JENNIE

After my first official visit to Lisa's room, I thought I knew what to expect. I'd dress up, making damn sure my hair and makeup were on point. We'd start with a friendly chat. I'd confess embarrassing truths while she divulged almost nothing. She'd tease the hell out of me, insult me, and give me as many orgasms as I could handle.

Then we'd screw, and she'd pay me.

I was wrong.

On Wednesday, I showed up at ten pm on the dot. Lisa didn't say a word. She shut the door, dragged me to the bed, and pulled down my panties and leggings in a single tug. Unzipping her fly with one hand, she felt between my legs with the other. When her fingers met my slickness, she put on a condom and sank into me.

My coat was still on and zipped up. My gloves were still on. I could barely move, my leggings around my ankles, on my back with my feet slung over her shoulder. Her body was a heavy weight, her cock opening me, the one part of her that was bare.

I'd felt so naked, those first two times with Lisa. But fucking fully dressed, our most intimate parts the only skin touching, shockingly hot and wet as I stared into her freezing gaze, was an entirely different kind of naked. It was humiliating, it freaked me out, and her total silence — not even a fucking groan — forced me into silence too. I bit back my moans, trembling underneath her.

At least breakfast was good.

I pictured Lisa sitting in her Econ classes, making a list in that inhumanly precise handwriting: Games to play with Jennie.

The only constants for each visit, besides breakfast and sex, were the two bros who hung around the back door of Kappa Sig like rogue security guards. They were there on Wednesday and back the following Monday. At least they took Fridays off. Rufus always ignored me, and Chase, always tried to chat me up. He called me Cookie Girl.

In Victorian Lit, we were talking about poverty in 19th century novels, and how the writers' living conditions affected their art. I didn't speak up, but I stayed awake and listened, slipping a hand in my purse to touch the bills I earned.

I needed Lisa's money. I wasn't poor or anything. My utilities weren't in danger of being turned off again, but I had a long way to go toward independence. I was trying to be more careful: groceries instead of eating out, free events at night, letting go of Cookie Girl and Pizza Girl, saying no to all the random crap I used to buy.

I kept tucking money in my heart-shaped box, determined to save a few thousand by the end of the semester.

I was going to pay my bills on time.

I was going to show my parents they couldn't control my life through money.

And I was going to throw Jisoo the best fucking bachelorette party the world had ever seen.

But the money seemed to disappear. Most went to expenses, but some went to the health clinic where I got tested. I walked into Lisa's room with the paper clutched in my hand, and we traded our clean results in silence.

The bills, on the other hand, were there, and so were my grades. My shitty grades from last semester.

Two professors, in the courses where I'd gotten D's, were allowing me to redo my final projects. I had my current classes to keep up. I was sinking fast in Victorian Lit. There was Student Senate. The three nights a week in Lisa's room.

All this meant one thing: I needed uppers.

Lucas looked startled when I caught up with him after Victorian Lit. "Back so soon?"

I waited until we turned into the narrow space between buildings that gave us privacy. "I need more."

"That was fast." He whipped out his phone and held the calendar front of my face. "I sold to you during finals in mid-December. It's now Monday, January 28th — a mere six weeks, including winter break."

"Put that away." I blocked the calendar with my hand. "Don't tell me you're tracking when we talk."

He slid the phone into his pocket. "Point is, I didn't expect you for at least two months, Lady Jennie. More like three, based on the past. What happened to the occasional use for midterms? Exams? Parties where you want to be even bubblier?"

"Do you get judgy with all your customers, or just me?"

"I'm not giving you a handout on credit again."

"It wasn't a handout," I snapped. "I paid you. I have money now."

"New job?" He took off his knitted hat and twirled it lazily around his fingers. Snowflakes drifted onto his curls. "Inheritance from an eccentric great-aunt? Trust fund?"

I folded my arms over my chest. "You don't need to worry about where it's coming from."

Lucas stopped twirling his hat. "You can still clean my place if you need cash," he said after an awkward pause. "Standing offer."

"That's really okay."

He shrugged. "Stop by after eleven tonight and I might have something for you."

"Not tonight," I said quickly.

"I'll be up late."

"I'm busy. All night."

He cocked his head, and I flushed.

"Tomorrow," I said.

"Tomorrow I'm busy. All day."

"Fine." I threw up my hands. "Wednesday."

He jerked a thumb toward the English building. "Are you doing okay in that class? You should participate. Participation is a key part of the grade."

"I'm doing great!" I chirped, and hustled off.

I turned into the B-School, where my study group was meeting. When I reached the second floor, everyone was already in the lounge. Allison from Student Senate was setting her books on the table, and Nate tickled Kyla as she curled up in a ball on the couch.

"I'm napping," she grumbled, pulling her coat over her head.

I dropped my tote bag on a chair. Nate stopped tickling Kyla.

"Jennie, I need to copy your notes from Principles of Finance. I missed class yesterday."

"Hi, Nate." I took out my textbooks. "It's nice to see you too."

Kyla rolled over on the couch, scolding him. "What's wrong with my notes?"

"Now she's awake." Nate strolled to the table and began pawing through my tote bag. A pen fell out and skittered across the floor.

"Hey." I mock-slapped his hand away. "You want something, you ask for it." Lord help me, I sounded like Lisa.

Nate raised his eyebrows at me. "I don't want a 'something.' I want snacks. You always bring them."

Kyla perked up. "Snacks? Where?" She raced to the table.

"I didn't bring any today."

"ID, please." Nate held out his hand. "You can't be Jennie Kim."

"No snacks?" Kyla complained. "You always bring snacks."

"I didn't, okay?" I flushed. "I'm trying to save money."

Nate guffawed. "Okay, now I really need to see your ID."

Doors slammed and footsteps echoed on the stairs across the lounge; class was over on the third floor, and people streamed down the stairwell. A lean figure jogged down the last of the steps, his smooth gait all too familiar to me.

"Kai, my man!" Nate called.

Kai swung into the lounge and slapped Nate on the back. When he saw me, he held out his arms for a hug.

Everyone was watching. I didn't want to raise any rumors that we weren't on good post-breakup terms. It would look mean not to hug him.

Reluctantly, I obliged, trying a quick arm-around-the-shoulders maneuver, but he pulled me in close.

"You look tired," he murmured, one hand drifting down my back. "I haven't stopped worrying about you."

"I'm fine."

"It's so sweet how you guys are still friends," Kyla commented, spinning her pen, as I freed myself from Kai's embrace.

"Of course." He widened his impossibly long-lashed eyes. "That connection doesn't just go away. In fact, I'm writing a song to celebrate this friendship."

"Awwwww." Everyone beamed, basking in the cuteness.

"Kai! Wow." I pasted on a bright smile. "First I've heard of it."

"Come to my band's show next month and you'll all hear it." Kai spread his hands, including the whole lounge in his invitation. "Second Friday in February…we're on at eleven…I know Jennie will be there."

"Yup," Nate piped up. "She'll have so much free time since she's not bringing snacks anymore."

"Yeah, Jennie didn't bring food today," Kyla whined.

"No snacks?" Kai shook his head at me like he'd never heard such a thing. "Jennie, why didn't you?"

"You guys —" Allison unzipped her bag. "Quit complaining. I have mints."

"Mints aren't filling," Nate said.

Allison rooted around in her bag, came up with nothing, and zipped it shut. "So you bring snack next time."

"'Scuse me!" I reached past Kai to grab my purse. "I forgot something. I'll be right back."

I ran down the stairs before he, or anyone else, could argue.

Outside, I jogged to the secluded spot where I'd talked with Lucas. The sun was low in the sky. My hat and scarf were in the lounge, left behind in my rush. Dots of snow brushed my cheeks and melted on my hands.

Hidden between the buildings, I glimpsed people walking through the quad. Eventually Kai strolled past, calling to someone ahead as he arranged his scarf. He sipped from a paper coffee cup. He didn't think to look down this hidden alley and see me as I pulled out my phone.

Leaning my head against the cold stone wall of the English building, I dialed.

The number rang and rang until it went to voicemail. I hung up. Pivoting, I held the phone over the pulse in my neck.

When it buzzed, I jumped. Fumbling the screen with chilled fingers, I put the phone to my ear.

"Hey." My voice came out breathy. I swear on everything good and true, it wasn't on purpose.

"You called?"

Lisa's calm tone made me shiver in a way that had nothing to do with the cold. I should have texted her, but what I had to say was too private for a screen.

"Look." I cleared my throat, reaching for my excuse to talk to her. "I've been going back and forth about seeing you tonight, because…"

When I trailed off, she didn't fill the gap, and the words rushed out of my mouth before I was ready.

"Because I'm on my period."

Snow tickled my eyelashes and melted under my coat collar.

"And?" she prompted.

"It's been a couple days already, but I just wasn't sure if I could…be with you. I want to. I've just never done anything during this time."

"Jennie." Her voice caressed me, making me dizzy. I leaned against the cold wall for support. "You don't have to come over tonight. Just come to me an extra night next week. I have no problem with screwing you senseless three days in a row."

"I'd rather come tonight."

"Why?"

I wondered where she was. Outside like me, in a private corner in one of these buildings, in her room. On the same campus, but in a different world.

"I need to keep nights open during the week, for school and my life. I need time between our visits." I closed my eyes, forcing the next part out, though I knew it was a lie. All I wanted was the distraction of being taken by Lisa. "I need the money."

She laughed softly. "What's so urgent? Your electricity get turned off again?"

"No. I have expenses. I'm trying to save." The excuse puffed from my mouth in a white cloud and disappeared into the frosty air.

"Fine. I'll see you at ten."

"One more thing! Um . . . could you please not make a big deal about my 'condition', or embarrass me? Or call me names? Or . . . be rough?"

"You're not up for that right now?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"Not exactly." I felt vulnerable, whispering my requests.

Suddenly, tears poured out. I pressed my hand on the wall, struggling for control, but they kept coming.

"Babe? What's going on?" Lisa's voice was still cool, but the term of endearment, coming from her of all people, made it harder to hold back.

"God," I blubbered. "I don't know. I've just been really weepy the past couple of days, like PMS that doesn't end, and ugh, I can't believe I'm —" I shook off the embarrassment, putting some bounce into my voice. Quiet bounce. "Though, I mean, can you even get it up if you aren't mean to me?"

"Don't worry about me, Jennie." She was smiling now. I could hear it. "I'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks."

For a moment, it was quiet on the other end.

"How do you feel about what we're doing?" she asked.

I glanced down the snow-blanketed passageway, sniffling. "I hate it and love it at the same time."

"Is that working for you?"

Own it, Jennie. I fished in my purse for a tissue and wiped my nose. "Yes. It's working for me."

"Are you absolutely sure? Because I don't want to wonder."

"I'm sure," I breathed.

As soon as I said it, an ache between my legs began to throb, calming me. The tears stopped falling.

"Good. I'll be gentle with you tonight, but don't expect me to go easy on you."

I tensed, undeniably horny now. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'll do things your way, but I'm going to do them my way, too."

Your way and my way. That night, I found out what it meant. It meant that Lisa could be gentle when she wanted to. Her whispers were soft, her words sweet.

And she kept me on the edge of orgasm for hours.

When I tried to touch myself for relief, she pinned my wrists above my head with one huge hand. When I squirmed, she kissed my forehead — lightly — and showed me a short length of rope she took out of her nightstand drawer.

I shook my head, rocking on the old towel she'd spread across her bed. My pussy was soaked, my whole body desperate to come. Lisa's fingers surrounded my clit, stroking the hard nub gently. I chewed my lower lip to keep from screaming, but short cries burst through.

"You want to scream?" She nuzzled my neck. "Go ahead. Do it loud. I don't care who hears. Let the whole house know how much you need to come."

"I thought you were being so nice on the phone," I gasped. "I should have known."

"I'm not nice, Jennie. And yes, you should have known."

I struggled, bucking my hips against her hand.

It was only at the end that I saw how much restraint this took for her too. Lust, slow and heavy, swirled through my stomach when her cock sank into me, taking and taking.

Her eyes went wide. Pale, holding mine, all desire. For the first time, her cheeks were flushed. Her breathing was as fast as mine.

In that moment, I didn't feel shame about wrapping my legs around her waist, holding tight to her shoulders, burying my face in her neck. Her skin was warm. Not marble, but salt and sweat and life. I kissed her, then bit her. She roared and thrust hard, her breath stealing mine as she spurted her release inside me.

When I finally climaxed — close to morning — she ordered me not to make a sound.