JENNIE
The Kappa Sig house was packed. Music thumped, bodies crammed the dance floor, and people cheered the first round of parties of the new semester.
As more people — mostly girls — were let in the door, the temperature rose higher and higher.
Inside, I hugged my coat close. The January chill hadn't left my body yet, and I refused to think about the cold, dark apartment that would be waiting for me tonight.
"Jennie!" James Ulloa waved me over, a huge smile on his face. "You look amazing. I mean, you always look amazing."
I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and he handed me a plastic cup of beer.
"You're here by yourself?" His brow furrowed. "Where's Rosé and everyone?"
"I needed to do my own thing tonight."
He ran a hand over his curly hair. "Are you okay?"
James and I grew up in the same hometown. I was a year older, the honorary big sister who helped him with college essays and gave him love advice.
Jennie Kim? She's the last person who'd beg to crash on your floor because she's fucking desperate.
But at our school, girls rarely came to frat parties alone.
"Everything's fine!" I flashed him a bright smile. "Everything's great. Sometimes you just want to try something new, you know?"
"I guess…"
I swallowed half my beer. Turning to survey the crowded space, I met a pair of pale brown eyes and sucked in air.
They watched me from across the room like cool water: calm, unruffled, hinting at something deep and dark beneath.
The face that went with those eyes would be beautiful, if she were smiling. Decent-looking. Easy on the eyes.
But there was nothing decent or easy about her stare.
"Jennie?" James touched my elbow. I blinked at the crisscrossing lights of the party. "You sure you're okay?"
"You need to get me drink number two and stop asking me that." I tousled his mop of hair. "Hey," I added off-handedly, "Who's that tall guy across the room?"
"Where?"
Lisa wasn't looking at me anymore. She was talking with a small group. The girls kept surveying their options and coming back to her, the other guys were joking and competing. She was in the conversation, but seemed detached.
I pointed in her direction.
"Oh, that's Lisa Manoban." James refilled my plastic cup at the keg and handed it back. "Why? You interested?"
Nervous was more like it. Uncomfortable. Turned on. Unable to look away.
"I'm just curious."
"Senior. Spent her junior year abroad, and she wasn't around much last semester. She did the bare minimum for her requirements here, but she showed up to events when she needed to."
"And?" I prodded.
James grinned. "I don't know her that well, and I don't know what she's like with anyone, but she's solid. Reliable. Remember that huge fucking snowstorm in December? Right before it started, I was across town and my car died. I called everyone I knew. Lisa was the one who drove out with jumper cables. When it started snowing, I thought I was fucked, but she texted to say she was on her way. She drove through that snow, started my car, and made sure I got home. Most people wouldn't. If Lisa says she's going to do something, she does it."
"That's great." I should be breathing easier. Instead, my heart was pounding. "I'm going to go find out about that."
"Awright." James slapped me on the back. "Let me know if you need an out."
I fought across the crowded room, my beer sloshing in its cup. When I stopped at Lisa's elbow, the other guys and girls melted into the crowd.
She looked down at me, her eyebrows raised. Jesus, she towered over me. Her shoulders and arms were about to split her blue button-down. Standing this close to this much muscle did something to my body. I felt dizzy.
I held out my free hand. "I never introduced myself last time. I'm Jennie."
"Lisa."
Her hand engulfed mine. The contact made my stomach flip. I let her guide me past the dance floor, down the hall, and into a deserted game room, where a dart board watched over an empty pool table.
The door stood open. People passed by constantly in the hall, crowding and laughing, but no one paid attention to us.
I freed my fingers, shrugging off my coat. Lisa took it and dropped it on the table.
Her eyes flicked over my tight, cropped red sweater and the v-neck that showed a peek of cleavage. Without apology, she lingered on the sliver of bare skin above my black leggings. As hot as the room was, goosebumps sprang up on my skin.
When she looked back at my face, I had a sudden urge to tell her that I hadn't showered because my water heater was off. That I'd done my makeup in the bathroom of the engineering building because I couldn't see in my apartment. That I'd skipped dinner because I was too stressed to eat. That I was determined no one would know any of this.
"Darts?" She nodded toward the board.
"Sure." I swallowed a mouthful of beer and set the cup down where I could keep an eye on it.
She put a dart in my hand. "You first."
My hand shook. I squinted at the dart board and took aim. It went wide, quivering in the outer ring. I glanced at Lisa and went for another sip of beer.
"What's your major?"
Her dart sailed to the bullseye. Thunk. It stuck there, mocking me. "What's yours?" she replied.
"Tell you later." I grabbed another dart and tried again. The point caught in the second circle. Lisa's dart flew straight to the center, keeping her first one company.
"Stop showing me up." I pushed my hair back from my face.
"I've had a lot of practice."
"With darts?"
She shrugged her huge shoulders. I stared at the points caught in the bullseye.
"I fell asleep in one of my classes today," I blurted. "I've never done that before. I woke up to the sound of thirty people laughing at me. Hilarious."
Her mouth twitched. "Sleeping Beauty."
A flush spread down my chest.
"Nah. I've never been a fan of that story. Sleeping Beauty doesn't do anything. The princes are the ones who struggle with the thorns."
"So who are you?" Her deep voice was amused behind me.
I'd always liked Little Red Riding Hood, but I wasn't going to say so. "You tell me."
She took aim with another dart. "I prefer reality."
"I broke up with my boyfriend," I announced, in case she was wondering.
"Congratulations." She dropped the dart and clinked her plastic cup against mine. Clear liquid rippled inside. "Cheers."
"That's a full cup. No mixers?"
One dark brow lifted. "Water. I told you I don't drink."
"In November! Things could have changed since then. Did you take a vow or something? C'mere." It wasn't like me to come on this strong. "Let me smell your breath."
"No." She cocked her head. "You'll have to take me at my word."
My cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
"You asked what my major was," I snapped. "Well, I'm majoring in finding out why you've been giving me the eye and you're doing nothing about it."
Her brows lifted sardonically. But there was no mistaking the sudden flash in her eyes — the hunger. She took a step toward me.
"You call this nothing, Jennie?"
At the sound of my name on her lips, I shivered. Her leg brushed mine, and I looked down.
My own legs were spread. I hadn't realized it. Her polished black shoe, between my pointy boots, reflected the lights of the party. Our bodies weren't touching, but if I leaned forward, just a little, I'd be grinding on her thigh.
She nodded toward my beer. "How many have you had?"
"None of your business. And it's only my second."
"College isn't all about being irresponsible and sleeping it off?"
Prickles rolled over my skin. "I never said that to you. You listened when I was on the phone today, didn't you? You were eavesdropping."
"Listen, babe." The pet name raised every hair on my neck. Our room was so empty, deserted, the party elsewhere. "If you want to have a private conversation, don't do it so loud, and don't do it so close to someone in the quad."
I grabbed my last dart, sighted it, and hurled it at the board. It stuck next to Lisa's darts, just outside the bullseye.
"You didn't have to listen."
"You wanted me to." Her voice was soft. Slowly, my head swiveled to look up at her. My nipples hardened painfully, and an ache between my legs tugged, tugged, tugged. "You wanted me to hear every last word about your money problems, and your shitty boyfriend who didn't do it for you, and your cold, lonely night in your dark apartment. You wanted me to feel sorry for you."
I should step back, but I couldn't. "I did not. And you came up to me afterward, didn't you? You watched me — cry. Then you dropped a goddamn invitation in the snow with nothing but a time written on it. I'm here. What do you want?"
Lisa tossed the last dart on the pool table with a clatter. "Let's go for a walk."
"No." I glanced at all the people milling around outside our room.
Her brows lifted. "We'll have privacy."
"We have all the privacy I want in here. Whatever you have to say, say it."
She leaned against the pool table, her powerful arms folded across her chest. "There's something I'm interested in," she said finally. "I think you might be interested in it too."
"Me?" I said hoarsely. "What do you know about me?"
"You don't like asking for help. You have a lot of pride. You spend a lot of energy on faking it." She let the silence stretch out. "And you've never really gotten what you want in bed."
I stared at her, stripped naked in a few sentences. "Excuse me? You don't know that."
"You've been asleep, Jennie." Her voice was soft, mocking, her pale eyes holding mine. "Haven't you? He was finished in, like, two minutes, and I never finished at all." She mimicked my inflections with uncanny precision.
"Shut up," I whispered, hot and dizzy.
"Admit it. You wanted me to know."
My face burned. "Enough. Tell me what you want."
"I'm looking for a companion."
"A companion?" I began to pace. Lisa didn't move a muscle. Picking up a pool cue, I tapped it on the ground. "Are you, like, ninety years old? Do you need me to help you cross the street?"
Her lips twitched. "Not exactly."
Reaching into her back pocket, she whipped out a black leather wallet. Out came a wad of bills. She flashed them in front of my eyes.
Twenties. A thick handful.
God help me, I was hungry for that money. The bills looked so gorgeous, so full of promise, I almost grabbed them. Instead, I wiped my sweaty hands on my leggings.
"What the hell is that?"
"Money. You need it, right?"
My face burned. "It's been a rough month. What does this have to do with you being ninety and looking for a 'companion?'"
She gave me a cool smile.
"How straight up do you want me to be, Jennie?" Her voice was a dangerous secret, lulling me into dropped my guard. "I'm not a pretty talker, but I'd hate to ruin your cute ears with words you don't want to hear. Once I say something, it can't be unsaid."
"Give it to me straight," I blurted. "Don't try for pretty. You'd just screw it up."
She beckoned me closer, money in her hand. I stared at her, at the open doorway and the party beyond, then leaned in. We were two shadows by the wall, out of sight. She brushed my hair off my ear, sending chills through me.
"I want to fuck you," she whispered, "and pay you for it."
I jerked away as if she'd burned me. My mouth opened and closed.
"I give you an 'F' for game," I said, when my voice came back. Her eyes were two cold flames, melting my clothes. I would have laughed in her face, but Lisa didn't invite laughter. I scrabbled for my plastic cup so I could throw the rest of my beer in her face. "Are you out of your mind?"
"Pool!" a male voice roared from the hall. "Let's play pool!"
A drunken dude poked his head in the room, fronting a pack of guys and girls. Lightning-fast, Lisa tucked the money in her wallet and slid it casually into her back pocket. Leveling a gaze at the guy in the doorway, she put her hand on my shoulder.
"Chase." She gave Pool Boy a slight nod. "Give us a minute?"
They exchanged a glance of recognition, but I wasn't sure if it was amiable. Chase pushed disorderly hair out of his bloodshot eyes. The look he gave me, through the fuzz of alcohol, seemed surprised.
"Take as long as you need," he slurred. "I'm glad you found a friend." He staggered out, and his pack shuffled after him. We were alone again.
Lisa let go of my shoulder. I felt the shape of her hand through my clingy shirt.
"I take it you're not a player," I said. "Makes sense, since your game is so bad."
"I don't waste time with games outside the bedroom, Jennie," she answered calmly. "Only inside. There, I play to win. And I haven't met someone who interests me in awhile."
My face flamed, and a sick excitement fluttered in my belly.
"Why do you want this? A — companion." I leaned heavy on the sarcasm.
"There are certain things I'm looking for, and certain things I'm not." Her voice was matter-of-fact. "I don't want a girlfriend. I don't want one-night stands. I want sex on a regular basis, with one woman, the way I like it. No strings attached, and no question about what we are to each other."
"The way you like it," I repeated. Her eyes, flaring and narrowing, intensified the ache between my legs. I swallowed hard. "Meaning—what? Constant blowjobs? You lie there while she does all the work?"
A smile flickered across her stony face. She tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
"You're adorable."
"You're crazy," I whispered, mortification pricking my neck and chest. "How about finding someone who, you know, actually makes a living from sex?"
"I don't want a prostitute."
"Sounds like that's just what you want."
She shook her head. "I want exclusivity. I'm not paying enough to hire a girl who makes her living this way."
"Practical." I tensed. "I'm sure you can find someone who's…an escort on the side."
"That's not what I'm looking for. Not exactly."
It hit me. She wanted me.
Or someone like me. A college girl who would never consider doing this under normal circumstances. She was getting off on my discomfort, my curiosity.
"Have you tried a friend with benefits?" I asked brightly. "Free. And friendly."
"I don't have sex with my friends."
I wondered if she had friends, period.
"Just a piece of advice. I recommend doing the deed with someone who likes you."
"You don't like me?" She grinned — the first real smile I'd seen so far.
"No."
She cocked her head. "Why aren't your parents helping you out with your bills?"
"I haven't asked them." I swigged my beer. "They'd be…disappointed. They have high expectations."
"Oh?" Her eyes weren't leaving me.
"I have a perfect older sister who does everything right." And I was damn sure Jisoo had never spilled her guts to some stranger in a frat with ice for eyes. A stranger who wanted to pay her for sex. "I'm the kid sister who can never measure up."
She took my chin in her hand. "Why do you have to measure up?"
"I just do," I whispered. "I've been trying not to, but it doesn't work."
The music changed. Notes melted in the air, and the singer's feminine voice rippled from the DJ booth to our solitary room. A couple lurched past the doorway, her arms and legs wrapped around him, mouths tussling eagerly.
God help me, I leaned close to Lisa, my head tilting, standing on tiptoe in my high-heeled boots. Whatever happened, I needed to know how it felt to kiss her.
She bent her head, but I had to close the gap.
I smelled mint and cold, smoky winter air. No alcohol.
It was a soft kiss, but it got rougher as it deepened. Our tongues brushed in a burst of heat. Teeth closed on my lower lip, sharp and hungry. My arms wound around her neck, and a sudden tug on my hair made me gasp.
She pulled back just as I dove in for more.
"Wait," I protested, my hand going to the back of her head.
She sat up straight, evading me, though she kept hold of my chin. She laughed softly, and my face burned at being so obvious.
"I'm not going any further like this." Her thumb caressed my cheek. "Not without an arrangement. But you're very cute."
"Thanks. You're scary."
"Awww." She flashed white teeth — a wolf, in wolf's clothing.
I hadn't been joking — I was scared. Even if I gave her the finger and walked away, those cold eyes would show up in my dreams while I shivered in my apartment. I'd see them everywhere on campus. I'd touch myself while they watched.
My knees were shaking, and she saw — her eyes flicked over my legs. And I was so, so wet. Heat spread from my core, a ball of fire that overlaid the fear. Not obliterating it, but nudging it into the background.
I was ready to say, let's just hook up and forget about the money. God, what was I thinking? This guy was bad news.
I cleared my throat. "What exactly are you looking for in a 'companion?' Hypothetically, I mean. Best of luck, because I don't think you're going to find anyone."
"I'll find someone." One finger brushed my collarbone, sending electricity through my skin to my pussy. "It would be nice if it were you. I think you'd be perfect."
I gulped warm beer. "Get to the point."
"We meet three times a week." Her gaze held mine. "My room, my way. We work out the schedule together. I pay you two hundred dollars the first time, like I showed you. After that, a hundred each time. We don't see other people. We continue the arrangement until the end of spring semester when I graduate."
"And…what's it like? Doing it your way."
A light finger stroked up my arm.
"Rough, sometimes. Messy. I'll find your buttons and push them. Don't worry, you'll like it too. I promise you'll come when we're together."
I stared up at her, speechless.
"Don't make promises you can't keep," I said when I found my voice.
She was close again, looming over me, her lips almost near enough to kiss.
"I never make promises I can't keep."
"I can't breathe," I whispered.
"Seems like a good sign, doesn't it?" She rubbed my leg higher.
I shuddered under her touch, realizing that I was petting her shoulder like I was trying to calm myself.
"How long is each…" I searched for a word. "Session? Visit? Fuckfest? Are we talking twenty minutes or three hours?"
"As long as we need, to do things my way." She leaned back. I couldn't look away from those pale eyes.
"You can only come so many times before you run out of juice." Shit, that was beer number two talking.
"But you can come all night long." Her voice peeled off my V-neck and leggings.
My empty cup crumpled in my hand. "No, I can't." My breath was coming in bursts, and I couldn't believe I was having this intimate discussion with a stranger. "Sometimes, I can't come at all."
"Sure you can," she said, as matter-of-fact as if she were talking about hitting the gym. She toyed with my waist, brushing the bare skin below my shirt. "You just haven't tried. Or you haven't found a guy who can take you there."
"Don't talk to me about not trying," I snapped, off-kilter and rattled. "You have no idea how damn hard I try."
A little smile played over Lisa's lips. Her brown eyes half-closed, and she said nothing. Those lazy eyelids didn't fool me: she was on the hunt, and my anger was spilled blood.
"You want a girl to commit to a whole semester, right off the bat? That's crazy talk. Take my advice, make the first time a trial." I was chattering. Her flat gaze didn't waver. "Not that I'm interested." A lie. "I don't like you." True. "You freak me out." True.
She raised her eyebrows. "Hot."
"Seriously?"
"Wait and see."
"Would you be mean to me in bed?" I barely recognized the little voice coming out of me.
Her eyes flamed, twin bursts of heat piercing blue ice, and her nostrils flared. No question about it — that huge body caged a wild animal, aroused and waiting to burst out.
"Yes." She squeezed my leg. "I would."
I shuddered at the dark promise in her words. "I don't want to have sex for money," I whispered.
A light touch on the back of my neck raised goosebumps over every inch of my skin.
"But you're thinking about it, aren't you?" she whispered back.
Jesus, my panties were soaked, my pussy was gushing, and I was fucking terrified. I'd never wanted a guy so badly. Walk away, walk away, walk away, my mind chanted.
"Two hundred dollars is not enough for the first time," I blurted out.
She rolled her eyes. "You want me to go to the ATM?"
"Yes."
"Fine." A huge hand closed around mine. "Like you said, Jennie: a trial. We'll see how it is to spend a night together."
"I'm texting my friend to tell her where I am," I babbled. "I'm telling James."
"Go ahead. Send out a bulletin to the whole school. I don't care who knows."
God, she really didn't. I'd never seen someone so immune to what people thought.
I grabbed my coat and followed Lisa out of the pool room. As we passed the dance floor, I waved frantically to James, pointing to Lisa, mouthing "I'm going outside with her."
James flashed me a grin and a big thumbs-up.
When Lisa says she'll do something, she'll do it.
"You can't tell anyone about the money," I said desperately.
She shouldered swiftly through the crowd, pulling me behind her as I texted one-handed to Rosé. Hanging out with dude named Lisa at Kappa Sig. Call in an hour. If I don't answer call James. The room surged with drunk college kids, but people parted to let us through every step of the way.
"I won't tell, Jennie. You have my word."