The World That Never Will Be chapter 26
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
12/6/2019
CHAPTER 26
"The strength of the heart... how does one access it?"
"It's not normally something that can be taught. Those who can, who are strong enough, sometimes manifest keyblades on their own," Aqua provided, coasting on the easy question.
"So, it is not the same as force of will. Is a keyblade strictly required?"
"Not always. Hope and friendship are also strengths of the heart."
"I see."
"And love..." She couldn't help it. She blushed.
Sephiroth captured her gaze, and time pretended to stop for him to declare, "Master Aqua. If love can beat the darkness then I will love you until there is nothing left."
How could Sephiroth say things like that? But he did. Ridiculously romantic things in his ridiculously attractive voice.
He was calmer than before. Most of the electric, zinging tension had fallen out of the air.
For a moment, in the storm of questions, Aqua had felt it too, what he did. 'Joy' was not an accurate descriptor, nor even 'elation'. His was the euphoria of being perfectly alive in pursuit of his goal. The fire in his eyes had raged, so agitated, and it felt like he was going to take off and leave her behind, launch himself heavenward and disappear forever. She'd feared she wasn't there to him at all, that she'd be crushed between the feathers of his madness.
But he was here, by her side, talking animatedly, telling her it was alright if she didn't know right now, that they would find out together.
He'd offered her the worlds (the universe? some other reality-warping power, like his illusions? it was terribly unclear), and Aqua had trouble deciding whether to believe him or not. Wouldn't it be a huge responsibility?
Ha, he'd had her almost convinced for a second that he could do anything!
...did he feel that way about her, too? Was it part of being in love? To have confidence in that person...
Even Master Eraqus, Terra, and Ven had hawked for faults in her technique, ready to critique mistakes, ready for her to somehow fail. Sephiroth didn't. He looked at her and was content with what he found, forgiving of what he did not. He praised her spells. He laughed.
And they both thought they had something to prove! It was... kinda nice to have met another person with high standards.
They were cute, stumbling to impress each other. A whirling dance of mutual embarrassment. Aqua wished she had someone to giggle about it with.
...and he was really good at hugs. It felt good to be near him, and he never told her to go away, so he must feel the same, liking her there, sitting next to him or standing, his arms around her, leaning her head on his chest (he was so tall), she'd found a comfortable spot where none of his buckles left an imprint on her cheek. He'd run his hands through her hair. She wasn't a cat, to be petted... but... it felt good when he did it.
What dream is keeping you going? she'd said.
You wouldn't want to help me with it, he'd said.
...but she did want to. Whatever his purpose, she wanted to follow him. Overwhelming desire, woven together with that great dread that was so intrinsic to him. Devotion more tempting than the darkness.
She was in love. With fresh, deeper understanding of the phrase, Aqua was afraid, terrified to be. The strength of the emotion, its realization.
Sephiroth was here, to comfort her.
Such gentle touch, for her! In his place, she could not have managed his self-control. Aqua worried she wouldn't be able to resist, enveloped in, entranced by, the core of wanting need. What held her back was... inexperience and embarrassment and fear that he'd leave if she was too forward. And there were rules. It wasn't proper to just ...hop into bed with someone, right? You had to have a happily-ever-after wedding first, didn't you? These things were not discussed.
Ha! He wanted to destroy the darkness, he wanted to know everything, and with nearly equal fervor, she wanted to much-more-than-kiss him. What a pair they made.
"What are you thinking about?" Sephiroth asked.
Ha! As if he couldn't see it on her face, in her eyes, in her posture, in her touch! He had to know!
Aqua laughed, "Xehanort is doomed."
Sephiroth decided he liked her laugh, how carefree it could be despite the trials she'd been through. Master Aqua knew how to be grateful for joy. Not merely a talent, but a skill, built in tragedy overcome.
Her stress response was altruism, she thrived on bravery in hardship. When she was sad, she wanted to cheer someone up. By her honesty, she was good at it. He'd laughed more, since meeting her.
She made him happy. Silly, even. Because he liked to make her laugh, too. No one would believe how much.
He'd made the right choice.
Only a little longer, and they could take a break.
"You said people are connected by their hearts."
"Yes," Aqua confirmed.
"Can you trace Xehanort that way? Could you locate his heart?"
Could she? She grimaced at the prospect of an attempt.
"It would be a useful ability," Sephiroth encouraged, "To know how to find someone in darkness. Or any landmark in that place."
"It's not that simple," Aqua protested. If only it were that easy! She'd have found her friends in no time! Maybe even in time...
"How did Xehanort find you? By chance? How long did he search? No, there must be a reliable method. I will discover it. If one does not exist, I will create it."
Aqua hesitated. But this was more important than her ancient shame. "Before I met you Sephiroth, Terra... no, Xehanort, appeared to me in darkness, as a trick. He said his heart had ties to the darkness, and that's how we could talk. I didn't understand what he meant."
"Ties to the darkness?"
"Yes. I don't have that. I never gave in. So I can't find Xehanort the same way he found me."
Sephiroth scoffed. "My darkness would be sufficient, if I knew how. But my heart has no connection to Xehanort's."
Aqua heard the unspoken end of his statement. My heart has no connections to anyone.
"We'll have to change that," she responded, chipper as she could.
He stared at her, and she realized her words did not match his. His eyes widened, and she saw the transient sliver of shock flit across his cold, reflexive mask and turn into a smile, as he figured her out.
"...Ah, but, my precious ally, you already have."
She basked in the heat of his affection. All over again, he was her safety. Her hero of darkness and angel of light.
A sudden calm to his demeanor, a refocus. "Will you help me with something?"
"Anything," her heart sang.
Sephiroth pressed one gloved index finger to her forehead, a whisper-touch. "Xehanort's abilities... I wish I had seen them for myself."
Her report had been adequate.
But he wanted this. Beyond all reason, he wanted it.
Sephiroth had worked hard to persuade himself of its tactical necessity. Sheltering her was a mistake, when knowledge of a dangerous foe could make the difference between victory and defeat.
...never mind that the information would be woefully out of date.
...never mind that Master Aqua had explicitly told him she did not want to relive this moment.
He could frame it as character growth or part of a psychological healing process. The courage to confront one's fears and emerge victorious. The promise that she would be stronger for the experience.
She would believe him. Theoretically they would both benefit.
...she would decide she had. Human nature was to assign deeper meaning to whatever suffering one endured.
He had the control to make sure she came to no harm.
He would monitor her carefully. He knew the limits of distress, he'd let her go before it came near that point.
And he would have his thrill.
His usual approach was forbidden. He would not, and perhaps now could not, do that to her.
...but he'd devised a way around. A non-invasive procedure.
They'd remain entirely in the Realm of Light, where Master Aqua could easily resist if she chose.
From darkness he'd shape a canvas onto which she'd project her memories. Safe from his direct touch.
A rite drawn in sand and mortared with shadow. His own power only the spark of ignition, to enable the expanding darkness to masquerade as aether. The borrowed space between.
Sephiroth thought 'illusion' was a rather boring term for what he did.
He opened his memory to the ideal place and time, fabricating the possibility of interaction...
"But I told you what happened," Aqua stalled, trying to avoid looking up so she wouldn't get cross-eyed.
"A picture is worth a thousand words."
What did he...? Oh. "You want to see into my memories?"
Sephiroth nodded.
"You can do that? I'm not sure if... Is it like seeing into a heart?"
"I don't know. Maybe you can tell me." Pensive, curious, mirthful. A challenge, and an invitation.
The 'why' still eluded her, until Aqua's secret thoughts chimed in.
...he's showing off for you.
It was flattering, right? That he wanted to see what she'd seen? To see her view of the world?
"Will it hurt?"
"No. I've thought of a way to make it safe."
...was it normally not safe?
"No," she said. "I won't."
She trusted him, but this was something else.
Sephiroth let the energies of his spell dissipate.
Perhaps it was for the best.
"Alright."
Cloud's recent memories were acceptably hazy; he'd had no encounters with the enemy. Not lucid enough to struggle, well-trained synapses hung limply in obeisance, unresisting, autonomy still forgotten. A great relief.
Sephiroth opened Cloud's eyes.
He was on the cobbled ground, prone. Thankfully, not damp. Looming over him were... fuzzy brown and tan stripes. One of the blurs had a red nose and was wearing what resolved into a tropical red and yellow shirt. The second animal wore a wool-lined pilot's jacket and a ranger hat. The... chipmunks? chattered, arguing; one bonked the other on the head.
"Ow!"
They shone a flashlight in his face. "Are you okay? You collapsed in the middle of the street!"
They'd make good volunteers for his despair-reversal experiments. Master Aqua had escaped critical need, but he should not abandon the concept.
Sephiroth blinked the spots away and made Cloud scratch his neck sheepishly, "Yeah. Just got a little dizzy. Pretty hungry." Procuring refreshment was the reason his pawn was in Radiant Garden, after all. Master Aqua should not go without.
"I know! Some chocolate will cheer you up!" squeaked the red-nosed chipmunk.
He let them ease Cloud's body to its feet.
They pushed him towards a shadowy storefront oozing expensive decadence, lit in red neon temptation. The sign read: 'Mad Hatter's Confectionery'.
Excellent.
She'd been brave, answering his questions. She deserved a treat.
The best assortments were labeled with words like 'raven' and 'midnight'.
Sephiroth said, as himself, on the ridge, "Do you like white chocolate, Master Aqua?" He didn't think he should mention dark.
"Eh, it's okay."
...milk chocolate it is. Three layers. In a heart-shaped box. He paid at the register.
"Stay here," Master Aqua suggested. "I'll bring you some water. You look like you need it."
"What?"
"So you don't get a sore throat," she explained. "After all that talking. I'm getting some too."
In a daze, Sephiroth watched her go and come back. He fixed his appearance to be less ragged.
"Here," she thrust the glass at him, sloshing the liquid within significantly, jostling three ice cubes and a black straw bent into the shape of mouse ears.
For herself, she'd chosen the golden zigzag crown straw.
He sipped his drink. Had he ever had a novelty straw before? He'd meant them for her.
The others in the set were a red heart, a gray elephant, and a blue lion cub.
...it was ridiculous.
He nearly choked laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"This." Sephiroth pointed at the glass, and abstracted to everything, "All of this."
She was waiting for him to make sense. Heh. He thought she might have to wait a while.
"I was just being nice," she defended.
"Thank you."
"It's only a glass of water," she pursued, stubborn for an explanation.
Ha! He'd supply one she'd like.
Sephiroth modulated his tone to charmingly vulnerable instead of pathetic, "I've always wanted... someone to care for me, to watch over me."
She nodded, listening triumphantly.
"But I've never imagined the details of what they'd actually do. I have never been sick. Even if I were dead, I'd just need to rest."
Master Aqua raised a cynical eyebrow.
"That is the absurdity. I will always be fine, I will always recover. I would not change that. But no one fears for my welfare; no one needs to. No one shows me that affection. Not since... only ever..."
"Zack?" she guessed correctly, "I know you're comparing me to him. Just like I can't help comparing you to Terra and Ven."
Sephiroth wondered how he measured up. If he was as childish as they. At the moment, maybe. He was taking advantage in a way he should not.
"Let's see... if you were sick in bed..." Aqua began, "I'd bring you water, like this, and warm tea, and food you really liked. I'd help you take your medicine; if it was bitter, I'd give you a spoonful of sugar to go with it. I'd bring you something to do, something to read, and the right number of blankets. I'd keep the blinds drawn if the light hurt your eyes, or a nightlight on if you needed to see your way. I'd check on you so you wouldn't have to be lonely. We could watch your favorite movies, or... if you could sit up, there's a couple card games I know that aren't too taxing, ones that are random but still kinda fun. I'd listen to your room to make sure you didn't fall, and if you cried out in pain I'd come running."
"That would be... very kind of you." He smiled at the dream she'd planted at his behest, the seed of his innocent fantasy.
"What is your favorite movie, anyway?"
Sephiroth had no idea. "I don't know. What's the card game called?"
"War."
He laughed, heedless of his dead pride. "You'll have to teach me how to play it someday."
Sephiroth indulged a final tasting of her validation, "It was silly, wasn't it. The beach house. Frivolous and wasteful. When we know we should be moving on."
Master Aqua shrugged at him, "There's nothing the matter with comfort. I actually think it was... really thoughtful of you."
"Hmph, it was selfish."
"Alright, if you insist," she teased. "Sometimes, kindness is selfish. But that doesn't make it wrong."
"Ah. Heroism again."
"Yeah," Aqua grinned at what was becoming a joke between them. "But... we shouldn't stay here much longer."
"I know." Sephiroth sighed and narrowed his sight, peering through the misted maze of magic he'd contrived. "The spell has another two days before it unravels. That should be enough."
"Let's get you back there. To the house, so you can rest," she proposed. "So I can get a heroic night's sleep."
"Not yet."
"Why?"
...the chocolate isn't there yet.
"It helps me think, to look at the sky. It's beautiful tonight."
"It's been a long time since I really looked," Aqua said, tilting her chin up, exposing her profile. Her cheeks were rosy.
"What do you see?"
"The stars have changed so much since I saw them last. Are we somewhere new, or are they new stars, different stars, have all the stars I've known gone out? Is Mickey's star still there? Master Yen Sid's? Do I have one?"
I can make one for you if you like, Sephiroth thought. I can make it shine forever.