The World That Never Will Be chapter 31
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
7/2/2021
CHAPTER 31
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." – maybe not actually Lao Tzu
Aqua rose with the morning sun. The dawn tasted new; there'd be dew on the grass. She was cold.
The ceiling seemed a lot closer.
...it was the tent fabric again.
The clock had struck twelve on their little vacation.
Sephiroth had woken her up in the middle of the night to unmake the spell, saying he didn't know if it was safe for her to stay inside while he did it, and he'd apologized and she'd thought it was silly because she'd had fair warning and they'd both gotten another use out of the good shower first.
She'd saved him plenty of hot water. In retrospect that may not have been a concern, but it was important to be considerate.
Oh.
...nice to know he thought so, too.
She caught Sephiroth prowling the perimeter of their campsite, debriding the fraying filaments of the remaining illusionary barrier; he caught her in a hug. Aqua made no effort to keep the goofy smile off her face.
"Thanks. For being my hero. For giving me a safe place."
"Of course."
"Sephiroth?" she mumbled into the hug.
"Yes?"
"I need to continue on. To find Terra, to heal Ven, to make Xehanort pay. I'm not going to wait anymore. I learned that in darkness. I'm not okay. I don't know if I ever will be. Maybe the darkness will never let me go. But I have to do this. And... maybe it won't matter if I'm not okay, if I can help the rest of my friends."
"It should matter. It matters to me."
Of all the sweet things he'd said to her...
"Don't cry, Master Aqua," Sephiroth soothed, "If you are ready, so am I, and there's nothing more to be gained by staying here. I assume you plan to gather information in town?"
"Yes. If I can get in touch with Merlin, or Mickey, or Yen Sid, they could help us."
Sephiroth asked who Yen Sid was.
"He keeps track of the comings and goings of light and darkness. He's very wise, and very powerful, and he'll know what to do about Xehanort, if he's alive."
"A good beginning," Sephiroth agreed. "Are you going to go by yourself?"
Am I? Aqua tried to be objective, but her head was full of fluff.
Aqua thought about Sephiroth.
About the sword, and the darkness he could not extinguish, and how every (beautiful) inch of him screamed 'intimidation'. And the look on Cloud's face... the hatred, the defeat, and then the ...nothing at all.
She should probably go into Radiant Garden alone.
It was hard to imagine Sephiroth asking normally for things. People would be afraid, wouldn't they? Or maybe he would... make them not afraid. Aqua didn't want to see it.
Keys were tools to solve problems, but swords were made for one purpose only.
But... maybe that was unfair.
...did he have the kind of shape-shifting ability other gods were rumored to have? She couldn't think of a polite way to bring it up.
Was she selfish, or weak, for wanting him with her...?
"Er, do you want to come with me?" Aqua asked, "I know you said you have enemies there, but... I don't want to leave you behind. What do you want to do?"
Evidently, her reasoning was transparent, or he suffered similar conflict.
"What I want...? No. You are correct. It's an unnecessary risk. If my enemies attack me, I will kill them and that won't help your investigation. You'll be given a warmer reception without my company."
"I'm sorry."
Sephiroth repeated gentle, amused negation, "I forgive you the practical choice, Master Aqua. We'll have other opportunities, in other towns, once the darkness is dead."
...his was the best forgiveness.
"Then, will you wait here for me?"
"I'd rather not be idle. I have my own leads to pursue, to contribute to our cause. I know an Underworld contact who might be... useful."
Aqua couldn't believe it.
"You're friends with Hades?"
"We are... acquainted," Sephiroth grimaced, for her benefit. "I've mentioned it before."
"But he cannot be trusted! He's allied with the darkness!"
"Yes, so he may be familiar with Xehanort. He'll know, without a doubt, who is alive. I can ask about your friends."
"...and he'll tell you the truth?"
"Yes."
Aqua wasn't happy. But... who was she to dictate who someone's friends should be? She'd be mad, if Sephiroth decided Terra and Ven weren't good enough for her.
"Be careful," she warned.
"You don't need to worry for me, Master Aqua."
He didn't actually add, "If anything, worry for Hades," but Aqua couldn't deny the thrill she felt at his wicked grin.
"Yes, I do," she teased. "Be careful."
"Alright," he laughed, "I will."
"I will, too."
"I'll miss you."
"It won't be long," Sephiroth assured.
"Yeah, but I'll still miss you."
...if I start kissing you, I'll never want to stop.
Focus, Aqua!
"Do you remember, what I promised you, in Darkness?"
No, she didn't.
"You were unconscious at the time. I promised I'd be always by your side."
"You did?"
"Yes. And you have given me a means to keep my promise..." Sephiroth held up his wayfinder.
Aqua smiled the fateful words, "We'll find our way back to each other."
"Know that if you need help, you will not be alone."
"You won't be, either. My magic will protect you."
"I know."
Her heart soared, because she knew his absolute confidence wasn't misplaced.
"I'd best be on my way, then." She gave him one final squeeze and reluctantly let go. She'd remember the feel of his leather on her fingertips.
"I will be at the Coliseum. Good luck, Master Aqua."
"You too. Bye."
She started walking, and when she turned to look back, she saw the portal of darkness closing behind him.
Sephiroth exulted in her remarkable progress; from clinging to him in Darkness and begging for his shield, to this. Brave Master Aqua. His precious ally, who had given him so much, with whom he shared trust.
...should he have stayed?
The novelty of shopping, of gift-seeking for Aqua, of walking hand-in-hand with her, held an innocence none would believe of him. Ha! The Angel, reformed in the name of love! He would have relished their confusion.
This was more efficient.
She may have wanted him to come with her, but she'd chosen differently.
Possessiveness was only attractive in small doses.
...he could be at her side in an instant. He could find her in any darkness. He'd guard her from any attempt on her light, he'd protect her if she spiraled into despondence she could not face alone. He would arrive, in fatal glory, tearing a rift between worlds, poised for dramatic rescue...
Sephiroth dismissed his worry.
Radiant Garden was a nice town. He'd had fun piloting Cloud through it.
...and yet, always at the forefront of his mind was how easily he could destroy it. He should be bored of the thought, but it did not go away.
The Coliseum would be swarming with travelers, a vaulted trove of knowledge in their tales. And challengers! Even if they would be easy kills.
There was a reason he'd been billed anonymous, after all!
Sephiroth allowed himself a modicum of anticipation. Perhaps he could secure a resurrection for her Master Eraqus. Would that be an appropriate surprise? Or should he ask Master Aqua, first?
...he would ask her.
If Hades refused to help, he'd look for a lamp. The parrot should be simple to locate. An exotic bird, insufferably loud, chained to the habitat of human luxury.
The others barely deserved mention. Maleficent would delight in conceiving an impossible price. Ursula's specialty was too narrow, unless Xehanort had a penchant for deep-sea diving. That... could not be ruled out.
Hades was his best bet. Almost definitely alive and likely to be well-disposed towards him, and potentially an entire Underworld of souls to question.
...which Sephiroth was technically prohibited from doing personally. They had an agreement.
He sent instructions for Cloud to join him once the books had been returned to the library.
She'd explored the path before. Beyond the harmless crystals and scattering pebbles in the ravines, up a craggy incline, cresting the dark fog that covered the depths, to the blue-green mosaic plaza. A once-grand approach. To Radiant Garden's broken gates.
Aqua passed underneath the warped metal portcullis.
The walls were lined with babbling fountains, ornately sculptured, ensconced with potted greenery.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" A snub-nosed woman in yellow shoved her out of the way; she stumbled. She'd forgotten about crowds. She vetoed her reflex to draw Master's Defender. Relax, Aqua.
Radiant Garden was bustling. Foot traffic, and shops playing music, and the laughing games of children. It deserved its name; a bastion of Light, she was surrounded by hearts, so many peaceful living things, with hopes and dreams for good. There were still shadows; some people carried weapons, but...
It was wonderful.
Overwhelming, but Aqua forgave herself the ghosts of tears. She'd been so fearful, and now...
This wasn't the place of her nightmares.
This could hardly be called the same city, unless she squinted near to blindness.
...she was as lost as when she'd first come here.
There was a skateboard in the middle of the road. She moved it aside so nobody would trip.
Aqua hesitated. How had this worked, before? How was she supposed to find anyone?
Just... start asking people at random? Just... trust strangers on the street?
It seemed dangerous. A relic of innocence she ought to discard.
...I can't believe I got away with that naivety.
But what did she have to be afraid of?
She had enough munny. She had a keyblade. She could blow up any of these buildings with a single spell if she wanted.
...not that she would!
Ha!
I know the answer.
I'm afraid of betrayal. This being a different place, a different time, leaving me behind... is its own kind of betrayal.
The light is here, and yet...
...I don't belong here.
Will I ever?
There really is no going back.
"Excuse me... I'm looking for information about a man named Xehanort. Can you help me?"
Sephiroth touched down on the rubble of Olympus Coliseum.
He'd made his entrance spectacular for old time's sake, wreathed in his haloed orrery of light, his descent smiting the earth, but there were no gasps of awe. No panicked shuffling on trampled sand, no bloodthirsty cheers to take up the chant of his name.
Only defeated silence welcomed him.
Until he felt a presence at his back.
"Hades." Sephiroth didn't turn. He waited for Hades to sidle around to greet him face to face.
"Ah, it's our favorite new god on the block. What can I help you with, Sephy?"
Pedigree was important to the Olympians. Any respect Hades deigned to grant him was for his prowess in the arena, not his godly status. As old aristocracy does not respect new money regardless of its holder's merit.
...it wasn't that new.
...nicknames were the only thing Hades could reasonably hurt him with.
"Don't call me that."
"Where've you been? You never returned my calls." Hades sniffed, long and offensive. "Hanging out in Darkness? Is that why you're so pale? If you got a tan, you'd look like that Ansem fellow. Bit of an uncanny resemblance, if you get my drift. You paying child support for that Riku kid yet?"
Sephiroth scoffed. The circumstances Hades implied were untrue.
"Didja bring me a souvenir?"
"Sorry. Couldn't find the gift shop."
Hades's laugh was grating. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"Obviously."
"Ha! Still got it!"
Sephiroth scowled harder, "Why are you like this?"
Hades shrugged, unflattering, considering the ragged state of his toga. "A little laughter brightens the place up. It's boring, being angry and dour all the time."
"You have my sympathies." It was mostly a lie. Sephiroth generously let Hades continue his rant.
"The titans are in the shop, again! 'Wonder Boy'," Hades made disgusted air quotes, "Smashed them up, again! That boy has no respect for others' property. Big bad daddy Zeus," Hades wiggled the name, "Is a pathetic excuse for a parent."
Sephiroth agreed.
"Not that I know anything about kids. Nope. Just babysit a bunch of idiot demons all day, every day. At the end of my fuse sometimes."
"What happened here?" Sephiroth steered the conversation back to their surroundings. Ruined columns and cracked steps, the stage of martial glory, deceased.
Maybe he could offer to fix it.
So many slain, during his tenure. The power he could have, if he wished...
He could recreate the Coliseum-that-was. Parts of them remembered...
No, he was the only one who remembered. They remembered nothing; their Selfs, dissolved in his.
"Didn't know you cared. You just disappeared."
Hades's sulk could not be real.
"That was not my intent."
"You're still on contract. For at least..." Hades stroked his grotesque chin, "Eight more matches."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Enough."
"Hydra, went on a bit of a rampage," Hades answered, nonchalant. "But it's fine. The new location is doing well."
The 'Underdrome' he'd seen in Cloud's mind? A poor substitute, with too many barrels replacing live opponents. Inconveniently deep in the Underworld. For him, by special invitation only. Pity.
...the other gods of Olympus were similarly barred from trespass. Sephiroth had not contested it.
"Oooh, I like the new bling!" Hades reached with a tendril of smoke towards his wayfinder.
Sephiroth slapped the shadowy claw away.
"Aww, come on, lighten up a little. Oh, hey Cloudy boy! Long time no see, high five?" Hades held up his arm expectantly.
Sephiroth debated on whether to leave Hades hanging. Or if he should kill Hades and inherit an Underworld.
No. He was Life and Death, Everything as One, the World-soul, and would not settle for half. He would erase the whole pantheon at once. No retaliation would ever be possible.
...he wondered what it would be like. To take, to have for his own, beings with claims on divinity, and if Mother had gone so far as that.
And... if he would be lonely, at the end.
He contorted Cloud's expression into a friendly, rictus grin, and an empty palm clapped against Hades's, too loud.
"Whoa. What did you do to him?"
Finally, an audience!
"Cloud is not single-use like the others; he can be brought to heel again and again."
A perfect smirk, and Hades was hooked.
"Right now, the future he feared is real for him. He is living what he thinks my world would have been like, if the heartless had not interrupted. The things he feared I would do to him, and to those he loved. The punishment for failure he thinks he deserves. And all the ways it could have ended," Sephiroth savored the word.
...and Hades's silent enjoyment of his monologue.
"True suffering is intangible. An ideal to be approached, a finest abstraction, mortally unattainable. But the mind knows absolutes beyond the possible. ...I am content with Cloud's approximation."
He was rewarded with Hades's impressed whistle.
...it was a torture he'd longed to describe. Master Aqua would not have appreciated such a thing.
"I admit I find aspects of it distasteful," Sephiroth said. "It's less gratifying than I thought it would be."
"Why?" Hades asked, nervously slicking back the flames he called hair.
"Cloud has no faith that I could choose to do good in the world."
Hades commiserated with a deep sigh, "Ain't that just the way of it."
"So," Hades rubbed his hands together, "How about we get down to business."
It was strange, the things people worried about when they weren't in life-and-death situations, Aqua reflected, after unlocking a car for the sixth grateful citizen who apologetically knew nothing of Xehanort or Yen Sid or Mickey or Terra or Ven or Sora or Kairi or Sora's friend she forgot the name of. Riku.
She had a date (a calendar date!), and time had passed as she'd feared.
Ten years! And apparently, multiple catastrophic conflicts. Radiant Garden was a maze of masonry and rusty pipes, exposed brick and bare stonework, a construction crane on every corner.
But there were also hedges and well-pruned trees, and narrow canals in bright tile, with medium-high waterfalls splashing cooling spray.
Aqua meandered through a tiered marketplace.
She hadn't found any intergalactic outfitters to replace her armor or her glider. 'To Infinity and Beyond' was a toy store.
She didn't need polarized aviator sunglasses. Ven would've tried them on, though.
She didn't need to synthesize anything, and she had enough items from the heartless.
It felt frivolous to browse for clothes. Bold, cubist blocks of black and white were in fashion, with primary color accents, and too many zippers.
There were additional garments on display...
...did Sephiroth like black lace?
No one noticed her blush.
Aqua heard rumors.
"Wasn't Villain's Vale taller yesterday?"
"I think you're right."
"Pete's out of work again. Seems no one is hiring minions."
"The mosquitoes are bad this year."
"Hey, means more revenue from the alien tourists!"
The ice cream shop looked like Scrooge McDuck's head, complete with bill and hat... and moving cartoon eyes. It was sort of unsettling.
Aqua stepped up to the counter.
...no royalberry flavor. Of course. It would've been a limited-time-only promotion, even if it were wildly popular ten years ago.
The ducklings didn't recognize her. She wondered if they were the same ducklings.
She bought herself a vanilla cone because it would be rude not to.
Aqua licked her ice cream and surreptitiously side-eyed the tabloid headlines at a magazine stand.
'Jane Tired of Gorillas, Impending Divorce with Tarzan?'
She wasn't invested in celebrity gossip, but surely that must be false.
'Wicked Queen's Shocking Beauty Secret! Miracle Apples Rich in Antioxidants; Easy Weight Loss by Sleeping it Off!'
No, thanks.
Pinned to a nearby gnawed wooden pole was an ad offering... dog muzzle removal? Aqua peered at the small print: 'Payment accepted in trees'.
Radiant Garden was huge. She'd been wandering for hours without a map; the concept had simply not occurred to her. Street signs failed in their consensus.
Aqua was frustrated.
...the other names had gotten her nowhere.
"Sephiroth? Didn't he kill Aeris? And Cloud rescued her from the Underworld!"
"What a romantic story! Is it true?" swooned the group of girls, not her age, giggling in fine dresses and ostentatious curls.
"No, I thought he was the hero? A year ago, he fought on our side, right?"
"I was embarrassed to look at him. He's so handsome!"
Aqua narrowed her eyes at potential competition before deciding that was silly.
"I wish someone'd come rescue me."
"Oh, yes! Like a Princess!" They fluttered their paper fans.
Aqua walked a few blocks and tried again.
"He's dangerous, miss. I get the feeling he doesn't care for people much. You've seen the sword?"
"One black wing. A bad omen, means a fallen angel."
"'s a good thing Cloud killed 'im," huffed an elderly gentleman with checkered suspenders, who might've been a dog, or a cat, or a horse.
"They say... people go missing when he's around. There's no proof, it could be the heartless, but..."
"Or maybe he's a heartless, himself..."
Aqua couldn't stay silent. She put her hands on her hips. "No, he isn't heartless! It's mean to say those things!"
"Whatever you say, lady," drawled a young boy with a mouse-eared baseball cap.
"Lemme guess," Hades said, and gestured to Cloud. "Is it that time again? Where you kill one of his friends, so he has to do a favor for me to revive them, and in return for his service I do a little something for you too? It's kind of a roundabout way to do it. Not that I mind playing your games, it's just..."
Sephiroth chuckled, cordially, as was expected of him. "No, that's not what I came for."
Hades sighed and scratched his neck. "It's not about Zack is it? Cause no can do."
"No. Something else. Something easy, with your power. Information."
"Flatterer. Whad'ya wanna know, Sephy?"
He must not arouse suspicion. That would jeopardize Master Aqua's plans.
...her lovely face, and how she hated to cry, but did it fiercely. Her pain he would soothe. Her beautiful rage, he would stoke, and aid her vengeance, and comfort her when it was done. Hold her safe, let her do the same for him...
Sephiroth felt keenly the distance.
"I need to know if certain people are alive. I have a list of names."
"Okay, shoot."
"Demyx."
"Nope."
"That's a shame. He was entertaining. Sora."
"Yes," Hades scowled, "And the brat's a big time hero now. Can't off him directly."
"Maleficent."
"Still kickin'. She will be, as long as anyone remembers her. Neat trick, huh?"
"It is. Mr. Toad."
"Are you kidding? Calling your bluff, here. No. Car crash."
"Terra."
"Now that's a name I haven't heard in forever. He's alive."
"Ventus."
"Alive. You making a hit list or something?"
"Not exactly. Yen Sid."
"Alive, of course! Don't go riling him up! Yeah, I'm even telling you, hot stuff."
"One more. Xehanort."
"He's complicated. Ansem, Xemnas, Xehanort. Same guy. He's not dead. Well, not dead dead. Split his heart into pieces. Counts as alive. You thinking about an alliance? Finally decide the darkness is worth studying?"
...the same person? Three, for the price of one. Sephiroth had more to gain than he'd thought.
"Perhaps."
"I don't teach classes. What's this really about?"
As irritating as he was, Hades deserved a warning. He had been a gracious host, in the past.
"I'm going to destroy the darkness. You should distance yourself from it."
Hades bent over, wheezing. "What are you, an idiot? The darkness, the heartless, they're a resource to be used. You can't, anyway. You're ambitious, I'll give you that, but your odds against the darkness aren't good."
"Oh?" Sephiroth challenged.
"You're serious? Oooh boy. Sorry buddy. I can't help you. If it weren't impossible already, I'd have to stop you. Darkness can't be beat for sealing the contracts; fewer souls can wriggle through the lines. The armies of the heartless... too valuable. Got it?"
"Yes."
"But turn that frown upside down, prettyboy! It's time to discuss payment. Lemme see," Hades snapped a finger...
...but drew a blank. "I can't think of anything so horrible you wouldn't do it."
...it was true that he didn't have many inhibitions to heed. His personal code of honor currently allowed for anything he wished to do.
...Master Aqua's did not.
Hades would take great delight in revealing his... misdeeds. Sephiroth hoped the required task wasn't too extreme.
"You haven't asked me to kill Hercules yet."
"Very funny. Look at this guy, stand-up comic of the year. Did you forget? We need a mortal champion to act against our fellows. It's in the rules. So you. don't. count." Each word was punctuated by a phantom jab at his chest, poisoned with pity for his ignorance.
Sephiroth remained an eidolon of self-control. He'd known he would be tested.
"I like you, Sephy. So I'll make this easy. How about a little arena match? Your pet versus mine. Whad'ya say, wanna go a few rounds?"
Ah. The casual bloodsport betting angle. Very traditional.
...this might be the last time.
"Alright."
"Then it's a deal. Cerberus!"
The great, black, three-headed mastiff materialized in earth-shaking fury.
"Cloud." Sephiroth moved his piece forward. The rugged terrain should prove interesting.
"Whoa, you totally tricked him out!" Hades spread Cloud's wing with a shadowy tendril, "When I win, I think I'll paint racing stripes on it."
Hades wasn't going to win.
Sephiroth smirked, "Will you be a good sport when you lose?"
In a chain-link back alley, Aqua kicked a rock into a garbage can.
Neon signs flickered to life across the street:
'Cosmic Wisdom! Lost Things Found! Etc!'
'Prestidigitonium Recycling Center'
The roof bristled with umbrellas waiting for rain.
The door was ajar.
Maybe...
Aqua knocked.
A man's voice shouted, "Ah yes, Archimedes, did you bring the sugar?"
"Merlin? Is that you?" Aqua ventured.
The door swung open by itself.
Merlin slumped in a tall orange upholstered chair, behind a desk which didn't hide his socked-and-sandaled feet. He pinched his glasses further up his nose and straightened his sky-blue wizard's cap.
"You're not Archimedes! You're..." Merlin fiddled with his beard, which was even longer than she remembered, "Master Aqua!"
"Yes."
"Come in, girl, come in! Have a seat."
Aqua shrieked as an animated wooden dining chair bumped the backs of her knees, tumbled her onto its cushion, and pirouetted to sit her opposite him.
When the room stopped spinning, she noticed a blank computer screen in the corner, and a toy ornithopter hanging from the ceiling. Towers of teetering books bridged the gaps in the open concept floor plan. She tried not to sneeze.
"I'm so glad I found you," Aqua hurried, before any more furniture could ambush her, "Please, can you tell me..."
"Aha! A severe case of befuddlement if ever I saw one!" Merlin proclaimed.
"...Excuse me? I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, oh yes, I understand. You'd rather not discuss your personal problems. Apologies. Okay then, what is it?"
...if she wasn't confused before, she was now.
"I need to know... if Yen Sid is alive?" She regretted her weak, pleading inflection.
"Of course he is! Why wouldn't he be?"
Aqua's heart swelled with relief. It was going to be alright. After everything...
"Where've you been anyway?" Merlin stared into space, "The Realm of Darkness... I'm sorry my girl."
"Me too."
"How did you escape? No... don't tell me..."
Aqua got tired of waiting for his guess, "Sephiroth rescued me."
"Sephiroth." Merlin's beard hid his expression, but his eyes grew dark.
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"Siding with him will earn you fear and hatred..."
"He's been very good to me," she countered.
"I see. They say..."
"What do they say?" Aqua demanded. She was done with rumors for today.
"They say love is greater than gravity."
"Oh."
"If you are allies of necessity, I will not disparage him to you."
"...thank you."
"But, be careful of your light, Master Aqua."
"I will."
Merlin patted his pockets, "It seems my role in all this is... here."
He dropped a... jelly candy? into her hand.
"What's this?"
"Keys to the gummi ship out back. I haven't flown it in a while, give the battery a zap."
"Uh, thanks?" But... she had a keyblade...
Her chair was already propelling her towards the door. "No, wait, I have to ask about Xeha..."
"It has a GPS, next year's latest model, should navigate you to Yen Sid's Tower. Or anywhere else you'd like to go. Now, shoo." Merlin waved her away.
Aqua examined the buttons and levers on the dashboard.
"Merliiiiinnn! How do I fly this thing?!" she yelled, during the rapid ascent she had not initiated.
"You'll figure it out! It's not as hard as being a squirrel!"