JENNIE
"Piggyback ride!" Rosé's squeal rang out across the dark lawn. A body tackled me from behind, wrapping arms and legs around me, and I staggered under the weight.
"Girl, you have to give me more warning!" I shrieked.
"I am so ready for Light Up The Night." Ashley bumped my hip, dragging Maria by the hand. "This week has been so fucking long…"
She was right. It was Friday night, a few days after I'd told Lisa it was my time of the month. I was ready to forget about homework, expenses, and every last detail of my sister's wedding. I had an hour to party with my friends before I knocked on Lisa's door and walked into the unknown. The annual bash at Chi Phi seemed perfect.
"Ash, how much tequila did you put in our drinks?" Maria leaned against Ashley, who leaned against me. Rosé's hair was blowing in my face, the blonde mingling with the dark. The night was cold, but the wind didn't bite. The four of us were so warm together.
"I don't think I'm gonna make it to Chi Phi," Maria said.
"Don't puke," Rosé yelled.
"You'll make it, girl," Ashley reassured her. "Jennie, you playing designated driver tonight? You barely had anything to drink at our place."
Rosé jounced on my back. She was getting heavy, and we weren't moving too fast to begin with.
"I have plans tonight," I said airily. "I told you guys. I'm meeting up with someone."
"Riiiight." Maria perked up. "That Kappa Sig one who we don't know anything about. Lisa somebody. Who is she? I'd never heard of her."
"I'll tell ya about Lisa," Rosé slurred, slinging a perfumed arm around my neck. She was sloshed already. "I'll tell ya all about her. She's a warm body. With a warm bed. She's boring, and she has crappy taste in music. But she's seriously jacked. Right, baby?"
"Right," I giggled. "She has a body. The body makes up for everything."
"So when do we meet her?"
"She's shy," I improvised. "We mostly hang out in her room. She's better one-on-one."
"Bo-ring," Rosé yawned.
"Better one-on-one?" Ashley nudged me. "That doesn't sound so boring."
As we approached the line in front of Chi Phi, I grabbed for a subject change. "Did I tell you guys the news? Jisoo just got engaged!"
My friends squealed. Jisoo was the charm that made everyone forget. Rosé jumped down from my back.
"Phone. Now. Pics," Maria ordered.
"Let me see!" Ashley and Rosé jostled for the best view as I pulled up Jisoo's engagement pictures. The four of us huddled around my phone at the end of the line.
"She's so pretty," Ashley sighed as my sister's beaming face filled the screen. "She's seriously the most beautiful person I know. She's like a Victoria's Secret model, but better."
"Oh my God, I love your sister." Rosé zoomed in on the picture. Jisoo had visited me a couple times at school, and all my friends had fallen for her. "She looks so happy. When did this happen?"
"A couple weeks ago."
"A couple weeks?" Rosé screeched. "And you didn't tell us? This is major. Look at that rock. He must love her very, very much."
I turned the screen off and dropped my phone in my purse.
The line to the Chi Phi entrance was moving at a crawl. Music pounded through the windows, ready to blast them out. Lights burst against the darkness in sprays of sparkles.
"Come on." Rosé grabbed my hand. "Let's jump the line."
We ran across the lawn and up the steps, pushing past the line. We earned dirty looks from everyone waiting, but the guys manning the door were all smiles when they saw us.
"Three brunettes and a blonde. Now this party can get started," one said, while the rest looked us up and down.
We left our coats by the door. White light sliced across the room, splintering the faces of people dancing and talking and drinking. A fog machine blurred the shards of light. The room held the heat of dozens of bodies.
Tonight, I'd dressed sexier than usual. My halter top tied at my neck and waist, leaving my back bare. When we passed the door to go to the bar, a gust of winter air tightened my skin into goosebumps. I'd skipped a bra and my nipples were hard points, poking through delicate fabric.
When I'd gotten dressed, I hadn't thought about how I'd look at the party. I'd thought about Lisa untying my top afterward, deliberately, roughly, or maybe not at all. Fondling my nipples, or twisting them cruelly. Pulling my halter top off my body and using the soft patterned fabric to bind my wrists like she'd threatened before.
I braced myself on the drinks table as the girls went for the next round.
In one flash of the colored lights, I felt apart. Distant from my friends. Wondering if I was over this, all the Friday nights rotating from one party to the next, getting drunk, giggling about crazy shit.
I was checking my phone, counting the minutes until I went to Lisa.
Here on a Friday night, without her even in the room, she was fucking with my evening.
Through a splash of color, spinning in a dizzying swirl, I saw an unmistakable pair of shoulders across the crowd. A body stood still in the frenzied play of lights. I got a flash of a cocked head, an interested expression.
I was wrong. Lisa was here, and she wasn't alone.
Red and yellow lights darted across a pretty upturned face. They stood in a quieter corner, against the wall. Purple light showed her moving mouth, her hand reaching for her shoulder. It hovered like she wasn't sure if she should touch her.
The lights wheeled away, scattering across the dance floor. I'd seen enough. Grabbing Ashley's plastic cup from her hand, I tossed back a gulp of schnapps-heavy cocktail.
"Come on," I yelled to my friends. "Let's take this party up a notch." Stalking to the dance floor, I passed a knot of guys and beckoned to the cutest one.
His face lit up, and he muscled us out onto the floor, getting behind me and pulling me into his body. The fog machine caught us in a puff of mist.
"Are you a freshman?" he yelled drunkenly in my ear.
"Do I look that innocent?" I yelled back.
"No. Uh-uh."
His hands wandered from my hips. I put them back, but they strayed again, gliding over my stomach and brushing the sides of my breasts. My halter top cut away to the back, showing more than a little side-boob, and his thumbs nudged my bare skin — sloppily. He grunted and pulled me closer, grinding into my ass. I moved his hands away, but his arms were two twining vines that refused to stay put.
I had, in fact, danced with too many boys like this freshman year. Vine Guy was pulling the same slimy moves. Jesus, his erection was ramming my back with no subtlety whatsoever. The vines kept crawling over me, speckled with light.
I glanced toward the corner I'd been avoiding. A swath of green illuminated two figures.
They were still there. The girl was still talking. But Lisa was watching me.
Her eyes froze me in an instant. They were pale, cold, but even across the room, filtered through green light, I saw things moving in them. Whatever lurked beneath was coming to the surface. Her body was completely still, but she looked wild. An animal on the hunt. About to attack.
That's right, Lisa, I thought. Look at me. What are you going to do about this?
The corner went dark. I shuddered in Vine Guy's sloshed embrace. We were in the center of the dance floor, caught in the swirling lights.
I let him rest a hand on my stomach. I let him slobber on my neck as he rubbed up on my ass. When he nudged my breast again, I didn't push his fingers away.
Kai. The thought whipped through my mind. This was how Kai danced with me when we were together. Putting on a show, murmuring that he wanted everyone to know how hot I was.
Just as I recoiled, a hand landed on my bare shoulder.
"Excuse me." The voice cut through the din. Lisa stood over us.
"You're excused." Vine Guy tried to move me away. "We're dancing here."
Lisa's grip tightened, electricity crackling between her hand and my shoulder. "Let's try that again. I need to borrow her for a minute." Her tone said …and never return her. "You can go."
"Hey, what's your problem?" Vine Guy tilted his chin belligerently. "Take your fucking hand off her."
A fall of blue light captured Lisa's face, her height, the set of her torso. Vine Guy took one good look at her and slithered off into the crowd of dancers.
"What the hell are you doing?" I hissed.
"No, babe," Lisa said into my ear, in the same quiet voice that gave me chills in her room. "What the hell are you doing?"
Hands grasped my other arm, and a soft body pressed against mine. I smelled Rosé's perfume, layered with tequila.
"Oh my God," Rosé gushed, hanging onto me but looking up at Lisa. "I seriously thought you were going to hit him."
Maria and Ashley appeared on either side of us. "What just happened?" Ashley burst out. "Jennie left us all behind, and—"
"This is Lisa," I sang.
"Oh, heyyy." They surrounded her, flirting the way friends do when they meet your new guy, or someone who they think is your new guy. Lisa looked briefly caught off-guard as I introduced the girls, and I felt a tingle of satisfaction.
"We've heard so much about you," Maria confided.
"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Jennie says you're super fun, and you like the best music." Rosé put her hand on her forearm, giving it a little rub.
"Is that so." Lisa looked at her hand like it was a foreign object.
"Baby, can you get us more drinks?" Rosé asked me. "We just stood in line forever while you were letting that sloppy guy rub up on your ass."
The next instant, Rosé was scooped up from behind. She let out a squeal.
"Hey, pretty girl." Koo Junhoe, the hot basketball transfer, grinned at her. He must have been six and a half feet tall — the only guy in the room who stood taller than Lisa. Unlike Lisa, he had a smile on his face. He gave Rosé a big smooch. "I was wondering if I'd see you tonight." He caught Lisa's eye. "Hey, man." He nodded.
There was an awkward pause. Then Lisa nodded back.
"Meet my girls," Rosé bubbled, glowing. "This is Jennie, and Ashley, and Maria, and Jennie's Lisa…" She gave her a wink. "And you guys all know who Junhoe is…"
"We're heading out now," Lisa cut in.
I checked my watch. 11:31.
"Nice to meet you," I added to Junhoe, because Lisa's manners seemed like they'd gone as far as they could go.
My friends blew kisses as Lisa steered me through the crowd. Her tense hand on my back sent a flash of dark excitement through me.
Near the front door, she helped me on with my coat before draping an arm around my shoulders as we exited into the cold damp moonlit air.
We crossed the lawn and passed a clump of trees spattered with snow. A sharp tug on my hair woke my body up.
"You are so fucked," Lisa whispered in my ear. Prickles ran over my skin.
"Excuse me?"
"We agreed: no other people. And three weeks in, you're letting some other guy grind on you? His hands were all over your body."
"I had things under control," I giggled, trying to brush it off. "And your attention was all over that girl."
I regretted my words as soon as I saw the smile on Lisa's face.
"Jealous?" She pulled me closer.
"No, you are," I retorted. She blinked, and I dug deeper, sensing an advantage. "Turning into such a possessive animal at the party…" I singsonged. "I didn't know you had it in you, Lisa. I never knew you cared."
Her jaw tensed, and a vein pulsed in her neck. Her lips pressed together, turning white. I'd hit a nerve — a deep one. Quickly, I backpedaled.
"Look, you're giving me shit. I'm just throwing it back."
She let out a breath. "I know that girl from class." Her hand was still buried in my hair, tangling it, undoing all the effort I'd put into styling it. "That's all. I don't want her."
"You seemed pretty into that conversation."
"I was bored, Jennie. I was killing time until eleven-thirty."
"Then why were you talking to her?" I threw up my hands. "You give me such a hard time about lying and pretending. You aren't any better."
She walked a few paces without answering. The lights along frat row pooled on the snow.
"That's fair," she said finally.
"See? No one's totally honest all the time. It's not possible. Sometimes you gotta stretch the truth to make people feel good."
"Like you and your 'friend'?" She didn't make air quotes this time, but they came through her voice.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're her bitch, Jennie. She walks all over you. She comes on to the guys you're with. She tells you to get her drinks like you're her servant."
"It's none of your business. Rosé needs me. And I thought you said she was my pet, you jerk."
She shrugged. "Some pets own their masters."
"Will you stop talking about us like that? I don't want to hear it."
"Babe, I think there are a lot of things you don't want to hear."
We walked down frat row in seething silence, our feet crunching on the snow.
"Are you 'friends' with Koo Junhoe?" I asked.
"I see him at the gym." Lisa's expression made it clear that she wished she didn't.
"Hey!" A group of laughing partiers staggered past us. "Hey, Jennie!"
"Hey!" I flashed a bright smile and waved back.
"You know them?" Lisa asked in an undertone as they stumbled on.
"Nope." I tossed my hair. "One of the perks of being a cheerleader. People recognize you around campus."
"I thought you quit."
"I did." My shoulders hunched, and I knew she felt it because her arm shifted around my back.
"Why?"
"I couldn't take getting up early for practice." I shuddered dramatically. "It was a huge time-suck. College is for having fun."
We'd reached Kappa Sig. Lisa guided me around the side to the back entrance. She opened the door.
"Why'd you quit really?"
"I just told you." I went in ahead of her, breezing up the empty stairway. "So what are we doing tonight? Clothes on or off? Talking or no talking? How embarrassed should I get ready to be?"
"Jennie." Her voice stopped me at the top. I swiveled to face her. In no particular hurry, her broad frame mounted the stairs. She gave me a cold smile. "I said you were fucked, and I meant it. You're getting punished."
My jaw dropped, and my face flamed. I opened my mouth to protest. But a wave of need crested and washed over my body. Goddammit, I was curious.
"What are you going to do?" I forced some power into my voice
"What you deserve," she said calmly. She crossed in front of me, took out her keys, and thrust one into the doorknob.
"Tell me now."
She jerked her head toward her open door. I looked up and down the hall — empty. Everyone was out partying. Taking a deep breath, I walked into Lisa's room.
As always, her bedside lamp was on, casting a dim glow over the posters of Italy, that damn nude painting, the books crowding the shelves, and the mirror that showed the truth. Her bed jutted out in the middle, perfectly made.
She shut the door. I backed up against it to feel a solid wall behind me. A mistake. Looming over me, she caged me in, resting her hands on either side of my head.
"Are you going to spank me?" The quaver in the question gave my excitement away.
A smirk bent her mouth. "No. You obviously want me to. What kind of punishment is that?"
"Then what?"
"I'm going to ignore you," she said matter-of-factly. "I won't look at you tonight. I won't talk to you, I won't touch you. If I want relief, I'll jerk off to porn. You can masturbate if you want, but I won't pay any attention to you."
"Are you kidding?" I gasped.
Her eyes froze me. "You put on a show. You wanted attention, I'm taking it away from you."
"No," I blurted. I grabbed her shoulders, digging my fingers into granite. "You wouldn't. You couldn't. I'd like to see you try. You want me. I know you do. You won't be able to ignore me when I'm naked in your room."
"No?" That one word dropped into the pool of my protests like a rock.
"You said at the beginning that you'd find someone to do this crazy shit with you, but you're not going to find anyone else like me. You said I was perfect," I pushed on. "You're not stupid, Lisa. What, you're going to sabotage yourself? Sit there and ignore me, then stick a wad of bills in my purse? That's how you're going to waste your money? Is that worth it to you? A hot night all by yourself? Are you going to jerk off later to the memory of not looking at me?"
She tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Try me," she said.
As I stared at her cool, unwavering gaze, I saw the truth. If I did try her, no way would I win.
"Don't ignore me," I whispered hoarsely.
"Don't worry, babe." She traced my jaw. "I knew you wouldn't like that. That's why there's door number two."
"What's behind door number two?"
She smiled. Taunting me, drawing this out. "Choose it and you'll find out. I promise, you'll have my full attention the whole time."
Her tone made me shiver. The space between our bodies pulsed.
"There's also door number three," I pointed out. "It's behind me. I can walk through it."
"True. You're always free to leave." Her fingertip returned to my jaw, drawing a line down my neck, leaving a trail of liquid fire. I clutched the doorknob. "Is that what you want?"
She already knew the answer, and I wanted to slap the satisfied look off her face.
I loosened my grip on the doorknob. "Door number two."
Lisa bent and kissed me hard. The shock of it was violent, scrambling my senses so I couldn't tell if the kiss was a reward or a punishment. Her tongue was hot and taking, mashing into mine.
My heart thudded in my chest, my hands sliding over her wool jacket. She shrugged it off, pitching it across the room onto her desk chair. My coat was next, her movements rough and efficient. Fear shot through me. I grabbed her waist.
"I can't take a lot of pain," I pleaded.
"I know, babe." Her patient voice contrasted with her haste. "It's not going to be like that."
I was sweating, hot, excited and scared. With my coat off, I was exposed in my halter top and tight black pants. My thighs were damp, excitement heating up my crotch.
I stood nervously by the door while she closed the curtains, straightening them so they covered the windows completely.
"What are you doing?"
She walked toward me, her face cold, her step purposeful. Dangerous. My pulse sped up, and I squeezed my thighs together against the heat in my pussy. She was coming closer…closer…
Then she reached past me to turn out the light. The room plunged into darkness, and my stomach dropped.
Instinctively, I grabbed her arms as she pushed me against the wall.
The first time I visited her room, she'd asked the question so softly in bed. Are you afraid of the dark, Jennie?
I always have been, I'd whispered, as she stroked my body, securing my trust.
Maybe you like the dark more than you think.
"Lisa, this isn't funny," I said unsteadily.
"It's not supposed to be."
Breath met my ear. Lips found the base of my neck. My heartbeat was ragged in my chest. The room was velvet, impenetrable. I couldn't see a thing. She pinned me against the wall with her body, one leg between mine, her fingers tightening on my upper arms. The tongue teasing my neck would have been soothing, if the lamp had been on.
"Jesus Christ," I whispered.
"Are you afraid of the dark?" she whispered. "I don't need the lights on to read you like a book."
I shot my right arm toward the switch. A heavy hand clamped my biceps and shoved my arm down to my side.
"When you earn it."
"Turn the lights on."
"No."
"I'm scared."
Her hand slipped into my halter top, fondling my breast, exploring the soft curve and the aching point of my nipple.
"I know." A mouth caught mine with no warning. Just as abruptly, only air kissed my lips.
"Lisa, it's so dark." I clung to her waist, squeezing the hard blocks of muscle.
"Yes, it is." She sucked on my neck until my head swam. A hard, hard erection pressed my stomach through layers of clothes. "But you're not alone, right? And let's check if you're cold…" A hand worked into my pants, then my panties. I moaned with need as big fingers teased my soaked lips. "No, not cold at all. What a hot, wet little pussy this is."
"Damn you," I growled. "Stop playing games."
"What, you can't handle it? You need me to turn the lights on? If it's so dark and scary, then say your word. You know how to stop this."
I bucked my hips. My hands dared to slip under her sweater and skate over her chest. Straining to look, seeing nothing in the pure blackness, I felt like I was falling.
"Shut up. I can handle it."
"So be a big girl for me and get used to the dark."
My legs shook. I couldn't see Lisa's face; I had nothing to go on except her fingers on my pussy and her chest under my hands. She sounded so collected, but her heart beat under my palm and it wasn't anywhere close to calm.
"Let's talk about games," she whispered. "Since you brought them up. In here, we play them. Outside this room, we don't. Why'd you try to make me jealous?"
"It worked, didn't it?" I growled.
Her fingers dipped into pure heat. My pussy hugged the invasion, my arousal beyond obvious in the dark. "You're a brat."
I squirmed, caught between her body and the wall. Pulling my hand from under her sweater, I pawed at the unforgiving blackness until I found her cheek, trying to orient myself. She made a low sound when I touched her face.
"And you're not wearing a bra. Just a flimsy little top that shows every last detail of your tits."
She squeezed the yielding flesh, pinched the nipple, and a gasp leapt from me.
"Why are you playing games with me?" I hissed.
"To get at the truth. It's harder to pretend in the dark. Maybe that's why you run away from it." She nibbled on my neck, her fingers twisting inside me. "You're so wet, baby. Your pussy doesn't lie."
Her breath became more rapid, her fingers rougher. My clit pulsed under her pressure as she flicked it and flicked it.
"What are you so afraid of?" Her voice was seductive, beckoning, inviting. "Be in the dark with me."
"Fuck you," I muttered.
Suddenly she broke contact and lifted me, walking with deliberate steps in the darkness. I hung on tight to her neck until something soft stopped us — her bed. I was lowered, set down, relieved to feel Lisa's mattress under my back. Her hands moved over my body, sure and swift, untying my halter top and stripping the light fabric away. I made a grab when those hands left my skin, but I couldn't locate her.
Palms closed over my breasts. Heat pierced the rush of pleasure — my nipple, captured in her mouth. She sucked hard on the tight bud. My head went light.
"What are you doing to me," I gasped. She pulled back, leaving my nipple wet and throbbing.
I heard the brush of a sweater being shed, the faint thud of jeans falling on the floor, and the clink of a belt buckle against a hard piece of furniture. Skin nudged my arm. A huge hand fit between my thighs, toying with my wet folds.
"You really are perfect, Jennie. You're everything I hoped for and more."
When her fingers slipped inside me, I bit the closest part of her — her shoulder. I was tight with nerves, desperately aroused. The mint scent of her breath, the sharpness of her teeth on my earlobe made me clench up.
"Fuck, yes," she growled. "I love you tight like this."
She was as turned on as I was. I bit harder and her fingers shoved deeper into my pussy, fucking me faster.
"Such a soft, sweet little cunt. The perfect place for my fingers."
Her touch was forceful. The pressure and the flash of pain were too delicious, too intense. I whimpered, not because it didn't feel good enough, but because it felt too good.
"You're still scared, Jennie." She caressed my clit. I spasmed around the thick fingers inside me. "I can feel it in your pussy."
"What the fuck is your problem?" I hissed, face burning in the dark. "Why do you get off on this?"
"Doesn't seem like I'm the one getting off on this." She curled her fingers inside me, and I cried out. "Listen to you," she said softly. "You're a shaking mess of excitement. You're about to learn who you belong to."
I came. Oh Jesus, I came so hard. For that minute, I let myself be hers and it knocked me down.
As I panted for breath, she eased her fingers out of me. When they pushed against my lips, I sucked them in so ferociously, she gasped. It was the briefest intake, nothing like the noises she got out of me, but it was there.
I'd made Lisa gasp.
ME belong to YOU? I thought. Please, Lisa. Now you're the one pretending.
I pulled away from her fingers and dove down the bed. I couldn't see a thing, but after three weeks with Lisa, my hands were guides, traveling over the ripples of her abs to grasp the hot cock jutting out. I took her in my mouth before she could say a word.
"Fuck." Her voice was thick was lust. "Suck me, girl."
She'd never ordered me to give her a blowjob. Not once, in all the times I'd come to her. I swirled my tongue over her flesh, the hard ridges and silky skin my only map in the blackness. Her balls were so soft, plump and heavy in my hand.
"You hot little bitch," she whispered roughly. I moaned around her cock. Her fingers tangled in my hair. "You really know how to do this. I chose right when I chose you. What a good little whore you are."
My face burned. I sucked her broad head, lapping up the trickle that met my tongue. Her cock filled my hand, warm and inviting.
I'd always treated blow jobs like an advantage, a token to win a boy's regard. I'd give myself a pep talk while my jaw ached: I am so fucking awesome. He's going to lose it any minute. I'd gauge his reaction, putting on a show.
In the dark, with Lisa, none of that mattered. All I knew was my lips around her shaft, the constant swirl of my tongue, the shadowy thrill of taking her deeper. The musky scent of her crotch, earthy and excited, against the cold backdrop of her body. Her sharp breaths, closer together, bordering on losing control.
"Enough." She yanked a handful of hair. I sucked harder, ignoring her. "Stop or you'll really be punished."
I pulled off of her, panting. Hands grasped my shoulders, sliding down my breasts, pulling me up by my waist, pushing me onto my back. My thighs shook as she spread them. I cried out when the tip of her cock lodged in my pussy. She sank inside in one long stroke, burying herself in my wetness.
She was huge. It hurt. It felt incredible, the keenest knife's edge between pleasure and pain. I quivered around her, sensitive to every twitch of her dick, and she wasn't even moving yet.
"Who do you belong to?"
"You," I moaned. Sweet Jesus, I didn't even hesitate.
She flexed her hips, opening me with controlled thrusts. Pleas spilled out, overlapping with gasps and sighs. I was close to sobbing, the way I had the first time. Fingers covered my throat, cradling my jaw, and a thumb pushed between my lips. I sucked it feverishly, desperately — gratefully. I was losing my fucking mind. When a warm tear slipped down my cheek and splashed against her hand, she cursed, the words so crude and profane that my pussy tugged her deeper.
"Now." Her voice was ice. "Are you going to dance with drunken idiots who want to touch your sexy tits and feel your tight pussy and put their dicks inside you? Guys who are never going to give you what you need?"
I locked my legs around her unyielding waist. "No," I breathed.
"Are you going to let anyone else put a hand on you while you're mine?"
"No-o-o," I panted.
"Say it. Say, I belong to you, Lisa."
Her strokes were juicy and deep now, hitting the back of my pussy. I teetered on the edge of a blinding plunge of pleasure.
"Why— do you want that?" I gasped. "You just want sex. No strings. I — oh God."
She slowed her thrusts, but they stayed deep. Her lips claimed mine, merciless, until our mouths parted.
"I'm not interested in having someone who doesn't belong to me," she whispered against my mouth. She licked my tongue. I heard my own thready breath. "I'm not interested in fucking a liar. I cum that much harder, knowing you're mine."
"I am…" Her cock jerked inside me. "I belong to you, Lisa."
A hand worked between us, and pleasure flared through my pussy.
"Go on, babe." Her voice wrapped around my moans, her fingers savage on my clit. "Give in to me. You're just a little girl in the dark, and all you can do is come."
She was right. It was all I could do.
It was all she could do.
The inky black was absolute, everything else more intense, the sheets and her skin and our mouths and the throbs that blended together, until the moment released its grip and I went limp under her body.
"I'm not afraid of the dark anymore," I said.
The bed shifted. The bedside lamp clicked on.
I blinked in the sudden light, letting my eyes adjust. Lisa was on top of me, her face millimeters from mine.
"Jesus," I muttered. She twisted her fingers in my hair, and I spilled the truth. "I don't want you to pull out."
She smiled. "Then we'll just stay like this."
Our breathing mingled, slow and even, my arms twined around her back. As the lamp fuzzed to a haloed glow, she softened inside me. Finally, she pushed herself up on her elbows and slipped out.
We lay on our sides facing each other. Her brown eyes were half-closed, her mouth slack. My body throbbed everywhere. She rested her hand on my head, lazily stroking my hair.
"Lisa?" My voice was raspy. I licked my lips.
"What is it, baby?" She ruffled my hair.
I rolled over, my back to her, staring at the mirror on her wall that showed the two of us. The mirror that always told the truth.
"I quit cheerleading," I said suddenly, "because my grades were in the toilet last semester and I would have been kicked off the squad anyway. And because I'd never be as good as my sister."
Lisa's response was slow to come. "That must get old." Her voice was thoughtful, her hand finding my hip. "Comparing yourself to her all the time."
"It does."
"Why were your grades so bad?"
"I partied a lot. I stopped caring about success."
"Really?"
"No," I muttered. "I tried, but I never stopped caring. I tried so damn hard."
Her hand moved into my hair again. I scooted back until my body was nestled against hers.
Out in the hall, a ribbon of music unspooled and slipped under the door. Late-night music, just a guitar and a voice.
"I can't believe you don't like music," I murmured. "It's like you're not even human."
"Who said I don't like music?"
"You did. In your car, after the first time. You were driving me home, and when I asked what kind of music you liked, you said 'the sound of silence.' You also gave me a look."
Behind me, Lisa rolled away. The mattress sank and rose as she climbed off the bed. I turned and propped myself up on an elbow while she opened the laptop on her desk and hit a few keys.
The tones of acoustic guitars filled the room, quiet, but commanding attention. Two voices intertwined — young guys singing.
Hello darkness, my old friend…
The music was so intimate, it was like they were whispering into my ear. The harmonies gave me chills.
…Within the sound of silence.
Drums kicked in on the second verse, driving the song. The groove carried me along, but with a sudden ache, I missed the intimacy of the opening. Lisa stood by her desk, naked, carved, her cock half-hard, watching my reaction.
I waited until the song was finished. "It's beautiful."
"You've never heard it before?"
I pushed my matted hair off my face. "I usually listen to other kinds of music. Is it old?"
"About fifty years. But it's one of those songs that lasts forever. It's my favorite." Lisa picked up a pen from the desk and fiddled with it. Click click click. She wasn't a fidgeter. Something told me not to answer, to let the silence lengthen the way she did with me. She tossed up the pen and caught it. "I listened to this song over and over again last summer. It was all I heard for months."
"Why?" I couldn't keep quiet any longer.
"Because I needed to."
"Is the darkness your friend?"
She dropped the pen on the desk. It rolled to rest against the laptop. "It's the oldest friend I have."
Closing the laptop, she climbed into bed beside me. Her hand found its place on my hip.
"What does that mean, exactly?" I asked. "You want to be a dark person? You're embracing the darkness in your soul?"
"No." She laughed a little. "It means, I can rely on the dark. It comes every night. I can depend on that. And the dark means you don't have to pretend."
"I thought you believed in not pretending."
"In a perfect world, yes."
"Nothing's perfect," I murmured.
"You're right. Nothing is."
We reached out at the same time, and our hands touched. When she folded her fingers around mine, I looked away, the moment suddenly intimate, but I held her hand. She turned off the lamp and we lay there, together, in the dark.