Finally! I am deeply sorry for the long waiting! But since I was moving to an appartment and preparing myself for a travel, it was difficult to find time and motivation to write. Anyway, better late than never!
Chapter 18: Admetus and Alcestis
Delphina experimented the worst emotions ever. Her mental state was devoid of words appropriate to describe it.
Her heart was empty but heavy in her body.
Her face was frozen but wet.
She was calm but screaming inside out.
And out there, a thunderstorm was raging. She couldn't sleep. Every single thunderbolt struck revived the image of Asclepius dying in front of her. She put her hands on her ears to protect herself from this living nightmare but it was useless.
Another thunderbolt louder than the other ones made her lose it. She stood up, trembling with distress. She felt numb, prisoner of her torment. Her suffering seeming ready to never end.
She was lonely and hated it!
She had to talk, to evacuate all of this!
Right now, there was only one person she could… But no! So late in the night, he would be angry… But she needed it desperately!
Another thunderbolt and she finally decided. She exited her bedroom and walked in direction of the master room. None of the few guards she crossed on her way stopped her. She put her hand on the door, still hesitant. She never did something like that in the past. She was even pretty sure it was forbidden. Or even inappropriate.
She still entered.
Apollo was lying down on his bed, his naked back facing her. With the single light of the thunderbolt, she realised how beautiful he was. It was kind of stressing to think about the fact that she stepped inside his own intimacy!
Was it truly a good idea?
And suddenly, when she thought he was still asleep, he raised himself, took his bow and turned to her, prepared to attack her. Not expecting such a savage reaction, she screamed. "No! Please!"
He finally put his weapon down when he recognized her. She could detect all the surprise on his face. He didn't look mad at all, but mostly worried. He asked her what she was doing here. She responded the truth.
And when another thunder resonated, she finally broke and cried. "I need you!"
Yes! She finally admitted it! She couldn't stay alone! She needed her best friend. Her best confident! The one who shared her pain and her sadness. The one who she could always trust to protect her and look over her. She craved his presence as she had never before.
Apollo was mute for a while. This request totally disturbed him by how unexpected it was. Nevertheless, she could detect his relief for finally having her ready to confess to him. He opened his arms and told her. "Come. You can stay with me."
And quietly, Delphina advanced. She put her hands on the bed, softer than she had imagined. Her mind was screaming to her that it was wrong! They were not a couple. Such intimacy should not be allowed between them. But the welcoming strong arms were too tempting to resist. When she was close enough, Apollo took the initiative to surround her body in his embrace. She could felt the shapes of his muscles, the heat of his skin and the natural perfume of his chest.
Delicately, he made her lie down on his mattress and recovered her with the blanket. Never releasing his tight hold on her, shielding her with his whole presence.
She let herself relax in the bed. She was so comfortable. She experimented a new kind of feeling so difficult to explain but it was pleasant. Then, another thunderbolt cracked and she trembled once again. The memories invaded her stronger than ever and she crumbled under their weight.
Alarmed, Apollo said. "Delphina! Please, talk to me! I know you need to talk! No sleep before we have this discussion!"
She opened her eyes. Apollo looked at her seriously with the greatest intensity she had never seen. She couldn't say if he was begging or ordering her to speak.
Nevertheless, she spoke. "Do you remember?"
"Remember what?"
"When Asclepius was still a child under our care. Once, there was a thunderstorm during the night. He must have been four years old. He was afraid. He got up from his bed and ran to my bedroom. He woke me up and I discovered a little child trembling in fear. He begged me to let him sleep with me. I couldn't deny his wish. I welcomed him and tried to comfort him. He asked me to make the thunderstorm stop. I explained him that I couldn't. That it was his grandfather Zeus who controlled it, not me. However, I tried to reassure him by telling him that his grandfather would never hurt him. Despite how terrifying and dangerous the thunder sounded like, he had nothing to fear from it."
The memories were too painful to bear. She cried once again. "I am despicable! I lied to him! I didn't know but I still lied! He trusted me but I betrayed him! And now, he is gone forever!"
She felt the arms around her body tightening, keeping her prisoner in the embrace. She heard Apollo's angry but sweet voice saying. "Can you spare yourself those foolish thoughts? Damn! If we were in the reverse position, you would tell me that it was not my fault at all. Well! Let me tell you this! You are not responsible! You made everything to reassure him! I would have done the same! Now, please! Find your sense and stop blaming yourself!"
Delphina expected him to be more caring in his words. But she could detect worries for her in his voice. He didn't want her to feel like this and his arguments were valid. Yet, she couldn't. "I'm sorry. You are right. It is stupid to think this way. It is just…just…"
Then, Apollo understood it was pointless to argue with her. After all, she was going through a huge trauma: a trauma he shared partially with her. She couldn't think straight, obviously.
The god kept her in his embrace, caressing her back softly and kissing the top of her head. Honestly, he couldn't estimate how many times he had dreamed to welcome her in his bed. Not even his lovers ever got the privilege to enter his bedroom. She was the first. And he didn't complain. It was just… It wasn't how he had wanted it to be. Somehow, it felt wrong to enjoy it while she was sad.
He looked at her. In the darkness, he couldn't see her whole beauty but his nose could smell her odor, salty as the sea, but still surprisingly exalting. He rarely got the chance to get so close to her to be able to snort it. He just wanted to get drowned in this perfume. And the softness of her hair, massaging his chin. He could feel the shape of her body against his own in the most intimate place ever. It was a temptation impossible to name. And it made resurge feelings he thought gone forever.
How frustrated he was to have her crying and not happy!
The goddess was also experimenting some strange feelings. She felt so good being in the arms of the God of Almost Everything. She felt safe and protected. She could stay like this forever. She was so insanely comfortable! Like a baby in the arms of his mother. On the other side, the sadness still didn't want to leave her. But she knew that the person holding her suffered from the same loss. This way, she didn't feel alone through this.
A thunder cracked and she screamed again. "Apollo, make it stop! I cannot bear it anymore!"
The god kissed her front before going to her ear to whisper. "I will."
And with those last words, Delphina finally found the peace to fall in the kingdom of Morpheus, surrounded by a whole blissfulness.
…
But in the following morning, she woke up alone in Apollo's bed, hearing the voice of Hermes yelling. "Delphina, wake up! This is an emergency!"
She opened her eyes abruptly. Confusion overwhelmed her when she realised she wasn't in her own bedroom and that the God of Trade was just beside her. Memories finally came back to her.
Alarmed, she turned to her nephew and said. "Where is Apollo?"
The god bit his lips before saying. "You will not like it."
"What? What he has done?"
"He has killed the cyclops: the ones who made Zeus 'thunderbolt.
What?!
…
Delphina panicked. Her heart pumped her blood fast like a marathon. She had asked Hermes to bring her on Olympus. She had rarely gone to this place in the past, feeling no connection to the main palace of the gods despite being one herself. And she had never wanted to have to go there for this kind of reason.
But she had to. Apollo put himself in huge trouble and she wanted to know if he would be ok.
"Damn! Apollo! Why did you do something so careless?!" She thought.
Ho! Yeah! She asked him to make the thunderstorm stop. But she was tired, in distress, not thinking rightly. He shouldn't have taken her literally!
She had arrived on Olympus. It was a big and splendid palace made of multiples pavilions all built with pure white marble. Everywhere, many plants in great health decorated the place like the suspended garden of Babylonia. Everywhere, there was so many art that it would take a millennia to notice all the small details.
But she wasn't here to admire this beauty.
The main room where the trial would take place was full. Everyone was shocked to learn that Zeus' favourite son could have done something like this. They all wondered what would be the consequences.
Delphina became nervous just to think about the possibilities. She felt guilty. She should have shut up about wanting the thunderstorm to stop!
Everything suddenly went silent. Apollo entered the room. His face was cold, fearless and impassible. Zeus, sat on his throne, was waiting for him to approach. No sign on his face would indicate if he would be merciful or not. But with the gravity of the crime commited, she doubted it.
She even feared the worst.
"Dear members of the Greek Pantheon." Zeus began angrily. "We are here for the trial of someone who commited an unforgivable offense. An act of defiance and betrayal toward my power and authority."
He directed his stare to his son. "Apollo, you are accused of the murder of the cyclops, makers of the thunderbolt. What do you have to say for your defense?"
"As the God of Truth, I will talk with honesty. I did it to avenge the murder of my own son. I have no regret."
Everyone gasped at the audacity. Delphina wanted to yell at him to not provoke his father like that. Why did he have to act like an idiot?!
As expected, Zeus became really furious. "Blasphemy! You may have been my favourite son but that didn't give you all the rights! You went too far this time! What you have done can only be punished by being sent to Tartarus!"
All people screamed. An Olympian sent to Tartarus?! He would do this?! Delphina panicked. She couldn't bear the idea of her best friend prisoner in this awful place! After losing Asclepius, she couldn't lose Apollo as well!
Suddenly, a feminine voice cracked in the room. Leto, Apollo's mother, threw herself at Zeus' feet and begged. "Zeus! No! Please!"
It worked. Zeus stopped to look at her, giving his total attention to his ex-lover. Hera could hardly hide her jealousy. People pretended that Leto was Zeus' true love. That would explain why he favorited Artemis and Apollo above his own legitimate children.
Leto continued. "Please! Spare our son! Don't send him to Tartarus! I will do anything but please! Don't take my son away from me! I couldn't live knowing I couldn't have protected my child!"
And this moment confirmed that Leto was indeed a weakness of Zeus. His expression softened and he tried to reassure her. "Be calm, my dear Leto. You know I will never do this to our son. I just want to make him understand the gravity of his actions. But I will not send him to Tartarus. Don't worry about it. However…"
He looked once again at the God of the Sun. "My Son, you are still going to be punished. You are going to be banished for a year and forced to serve a mortal as a slave."
And with a tone of finality, he concluded. "This trial is now finished and closed."
The tension was attenuated to leave room for relief.
…
Delphina took a moment to analyse everything that happened in the space of a day. First, she assisted to the funeral of her godson. The following night, she sought comfort in the arms of Apollo. And the fool just killed the cyclops in revenge for the murder of his son.
Now, he was banished for a year.
Delphina didn't get any time to talk to him after the trial. He was immediately sent to Thessaly where he was to serve the King Admetus as a slave to pay amends for his crime.
She waited a few days before being ready to face him. She travelled to the land where she would find him.
And here he was. In a big meadow, surrounded by sheep and goats. As the God of Shepherds and Herdsmen, he chose to serve as he knew he could serve the best. While watching the animals, he played his lyre in order to enchant them.
He appeared peaceful. Not troubled at once. Comfortable with his fate. But Delphina came to interrupt him.
"Apollo!"
The God of the Sun raised his chin with no surprise in his face. He expected her visit, sooner or later. He knew her too well.
He was also prepared for the ineluctable argument that was going to happen.
"Delphina… How are you feeling?"
"How am I feeling? How are you feeling?! How on Earth did you, The God of Reason, put in your head the foolish idea to commit these murders? The cyclops were innocent! They were only doing their duties! So, not only it is stupid, but awful as well. And…"
She breathed and pursued. "Is it my fault, right? When I asked you to make the thunderstorm stop, you took me too literally?"
"No… You are wrong."
The enslaved deity stoop up and stared at her with a living fire that sent a chill in her bones. She stayed there, ready to listen.
"I would have not killed innocents for you. I know you would have disapproved. No… I did it for myself. You can hate me for this but I don't regret it."
Delphina looked into his eyes. She read through them. In the depth of his soul. She had known him since the day of his birth. She had always been beside him during all the worst moments of his life.
Why she had missed it?
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Don't say…"
"I'm sorry for not having been there for you." She cut him. "You lost your son. You have suffered as much as I did. But you hid your own pain too well…to care about my own first. You needed comfort just as much as I did. And if in the past, I have always been there for you, this time, I failed. For that, I'm sorry!"
A huge warmth covered Apollo's heart as he detected the sincerity in her voice. Her caring side, her kindness, her compassion, everything he loved about this woman was back. And by Zeus, he needed this presence!
He took a step closer to her. He caressed her cheek. She didn't step back. Something different happened between them. Never Apollo had felt this craving need to have her in his life! Her eyes met his. An invisible connection was bonding them together like a chain. Something hit his chest strongly.
He spoke. "Thank you. But you know how I am and that I would still have done that. I only regret that we are going to be apart while we finish to go through this grief."
"Being apart? No way! I'm going to stay with you! I will help you to keep the herd and any other task requested to you! I am not going to leave you alone."
"No!" The god replied with authority. "It is my banishment and my punishment. You stay out of this! You need to go back to the ocean. And someone has to take care of Delphi during my absence."
Then, he turned his back on her. He advanced to go back to his duty when he heard. "But…"
"I am not in the mood to discuss with you!" He asserted.
"And I am not in the mood to obey you." She riposted.
Apollo stopped and growled. Why did she have to be so difficult? "Delphina…" He warned.
And for once, she gave up while sighing. "Fine. But I am still going to come back to see you as often as I can. I am not going to let you down fully. So please, let me be by your side from time to time."
What would be the use to fight the temptation to receive her visits? In the end, the God of the Sun surrendered. How could he refuse her anything more?
…
For a long year, he had dedicated himself to his duties imposed by his punishment. He kept the herd and served the king Admetus loyally.
To be honest, it wasn't the first time he was enslaved like this. Last time, it was when Hera convinced him to help her to betray his father during the episode of the imprisonment of Zeus in his bed. Of course, he succeeded to get free and punished everybody involved.
That included Apollo who got to help the Trojans to build a wall around their city alongside his uncle, Poseidon.
This episode ended badly when, after the work done, the foolish King of Troy denied both gods their repayment for the services they gave him. Even enslaved, you don't deny a god of his reward.
And so, Poseidon sent a flood to the city and Apollo stroke the people with plague as a punishments.
Well, it wasn't a good memories.
But this time, he had to admit that he possessed a so much kinder, fairer and smarter master. Admetus proved to be a devoted king to his subjects, a wise leader of his kingdom and a respectful employer to his divine servant in exile.
He passed the year, serving as a herdsman and bonding a deep friendship with the man. A relationship he deeply enjoyed. Something still unusual between a mortal and a god. Even Delphina showed high appreciation for the gentleness of the King. To get the approval of the kindest of the deities signified a lot.
And then, when the exile was coming close to the end, he talked with Delphina who joined him with his herd.
"I want to do something for Admetus." Apollo told her.
The goddess looked at him, smiling lovingly. "You are right. This man has been so hospitable toward us. He deserves no less. Do you have something in your mind?"
"Yes, he confessed to me that he fell in love with a pretty princess of Iolcus, Alcestis. But in order to get her hand in marriage, her father, the King Pelias, challenged him to bring a chariot drawn by a lion and a wild boar. I will help him to accomplish the exploit."
"Hmm… I hope that this princess loves him back. I would hate you for forcing her to wed a man she doesn't possess any feeling toward."
"Are you considering me as a cruel god?"
"Sometimes, you can be. In love, you can act very excessively."
"Sometimes. But I didn't react brutally when you rejected me."
Delphina froze. She was a little disturbed. He had said that with a playing tone. But she had listened to it seriously. And she reflected. Since the birth of Asclepius, Apollo didn't take any lover. After many failed romances, he had wanted to only focus on the raising of his child while he shared the responsibility with her. Now that the God of Medicine was gone, they reached the other one to fill up the emptiness.
Delphina discovered a need to have Apollo in her life so strong it hurt. She travelled to Thessaly as often as she could. She helped him to look over the sheep and goats. Far away from Delphi, in this new environment, they discussed and learned a little more about the other.
The Goddess forgot the powerful god he was. She saw a rare humility and a sense of loyal servitude strangely charming. She remembered how he complained when he went through the same trial at Troy. Always complaining. But not this time.
She couldn't explain it. She loved this side of her friend. More down to earth. More selfless. More mature. She could recognize Asclepius in his father.
For once, they didn't act like rulers of a sanctuary or parents of a child. This time, they acted… She wanted to say like friends, but no… There was something else.
When the absence of Asclepius became too heavy in their hearts, instinctively, they hugged and looked for physical comfort. Something they hesitated to do before but became essential between them.
They never went far. But…
Delphina closed her eyes. She imagined the shapes of the muscles of her god surrounding her thin body. His soft nose drowning in the depth of her hair. Her head stuck on his chest. Her ear hearing the tempo of his heart. His masculine perfume enveloping her soul…
She shook her brain. Why was she thinking like that?!
Then suddenly, Apollo brought her back on Earth. "Don't worry. Alcestis confessed under the sun her love for Admetus. So I am going to help two people at once."
"Can I help?"
"No. I will be fine on my own. I am enslaved but still a god. Don't underestimate my powers."
"Superb! I wish the greatest happiness for this king and his future queen!"
And he smiled. She blushed a little. She was losing control over her own emotions. For the first time, she wondered if the God of Almost Everything still possessed feelings for her. Because he truly did in the past, right? Well, the way he looked at her recently troubled her. She became confused in her own field of sentiments.
But beyond this weird feeling, a bliss remained strong in her each time she was with him.
…
Admetus had lived a long and happy life with his wife Alcestis. A great and successful marriage, a rare thing in a world where most marital contracts were the fruits of arrangements between families.
But they remained mortal. And so, one day, Admetus caught an illness so bad that even Apollo himself couldn't heal him. Still, he wanted to aid his dear friend and tried to negotiate a deal with the Fates. They accepted to not take his life if someone else would volunteer to take his place.
Satisfied, he came back to see the sick king lying down in his bed to share the news.
But who was going to die for him? His own parents, still alive but really old, were suggested.
Sadly, the maternal and paternal love didn't triumph. They refused to give up their own lives to save their son. Despite being too old and having themselves few time left, they enjoyed life too much to die right now.
And so, Admetus was going to die… Until his wife spoke. "I will do it! Please, take my life! Don't let my loving husband die!"
Apollo, still present, felt his heart hurt when he saw the pain in the eyes of the sovereign who wanted to protest. Sadly, it was too late. Thanatos, God of Death, appeared and took the queen's soul.
Admetus survived. Lonely, widowed, empty in his heart. He cried his tragedy.
Most Greek stories ended this way. Happy ending wasn't something Fates possessed a great taste for. Apollo would do nothing against it. He just wasn't powerful enough.
He could only help his friend to go through this grief: he had known it too many times.
Until…
…
"Are you really going to be grumpy about it?" Delphina laughed at Apollo's reaction.
Admetus 'story ended well after all. He had been a host for Heracles during his journey. A good one. And to thank him for his hospitality, the hero achieved the greatest exploit: he brought back Alcestis during his twelfth labour while led him to the Underworld.
The reunion between the two lovers was the most heartwarming thing Delphina had ever seen. Love was such a beautiful feeling after all. She stayed there above the pool where she could spy the two love birds. She could almost breathe their happiness regarding its intensity.
But Apollo was annoyed by Heracles 'role in this. It irritated his ego. "I can admit this guy did a good thing. But don't expect me to forgive him so easily for what he did to you!"
"Please, I forgave you so much worse! By the way, he apologized, remember!"
"He could have killed you! If it would have happened… I would have not even let him the chance to repay himself by bringing you back to me like he just did! You can be certain I would have done it myself!"
While Delphina still watched the king and queen in love together, the comparison he made stroke her bigly inside her. Her invasive emotions attacked her once again.
She was flattered but also confused.
She turned to look at him. "You would do this for me?"
Sat on his throne, the god gazed seriously at her. "Do you think there is anything I would not be ready to do for you?"
She knew how protective he was of her. But… "What do you mean?"
An unexpected silence took place.
He stood up to leave. That meant he wanted to avoid the question. But she would not let him go. "Apollo! No! Stop!"
He listened. But she faced his back. She couldn't read his face. Still, she replied. "Apollo! Something changed. We are not acting the same when we are together! No! In fact, we are the same but there is something more! You must have noticed it as well! So please, tell me!"
She took a breath. She became so tormented by her feelings. She needed clarity. "You and I, what do we become?"
Why were they so comfortable physically? Why did they crave the other for emotional support? What did they always have this need to know how the other is feeling?
What happened between them?
Another silence passed. Like if Apollo hesitated about what to respond.
Finally, he answered. "You and I… It is complicated."
And he left.
Those were the same words she said to Asclepius' children a long time ago.
She fell down. Her blood boiled. She breathed fast. Her heart beat so violently. Her vision became troubled. Her whole world went numb. An ocean of strong emotions submerged her and she couldn't swim through it. It felt like she had to learn to navigate through these new waters.
Like she had always wanted to swim across the sea when she was young, a new desire appeared in her soul, stronger and more imperative.
She looked at the image of Admetus and Alcestis once again and she understood.
She suffered of jealousy... Because she wanted this happiness.
Thank you for reading!
Since I will be gone for one week, I am going to have less time to write, so don't expect to have the next chapter before December.
I will do my best to be as fast as possible! By the way, don't forget that reviews always help to find the motivation to write!
I hope you enjoyed it. This is the hint for the next chapter: Thebes (if you guessed, yes, you can freak out!)
See you soon!