JENNIE

The March morning air was cool and damp. As I jogged down the path from the athletic center, I waved to the other cheerleaders, all scattering after practice.

I fell into step next to Megan.

"Not gonna lie, I can't believe Kim and Grace let me come back after Saturday," I whispered.

"Why, because you lost your balance during a stunt? And you had a headache?" Megan laughed. "It happens. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks."

I caught a pair of hazel eyes, narrowing at us from across the lawn. Rosé turned away, her blonde ponytail bouncing between her shoulders.

Megan followed my gaze as Rosé sprinted off.

"Don't worry about her. She's just mad because Koo Junhoe didn't swoop in and carry her out when she fell, the way your friend did." Megan arched an eyebrow, obviously hoping for details.

"I guess."

"Something wrong between you guys? You used to be so tight, and now you barely talk to each other."

I shrugged. "Like you said, it happens. We've been friends a long time. I'm sure it'll pass." I was too giddy to feel stung by Rosé snubbing me. A twinge between my legs reminded me why. I fanned my hoodie against my chest, trying to dry the sweat.

Megan gave me a quick hug goodbye and headed toward the library. Once I was alone, I broke into a run, chasing the cloud I'd been floating on all week.

On Monday afternoon, a text had popped up. Feeling better?

Yes.

Wear panties tonight that you won't miss.

I gripped my phone. Why?

You're getting the first time you always wanted.

Out of breath after Student Senate, I'd knocked on Lisa's door. It opened. A hand clamped on my wrist, and I was pulled into a dark room.

My fantasy. The big bad wolf backstage. Lisa's story, which she'd promised to finish.

Brawny arms wrapped around me. She was naked. Hot breath brushed my neck, and the heat swirled down my body.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. "Help me, I've lost my way…"

Her cock pressed my back as her hands wandered. A sharp twist on my nipple drove the breath out of me.

"Please, just help me." The plea wavered, excitement making my limbs heavy. "I have nowhere else to go."

She grunted softly. Impatient hands tore off my sweater and leggings and bunched in the comfy old pair of panties I'd chosen. Tears sprang to my eyes as she ripped the cotton and fondled my pussy, exploring the juicy folds. It didn't hurt, but it was so sudden to be grabbed and fingered, by a beast who wouldn't hesitate to take every liberty with my body.

She didn't say a word. Her silence made her seem more animal.

"You're scaring me." My voice trembled with nerves and arousal. I was playing along, but it was so real. "I'm scared—"

She growled and pinched my nipple harder.

I couldn't catch my breath. I was pushed to my knees. Grasped, squeezed, licked all over by a hot rough tongue. I thrashed uncontrollably when a lustful mouth devoured my pussy, sucking on the tender flesh.

Pinned to the floor, I felt an elbow in my back. Thickness slid into my pussy from behind. Fingers, taking and invading, filling my molten heat. Cold metal pressed against my lips — her ring. I gasped with need as she pinched my swollen clit. She slapped my ass and thighs, the pain waking me up.

I sobbed when she fucked me, hungry and careless. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I surrendered and came.

It was bliss.

After she found release, her mouth met my ear, her cock still inside me.

"How'd you like your first time?"

I shuddered when she withdrew, easing her weight off my back. "It was heaven."

Later, she sketched by the light of her bedside lamp. I looked at her art books. She said I could borrow one. I asked for a piece of paper from her pad and doodled dreamily on her bed, my leg hooked over her.

It was cozy. A different kind of heaven. Until we fucked again.

That was two days ago. Since then, I couldn't stop thinking about Lisa. She'd invaded my mind from the night I met her, but now I wasn't trying to keep her out. She was more than a fantasy, more than a source of cash and sex and dark urges. I ached for her—her scent, her chest, her raspy voice in the morning. Dammit, I'd missed her—

"Whoa there, Lady Jennie."

"Oh God! I'm so sorry." I pulled up short, giggling. A foot away from me, Lucas held his palms out. His purple jacket set off his yellow knotted scarf. I'd almost plowed into him as I rounded a corner. "Isn't it early for you to be up? I always figured you were a creature of the night."

He tugged on his knitted cap. "Didn't know you thought about me so much."

"Oh, you wish." I winked at him, then pointed to the buds on the trees and gave a little skip. "Look, it's almost spring! I love spring. Enough with winter. Cold is so over."

He looked alarmed. "Someone's in a good mood. Exactly how hard did you hit your head this weekend?"

"Ugh, you saw?"

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. The video's everywhere. And that article in The Lighthouse—"

Right. The Lighthouse had run an article about whether coaches paid enough attention to the health of student athletes. It described the fall in graphic detail. Fortunately, Diana Silvers wasn't involved.

"Whatever. Who cares?" I bubbled. "It's just a video. I thought everyone would hate me afterwards, but people have been so nice. Speaking of which, can I borrow your notes for Victorian Lit? Just the last couple of classes, since I've been kind of overloaded and busy and — I guess I need help. I'll be honest, it's super hard for me to say that I need help, but it's getting easier, which is huge."

"Congrats." Lucas's brow furrowed. "Sure, I have them with me. I use a notebook."

"Great!" I chirped. "That's so fucking adorable and old-school. I have my laptop, so let's just sit down on this bench over here, all nice and cozy, and I'll copy them in two seconds."

I plopped myself down on the nearest bench and looked at Lucas expectantly. Approaching with caution, he sat down, eyeing me like I was about to explode.

"Jennie," he said in a low voice, "how much Adderall are you taking?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't get me wrong, you're always bubbly, but you're more carbonated than usual."

"Ugh, why does it always have to be about drugs with you? Do you think about anything else? I'm in love." The word bounced out of my mouth so easily and fell like a thunderbolt. "Fuck," I whispered. "No, I'm not. Forget I said that. I'm not in love. It's just — just a little crush."

He laced his fingers behind his head, leaned back, and grinned at me. Campus was quiet, this early in the morning, and a March breeze stirred the grass.

"A little crush, huh. Right, because we're all in second grade."

"Keep it up, Lucky," I muttered. "Really, no. I was being stupid. You thought I said something? I didn't say anything. Seriously, it was just spring fever, okay? I was temporarily insane."

"Mm-hm."

My hair was damp with sweat from practice, and I shivered in the cool air. Zipping my sweatshirt closed over my sports bra, I pulled the hood over my head.

"How far are you willing to go for money?" I asked abruptly.

"Excuse me?" His mouth hung open.

"Why do you deal?" I leaned toward him, one hand on the bench. "It's dangerous. It's illegal. You're smart; you could make money lots of other ways. So why are you putting yourself on the line for a buck?"

"Lady Jennie…" Lucas said softly. "You're getting intense on me."

"I want to understand."

"Understand what, exactly?"

"Money," I said airily. "Earning it. In ways that are not so traditional. Or socially acceptable."

He stared at me. "How'd we get here from talking about love?"

"I don't have love, okay? I just have money. And a particular way to earn it."

"What does that mean?"

I held his gaze and said nothing.

"Jennie?" He squinted, uncertain.

"What do you think it means?" My voice dropped.

He let out a brief laugh. "Well, the first thing that came to mind is selling your body, to which I'd say, 'What the fuck, Ms. Congeniality?' Get a job at the mall."

"Funny, Lucky," I blurted. I wanted to wipe that smile off his face. "But let me tell you, after being a companion, I'm never going back to a retail job."

His eyes widened, and his hat dangled from his hand. He was speechless. My cheeks flamed.

"You can't tell anyone." I locked eyes with him. "I swear you can't tell anyone."

"You're saying you're…a prostitute?"

"It's not like that."

"Oh?" he sputtered. "You're, you're a classy escort?"

"I told you, I'm a companion. I'm with one person. It's ongoing."

His hat fell to his lap. "Okay. All right. So you found yourself a sugar daddy. You're not the first and you won't be the last."

"It's not exactly like that either."

"Then what's it like?"

"She doesn't buy me things." I hugged my knees, which were covered with goosebumps below my spandex shorts. I couldn't believe I was having this conversation. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to. "But She spoils me. She makes really delicious breakfasts. She makes sure I'm happy, even if she does it in — twisted ways." Lucas coughed, and I hurried on. "She's weirdly thoughtful, actually. It's the perfect arrangement. We know when we're going to see each other and when we're not. When we're together, we focus on each other completely. There's no questions or confusion. None of the mess that comes with a partner. Partner suck."

"And you're in love with her," Lucas put in.

"No! That would be ridiculous. I've just been — forgetting about the money sometimes." I flipped back my hood and shook my hair out of its ponytail.

"So you don't need it."

"No, I do," I muttered. "Anyway, when I said I was in love, I just meant that I was happy. People get too attached to being in love. It's overrated."

Lucas lit a cigarette and puffed it thoughtfully. "I like being in love. You're planning on making a career out of this? Not judging. You know what I do."

"I'm not thinking beyond this spring." I tossed my hair back. "Promise not to tell anyone. On your grave, swear it. No one knows but you."

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "Quite a secret to have."

"Swear it."

"I won't tell a soul. Were you serious about borrowing my notes for Lit class?"

"Yes."

He took a notebook out of his woven bag, flipped it open, and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I reached for my tote bag, got out my laptop, and began typing his notes. The taps echoed in the quiet air. Smoke from his cigarette wreathed us, and I paused to bat it away. He exhaled in the other direction.

"How're you doing in this class?"

"Oh…horribly." It was so easy to speak the truth now.

"Why didn't you drop? Deadline was last week."

"I'm not a quitter."

"Sometimes quitting is worth it."

I typed faster. Themes…motifs…..symbols…

"Why are you taking the class?"

"I like these kinds of books. I wanted to take a class just to learn. That's all." The keys clattered.

Lucas rubbed his palms on his plaid pants. "You know, if you're so stretched for money right now that you have to be a…companion, I can give you a discount on the Adderall. Or you could quit."

"Are you trying to put yourself out of business?"

"I'm not hurting." He grinned. "Don't worry, you're not responsible for my income."

"Let's say I do quit." I stared into Lucas's brown eyes. "How would I feel?"

"How much are you taking?"

"One a day. Usually."

"Usually?"

"Almost always."

"You'd feel fine for a day or two. Then you'd crash for a few days. After that, you'd feel slow and blah. Ordinary. You wouldn't be Supergirl. Eventually you'd even out and get used to it."

I snapped my laptop shut. "I'm not quitting."

"Lady Jennie…you can't stay on it forever."

"Thanks for your notes. I'll try to make sense of them at home."

"You could find a tutor. Believe me, there's no shame in asking for help."

We both stood up. There was an awkward moment where a hug might happen. It didn't. Lucas brushed invisible lint off his purple coat while I fiddled with my hoodie.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" He jammed his hat onto his curls.

"I told you, I'm happy. Everything is fine."

Picking up my tote bag, I gave him a wave and jogged off. On a branch nearby, a bud was starting to open.