JENNIE

The ground moved under me as I followed the snaking path between buildings. I'd lasted two minutes by the tree after Lisa ran off with her phone. Crazy as it was, I'd meant to wait for her. But that oversized frozen mocha I drank during the concert was back; I needed a bathroom.

Scene on the Green was wrapping up, and the lines for the closest girls' rooms, in Rickett and Egan Hall, were out the door.

I veered away from the quad, rounding the backs of the buildings. It was dark here, and quiet. Skirting a clump of bushes, I turned down the path to the engineering building. My high was fading, and the building was silent when I opened the front door.

I took my phone out, hoping for a message from Lisa. Something along the lines of: Don't worry. I'm going to track you down and make you mine, over and over again, and then I'll profess my undying love. I promise, baby, we'll be together forever after graduation.

Jesus. Needless to say, there was nothing on my screen.

In the engineering building, I typed. Needed the ladies' room.

Just like a normal relationship. Not like I was a girl hired for her to have her way with. Though at some point, her way had become my way, too.

My head snapped up.

Shit. I'd been so focused on my phone, I'd gone down the wrong hallway. The restrooms were in the other wing. Light footfalls sounded behind me; someone else was in the building. I spun around.

And came face to face with Kai.

"Oh." The air hissed out of me. I turned it into a giggle. "Hey. I'm just going to the bathroom." I strode toward him, angling to the left.

He stood in front of me, blocking my way.

"I've been looking all over for you," he said, with a strange, slow smile.

"Excuse me?" It came out a question. Kai cocked his head. I tried to brush past him, but he moved to block me again.

"I just want to talk to you, Jennie." He held his hands in the air, his voice silky. "Just talk. That's all."

"About what? There's nothing to talk about. I have to pee."

"I saw something really interesting. And what I heard…that was even more interesting."

"Whatever, Kai. My bladder's about to burst." I turned on my heel, heading for the exit, prepared to brave the quad bathrooms.

"What were you doing by that tree? With your girlfriend?" He twisted the word.

I halted. Slowly, I pivoted to face him. He took a step closer.

"I heard you." His dark eyes turned sleepy. Bedroom eyes, fringed by long lashes. "I heard her. 'I can't afford you. Such a good little whore. Priceless.'"

"You followed us from the quad?" My voice quavered. Dammit. "You weren't there by accident, I know you weren't. How dare you spy on us?"

Kai shook his head slowly. His fingers curled at his sides, and my skin crawled. "Is it true? No, it can't be true."

"Is what true?"

"That she's —" Kai glanced down at my hips — "paying you. That you got off on talking about it while she fingered you. That you were gonna come —" the word was ugly in his mouth — "while she called you her whore. You'd never do something like that, Jennie. Say it isn't true."

I looked into the eyes of my ex-boyfriend, and I saw a stranger.

"You don't know who I am," I whispered.

"Say it isn't true," he insisted, his nose almost touching mine. I stepped back, and he followed. His breath wafted across my face. "It's so wrong. The girl I dated, the girl I knew, would never sell her body."

"Sometimes," I rasped, "wrong is right."

"Jesus fucking Christ. It's true. You're having sex with that piece of shit for money."

"Don't you dare call her a piece of shit." My voice rose.

"I've seen her around. I hate the way she walks. Like she's better than everyone else, looking down on us mere mortals. And what about you? She was right. You're a slut."

"Shut up, Kai," I hissed.

"No. Uh-uh. I can't believe this. I knew you were going downhill, but now…" He whistled.

I reared back like I'd been slapped. "What does it matter to you?" I snapped. "You're not my boyfriend anymore."

"She came on to you right in front of me. You were talking at that party before Thanksgiving. Her eyes were all over you."

"That was girls' night," I said weakly. "You crashed."

"You were mine. MY girlfriend. Were you cheating on me? Fattening up your wallet even then?"

"No!" I tried to shout. My voice stalled in my throat, like in a dream where all you want to do is scream, but you can't.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because I don't lie." Such bullshit. I'd told Kai a thousand little lies. "I'm not lying about this. I've never cheated."

"Right, whatever you say." His voice slid over me. "At least your friend puts out for free."

"What are you talking about?" I whispered. "What friend?" Kai's eyes darted back and forth. "You mean Rosé?"

His face shifted into a crafty smile. "You always thought you were better than her. For awhile, I thought so too."

"Don't talk about her like that," I began, and broke off. The awful truth hit me before I could find the words. I was falling down a tunnel. "You and Rosé—"

"It just happened, Jennie."

"What do you mean, it just happened?" My voice rose. "That shit doesn't just happen."

"Maybe for you. But for girls like Rosé…"

"When?" I snapped. When?"

"November. You were partying harder, letting yourself go, and Rosé wanted to talk because she was concerned. So she came over, and…" He shrugged.

I swallowed pure rage. "Was that the only time?"

"You kidding?" He grinned. "We're talking about Rosé."

I tried to breathe. I was so angry with Rosé, so angry with Kai, leaning close to me, his head inclined like we were about to kiss.

"You're an asshole," I whispered.

His teeth bared in a humorless smile. A chill seeped through me. "You want details?" he breathed into my ear. "Last time we fucked was January. That first Friday night. There were a fuckton of people staying at her apartment, and we screwed in her room. She was wet." He let out a long, low whistle. "And she was down to do things you never— But I guess all bets are off with you, huh?"

I felt sick. That first Friday in January, I'd called Rosé, desperate because my utilities were dead. She'd turned me down, and I'd gone to Kappa Sig. To Lisa. To her bed. When she called to offer a spot on her floor, it could have been while Kai was there.

I pulled myself back from the brink. "Why didn't you just dump me for Rosé?"

He blinked fish eyes at me. "Now why would I do that, beautiful? You think Rosé's the kind of girl I'd date?"

My fists clenched.

"You are so fucked," he crowed. "I'm telling everyone the truth about you."

Ice seized my spine. "People won't care. This school is huge. It's not like everyone knows who I am."

"You're the cheerleader who fell." He smiled maliciously. "People know who you are."

I turned away, but he grabbed my arm. Gritting my teeth, I yanked, and his grip tightened. "We're done."

"How could you do this to me?" God, he meant it. "I loved you, and this is how you repay me."

"Love?" I let out a laugh, my throat tight. "You cheated on me with my best friend!"

"Because I knew you were holding back. You were always keeping something from me. Do you know how that feels?"

"Kai—"

"What's your price, sweetie?" He dropped my arm and dug in his pocket. My skin burned with his fingerprints. "I've got thirty bucks, what'll that buy me? Is there a menu?"

"Enough!"

"Your paycheck's gonna run dry soon," he sing-songed. "She said she can't afford you. Poor girl, can't even buy sex anymore."

A sharp crack echoed off the walls — my hand whipping past his cheek. It happened so fast, I didn't register my shock until I saw it reflected in Kai's face.

He gripped my wrists.

"Whore. That's what she called you, because that's all you are to her. A walking, talking, hollowed-out hole for her to fuck a dollar bill into. You're pathetic. Second-rate. Not good enough for any guy. You're nothing, Jennie."

The doors burst open. A body streaked toward us.

"Get off her."

Lisa's voice was distorted, barely recognizable. A hand closed on Kai's collar and shoved.

Kai stumbled backwards and let me go. "Hit me and I'll sue you," he blustered.

Lisa clenched her fists, disgust rolling off her in waves. She gave Kai a look of pure contempt and walked up close. Kai flinched.

"Come near her again, bother her in any way at all, and we'll be having more than a conversation."

"You can't get some legitimately with your charming personality," Kai snarled, "so you have to pay. You're as pathetic as she is."

Kai blinked, surprise flashing in her eyes. "And you're a weak, insignificant little prick." Her voice was so cold, I hugged my arms across my chest. "Leave her alone."

"I'm slinging this shit all over campus," Kai yelled at me. "You'll be on the garbage heap in a week."

"Do it." I looked right into Kai's eyes. "If I go down, so do you."

Kappa Sig was noisy after Scene on the Green. Doors banged, music blasted, and people yelled up and down the hall. Nobody lounged at the back door, and nobody paid attention to me and Lisa. I had never been so grateful to use a frat bathroom. Or to have Lisa standing guard outside the door.

Walking into her room, I breathed easier. The bedside lamp cast a familiar dim glow. The window was open a crack, and cool air blew in. It smelled like spring. The bed was made; the space was neat and clean as always.

I huddled under the covers for warmth and looked at one of her art books while she disappeared to the kitchen. She came back with sandwiches. I ate two, leaning against her in the circle of her arms.

"Kai and Rosé," I murmured. "They cheated on me. Together."

"Yeah." She gripped me tighter.

I pulled back. "You don't sound surprised."

She sighed. "I'm not."

"You knew?" My voice rose. "And you didn't tell me? After all your talk about being honest and never lying?"

From behind, she took my chin in her hand. Her palm was big and so icy. "Jennie, I didn't know. I guessed. I've seen too much cheating and I didn't want to be right."

I'd been avoiding her gaze. I turned, and for the first time, I got a good look at her face. She was even paler than usual, her expression strained.

"What happened?" I gasped. "What was that phone call about? Something's wrong. You can tell me. Don't just shake your head."

Abruptly, she got up and walked to her desk. She was silent, stiff. When she set down the empty cookie sheet tray and faced me, her eyes were intent.

"Do you want to fuck tonight?" she asked bluntly. "Don't feel obligated. You don't want to, we won't."

I sat up, holding the covers. My throat felt dry. "It's always been a choice," I managed. "The answer's yes."

Lisa stood unmoving, one hand on the desk. Like she knew what she wanted, but needed a minute before she said it.

"Then I want you to take charge."

"What?" I slid out of bed. "I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say—"

"You heard right."

I didn't ask why. I knew it had something to do with the phone call. Staring at her, I closed the space between us.

Slowly, I unbuttoned her shirt. Then her pants. She watched as I untied my top, my fingers shaking. Even when I was in charge, Lisa made me nervous. She was utterly still, a statue, as our clothes puddled at our feet. Naked, I took her hand and led her to the bed.

She lay on her back, one arm flung behind her head, regarding me with pale eyes. When I ran my hands down her carved contours, she sighed. Her cock stirred, and I curled my fingers around it. Her balls were velvety in my hand.

"It's okay," I whispered. For her sake, for both our sakes. "Everything's okay."

Her grin looked hollow. "That's the best you can do for dirty talk, girl?"

I flushed. "I — I like your cock," I tried. "I like the way it feels in my hand. The way it fits inside me. The way it — splits me open."

She grunted softly.

"When you look at me — it's like you're going to strip me naked and make a snack out of me." A giggle burst from my mouth. My nerves were all stirred up. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. She waited. "I like what happens when you put your hands on my body. I get so fucking nervous and excited. You make me unbelievably wet. Just being near you, hearing your voice — feel."

I took her hand and brought it between my legs.

"Oh," I gasped at her touch. She didn't move, just let me press her hand against me. I rolled my hips, sliding my pussy against her palm.

"I liked when you spanked me." My confession spilled out. "It was so dirty. Twisted. I've fantasized so many times about you doing that again while I touch myself in bed. And sucking on you. You've barely let me do that. Jesus, I didn't even like giving head, and now—"

I crouched down and swirled my tongue over the head of her cock, sucking her in while I held her hand over my mound. It was erotic, it was overwhelming, it was right to take her as deep as I could. Lisa's low growls and flexing thighs were everything I wanted.

I pulled off her, kissing her cock.

"I— I need you now," I said shakily. her silence drove my nerves higher.

I climbed on top and locked my hands in her, kneeling to take her thick cock in my wetness. I rocked back and forth, easing her inside me, teasing my nipples against the hair on her chest. I stroked her face and feathered kisses over her neck. But it wasn't until my nails dug into her palms, my fingers gripped her wrists, my teeth closed on her lower lip, that she came to life. She rolled me over, pinning me under her body, and fucked me like she was possessed.

"Look at me," I whimpered as she stared over my shoulder.

Her eyes locked onto me. She thrust, grinding into my soaked pussy, and came violently.

Her body was heavy on mine, our faces close.

"Am I still in charge?" I whispered.

In response, she withdrew and stared between my legs. "Perfect," she murmured, more to herself than me. "So perfect." Her eyes traveled up until they met mine, two pale blue flames. "Do you want to be helpless for me?"

"Yes." The word hissed out like steam leaking from a kettle.

"Hands above your head like you did outside. I always finish what I start." Her voice was measured. I obeyed.

Caging my body with her, she reached into her bedside drawer. Out came a short length of rope.

"Oh, you just keep that in there, in case there's an emergency? Good on you for being prepared—"

She put a finger on my lips. In seconds, my wrists were lashed to the headboard. My breath sped up.

She stroked my cheek. "You've never been tied up before, have you?"

"No," I whispered.

"You're a little scared." Fingers massaged my slick folds. "I feel it in your pussy." Her mouth closed on my nipple. She sucked it deliberately, using her teeth on the tender bud.

"Call me names," I pleaded.

"You're not in charge anymore. I'll do what I want with you."

I gasped at the aching fullness of her fingers in my pussy, the fiery pleasure as another probed my ass, the sweet shock of my clit being rubbed.

"Lisa—" I thrashed, and she stilled me with a look.

"You're a mess, Jennie. The most beautiful mess. I wish you could see your cunt, because I've never seen girl parts so aroused and juicy. This is how I think about you. Overwhelmed and at my mercy."

I moaned, my clit swollen and throbbing under her circles, about to plunge into oblivion.

"You're a good little girl. I'm very pleased with you."

I whimpered, trying to close my thighs around her hands. She pushed my legs down with her elbows.

"And you're going to come," she whispered, "for as long as I want you to."

I did. An orgasm crashed into me, peaking between my legs and cresting into a higher wave. Lisa's fingers were everywhere. Huge, invading me. Dazed, I felt her tongue, hot and wet. Hungry. Animal. I was creaming all over her and her sheets, helpless to do anything except writhe. My pussy contracted, my ass rippled around her finger, my clit yielded to her savage caresses, spilling over into each fresh peak.

"Look at you, babe." The words floated over me. "Coming and coming and coming. You can take so much more than you did at the beginning."

Stars burst in front of my eyes when her thick cock filled me in one long stroke. Her thrusts nudged the back of my pussy, brutal and unrestrained. She pinched my nipple painfully, twisting it, and I cried out. I was so vulnerable, bound beneath her.

When she came, it echoed through my body.

She untied my wrists. Curling into her, I drifted.

The night had been so crazy. The blanket at the concert, the people, smoking up, the strain of running into Kai. I wasn't going to think about anything he'd said right now. I was in Lisa's room, safe and held, where the rest of the world didn't matter.

She stirred in my arms.

"Jennie, there's something I need to tell you."

"Hmm?" Drowsy, I pressed a kiss on her shoulder. She sat up abruptly.

"I may not be able to pay you after tonight. This might be the end."

"What?" Struggling for consciousness, I sat up too. "What do you mean? Why?"

"Something's come up."

"I— you can't— we can't just—"

"I haven't decided yet. I promise I'll give you an answer either way." Tension rolled off her body.

"Hey." I stroked her arm. My stomach was dropping, a sick feeling rising like smoke, but I refused to believe this was it. "It can't be that bad. Whatever it is— I'll help you. We can work through it."

"I'm sorry." Her hand lingered in my tangled hair. "I know you were counting on the money. I want you to have everything you're hoping for next year."

Oh, you idiot, Lisa. She thought that's all I cared about? But even though it made my stomach twist, I really had been counting on that money. We were talking about six hundred dollars.

"It's okay," I said brightly.

"No, it's not. Don't pretend with me. You know you can't." Her voice was harsh.

"Then you tell me what the hell is going on."

"Please." With a visible effort, she softened her tone and laced her fingers through mine. "I don't know. I don't even know what's going on myself. I need some time. Jennie…"

I was powerless when she crooned my name in that deep register. I melted against her and let her ease me under the covers. I pillowed my cheek on her hard chest while she massaged the spot on my neck that always put me to sleep.

Say it, Jennie. Say you don't want her money. You just want her.

She turned out the light. I snuggled closer, and her hand stilled on the back of my neck.

"I just want you," I whispered.

Her breathing told me she was asleep.

Breakfast was quiet. I'm sure whatever Lisa served us on the cookie sheet tray tasted good, but I couldn't say what it was. Her eyes were shadowed, and I wondered how much she'd slept. When I couldn't stand the quiet anymore, I asked her to put on music. I waited to see if it would be "The Sound of Silence," but she chose a different album, instrumental, all guitar. No words to fill the space.

It doesn't matter about the money. The sentence waited on my tongue. I don't care, I just want to be with you.

But did she feel the same? She could have said so. I'm out of money, Jennie, but I can't stand to lose what we have… No, she hadn't said anything like that. She'd made it very clear that if the money stopped, so did we.

Whore. Kai's sneer filled my head. That's all you are to her.

I pushed the tray away.

"Had enough?" Lisa's question startled me.

"I'm not hungry."

"That's a first." She smiled, but it was an effort.

The car ride home was quiet, too. If Lisa noticed me stroking the door so I could memorize it, she didn't say so. I might never see the inside of this car again, might never be with her again, and all I wanted was to summon a surge of anger that I cared.

I couldn't.

She walked me to the door of my apartment.

"I'll call you," she murmured in my ear. "Either way, I'll call you and let you know."

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Are you going to be okay?" she brushed her hand over my hair. "If that piece of shit bothers you again, tell me. I won't let him hurt you, Jennie."

What the hell could I say? Kai seemed so far away right now. Lisa in front of me, just out of my reach, was the real source of pain.

I stretched up on tiptoe and kissed her.

Jesus. This kiss. Warmth spiraled through me, wrapping around my shoulders and thighs. I arched against her and deepened the kiss, wanting more and more and more. I wanted my face to stay in her hands forever, my arms wrapped around her neck.

She pulled back. I leaned forward. Just like our first kiss.

"I'll call you," she whispered.

Then she was gone.