Chapter 8

Victoria fluttered her eyes. She still felt a little dizzy. From what again?
Oh, yeah, she had this weird dream. Gradually she became aware that she was in unfamiliar surroundings. She was not in her tavern at all. Then where was she? Victoria moved slightly and cringed when she felt a throbbing pain in her head.
Something or someone gently patted her forehead and temples with a cool cloth.
There was something gentle about how it got done, and it felt pleasant.

Diego! His name suddenly came to her mind. Again, she had been dreaming about don Diego.
However, this time, her dream had been so vivid that she almost believed it actually could have soon as Victoria realized the man beside her was the same person from her dream, she felt startled.

"Don Diego" Her eyes searched anxiously for something to tell her where she was. "Where are we?" Curious, she gazed around her. She was in what appeared to be some underground surroundings.
She saw candles burning everywhere, and now that her eyes got used to the darkness, there was more than enough light to see what were first dark shadows more clearly.

Victoria was amazed by her own imagination. She saw the most remarkable things. On a large, high table were glass bottles and jars of every conceivable size. Against one of the walls were cabinets full of books and a globe, instruments whose names she did not know. The other walls were all decorated with complicated designs with depictions she had no idea how to describe.
She herself sat on a richly ornamented mahogany chair behind the largest desk she had ever seen, covered with paperwork, trinkets, and open books.
Victoria squeezed her arm. That hurt. All right, so that meant she was awake.
If she wasn't dreaming, where the hell had she ended up, and what on earth was don Diego doing here?

Diego looked at her and said in an emotionless voice. "You are in my cave."

"Cave?" Victoria inanely cried.

Diego simply nodded. "Here, eh, I conduct my experiments and prepare myself."

Prepare himself for what? Victoria moaned, feeling another stabbing pain in her head. "Ouch, my head."
Instinctively, she started massaging her temples. Victoria was overwhelmed by another wave of dizziness.
Victoria recalled Diego had wanted to tell her something important. She tried to work out what it was.

"Do you have a headache?" She heard Diego questioningly mutter.

Victoria nodded. Diego got up and walked to a cabinet where herbs were hanging to dry, and more bottles and vials were stored. Meticulously, he selected one. He poured some of the contents into a bowl and added water. "Here, this is willow extract. It helps against the pain."

Victoria took a sip and shivered at tasting the bitter taste.

"Sorry about the taste. It tastes better with some sugar in it. I'm currently working on that."

She had dreamt Diego was trying to confess he was in love with her. Eventually, Diego had claimed something entirely different. And as if by itself, the last words she had heard before everything around her had gone dark rolled off her tongue. "You are Zorro." It was not a question but a statement of fact.

Diego averted his face from her. She could not see his facial expression. She did, however, see his head slowly moving up and down.

In a pained voice, Diego said barely audibly, "That's true." He just couldn't. As much as he wanted to, he could not persuade himself to turn around and watch Victoria gradually or abruptly realize the truth. Not while there was the chance, in a mere instant, his heart got pulverized.
"If you don't believe me, I can prove it. Just look on that rack over there. That's where the suit, sword, and mask are hanging." Diego pointed to a place in the cave where there was less light. "Toronado is outside. I can't bear to keep him in the cave for days. He'll come when I whistle."

Victoria felt like someone was trying to split her head in two with an axe. She got up from the chair and walked half-stunned to the rack Diego had pointed at. There indeed hung the famous black cape, hat, and other clothing. On a table next to it lay the mask. She picked it up. It was identical to the one carefully stored in her bedroom. Victoria gulped. It felt so surreal. Discovering the identity of Zorro was something she had been hoping to find out for several years. Occasionally, there had been an unmasking, and all those times were a bitter disappointment. It was followed by tremendous relief when it turned out that the person was not the genuine Zorro. Don Diego, claiming to be the real Zorro, sounded implausible. For a reason she did not understand herself, Victoria did not doubt an instant that he was telling her the truth. And she did not feel a shred of disappointment.

His hands clenched at the edge of the wooden work table. Diego saw his knuckles turn snow-white. He had wanted so much to tell her. He had been preparing carefully about what to say and how to respond. Should she reject him, he would remain calm. All his senses were on edge. Diego heard gentle footsteps approaching and smelled a hint of her intoxicating perfume. Oh, god, he had not considered for a moment that her fragrance would linger forever present in the cave. If she were to reject him, he would remember her every time he entered the cave. Diego cleared his throat. His mouth was bone dry, and his tongue felt stuck to his palate. He had to speak up, and after he did, there was nothing to do left but wait for her response.
Diego closed his eyes and uttered. "I love you. Please, you must believe me in saying it was never my intention to hurt you. Victoria, I understand you're furious. And...,"

With her fingers, Victoria fiddled with the mask. Diego was Zorro. She still felt perplexed, as if the significance of his words did not yet want to sink into her. Victoria gazed at the tall figure with shoulders lowered. In front of her stood a man willing to give everything, knowing he could lose all.
She so desperately wanted to reassure him, and as it was only natural, her hand reached for his shoulder.

A hand, so soft he could barely feel it, brushed his shoulder. "Victoria, do you suppose you forgive me? Are you willing to give us a chance?" Diego felt the touch freeze. So there you had it - it was to be exactly as it had happened in his worst nightmares.

Her soft voice was like a soothing balm for his aching heart. "What should I forgive you? After all, I knew from the very beginning why Zorro kept his identity a secret. I've known since before we even kissed."

"But, but...," Diego stammered nonsensically. He had anticipated that Victoria would just about burst with anger and reject him furiously as a first reaction. Then, once her temper had slightly calmed, having a conversation with her about how to continue and whether it truly and completely was hopeless. Not that she would understand fully from the first minute, as she seemed to be doing now.

Victoria squeezed herself between the table and his body. Her arms slipped around his neck. In a hoarse voice, she cried, half-sobbing. "Diego, I so badly wanted it to be you."
She crossed the distance between their mouths for a kiss.

After some more kisses, Victoria said. "At least it explains a lot."

Not understanding what Victoria was referring to, Diego stared at her.

Victoria giggled while her eyes were filled with tears. "It explains why Zorro was not the only man in Los Angeles capable of giving me shivers. Why did you think I was so harsh on you at times? I was scared that someone, most of all you, would guess I secretly had a crush on Diego. I tried to deny it for a long time. Until Zafira said something to me that made me see the more I tried to fool myself, the more silly I felt."

"You..., you had a crush on Diego?"

Victoria uttered, full of disbelief. "You never noticed? Of course, I had! Zorro may be my dashing hero on the black horse. As Diego, you had an irritating habit of making me forget all of that at the most unexpected moments. I sometimes thought I was losing my mind."

His ears were buzzing, and his heart was beating so wildly it felt like it could jump out of his chest. "Victoria, do you mean you could love me? Love Diego, I mean."

"Whether I can love you? Diego, I do love you. Did you genuinely think my feelings would pass once you removed the mask? My feelings are not a shallow gust of insanity. Honestly, you are the only one I ever hoped to be Zorro and was convinced could not be real."

Diego lowered his head to avert his gaze from her. "I'm not."

A deep frown appeared on her forehead. "How do you mean you are not Zorro? You just said you were. Isn't this his, eh, your hideout and…,"

Diego shook his head. "It is. But I'm not Zorro. Zorro is me. Zorro merely exists on the occasions when I wear his mask. Without that mask, I am simply Diego de la Vega. A man so desperately in love with the most captivating woman I ever met. Terrified that she will never sincerely love the man. And she would turn me down as soon as she realizes that once Zorro removes his mask, he is just plain don Diego."

"Diego, how can you think such a thing? As Diego, you may not be as..., eh..., amazing as Zorro. I have never been in love with the mask. Only ever with the man. I love you." Victoria rose on her toes. She pulled his head closer to her moist, sensual lips. Two seconds later, Diego was clenching her as tight as he could. Victoria and Diego kissed each other so fiercely that, for them, it felt like the earth was shaking on its foundations.

.

Eventually, it was Victoria who, still panting, was the first to start speaking again. "Zorro has always said not to reveal his identity to anyone. Why me? Why now? What has changed?"

Diego swept a lock of hair out of her face. After a few minutes of cheerful happiness, it was time to face the hard truth. "Why you? Victoria, you have to ask? As for why now?" With his fingers, he stroked her cheek and jawline. "Two reasons. The first is that all the sacrifices Zorro has asked you to make also give you the right to know for whom you are doing it."

Diego seemed so serious it scared her a bit. Victoria whispered. "And what is the second reason?"

"Purely self-interest. Victoria, I didn't want to die without knowing if you could ever develop feelings of love for me." Diego lifted Victoria, spun a semicircle, put Victoria back down, and walked to the desk, where he opened a drawer and grabbed a book. He flipped the book open somewhere halfway and handed the letter he had hidden in the book to Victoria. "It was also because of Zafira. She wrote to me about how Joaquin met his end. They deliberately chose to hand over his body to the authorities. He wanted the bounty money to get used to supporting the revolution. It reminded me that although Zorro may seem immortal, I can guarantee you, it is not the case."

Victoria felt her heart cringe painfully at hearing the name of the woman to whom she could have lost Diego. The letters danced before her eyes. "I still don't understand why you are telling me now. Not that I'm not happy about it." Victoria hastened to add.

"My greatest wish was to have no secrets from you. This letter, the first actual conversation with my father I had in years, and several other things made me increasingly desperate to tell you the truth. After returning Dimitri to his parents a few days back, it became an unbearable burden. I could no longer, nor do I want to risk dying without knowing whether there is the slightest bit of hope for us. It was that and..., as Zorro, I have given myself a task that involves certain sacrifices. However, this does not permit me the right to expect you to make the same sacrifices. In any case, you earn to have at least a choice for a future with or without us."

Victoria bit her lip. She asked. "And by us, you mean Zorro or Diego?"

Diego came to stand so close to her that she had to look up to look at him. "By us, I mean you and me. Victoria, I don't know when I will be free to love and marry you. It may be tomorrow. It's more likely going to take years. It may not even be ever. I cannot expect you to wait that long when I know how much you long for a family of your own."

Victoria disappointedly lowered her head. For a moment, it had seemed that everything she wished for could come true. And now the promise got ruined. "So what you're trying to say is that we can only get married when Zorro is no longer needed? Don't you want a family to have an heir? Don't you want to marry me?"

Diego gently laid his fingers under her chin and lifted her head to him. "Victoria, there is nothing I want more. In an ideal world, I would marry you today. It's just that the moment we announce a possible marriage, de Soto will order a rope around my neck faster than the padre can recite the bans."

With watery eyes, and a tear swirling down her cheek, Victoria stuttered. "And there is nothing we can do? Surely you are as cunning as a fox and have outsmarted de Soto and many others countless times. Please, you must be able to think of something."

"There may be possibilities. Each carries a certain amount of risks, and I don't want to risk your life."

Tentatively, she asked him. "And what about all the risks you take by being Zorro?"

Diego replied by simply telling her the truth. "Anything I do, I do it for you."

His stare was so full of love that, when Diego said these words, tears started running from her eyes again.
Victoria swallowed away her tears.
"Then promise me you will do everything possible to ensure we can be together. Whether someday or hopefully soon."

Embracing her again, Diego felt lost for words. In the end, he managed to utter.
"Soon, that sounds nice. I will, I swear."

After that, there were only words of love and kisses until it was time to return to harsh reality.

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