The World That Never Will Be chapter 33
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
8/1/2022
CHAPTER 33
He'd never flown in one of these before. A gummi ship, Master Aqua told him, that she'd borrowed from Merlin.
An improbable spacefaring vessel. Surprisingly sturdy. For a ship apparently made of blocks, sugar-spun from hopes and dreams, enchanted, it was loaded with impressive armaments.
His wing darkened the tiny cabin, despite his thoughtful maneuvering.
Sephiroth folded himself into the passenger seat next to Master Aqua and tried to peer over her shoulder at the controls.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"The Mysterious Tower."
"What a... descriptive name," Sephiroth remarked dryly. "Do you know the way?"
"The ship does."
An autopilot was convenient. He could safely distract her, hold her in his arms if he wanted. But there wasn't room. The armrests would dig into their sides.
A chime, pretending to be courteous, drew his attention upwards to flashing overhead lights.
'No Smoking!' and 'Fasten Your Seatbelt!' signs blinked orange-red, right in his face.
...he adjusted his coat, and complied. Master Aqua had already buckled hers.
Sephiroth let the rush of takeoff flood his awareness. The vibration of the Firaga spell powering the engines was satisfying. He watched Olympus Coliseum peacefully dwindle to nothing.
A smooth ride, and fast.
And pretty Master Aqua, next to him!
He looked at her. At her blue eyes with lush black eyelashes, her hair that was a darker shade of her name, her lips narrowed in dutiful concentration. At her neck held high with bravery, the tight crossed straps on her back and chest, her long white sleeves brushing the blue cloth at her waist (a clear match for the wings he could manifest on his hips!), and her guiding hands upon the console. At her light. At everything about her that was a mixture of sadness and hope and rage.
She shouldn't have to be sad.
"Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!" the chime spangled, and the stalwart signs winked out. "Passengers are free to move around the cabin."
Ha! As if there was anywhere to go! They occupied the only seats.
The message repeated twice. Master Aqua banged on the cluttered dash and told the recorded voice to shut up.
He wouldn't mind, if when the darkness was gone, he'd have to travel this way.
Aqua had thought her sulking was obvious.
Eventually, Sephiroth noticed.
"What's wrong?" he asked. As if he had no idea.
Which frustrations could she admit without going in circles? Was it safe to tell him about Ven?
She wanted him to kiss her difficult day away, but he...
...her love for him was difficult, too.
"I missed you," Sephiroth said.
"I missed you, too." The words came out, even though she was mad. It was true, although she'd tried to be strong and they'd only been apart a little while.
"Is it about Cloud? I thought you'd be pleased. I've let him go, as I said I would, and relieved him of the burden of the darkness. He will recover. Until then, we're free to hunt down Xehanort, as we discussed."
"No." It wasn't! She'd told herself a dozen times.
"Hades then?"
"You seemed to be having a lot of fun..." Aqua trailed off, accusation already wavering.
"Good. It was meant to appear that way. There were many other things I'd rather be doing."
"Like what?"
"Talking to you, mostly."
...wow.
Sephiroth filled her speechless silence, "I humbled myself for our cause. I came for answers and was met with insults. And I cannot say I was surprised."
Well, at least some of his bitterness matched her own.
Sephiroth's eyes widened, and he laughed, "Oh, you expected...? Ha! So bloodthirsty, Master Aqua!"
The heat rose in her cheeks and she didn't bother to deny it.
"Your rage is beautiful! But your choice of targets lacks foresight. And would you want me to, if Hades and I were really friends as you seem to think?"
"No!" She was ashamed at how quickly he'd revealed her contradiction.
"I will tell you why I haven't killed Hades yet. Do you want to hear? My reasons may comfort you."
Aqua wished his smile was enough. "Yes."
...she'd welcome his excuses, even as she was sickened by her desire for them.
She didn't care what good things he had to say about Hades. What she needed... what he probably planned to show her, he was clever like that... was evidence of whatever scrap of practical compassion he possessed so she could cover up her fear of him.
...and of herself.
Because she wanted Sephiroth for his violence. She'd use his cruelty for her vengeance, was already conspiring to delight in it. Was she supposed to be better than that? Was the light better than that?
Where did justice end?
...with Xehanort of course. It wasn't that complicated.
He'd granted Hades his patience. Brave Master Aqua was much more deserving.
Sephiroth understood her desperate purpose. Did she think he had not noticed her distress? He'd willed his hands clean of Cloud's blood to not dirty the ship; it was not enough.
Maybe he should have accompanied her into town. It would have been an opportunity to show he was trustworthy and build new memories with her.
...but he hadn't wanted to drag her into another ambush. If Cloud's friends had pushed their luck, seeing him truly in action would have been a greater disaster than any of Master Aqua's misgivings.
Sacrificial virgins. Another one of your pets.
Sephiroth wondered if he should stoop to defending Hades at all after what Hades had said.
He would humor her with his compassion, so newly revived. Just as he could brag to Hades about the psychic dismemberment of his nemesis, he could confide in Master Aqua about more... traditionally sentimental topics.
Sephiroth decided he was amused to dictate the story of his mercy.
Listening to Sephiroth talk was way better than feeling sorry for herself.
"You're right that I could," Sephiroth acknowledged, smug praise for her dangerous wager. "It's possible I already should have."
Aqua crossed her arms close, a self-hug against the cold backdrop of stars blurring by.
Sephiroth sighed. "The games we play are stupid. We both know it. If you and I succeed in destroying the darkness, this will be the last time Hades and I meet on friendly terms. No longer will I pretend to be his equal. We will become enemies. I thought... I wondered if I will miss what we had. If I will be lonely. And so I indulged in this."
How easily he elicited her pang of sympathy. That was okay, right? She could be proud of her kindness.
"Maybe 'kill' is going too far," Aqua allowed, "But it would've been satisfying to see him roughed up a little."
"Ha! Your approach has merit, in that respect! However, it is to my... our advantage that he continue to underestimate me. Hades is obnoxious, but he is useful. If someone important," his pointed look at Aqua was unmistakable, "Were to die, it'd be convenient for him to owe me a favor."
Her heart surged with triumph, still fragile. Someone important. She was important to him.
"I shouldn't defend him," Sephiroth said, "But when I first arrived on these worlds, furious and broken, weak when I was meant to be the strongest, choking on the Styx, Hades fished me out. I owed him a debt for that. He had a very hands-off management style in the Coliseum, so I didn't mind. And... he didn't treat me as as much of an outsider as the others did. In the beginning, that was... nice. I almost had a place to belong."
"Oh. I didn't know. I'm sorry." She'd never have wished for Sephiroth to hurt someone who had helped him.
Ten years. Radiant Garden, the Realm of Light itself, rendered alien. The past, perhaps unrecoverable.
After Xehanort...
...she would have to find a place to belong, too.
"He says things like his cooking is to die for. He has the worst anger issues of anybody, maybe because he can't hide the flames. Easy to read, easy to provoke. I used to think he was funny, comically incompetent. Once I set foot in his revolving door of an Underworld... he'll do pretty much anything to get me out of there."
Aqua almost giggled, picturing Sephiroth getting the boot and trying to fit his wing and hair and coat into one section of a turnstile.
"We have an understanding. But I would not call it friendship. We don't trust each other."
Trust was the key. She trusted Sephiroth, right?
Yes, she did. Even if she worried, sometimes.
"I see," Aqua said, "But it doesn't forgive his darkness."
"No, I suppose not," Sephiroth smiled. "Fortunately, I am making better allies as we speak."
She blushed. Yes, she absolutely was better than Hades! And so was Sephiroth.
"You gave good advice, Master Aqua, when you suggested 'one thing at a time'. But I grow tired of constant waiting. I wonder if my patience is only weakness."
"No, I don't think so," Aqua comforted.
"You've given me a great gift, in sharing an immediate goal. Xehanort, and the darkness itself." The cramped conditions cut his grandiose arm-sweep short, "I want to work towards that, not be sidetracked by Hades."
"Okay."
"Do not worry. At the end of time, he will wish he had helped us."
"He didn't?" Aqua was puzzled, and the tiniest bit vindicated. After all, Merlin had stuck her on this ship without telling her much of anything.
"I got a good deal on the information I received, but he doesn't believe the darkness can be destroyed."
Aqua groaned. "You told him what we're planning? Why?!"
"As a final courtesy. And for the same reason I asked you about the darkness. I don't know enough."
"Will he try to stop us?"
"No. He's never taken me seriously."
Aqua decided he was very wise.
"You can fiddle with the radio if you want," Aqua offered.
Sephiroth declined. "No. I'd rather we talk, or silence. Will you... tell me another story about your friends?"
...so much for her stealthily discovering what music he liked.
"Um, sure. Let me think."
Aqua searched for a beginning.
"When we were kids, me and Terra and Ven did a lot of silly stuff."
"Oh?" He was already hanging on her every word. His attention chased away her fear of grief at memory's recounting.
"We'd heard about gingerbread houses, and a story of being lost in the woods. There weren't any forests in the Land of Departure, so we had to imagine our own. And none of us knew what gingerbread tasted like. It was... some kind of cookie? and you could make really fast little men from it with magic? and also build an entire house? But the house didn't usually run away."
Sephiroth concurred with her childhood notion. Houses did not usually run away.
"We fought every day over who would get to be Rapunzel, the wicked witch who baked the children into a pie."
Sephiroth seemed ready to interrupt...
Aqua preempted him, "Yes, I know we had it mixed up. If I ever meet the real princess Rapunzel, I'm going to be so embarrassed. Shut up."
If he started laughing now, she would, too, and then it'd be hard to finish the story.
"The rules were kind of like... tag? Or hide and seek? ...but we left Ven 'lost in the woods' a lot. That wasn't very nice. I wish we'd done better."
"You couldn't have known," Sephiroth said. "Children don't. Compassion is a learned skill."
Maybe? Aqua wasn't certain. Children's hearts were supposed to be full of light.
"Anyway, eventually, we needed to make a gingerbread house. We went to Master Eraqus about it. He baked cookies for us. We volunteered, er, demanded to help. The cookies were terrible. Terra-ble! Get it? Because Terra did not believe in measuring things out right. Master Eraqus had flour in his hair and looked like an old man."
"Ha."
Aqua gloried in the reaction her pun deserved. "The cookies were too small. We couldn't build a house with them, let alone one that Master Eraqus could live in, too! We needed bigger cookies. Big sheets, like boards, or big logs to stack into a cabin."
"Were you able to get enough ingredients?"
"Nope. We were banned from the kitchen for two weeks. But we had an idea. Gingerbread was a sort of orange-brown. Like cardboard. Cardboard was better to build with, but worse to eat."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, don't look at me like that! Besides, the moral of the story was that you weren't supposed to eat the house, so cardboard was okay."
"Completely reasonable."
"Terra and I sat in our not-really-gingerbread house and waited for Ven to get lost in the woods and find us and come inside and be baked into a pie. Turns out, Ven was not that stupid."
Sephiroth snorted.
"It rained. We were miserable in our gingerbread house. The story must have been a total lie. We felt so betrayed, thinking of Ven warm and dry in the castle. But... we didn't dare go in. Because then he'd bake us into a pie. It was only fair."
"Completely reasonable," Sephiroth repeated.
"Master Eraqus had to come get us. He basically had to drag us kicking and screaming back indoors, while we wailed about not wanting to die. I imagine he was very confused."
"Yes, I imagine so."
"But then we were warm, and safe, and there were still cookies. Ven had saved some for us, he'd been worried, either that or he was practicing tempting us into a false sense of security, and maybe we praised him for being in-character... and we were the ones to eat them. We tore those cookies to shreds like the valiant warriors and heroes and dragons we were and devoured every crumb. And all was right with the world. The end."
"Thank you for the story, Master Aqua," Sephiroth said, with all sincerity.
His happiness was contagious. And she was the one with the power to spark it.
"You're welcome. It was fun to remember. Thanks for listening."
"Of course."
They watched each other's smiling reflections in the glass of the front viewport.
The bobblehead hula girl on the dash bobbled.
On the console, another dot was added to the progress bar along their projected route.
The autopilot scribed a steady course.
Time passed. Stars went by.
There wasn't room to cuddle. Maybe Sephiroth could do something to the space? She'd never modify Merlin's property without permission, but Sephiroth might. He'd done the library books. As long as the change was temporary...
No, it wouldn't be safe with them inside the ship.
They were already sitting very close together. She'd have to be content with what they had.
Sephiroth decided he wasn't done listening to her voice.
"You must be quite hungry, Master Aqua, to speak of eating cardboard," Sephiroth smirked.
"I was just a kid! It was an isolated incident!"
...she looked more affronted than he'd intended. He wouldn't tease her about food again. She would get honey in his hair.
She added a scolding to her defense, "That's rude. And who are you to talk, Mr. I-ate-all-the-coconut-chocolates?"
"You didn't want them," Sephiroth pointed out.
"Of course I didn't. They're horrible."
"I apologize." He wasn't exactly sorry. His plan had worked.
"And yeah, I am. Hungry. Oh, I know! I bet you can make better popcorn than Hades!"
Sephiroth flinched.
...she was good at reminding him his deific knowledge was riddled with holes.
Did she know, how effective her barb was? How striking, her lesson in humility? No, her laughing challenge seemed hopeful. That was worse.
He wanted to help her. He wanted to provide.
He might be able to conjure something edible. He'd never attempted it. How would such a spell work? How much power would it take?
Heh. He'd need to keep the ingredients secret. Or perhaps simpler magic would do? But to be truly vitalizing...
The darkness nagged, begged without fear.
The oily, slinking darkness, that tainted life too far beyond his preference. Extraction, absorption possible, but so little, and so revolting. Dangerous to control, rebellion mindless. Eager to poison.
He would not feed it to Master Aqua.
"I can't," Sephiroth admitted. "I don't know how. Not without using the darkness."
"Oh." Her disappointment hurt more than revealing his shortcoming.
"But I could learn. You're right, it's something I should be able to do."
"It's okay."
His scrutiny of her swift acceptance unearthed no blame within. She was disappointed in the current lack of solution, not in him. How lucky he was, to have her for a friend! Her faith would be repaid.
"I'll practice, after this. Zack knew a recipe for caramel corn. He promised he would, but he never wrote it down for me."
"That's sad. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. I'm sure I can figure it out." He inflected renewed confidence to spur her to stubborn cheerfulness.
"It's not an emergency or anything. We can probably stop somewhere, or... I'll check the foldout compartments, just in case."
He joined in her search. Their elbows bumped in the small cabin.
They found a frog-shaped ashtray offering potent ginger lozenges, a few alibi-ensuring receipts for gas, a pair of mismatched clean socks, and several translucent bags of rainbow mouse-eared gummies.
"I can't tell if these are food or spare parts," Master Aqua joked, "And I am not hungry enough to risk the ginger lozenges."
He grinned, and thought about how her kisses would burn and if he would like it.
"What did they say about me, in town?" Sephiroth asked.
Aqua boggled. Did he have some power to know when his name was spoken, or was he just that narcissistic, or was she just that obvious?
Probably the last two.
"No one called you a hero," Aqua said (that one confused woman didn't count). "Did you really destroy a world?"
"Is there one you want gone?"
"No!"
Sephiroth nodded, overacting supreme accommodation, "Let me know if you change your mind."
What was she supposed to do with that?
Aqua decided she didn't like gods. You could never tell if they were serious.
...or maybe you could, but she didn't want to.
They exchanged information, like they should have at the start.
"I saw Ven," Aqua disclosed. Instant relief flooded her heart.
"Hades said he was alive," Sephiroth confirmed.
"But he's not awake. He was right where I'd left him (Imprisoned him! snarled her treacherous guilt). There was no change. If something happened to me, I don't know if he'd ever be able to get out."
"Why didn't you bring him with you?"
Aqua laughed, hollowly, "Because, like before... I thought it was safer to leave him behind."
"You don't trust Yen Sid to help him?" Sephiroth's severity jolted her to more present concern.
"I don't know. He told me, that all I'd have to do was believe in my friends, and they'd come back to me. But belief wasn't enough."
Sephiroth did not advocate otherwise.
Aqua tugged at her burrowed sliver of suspicion, "Xehanort, Yen Sid, and Eraqus were friends, long ago. Was Yen Sid really so blind as to Xehanort's plans?"
"I wouldn't know."
"Or maybe I'm being paranoid? I can't tell... if the darkness is messing with my head, or if I'm only afraid of it."
A sliding sound, a shifting. Sephiroth's wing, rubbing against the glass of the viewport. If their seating arrangement had been different, he could have enveloped her in it, like he clearly wanted to.
"We'll be careful," he agreed.
She reached to hold his hand; he gripped it tightly. An unbreakable connection.