King Julien ran.
And ran and ran and ran, crossing paths with confused and concerned citizens, refusing to heed their calls towards his person as he raced past them, raced farther into the jungle. He didn't know where he was going but didn't wish to stop, was too afraid to stop. So, he kept running and as he did, he thought. Back on all those seasons spent getting to know Clover.
To both fear and be annoyed by Clover's craziness but also admiring her crazy creativeness that helped her come with all sorts of fantastic ideas, be it her fantasy novels or her insane security plans. To be irritated when she now and again, didn't think through one of those same plans but also applauding her quick thinking. To be frustrated by her insane love for rules but also respecting her dedication for what she believed in. To be exasperated and freaked out when she hovered too close for comfort but also grateful that she did. Grateful that she was always there for him, not just keeping him safe physically but looking out for his emotional well being too, even though matters concerning the latter were so much harder for her then the former. Because underneath her crazy scary outsides, a noble and caring heart beat within her insides. That believed in justice and responsibility and he loved that so much about her.
He loved how her wild jungle eyes lit up when she got an especially freaky idea. He loved how she just radiated energy when she got super happy excited. He loved her crazy scary laugh. It was so beautiful….Clover was beautiful, whether she was beating people up or standing around in her wedding dress.
It was then that Julien stopped running and thought about all that had happened after he first saw Clover in that dress. And as he did, tears pooled in his eyes and his legs began to shake like those of a newborn babe's. Then, they gave out and Julien fell unto his hands and knees, his tears drizzling down into the dirt as his whole body shook from his ragged breaths, as pained whimpers turned into forlorn wails. And Julien kept wailing like a lost child as he curled in on himself, as the terrible truth came down upon him.
The lady was right.
He couldn't deny it anymore. To anybody. To himself.
He was in love with Clover.
He was in love with Clover and he would give anything for her to love him back.
Anything.
….
"Julie!"
"Julie!"
"Julie!"
Rob called out with mounting concern as he anxiously looked around for any trace of his friend.
For after King Julien ran away from the watering hole, Dr. S and Maurice had rushed after him but unfortunately, soon lost his trail. So, the pair then went to Rob and Mort, begging for their assistance. Well, neither Rob nor Mort had to be asked twice and everyone split up in search of their missing companion.
And that was why Rob was now desperately calling out to his friend, searching high and low as he walked alone through the jungle. It was late into the afternoon, which meant that Julien could have been alone with his thoughts for hours by then and Rob shuddered at the thought of just how dark they could be. He prayed that some friendly soul had already found Julien and was giving him the comfort that he so desperately needed, be it from someone else in the search party or another, Rob didn't care! Julien needed help and he needed it now!
"Julie, please! If you can hear me, say something! Dr. S and Maurice told me and Mort what happened! They're not angry with you! None of us are angry with you!" Was Rob's anxious and sincere reassurance.
"You should be."
Rob faintly heard a familiar voice say sadly. It came from behind and above his person and when he looked up into the tree that he had just passed, saw the tip of a black and white striped tail sticking out of it's veil of leaves.
"Julie!" Rob cried out in relief and rushed to climb up the tree. As he approached, the tail swiftly ducked back into it's cover with Rob following suit, behind the veil and unto a branch where he found the rest of Julien hugging his knees with his face turned away.
"Julie..." Rob said with gentle sadness.
"Go away! I'm bad and you shouldn't be near me!" Julien said woefully and without meeting Rob's gaze.
"Julie, please..." Rob begged, coming over to sit close to Julien and laid a paw on his shoulder.
"Get away from me!" Julien snapped and whipped around at Rob, who recoiled in fright.
Upon seeing his startled expression, Julien's own softened as fresh guilt came over him. "Please! Please, just go away! I'm a monster!" He woefully pleaded, hiding his face in his paws.
"You're not a monster!" Rob countered with great conviction.
"Yes I am!" Julien snapped, looking back at him. "Dr. S and Maurice told you what the lady said, right!? That I use people! That I don't care who I hurt as long as I get what I want!"
"Please stop! I know what she said! That doesn't mean she's right!"
"Then tell that I don't love Clover! That I don't wish that she was with me instead of Sage! Go on, tell me!" Julien snapped.
This took Rob aback and even when he got over his initial shock, still couldn't speak. For while he had been behind on much of the latest local gossip for a good while, he still heard things now and then working at the hospital, including speculations on the exact nature of Julien and Clover's relationship. Rob himself had tried to brush it off as just silly gossip and when Julien and/or Clover were especially friendly towards each other, told himself that they were just friends. They had to be, right? Then, Rob would scold himself for taking it all so seriously. So what if Julien and Clover had feelings for each other? Why should he care? They were both adults, they could be together if they wanted to. It wouldn't hurt him in the slightest. Nether the less, it was a topic that he didn't much care for but that persistently kept coming up for seasons and even after people started jumping ship to wonder about Sage and Clover, talk of her and Julien never entirely went away. Not even after the now infamous wedding.
So, Rob remained silent while helplessly looking back at Julien, knowing that if he tried to deny his statement, Julien would see right through him.
"Ha! You can't say it cause you know that it would be a big fat lie! It's so obvious that I love her!" Julien bitterly proclaimed. Then he added, with woefulness now in the mix, "I love her and I'm just gonna keep hurting people as all part of my self centered plot to make her mine!"
"Julie..." Rob said with sad gentle concern.
"You wanna know something that Maurice told me right after I signed that horrible contract? He said that Dr. S saving us might not have been a sign from Frank after all! That it may have just been dumb luck and me, wanting to believe that it was Frank so that I wouldn't have to make Clover come back! And you wanna know what? He was right!"
"He was right! It was just a lucky happenstance that I used to try and trick the peoples, that I tricked myself into believing that it was something more! That I used to rope Dr. S and-and you into my mess! And the peoples into yet another terrible idea! Trusting their lives with a guy who had ever treated them like-like toys! Making them so afraid! And-and sending the freaks away! All to prove a point! My stupid, selfish point that almost got people killed! If Dr. S arrived just a little later, everybody who couldn't run away cause of my dumb ideas and-and everybody who wouldn't leave them, they all could have...you could have…!" Shame wrapped itself around Julien's heart ever tighter as he spoke, piercing through ever deeper with it's sharpened thorns, the blood pouring out in his bitterly rueful lament. Then, he stopped and stared at Rob for a moment. For he knew that his friend had been among those who had refused to leave the injured for dead that day and a fresh wave of shame and horror slammed into him.
"Rob...you could have been killed! I almost got you killed! You and everybody else! You all could have died all cause I care more about making Clover happy then my people's lives! And I don't even care about Clover being happy for Clover's sake but for mine cause I want her to make me happy! I want her to dump Sage and came running to me and love me! Whether she wants to or not! I don't care how she feels! I don't care that she loves Sage! I don't care that she wants to work things out with him! I just wanna-wanna make her feel stupid and listen to me and do as I say and give me what I want! Cause that's all I really care about! Me, me, me and what I want and I want her and I'm gonna keeping everybody to make her mine! Can't you see, Rob?! The lady's right! I am just like my uncle! I am a monster!" As Julien spoke, he felt his skin prickling as if all his sins were crawling between like a billion bugs, swarming throughout his body, threatening to swallow him whole from the inside out. Then, he hugged his knees tight to his chest and bowed his head.
Meanwhile, sharp pangs stabbed Rob's own heart as he helplessly listened, then desperately tried to come up with the words to ease his friend's misery. Finally, he solemnly asked,
"If you really don't care, then why didn't you run away when you had the chance?"
"Uh?" Julien said and peeked over his knees to look at him in confusion.
"You weren't in the medical hut when the fossa started attacking! You could have ran right past us and we never would have been any the wiser! But you didn't! You ran to us! To stand front and center between us and the fossa and I wanna know why! Why didn't you just run away?" Rob passionately argued, already knowing the answer and hoping that Julien would come to the same conclusion.
"I...I-I couldn't, I...I just couldn't..." Julien stumbled and stuttered, too taken aback to find the words.
"Why not!? Why not run away instead of right into the jaws of death!? Why sacrifice your life for lemurs who, according to you, you don't give a damn!?"
"I..." Julien raked his brain but he still couldn't find a good answer and after a moment of dumbly staring at Rob's firm expression, turned his face away and rested his head on his knees.
Rob opened his mouth to talk about the choice that Julien had given both his people and Dr. S that very same day but then stopped. For he then remembered Dr. S and Maurice mentioning the lady's scathing argument against that very same choice. So, he switched to another topic, gently saying to Julien,
"If you really don't respect Clover's feelings, then why tell her that you respect her choice to wanna talk things out with Sage?"
To which Julien snapped, "Yeah and then I went right on treating her like she's an idiot for wanting to talk to him!"
"Okay, fine, yes! You did go back your apology! You did continue to be a stubborn jackass! But then, you apologized again and you stuck to it this time!" Rob argued with great conviction. Julien opened his mouth to argue back but Rob wouldn't let him. "Even telling Clover that she should go talk to Sage the next day!"
"That was Maurice's idea, not mine!" Julien pointed out.
"That you agreed with!" Rob firmly fired back. When Julien didn't respond, he continued. "If you really only cared about having Clover all to yourself, regardless of her feelings, then why tell her that she should go ahead and talk to her husband? Why stand by and let her go to another man? Why not keep trying to convince her to leave that bastard instead? Or at the very least, get her to stay here longer, with you?" And once again, Julien found himself lost for words and it was all he could do but stare dumbly at his friend as he spoke, remaining silent when he stopped.
After a still moment, Rob let out a tired sigh then said, solemn and gentle, "Okay. Okay. Suppose there is a part of you that only wants Clover to leave Sage so that she'll come running to you. That doesn't care about her feelings or anyone else's but your own. Suppose that it is true. I believe that there's another part of you that just wants Clover and everyone else to be happy and that selfless side has been winning against the selfish one again and again." He briefly paused before speaking again, only now with a hint of bitterness now lacing his words. "Believe me, I know all about wanting someone all to yourself. About...giving in to that selfish side."
At Julien's perplexed expression, Rob explained in exasperated fashion, "Me, Julie! I'm talking about me! And you!" Sadness crept into his tone and stayed there as he went on to solemnly say, "Back when we first became friends, I really did care about you, honest I did. But I also wanted you all to myself and when I couldn't have you...I listened to that selfish part of me for so long. And even after I finally stopped throwing a tantrum over you wanting your own life, I still didn't care who I hurt! Just going on torturing lemurs for sick kicks!" Disgust crept in and oozed from Rob's words as he spoke, gripping his head, digging his nails into his scalp as he could feel his own sins crawling beneath the skin.
"Rob..." Julien said with gentle sadness and reached out a concerned paw towards his friend. For he knew all too well what Rob was referring to, including all the unethical procedures, resurrections and other dastardly deeds that he had helped Dr. S with over the seasons.
Then, Rob let go of his head and looked back to Julien. "And yet, even after everything I've done, you still believe that I've changed!" He said with tender awe.
"You have changed! You're not possessive anymore and you haven't hurt the peoples since I started hurting them!" Julien passionately argued, feeling that familiar shame once more tightening around his heart.
"You didn't mean to hurt anyone! And you've been trying so hard to make up for what you've done! And-and almost killing Abner doesn't count as hurting people!?" Rob argued with passion as well, snappish at the end, shame crawling under his skin as he recalled the scissors stabbed into the examination table, the expressions of terror and disgust worn by Abner and Becca.
"You didn't mean to! You couldn't see where the sky was, you were so wiped out from helping everybody! From helping Dr. S help everybody!" Julien frantically argued.
"That's why you've been doing ever since all this shit started! Running yourself ragged trying to help everyone!" Rob threw back. Then, his tone slowed and softened into tender melancholy. "Yes, you have been selfish and you have screwed up. Big time! But you've also been working so hard to fix your mistakes. To be better. To everyone. Including Clover. Including me. Please Julie. You have so much faith in me. I wish you had that same faith in yourself."
Julien remained pensive for a moment more before responding. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you." He threw back, mirroring his friend's gentle sadness.
Now it was Rob's turn to be stunned speechless and it was all he could do but stare at Julien, who responded in kind and they both remained in that pregnant pause for some long moments, neither knowing what to say next. Until finally, it was Rob who cut through it.
"Julie...please come back with me. Everyone's really worried about you." He gently begged.
When Julien remained silent while avoiding his gaze, Rob firmly told him, "I'm not leaving you! Even if it means staying here tonight!
"...Fine, let's go." Julien yielded barely above a solemn whisper.
And so, the pair climbed back down to the ground and headed for the hospital. When they came through the front doors, Maurice and Mort were standing in the waiting room, for the search party had agreed upon that location to regroup. They were right in the middle of a heated conversation that halted in it's tracks upon hearing the doors opening and closing, both turning towards the source.
"King Julien!" They both cried out in shock and relief. Then, sobbing as he went, Mort rushed over to Julien, leapt unto his chest and hugged him tight. Julien, though surprised at first, quickly recovered his somber expression and didn't hug Mort back as he soaked Julien's chest with his tears.
Meanwhile, Maurice approached at a slower, more cautious pace and stopped before his friend.
"King Julien, about earlier...I'm so sorry you had to hear that." Maurice said sadly.
"Me too! You didn't deserve to hear those lady's horrible lies!" Mort lamented.
"They're not lies!" Julien snapped. Then said ruefully, "She's right! I have been twisting knives in the people's hearts!"
"No you haven't!"
"Yes I have! All because I'm in love with Clover and you can't deny that fact, can you!?" Was Julien's enraged challenge. Mort opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it and helplessly looked back at his friend, knowing that he would see right through the lie.
"I didn't think so." Julien snarled, then grabbed hold of Mort and pulled him off his person. Then, after dropping the smaller lemur unto the ground, headed for the door leading into the rest of the hospital.
"King Julien, where are you going?" Mort asked, concerned and confused.
Maurice and Rob asked their own anxious inquiries as well but Julien ignored them all as he kept on walking. Through the doors into the hallway with his friends following close behind, all uneasy as they wondered of what their companion was up to. Then, Julien stopped right outside a patient room and looked over his shoulder.
"I want to be alone." He snarled, slowly and clearly.
Mort started to protest. "But King Julien…!"
"Alone!" Julien whipped around and snapped. Then bolted into the room, slammed the door shut and pressed himself up against it. Both Rob and Mort rushed over and while Rob pushed against the door, Mort leapt unto and started to furiously pull on it's knob but Julien's own force and weight kept it in place. After a moment, while Mort kept pulling, Rob took a step back, pounded his fist on the door and begged,
"Julie, come on! Please open the door!"
But received no response from the other side.
Then Maurice came over to knock on the door and implored. "Please, King Julien! We just wanna talk! Please come out!"
But he too received no response, save for the sound of Mort straining against the doorknob with all his might.
"Will you stop that!? That isn't helping, Mort!" Maurice snapped.
"Then what do you suppose we do!? Huh, Maurice!?" Mort snapped back, pausing his efforts to glare back at Maurice.
"I don't know, maybe give King Julien some space so we can talk among ourselves, take some time to figure out a better plan then-then this?!" Was Maurice's vexed suggestion, spreading out an arm to point out the door and Mort, whose response was to glare at him for a moment more before turning back to said door and resumed pulling.
"Maurice is right, Mort! Force isn't going to help here!" Rob piped in with his own vexed statement. "Look, me and Julien talked some before we came he..."
"What!?" Mort shrieked, leaping from the doorknob to slam into Rob's chest with enough force to send the larger lemur falling flat unto his back. But before he could react, Mort clenched fist fills of his chest fur, got right up in his face and demanded, "What did you say to my King Julien!?"
After a moment of fear and shock, Rob got over it and met Mort's manic glare with his own firm one. "Come back up front with me and Maurice and I'll tell you everything! And get off of me!" Rob said with an irritable snarl at first before snapping, sitting up and yanking Mort off his person, then held him at arm's length.
Mort growled as he continued to glare amber daggers before begrudgingly saying, "Ah, fine!", crossing his arms and pouting.
And so, the trio went back to the waiting room while Julien remained where he was. Soon after, Dr S arrived and was caught up on most recent events. Then, everyone talked some more while the lemurs had food and drink from Rob's snack cart. Dr. S had eaten a very fulling meal a couple days prior and having a very slow metabolism thanks to being a snake, wasn't hungry. Meanwhile, Rob and Mort hadn't eaten since that morning while Maurice hadn't had anything since the previous day. After some nibbling and gulping, Maurice realized that Julien was probably famished as well. So he grabbed a cup of water and a mango and after Rob and Dr. S wished him luck, headed back into the hall and stopped before Julien's room.
"Your majesty?" Look, we don't have to talk if you're not ready. I just want to know if you've had anything to eat today?" Maurice asked with concern.
But received no response.
"King Julien, please! You need to eat!" Maurice anxiously insisted. Then, after a moment's hesitation, grabbed the doorknob, turned it and pushed against the door.
It opened and Maurice saw that Julien was still in the room, lying on one of the beds with his back turned to him.
"King Julien?" Maurice asked cautiously, before carefully closing the door and slowly making his way around to the other side of the bed. Then, felt a sharp pang stabbing his heart upon seeing Julien's grief-stricken expression, the sorrow in his friend's misty bloodshot eyes and his cheeks still wet from their freshest coat of tears.
"King Julien, please! You need to eat something!" Maurice pleaded and held out a mango towards him.
"I'm not hungry." Was Julien's weary response, only giving Maurice the briefest of glances.
"King Julien..." Maurice said sadly. Then, went on to say with tender sincerity, "Rob told me what he told you. About how yes, you have made mistakes! You have hurt people! But that you're also trying so hard to treat everyone better, that you're changing for the better and I agree with him!"
"I haven't changed!" Julien snapped, propping himself up on his elbows while still laying down. "I'm still hurting people! Twisting knives in their hearts! Making them so scared that they're gonna have to fight a war! Or-or that their baby is gonna get eaten!" He argued with bitter ruefulness and Maurice knew of whom he was referring to.
"Give your uncle and Zora time, your majesty. Let them see Dr. S in action for themselves. That's what's been working with everyone else, including me! Including Clover!"
"Clover! She's in so much trouble because of me! Because I just have to keep dragging her into my problems!"
"Your majesty, Clover would be determined to take Zora and your uncle whether you asked her to or not! And you know that she would do anything to keep us all safe! Anything! Because she cares about you! About all of us!" Maurice passionately argued and Julien couldn't disagree. For Clover's loyalty was just one of the wonderful things about her.
"And really your majesty, it's Campion's fault that Clover's in trouble! Him and all the other mountain lemurs who are all so adamant that your uncle doesn't set foot in their kingdom! I mean, I understand not being excited about having your uncle as a neighbor, I really do, but that is still no excuse! Your uncle may remind them of Koto but he is not! Koto! He has never hurt any of them! Ever! There's no good reason to bare him from their kingdom or for Campion to be such a jackass to Clover and Zora! And then there's Clover and you and me and everybody else in this kingdom, you know, the ones who've actually been hurt by your uncle?! Over and over and over again! And yet, we're the ones being the grown ups in all this while Campion is being a whiny, entitled brat!" Maurice argued with great conviction, more and more furiously as he went before coming to a screeching halt.
Then, he stopped to huff and puff and as he caught his breath, Julien mulled over his words. And as he did, his blood began to boil and his face tightened into a scowl. He sat up and swung his legs around to sit on the side of the bed, which he gripped tightly.
"Yeah...yeah! Campion was a jerk, wasn't he?! Going all agro on Clover just because she wants to helps us! For-for standing up for us and-and saying the same thing that you just did! About my uncle hurting me and my peoples but not her's! But does Campion care?! No! He just wants to make everything even worse for Clover and give her even more problems! As if she doesn't have enough problems! And Zora! Going all agro on her just because she wants to judge my uncle in the present and refusing to hear her out! Treating her like-like she's stupid! Like she can't possibly know what's good for her but Campion does cause he's oh so much smarter and...agh! Just, agh!" Was Julien's scathing response, briefly switching to blatantly irate sarcasm which turned back into sincere fury, throwing up his ams in exasperation.
Meanwhile, Julien's words lit a light bulb inside Maurice's mind, shedding light on how several seemingly unrelated pieces of information might in fact fit together to form a much clearer picture.
"King Julien, are you hearing Zora out? About your uncle, I mean. Is that why you're considering that maybe he really has changed? Because of her?" Maurice asked incredulously and yet at the same time, the more he spoke, the more it all made sense, the pieces of the puzzle falling perfectly into place.
"...Somebody has to. Campion's not gonna do it, that's for sure!" Julien snarled. Then, anger gave way to sadness. "He was so mean to her, Momo!"
"Like you were mean to Clover? Treated her like she was stupid because she wouldn't dump Sage?!" Maurice asked critically, his own blood seething at the memory.
Julien bowed his head and gripped the bed even tighter. "Yes..." He said sadly, once more feeling his sinful swarm of bugs crawling beneath his skin.
At this, Maurice's expression softened and he said with tender sadness, "I'm sorry, King Julien."
"For what!? Telling the truth!?" Julien said incredulously, then woefully, "You're right! I was a horrible jerk!"
"No! I mean, yes, you were! But I didn't need to sound so harsh about it! Not today! But that's not the only reason I'm sorry! I'm sorry for what I thought about you about Zora and your uncle too!" Maurice frantically explained.
"Huh?" Julien said and tilted his head in confusion. Then, listened attentively as Maurice took a deep breath and went on to reiterate at a slower, calmer pace.
"What I mean is...this morning, when you talked about thinking that it's possible your uncle really has changed, I didn't know what to think! That all the stress you've been under lately had gotten to you! That you felt so bad for Zora that it was clouding your judgement! That you were just being bland stupid but you're not! It's so much more then that! You want to treat Zora better then Campion treated her, better then you treated Clover! You want to learn from your mistakes, be more compassionate and listen more and-and I'm sorry that I didn't see that! I'm sorry for dismissing your feelings as stupid! They're not stupid! You're not stupid!" Was his contrite confession. Then, he went on to say solemnly and with an edge to his words, "I'm not gonna lie. I still think the whole idea of giving your uncle a chance is crazy! I don't believe for one second that he is anything other then the monster he's always been and as long as he's here, I'm gonna be watching your back! But...you have the right to give him a chance if you truly want to and as much as I wish that you didn't, I'm going to try and respect your feelings. Just, please keep your promise about being careful around him and Zora. Please!" Maurice's words had softened by the end, finishing off with a tender plea to his friend.
"Maurice, I...I promise." Julien solemnly and tenderly swore, taken aback by his friend's words.
After a moment of neither lemur knowing what to say next, Julien asked fearfully, "Maurice...do you think Clover's okay?"
Maurice was taken aback by this question but then answered with a firm, "Yes. I know no matter what's happening right now, Clover's dealing with a whole lot of ugly but she'll be okay in the end. She's tough. She'll be okay!" He tried to reassure both Julien and himself while also doing his best to keep composed, to not betray too much of his own anxiety concerning their friend.
Tears started to well up in Julien's eyes and he let out a shaky breath.
"King Julien..." Maurice said with gentle concern. He sat down next to his friend and reached out a paw.
But before he could hug Julien, Julien grabbed Maurice around his midsection, pulled him close and squeezed him tight. Maurice readily returned the hug and held on tight as Julien held onto him like a lifeline while weeping his shoulder. As that weeping soon turned into wretched wails of sorrow and regret. Not just for Clover but for his lost people. For all their loved ones left behind. For all of his people, including his friends. And for Zora and his uncle as well. For all the pain and lost he had brought upon them all, Julien wept.
He wept loud enough so that neither he nor Maurice heard the door connecting the hallway to the waiting room opening and closing. But then soon after, Maurice did hear a faint sound coming from close by, loosened his hold on Julien and looked over his shoulder. Noticing this, Julien paused his pained cries and looked over as well. And they both saw Rob and Mort standing in the doorway with their own solemn expressions.
"We...can we come in?" Mort asked meekly.
Maurice turned to Julien, who nodded. Mort and Rob walked over to the bed, with Mort jumping onto it while Rob walked around and stopped before their friends. Mort took a step towards Julien but then stopped, while Rob remained where he was, fidgeting with his paws. For while both lemurs desperately wanted to comfort their friend, they were also afraid of that contact being unwanted.
"Julie...can I hug you?" Was Rob's timid and tender question. To which Julien gave him a sad tender look back and nodded. Rob sat down on the bed and gave Julien a warm embrace, which Julien returned in kind.
"King Julien...is it okay if I hug you too?" Mort asked nervously, to which Julien once again nodded. Mort hopped onto his shoulder and hugged his head. Maurice then joined in with his own warm embrace and Julien readily wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to return it in kind. Then, he wept once more while his friends wept along side him.