to stop him or the desire to. "I doubt I'll do you proud."
A warm hand softly touches my back and I glance at him. He smiles sweetly at me and I feel myself walking into a trap. "I know you won't let me down. And I won't either. But I need you to meet me half way, okay? Please?"
Does he have to give me the puppy eyes? Why doesn't he just give up on me already? It'd be so much easier if he just left me like Tea did.
"What do you want to do?" I ask with an impatient shrug.
His smile brightens and he quickly goes back to the laptop. "It looks like you get paid next week. Your electricity bill is due the next day annnnnd your water is due the week after."
"Yes but I have 100 to last me until then. I was really hoping I'd have more before then." I whine tiredly.
"I know but we'll get there. I think you should log into your bank account and let me set up a few savings accounts and automatic deposits."
… that could work…
"I want to also set up a maximum withdrawal too. To stop you from drinking and gaming yourself dry."
I pull my laptop closer and start putting in my details. "I need enough for food and Ankha-"
"You'll be fine. If we just budget right you'll be perfectly fine. I promise."
"I've never been good at budgeting." I mumble quietly, pushing the laptop back for him. He chuckles lightly and touches my knee.
"I know. But you can't over spend if you do it this way." He says strongly.
"And if I need the money for something?"
"... for things like groceries there's ways around it. I just want to minimise your ability to over spend at places you shouldn't. Like the casino or a club."
I nod and watch idly as he navigates to a few pages within my bank's site. "You can do a lot of this online. Or we can go into town and do it at the branch." He mumbles quietly.
"I don't really want them judging me." I sigh and he nods, clicking a few things.
"No problem. Give me a few and I'll have it all set up." He says happily.
I appreciate this… I think… if it's set up in a way I can't control then maybe I can't fuck up. "Can we put a ban on my card so I can't spend at all at the clubs or pokeys?" I ask quietly and he hums in thought.
"I'm not sure. We'd have to go into the branch and ask them that. For the clubs I think we could go to them specifically and ask them not to serve you anything with alcohol in it, if you wanted to go that far."
Hmmm… I don't really. Truthfully I'd rather give up the gambling than the drinking… I spend less on alcohol and alcohol takes me away better than the rush winning does. "I'd rather not." I mutter quietly.
"What if we put a limit on it?"
…"Fine." I say finally, looking away from whatever else he's doing.
"Okay. I've made you a saving's account and you had few dollars already so it's as set up as I can until you get paid. When you do get paid I'd like to make sure that you're automatically depositing a good amount into them and anything left is for you to spend on food, Ankha, whatever else you need to spend on. Next… I want you to call your electric, water and internet providers as well as your landlord. They need to know which account they'll be charging from now on."
"But there's no money in it yet…" I frown in confusion. "Shouldn't I do that once I've been paid?"
"You don't have to, you're just updating your details. But this way it's all done and you won't forget to."
He tosses my phone at me and I catch it with ease. He's right… what a pain.
The rest of my week off wasn't nearly as eventful or fun as the first. I spent most of my days laying in bed and only got up when Manah or Mahad came over to kick me into moving around.
I couldn't bring myself to go and see Yugi at any of the clubs he plays at. I couldn't bring myself to call him. I couldn't even bring myself to text him. I didn't even pick up my pen. I just had no energy for anything. The only thing I managed to do with Mahad's and Manah's help was leave the house once today to go and see my boss.
We talked about me returning to work at the start of the week and how nothing has actually improved. He told me I can return to work on a few conditions, one of them being I get a haircut and shave…
Which is what I'm being forced to endure now. I'm sitting in my bathroom while Manah thins and trims my beard and Mahad stands nearby behind me.
"When was the last time you shaved?" She sighs in frustration. She stands back, her hands on her hips and a huff on her breath before she turns and delves into her bag.
"Tea never complained." I raise a brow at her and grin, but honestly I don't remember.
"Well maybe she should have." Mahah grumbles.
"So Kaiba won't let you back unless you're presentable?" Mahaf asks from behind me.
"Yeah. Something about corporate image. I dunno why it matters. I'll be stuck behind a desk anyway." I shrug my shoulders and Manah returns to me a stronger pair of scissors. She combs out my beard before she begins trimming.
"You are the King of Games. Maybe you should keep up an image." She murmurs and I raise my chin for her.
"I don't need any publicity right now." I say quietly, trying to keep as still as possible.
"Maybe it can't hurt though. I mean if you were to participate in a competition or two, maybe even return little by little to the limelight it might help you stay on track." Mahad suggested.
I hate that idea. Honestly. At the moment I hardly want to be seen, let alone stand in front of cameras and adoring fans wearing fake smiles for their pleasure.
When I don't respond the topic is dropped thankfully, replaced by another. "So what was the other condition for you returning?"
"On the counter out there is a small book I need to read. Memos and such, updates on what I've missed. They did a lot in two weeks and I'm expected to be caught up." I explain.
That's the one thing I am looking forward to somewhat. After dinner tonight I intend to put on trash TV and lose myself in the updates for my game.
I left behind a detailed plan and I'm excited to see how it's all progressing, what's been worked on and how the teams have gone without me. Two weeks isn't a long time, but with a team as dedicated as ours and a book that thick to read - we must be well on our way to showcase something soon.
"Doesn't sound too bad." He says, though I can hear he's not too familiar with whether its a good or bad thing."
I laugh lightly. "No. I'm glad it's just that. Honestly I'm looking forward to getting stuck into it. I need to work on something."
"You do!" Manah says sharply, looking at me sternly to drive in her point.
"Did you get paid today?" Mahad asks.
"I should have. I haven't checked."
I hear him leave and watch Manah as she concentrates.
I haven't been worried about my image in such a long time. Tea never complained about my beard or the length of my hair, and as the stress continued to build I guess I stopped caring too. It's going to be weird to have it all gone. I barely remember what the shape of my face even looks like.
I used to be clean shaven a lot when I was in the limelight. It made me look more youthful, more relatable to our market audience… but as I slowly stepped out and began favouring desk work, as my media presence was less required, I guess I just didn't need to put in as much effort.
It never seemed to bother Kaiba… but I admit the last several months I have completely stopped caring. I can understand why he has made this a requirement to return to work.
"Have you heard from Yugi?" Manah asks me quietly as she works.
It takes me off guard to be suddenly reminded of him. Not that he's been far off my mind. "No?"
She nods and replaces the scissors for an electric razor.
"Why?" I ask her curiously.
"Just wondering. You spent a lot of time with him last week."
I'd nod but not now. I suppose I see why she'd ask.
I wonder what he'll think of me beardles… if I ever pluck up the courage to go apologise.
I have more to be sorry for now. As the days passed I remembered more of that night. The things I spoke to him, how I acted… I was completely inappropriate and way out of line. That's just made it harder to face him or to even open a dialogue. How the hell do I come back from all that?
No… it's better right now to approach him when I'm not so pitiful. When… I can actually offer something in return for his trouble.
A few moments later Mahad returned. "You've been paid and I have transferred everything you need so your bills will be paid tomorrow."
"Thank you." I say gratefully. That is honestly a huge relief. "What's left?"
"I also paid your landlord for the two missed months. You've got eight thousand left."
The math ain't mathing. "Eight thousand?"
"I put a little extra in your savings to start building a nest egg. So this doesn't keep happening." He says the last words firmly and it makes sense now.
So… my bills and rent is finally paid for. Let's see how long that lasts before I inevitably spend it all.
"Now… if I might give you some advice." Mahad says with a touch of attitude to his voice. "Don't tell your brother that you've been paid."
Manah finishes with me and steps back, allowing me to sigh. I know he's right. I honestly don't owe my brother anything and I'm pretty fed up with him asking.
"I'll try." I say quietly.
"Try hard. He's the reason you've been so stressed, the reason you almost lost this house and lost your wife." He says sternly.
"I am quite aware of that." I snap impatiently back at him. I love him but I get it.
Manah holds a small hand mirror to me and my brief irritation is wiped clean by surprise. How long has it been since I saw the outline of my jaw…?
"I left a bit of a shadow on you, do you want me to clean shave you or leave it like that?" Manah asks me happily.
She did a great job. There's no question about that. I pull my hand out from my towel to touch my cheek and map out this new area.
I don't hate it… but it's so different. I barely remember the last time I was like this. I'm just so used to seeing a great big black mop on my face.
Mahad comes over into view and hums happily. "Wow, you look 10 years younger." He muses in approval.
I turn my head, lift it… I think I like it. But … "I like it but let's shave it all."
They smile at me and I feel a rush of excitement. I haven't felt remotely good about my appearance in months. Longer maybe? My appearance was never a big issue for me but when I was a star for my dueling I had some pride I took care of.
She gets to work with a new setting and Mahad leans against the vanity.
Nothing really needs to be said as the buzz of the razor fills the silence. I must admit though, things are looking up I think. I'm cautiously optimistic for the next few weeks.
But I can't shake this feeling of anxiety though. I've been so depressed lately that I just doubt this good fortune will last. Sure my bills are paid, thanks to Mahad I now have a way of budgeting to avoid this kind of ruin again… but the biggest test is how well will it hold when the craving to drink or gamble will hit? And can I deny my brother the next time he comes begging.
Faintly I hear knocking and Manah turns the razor off. When it knocks again Mahad is the one to move to go answer it and Manah finishes me off.
"There." She says happily, bringing the mirror back.
I examine myself with approval, touching the smooth skin that used to be a coarse bush. "Thank you." I say appreciatively.
"You look great! You barely look like you now." She laughs, moving around to put the razor away.
I laugh with her. "Maybe that's why I look great."
She turns to me with a new pair of scissors in hand and a spray bottle. She lightly taps my nose with the blade of the scissors, smirking cheekily. "Or maybe it's because you have me refreshing your look. It's your hair's turn."
She stands behind me and soon she's spritzing me with cold water. It makes me shiver but she keeps spraying until my hair is good and wet.
"Not too much." I reaffirm.
"Just a clean up. I know." She giggles and a moment later I hear the oddly satisfying sound of snipping hair.
I hear voices in the living room, coming closer I think. I wonder who Mahad let in.
I don't have to wonder long as the voice that follows can only be "Is that my brother?"
"Yeah!" Akefia's voice calls out and I sigh quietly. I knew it wouldn't last. What now?
Manah stops and I turn to face him. He and Mahad have just arrived at the doorway and I take some pleasure in seeing Akefia take a step back from seeing me.
"Damn, didn't recognise you." He muses quietly. "About time though bro."
I can't really be bothered right now. "What's up Kef?" I ask boredly.
He glances at Mahad. I know he would prefer to talk in silence but honestly… "Well?" I press him.
He looks uncomfortable but he brings out an envelope and hands it to me. It's thicker than anything I could have expected… and heavier too… what is …?
"Just don't ask where it came from… its… better if you don't know. It was always yours, you never leant it to me."
I frown and peak inside, gasping when I see the wad of cash inside. Hundred dollar bills… one thousand… two… five…
"Kef…"
"I just came to deliver that. I um… really shouldn't stay."
He's eager to leave. Unsteadily so. Last week he struggled to come up with barely five hundred, where the hell did he get fifteen grand from?
He tries to leave but I cannot just let him go right now.
"Kef!" I chase after him, stopping well before he gets to the door. "The hell, where did you get this?"
"I'm not telling. It's best you don't know." He says firmly. So much so I almost falter and leave it at that.
"Tell me you didn't hurt anyone. It was a good sale, that's all."
"I didn't hurt anyone. It was a good sale. That's all." He repeats simply.
"Akefia."
"Atem."
…
What has he done? I've rarely seen this side of authority from him. I'm accustomed to a bumbling idiot, a smooth talker, a loud mouth, hot headed, thrill seeking teen in an adults body… but this is the look of someone I don't want to mess with, the look of someone warning me that if I misstep I'll regret it; this is the look of someone who has most definitely done something dangerous, maybe even foolish… and that is frightening.
"Deposit it slowly. Under one thousand at a time. Just… we're even now." He says, touching my shoulder, but the squeeze seizes my heart. What has he done?
"Be good." He says, slapping my freshly shaven cheek lightly, but even an affectionate touch like that makes my sensitive skin sting.
He leaves quickly after that, leaving me standing here stunned and fifteen grand richer…
I admit I could have done with this last week… but I almost don't want it now. I feel afraid of this money. Because I know what he could have done to get it. Best case scenario it was a score from an excellent sale… worst case … someone got hurt… or worse. Hell he might have stolen it…
"Atem?" Mahad asks carefully.
"I…"
What the hell do I do? What do I do with this? I look to him for answers and he glides over to me. I push the envelope in his hands and take a step away from it.
"He doesn't owe me anymore but… what do I do with that?"
He looks inside and he visibly gasps in surprise. Manah peaks around and squeals.
I should be happy. I should he incredibly relieved. I should want to celebrate with this money, let Mahad control it and have a few celebratory drinks…
But it makes me sick. Sick with fear… where did it come from and what will this mean for my brother?
Akefia… what have you done?