Author's notes:
Next chapter is here! I have actually taken longer writing this one because I have have also been writing the next chapter—sometimes it's important for me to write multiple chapters at once to decide where I break them up, and the next chapter is a BIG one. Lots of character interaction and important…conversations covered off in this one! I hope you enjoy, and thank you again for your ongoing support of this story!
As always, make sure to check out the important notes from the Prologue if you haven't already. Enjoy!
Music rec – I have two for this one, given it's such a long chapter! The first is suited to the first half to two-thirds of the chapter, and the last for later (you'll see why I'm sure…)
Lose Control by Evanescence
Colours of the Wind cover by Tori Kelly (so beautiful!)
Chapter Twenty-Three
Her dreams started to change, then.
Moonlit marble and piercing crystal, the kingdoms that tied her past and her future, gave way to baron land that was hot and scarred and stifling with pain. Where she had once lain upon the grass beneath the clear sky, or stood among the stone pillars in the silence of space, she found herself suddenly in the thick of destruction—thrown to a world decimated by chaos.
"No, no, no, please! No!"
People screamed, they cried, and yet she could do nothing. She moved excruciatingly slowly through this war-torn place, as the hot red rock burned the soles of her feet, pinkish rain blurred her vision and the fight raged on all around her. Black, soulless forms ripped innocent people apart, taking their Star Seeds with them. Lightning cracked at the land and illuminated the tragedy that was splayed out in the darkness before her: homes left with nothing but fallen bodies and orphaned children; a devastated world so tarnished that hope had been burned from all existence.
She couldn't bare it, and the anger ached in her.
"This is just the beginning, if this is the game you want to play."
Iciness spread to her hands, fisted at her sides as she felt her body ignite—she shook, and her blood pummelled in her veins. The power was uncontainable—uncontrollable—and as it took hold of her, she relented to it.
I am.
A primal cry clawed its way from inside her, and the surge moved her body faster than she even knew possible. Blind and wild, she struck them down—her limbs stronger, her blows harder, her battle ruthless. She tore them apart, just as they had done, and crashed to her knees when she was nothing but a glimmering, shaking mess with blood on her hands.
There was only quietness then, in the hot rain and the stickiness that clung to her, as her power hummed inside her. She felt maddened by its intensity, panting as she stared down at her hands. Crystal—all she could see was piercing, glistening crystal.
"Odango!"
His voice echoed, and she saw his beautiful aoi glow through the murkiness—a sharp sapphire, suspended before him. Like his surrender—like an offering
No.
"Seiya!" She shot toward him, but as she neared Chaos' taunting face appeared behind him, along with a barrier that blocked her path to him. Chaos smiled, circling the Starlight.
"No!" She pounded her fist against the wall separating them and the electrified barrier shocked her, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything but saving him.
Seiya stared back at her, his eyes dull as he hovered his hand beneath the jagged stone that was his Star Seed. He was beaten and weak—no outline of blue, no wings—frayed, just as she felt. He shook his head and smiled at her. "Don't worry, Odango."
Chaos eclipsed him then, and the panic and desperation and rage seized her. She beat against the barrier, again and again, until it felt like her wrists would break; screamed for him, because she could not lose him—not now. Not as she was realising everything he was to her.
One final crack as she cried out, her wings splaying out from her back in perfect pain, and the barricade shattered into millions of fragments—but there was nothing behind it. Just darkness and silence and the sparkling remnants of the shield that had kept her from him.
Just her, on her own once more.
"Again!" Haruka barked at the blonde as she heaved herself to her feet. "Give me everything you've got, Usagi!"
Seiya ground his teeth as he watched from the sideline, swamped by the irrefutable frustration that radiated from the Moon princess. The shrine's grounds were growing dark as summer storm clouds rolled in with the evening, leaving the air humid and suffocating. Haruka, Michiru, his fellow Starlights and Usagi had decided to meet early at the shrine to discuss the night prior, before the others arrived—but the moment Haruka had swept an eye over Usagi, she had dragged her onto the field to release some of the emotion that was bubbling away inside her.
He had to admit, it wasn't such a bad idea.
Usagi growled and thumped into Haruka, hard, but she blocked the attack, her heel firm in the dirt. "You're angry, so let it out," she hissed, their faces inches apart and arms locked. "You're stronger than this, Usagi."
The young woman glowered at her. "You of all people should know how strong I am."
Haruka tutted, a smirk crossing her features as she tried to overpower her. "Oh, I know—I haven't forgotten the dirty tactics Michiru taught you, kitten," she said. "But that won't work on everyone."
The image of Usagi sprawled across Haruka's lap, the Uranian senshi's back flat to the grass where she'd been taken down, crossed Seiya's mind, and quickly after, Usagi's bunny rabbit lingerie. He shook off the thought. Not the time to be wondering about Odango's dirty tactics, Kou…
Haruka shoved her and she stumbled, breaking them apart, and Usagi shook her head. "Maybe not," Usagi said. "But by all accounts, what I did the day Rini went after Chaos certainly worked."
He could see that, too—as she strode toward Haruka with a warrior's gate, eyes hard and body strong, bringing the senshi to her knees. Haruka must have seen it, too, because her gaze hardened. She did not like being reminded of her failure, even when it had opened her eyes to the power her princess held. "Well, then," she said through clenched teeth, moving toward her slowly, "where was that last night?"
Usagi's expression shifted and Seiya feltsomething coil in his gut. "Tenou…"
"Hm? Where was it?" Haruka continued, ignoring his warning and taking a swipe at her, which Usagi evaded, eyes dark and focused on her opponent. "Where was that power when we needed it?" Another strike—quickly dodged. "When people were suffering?" Another, and another. "When you had your chance?"
He made a move toward them, to stop her, but Haruka was fast. "Tenou, don't —"
"Where was your power when we needed it, princess?"
The final swing came toward Usagi in what felt like slow motion—a real punch—and as though it were the easiest thing in the world, Usagi caught it in the palm of her hand. A silvery glow emanated from her body, and in the split second that Haruka tried to struggle, Usagi struck her chest with such force that it threw Haruka back onto the dirt, tearing up the terrain. Usagi stared at her, shaking and glowing, emotions crossing over her lovely face too quickly for Seiya to process.
Not for the first time, it was his turn to ask: what are you, Odango?
There was a whistle from behind him as Yaten clapped in appreciation. "Nice shot, Usagi!"
Haruka pushed up to her elbows, dabbing her lip with the heel of her hand as it bled. She smirked. "There it is…"
Usagi looked ropable, and as she took a step toward her, Seiya intercepted. "Odango," he said, blocking her path with his hands up, "as happy as it makes me to see you kicking Tenou's ass, I think she's had enough..."
She looked past him, her fierce gaze still set on Haruka and her breathing heavy. "I couldn't control it," she said, voice thick. She made a move toward Haruka, but Seiya stopped her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Beneath his touch her bare skin was ice hot. "I couldn't do anything—you know that—"
"I know, kitten—I do know that," Haruka replied, a hint of remorse in her voice. "But I also know how angry you are, and that emotion is the key to your power—I had to tap in to it, somehow."
Usagi glared at her. "I'm not your puppet—you can't just experiment on me!" She shook her head. "After everything that happened last night, how could you—"
"What happened last night?"
Rei descended the shrine stairs and out onto the grass, followed closely by the other inner senshi and Hotaru. Mamoru hung in the doorway, Setsuna at his side, and Seiya felt the tension rise. "Not here—we should talk inside."
They agreed, faces wary as they made their way into the shrine without further question. Seiya met Usagi's eye, taking advantage of their moment alone. "She deserved everything you dealt her," he said. "A couple more seconds and I would have—"
"She's right, Seiya," Usagi cut in, "where was my power when I needed it?"
He sighed softly and drew the palm of his hand down to sit on the centre of her chest, right over her heart's crystal. "Here, Usagi," he told her, as her energy charged up his arm like wildfire. "Come on, let's get inside."
The group was silent as they made their way inside, making themselves comfortable and looking around at the others expectantly. Seiya glared at Haruka as she leant against the window and pressed a cloth to her lip, but she simply drew an eyebrow up at him in response. What she had said to Usagi was tactless and cruel—but he knew why she had done it.
"What happened last night, Usagi?" Rei repeated coolly, arms folded over her chest. She looked around at the others. "Haruka and the Starlights clearly know about it—"
"Rei," Ami said gently, "give her a moment."
Seiya watched Usagi's eye dash across to Mamoru, and back to her senshi. "I went after Rafu, at that club Aito told us about—"
"You what?"
"Alone?"
"She wasn't alone," Seiya interrupted, moving to stand alongside her. "I organised the whole thing—I asked Taiki and Yaten to help, and Haruka and Michiru happened to be there by chance."
"Is that true, Haruka?" Setsuna asked.
She glanced at Seiya—they couldn't know, not even Michiru. She nodded. "It was a complete coincidence."
Makoto shook her head. "Why didn't you tell us, Usagi? Why didn't you ask for our help?"
"Because I knew what you would say—that it's too dangerous; that there would be a safer way," Usagi replied. "I'm sick of taking the safer way—that is never what we used to do." She inclined her chin. "We used to take chances and never give these things a second thought—"
Rei bristled. "That was when we knew our future—that's different now, we can all feel it—"
"What difference does it make, Rei?" Usagi argued. "We're still fighting for our future—and I'm not going to let Chaos destroy my friend because we're too afraid of what might happen—"
"But Usagi," Minako pressed, "without you, there is no future."
Usagi stared at her, gaze fierce. "I don't care," she said, the words tearing Seiya in two. She did care—but she didn't want to, not any more. He knew that. "We will find a way—you said that yourself."
Minako looked away, lips pursed, and Seiya knew he wasn't the only one torn by Usagi's words.
"Usako, even if there is a way, you can't put yourself in harm's way," Mamoru said after a moment. "You just can't."
The nickname for the young woman made Seiya's jaw clench, that protective streak and dash of immaturity simmering under the surface, and before he could stop himself, he said: "Well that's not really your call any more, now is it?"
He regretted the words as soon as they rolled off his tongue.
Haruka snapped her gaze to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"
The others looked between them worriedly. "What's going on, Usagi?"
Seiya tried to catch Usagi's eye—to tell her he was sorry—but she simply stared across at Mamoru, breath hitched. It was only then that he noticed Setsuna's gaze dart away—the only person in that room other than himself utterly unsurprised. You knew, too.
"Usagi and I have ended our relationship," Mamoru said finally. He nodded at her gently—reassuring her it was the right thing to say; the right thing to do. "We decided it was for the best."
The room was silent as the news sunk in.
Haruka was the first to speak, her expression unreadable. "When?"
"The day Mamoru arrived home," Usagi replied. "We both needed…time, before we could tell you all."
"Rini," Hotaru breathed, her dark eyes snapping up to Usagi. There was no doubt they had all seen the girl since their break-up. "The prophecy—it must have been right—"
"Does she even know?" Rei interrupted coldly. "You took your time telling us—did you put your own daughter through the same uncertainty?"
Usagi frowned at her. "Rei, that isn't fair—"
"No, Usagi, this isn't fair!" She said, suddenly on her feet. "After everything we have done—given everything we know, how could the two of you do this?"
Makoto stood and grasped her arm. "Rei—"
"Don't!" She snapped, tugging her arm away. "You risked everythingon a whim that your so-called prophecy would be right!" She shook her head angrily. "Your own daughter's life—"
"You think I haven't thought about that, Rei?" Usagi snapped, glaring at her. "Do you think I haven't thought about what it could have meant for her—"
"I don't think you thought at all," Rei said savagely. "I knew you were dense, Usagi, but this is just plain selfish and stupid—"
Seiya bristled rapidly as her tone grew more hostile. "You are way out of line—"
"I'm out of line?" Rei cried. "You need to take a good look at yourself, Seiya—I don't doubt you had an influence in this—"
"Don't bring Seiya into this," Yaten snarled. "All he's ever done is wanted what's best for your princess—"
Rei glared back at her. "And we don't? How dare you even suggest that—"
"Rei, you need to calm down—" Minako tried, but it was no use—the raven-haired warrior was not backing down.
"Every time she has needed us we have supported her—trusted in her. Watched her be torn apart, over and over." Her voice cracked and her eyes shone with furious tears as she stared at Usagi. "And now…"
Usagi approached her, but Rei stepped away. "Rei, this isn't your choice to make—you have to understand—"
"I do understand, Usagi," she replied coldly. She turned for the slider, slipping past Mamoru without so much as a look. "And you're not the only one who has had to make sacrifices."
Silence returned to the space in her absence, and Usagi stared after her, emotions crossing her face quickly. She looked around at the group. "Does anyone else want to rip us both to shreds?" She said, voice strangled. "Because now's your chance."
"Usagi," Luna scolded disappointedly.
Usagi brushed past Seiya to stare out the window, sniffling lightly. She stilled, watching the dark rainclouds gather in the sky, shoulders tight by her ears. The incomprehensible pressure of their predetermined fate had the power to tear them apart—in spite of their loyalty, love and commitment and in spite of what they had endured in times gone by. As their reality grew more uncertain, it led them to breaking point—sometimes bringing out the best in them, and sometimes bringing out the worst.
"Rei shouldn't have spoken to you like that," Minako said after a moment. "But you shouldn't have kept this from us, Usa." She looked across at Mamoru. "Neither of you should have. We're a team."
"You're right, Minako—we are a team," Mamoru said, speaking for the first time since their announcement, "and sometimes what's best for the team is not knowing."
"You were never going to tell us?" Makoto asked.
"That wasn't our intention—when we felt the time was right, we were going to tell you all." Mamoru replied, glancing at Seiya—the one who had forced them to reveal their break up prematurely.
I won't apologise to you—to Odango, maybe, but not to you, Seiya thought bitterly. Perhaps this was for the best.
"Our being together represents far more than just a regular relationship, and it has never been solely our business," he continued. "It's a part of who we are and who we are destined to become—which makes it nearly impossible for any of us to look at this rationally."
"With irrational thinking comes the possibility of delusion," Ami remarked cryptically. The comment lingered with Seiya as he watched Usagi's back, the rise and fall of her shoulders as she tried to breathe it all away. Perhaps the irrational choice Ami referred to was not their break up, but instead the decision to believe every detail of what they had been told of their future without question.
Artemis, who was perched on Minako's lap, hummed warily. "The two of you need to think very carefully about this," he said, looking over at his female companion at Ami's side. "Tell them, Luna—the Silver Millennium, Queen Serenity, their future—"
"I can't, Artemis," Luna said. She sat tall, red eyes watching Usagi with concern. "I can barely remember the time of the Silver Millennium or our majesty. How can I say with any certainty that this is what is supposed to be?"
The white cat shook his head. "But they belong together—"
"Belong," Usagi murmured, rolling the word long off her tongue like a curse. She curled her fists at her side, and the power that began to radiate from her shot tension through the room. "I don't belong to anyone."
Michiru frowned at her. "Of course you don't, but you must understand—"
She whirled on them, that silvery aura radiating beneath her skin, her hair, her eyes. Seiya was sure that Mamoru would stand to attention then—he was sure that they all would. "I am not the princess who belongs with her prince," she growled. "I'm not."
Her energy nearly suffocated him—a feeling so potent that he instantly wanted to touch her; to hold just a little piece of her power, for just a moment. It was dizzying, and suddenly the words of her prophecy were echoing in his mind.
She obeys no one. Lives for no one. Needs no one.
She's losing control of this, he realised, andfear clawed at him then. He knew he had to save her from the chaos that was tugging her from reality—if nothing else, he would do that. He would.
Makoto shook her head. "We don't think that of you, Usa—"
"Then stop treating me that way!" She exclaimed. "I'm more than that—we're all more than that—than this—"
"Usako—"
"Stop calling me that!" She glowered at Mamoru, and from the corner of his eye, Seiya noticed Setsuna stand upright as Usagi's form grew brighter; more threatening. "Just stop—"
Seiya stepped toward her and reached out to grasp her fist at her side, no longer caring how it looked or what was right. He took her hand and her power burst beneath his skin, raging through his system like wildfire. "Usagi…"
Her wild eyes met his and she exhaled sharply at the sound of her name on his lips and the touch of his hand against her own. Perhaps it was the energy he had taken from her—just a fraction—that had calmed her, or perhaps it was merely him. "It's okay," he whispered, barely audible to anyone but her.
"Is this what you have seen—this shift in her power, her demeanour?" Mamoru asked the group, as though Usagi wasn't there. "This isn't like her…"
"This is just a glimpse," Haruka muttered. She shuffled in her spot where she leant up against the window, gaze meeting Seiya's and then flicking across to Mamoru. "It isn't for us to say what is and is not like Usagi."
What?
I've never been particularly fond of our prince, he could suddenly hear her saying days earlier, but as our future king, we do what is right by him.
The Uranian guardian, who had always fought staunchly for what they knew, was rethinking everything —he could see it, written all over her face.
Setsuna interjected quickly. "None of this is how we expected it to be—the changes in Usagi's power, the enemy, Rini and Chibi Chibi and Helios…" She trailed off and shook her head. "This entire path is unknown to us."
"That's how it should be," Seiya replied firmly. He let go of Usagi's hand and turned to face them. "You need to fight in the present—this worry of the future and what is meant to be is warping your ability to make the right choices."
"It's all we've known, Seiya," Michiru said. "It's what we've always fought for—the right choices are the ones that best serve our future."
"And what about your princess—your friend?" Seiya argued heatedly. "Doesn't that matter to you—"
"Seiya," Taiki warned. "This is not our place."
He bit his tongue, but Yaten spoke instead, her eye on Minako. "Maybe not," she said, "but we've seen first hand what can go wrong if you let things out of your control."
Seiya glared at her. "Are you agreeing with this—"
"No," Yaten said quickly, "but I get it."
Minako looked between Mamoru and Usagi, and then to her friends. "It's such a risk…" She started, as though she wasn't sure what she wanted to say. "For everything we've done—for what it might mean…"
Usagi shook her head—in disbelief, perhaps, or in disappointment. "I can't…" She squeezed her eyes closed. "I have to go…"
There was a beat of hesitance among her senshi as she dashed out of the room—her schoolbag left lying by the door; no umbrella to shield her; nothing more said. Seiya made after her, turning back for just a moment to say: "You all need to think carefully about what you're fighting for."
By the time he got out into the rain, she was gone.
She didn't want to be found—not by Seiya, not by her friends, or Chaos, or anyone.
She just wanted to be alone, in the drizzle that spotted her clothes and the deluge of emotions that reminded her she was still human, for just a little while.
Tokyo's streets were bustling with evening traffic, laughing couples and bumping umbrellas. Restaurants were filled with patrons, gathering for good food, even better company and a place that was out of the summery storm that was passing through.
Another storm.
She moved along the sidewalk and took in every sound, every smell, every feeling, and wondered where she had gotten lost, along their bumpy path.
You're not lost—you are simply evolving, something said within her, you have to believe.
"Usagi," she hummed to herself, "what do you believe?"
The answer came to her, clear and simple: love.
Of course—it was always her answer. Love held more power than anything in their universe—she had always known that, and felt it in her heart, and it had helped her overcome many battles in her past. She was beginning to realise, though, that love could not be propped up by hope and faith alone—it needed ferocity, sacrifice, fight, to overcome the adversity she had seen.
Love flourished onlywhen every chaotic part of life was accepted—without struggle, without shame, and without judgement.
Perhaps it meant that a part of her innocence—her naivety—was gone, but she didn't want to be ignorant. She wanted to know her world for exactly what it was: beautiful and bountiful, bloody and brutal.
And I love it more than ever before.
"Chibi?"
She startled as the little girl's voice rang clearly from behind her, and there she stood—so tiny and wide-eyed beneath her purple umbrella. The mysterious toddler was alone—much like she was—an unharmed beacon of light amongst the commotion of the city's busy streets.
"Chibi Chibi, what are you doing out here all alone?" Usagi knelt down to her height and frowned at her. "You shouldn't wander off—you have to stay with Mama…"
Chibi Chibi stood on tiptoe, extending her arm above her head and thrusting the umbrella high enough to cover Usagi as well as herself. She grinned. "Mama, Mama!"
Usagi's breath caught—she knew the little one loved to repeat everything she heard, but there was just something that made her stomach flutter as she said those words, eyes alight. A sense of contentment and calmness rushed over her for the first time since Seiya had taken her hand and drawn her back from the edge. "Thank you, Chibi," she said, grateful for the shelter from the spitting rain. "But I think we should get out of this storm, don't you?"
"Storm, storm!"
She laughed and scooped her up, holding the umbrella over their heads as she made her way toward Crown Fruit Parlour. The seating out the front of the café was undercover, quiet with only the patter of raindrops and people wandering by. "How about one ice cream sundae each before we head home, hm?" She said, popping Chibi Chibi down onto a seat alongside her. "Ice cream takes all your troubles away, Chibi."
Chibi Chibi bounced on the spot excitedly. "Troubles, troubles!"
"That's right," she said. She reached over to smooth out the unruly curls that had sprung lose from Chibi Chibi's buns in the humid air, but the child huffed at her and mussed her hair once more with her hands. Usagi chuckled. "Okay, okay...fussy…"
"Usagi?"
She turned toward the apprehensive voice, throat tight as she saw Minako, Makoto, Ami and Hotaru standing nearby. "You found me," she said weakly, returning her attention to Chibi Chibi.
"We thought you might be here—just a hunch," Makoto said as they approached. "Sweet treats fix everything, right?"
She quickly grew defensive. "If you're here to tell me I've made the wrong choice, you're wasting your time—"
"We're not here for that, Usa," Hotaru said, breaking away from the others to sit beside her. She placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle smile. "We just want what is best for our friend."
Usagi looked at her, and then around at her friends. "Really?"
"Really," Minako assured. They sat with her, and she could see then how they looked worried and tired, beaten and a little defeated—just as she felt. "That's all we've ever wanted."
Usagi let out a long breath, sitting with Minako's words. "I know that," she said finally. "But even so, sometimes it just doesn't feel that way."
Minako nodded. "Our duty has always been to protect you—now more so than ever." She chewed her lip. "We have stood by you, no matter what, but we realise now that we haven't always supported you."
"Our situation…it's difficult," Ami said. "Perhaps Setsuna is right—maybe your union with Mamoru is necessary for saving the people of Earth, if that time comes…but this is about so much morethan that."
"It's about Rini's life, too—it has always hung in the balance," Hotaru finished. "And as your guardians, we must protect her, too."
Usagi averted her gaze, training it instead on Chibi Chibi, who seemed to be listening intently alongside her. There was a time days prior when the thought of her actions drowned her with guilt, but in that moment she felt something else entirely. "That's my job, too," she said, sitting tall. "And I may have taken a risk, but I know I couldn't have put her through a lifetime of unhappiness—in a home where her parents were no longer in love; as a princess who was lonely and segregated from the world." She shook her head, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of forgiveness she was allowing herself. "Even if Crystal Tokyo still comes to pass, I won't let any of that happen now."
Her three inner guardians exchanged glances, and Minako gave her a sad smile. "And that's what we haven't done for you, Usagi: taken a risk to bring you the happiness you deserve."
"We've known you weren't happy in your relationship for a while now, Usa," Makoto said, and then hesitated to add: "Rei was the first of us to notice that something wasn't right between the two of you."
"You always had arguments, but you always made up, too, and went back to being soin love," Minako said. "When that started to disappear, we knew…"
Usagi looked down into her lap, recalling all the times she had held her rapidly changing feelings for Mamoru close to her heart—away from where she thought anyone would notice. Of course they noticed—they always did.
"We did the wrong thing by you, Usagi—encouraging you to remain together, in spite of how unhappy you have been," Ami told her. She snaked a hand across the table and curled it around Usagi's. "But we're not going to do that any more. Risks or no risks."
Minako met her gaze. "Please forgive us, Usagi," she said quietly. "Let us support you like we should have."
She swallowed, tears hot in her throat, and she let out a choked laugh. "You guys," she started, "I know we're not always going to agree, and sometimes we may not even support one another entirely in the choices we make." She smiled at them. "But if we can respect each other's decisions, try to understand one another, I know we will succeed."
Hotaru smiled back. "You're right, Usa."
"I meant what I said," Minako added, "no matter what this means for the future, we will find a way."
"We will," Usagi agreed firmly. Her spirit fell as she thought of the other senshi. "And I need you all to do that…"
Makoto hummed. "Rei will come around," she said. "And the others are already on your side—trust me," she said with a smirk. "After you left I thought Haruka was going to rip Mamoru to shreds…"
"Michiru-mama was the one who told her not to—that it wasn't their place to intervene anymore," Hotaru added. "And Setsuna-mama, well…"
She trailed off, and Usagi filled the void—she knew the words the young girl had almost said—but it wasn't the time or the place to talk about her adoptive mother's connection to Mamoru. "I know it will take time for them to accept this," she said. "But Seiya was right—we have to fight in the present."
Seiya.
She wasn't mad at him—not in the slightest. He had simply begun what they had been too afraid to tackle, and then brought her back down as her emotions overran her. She could still feel their intertwining energies as he took her hand and told her, once again, that it was okay.
So long as he is here, she found herself thinking, everything will be okay.
"Chibi!" The toddler shrieked, as a collection of water gave way from the lightweight pavilion above them, splashing her in the process. "Chibi, wet!"
The girls held back their laughter as the child spluttered and shook out her soaked curls. "Oh, Chibi," Usagi said with a chuckle. She stripped off her sweater and draped it over her, ruffling the fabric through her hair. "I'll bet that gave you a fright!"
Chibi Chibi blinked back at her, azure eyes wide, and for a moment Usagi worried that she might burst into tears—instead, she giggled loudly. "A fright, a fright!"
Their laughter only incited her cheekiness, as she made faces and wrapped Usagi's jacket around her in a silly fashion. "She never wants anyone to worry about her—she's always looking for the positives in a bad situation," Ami said, giving Usagi a smile. "Just like you, Usagi."
"And she loves to be the centre of attention," Makoto said, quirking a brow at Usagi. "I can't decide if that's like you or not…"
Usagi rolled her eyes. "Totally not like me, Mako…"
The tension in the air dropped as they relaxed into the normal rhythm of their friendship, albeit missing part of their group. It was incredible what a little light-heartedness and laughter could do for an aching heart. "I'm going to order food," Usagi announced, rising from her spot. "What would you like—"
She felt it before she heard it: the cry of sheer terror that had become so familiar.
They were immediately alert and on their feet, her warriors transforming before her as she shielded Chibi Chibi behind her. The street before them boomed with blinding red light, halting traffic and scaring frightened citizens away, and as the beam grew wider and higher to the sky, it split the road open beneath it. "Not again," she hissed. She looked at Chibi Chibi. "No matter what happens, you stay behind me, or you run, Chibi."
The light dissipated in crackles and zaps of energy, leaving behind it a circle of dark, humanoid figures, wielding weapons unlike anything she had ever seen in their many battles—long blades, some smooth and glinting onyx, other jagged and sharp black crystal. They stood still and lifeless in the storm with their eyes closed—as though they waited for their command.
These are the humans who were taken by Chaos, Usagi realised in her panic, this is a taste of the army he is creating.
"Please, scouts, be careful!" She cried, as they flanked her protectively. "These are people, just like us, taken by Chaos! He will stop at nothing to destroy us!"
There was movement from within the circle the forms had created—the shadow of a man, slipping between them like smoke; like an illusion. "You think you know it all, Guardian," Chaos said, amused as his black eyes trained on her. "How wrong you are…"
The senshi standing before her tensed and readied themselves for battle, but Sailor Saturn stepped forward, the swish of her scythe clear through the heavy rain as she pointed it toward him. "Only cowards steal the lives of innocents to do their bidding," she said. "And only cowards hide from battle." She narrowed her dark eyes and slammed the end of her weapon into the concrete with force. "You may have been the one to free me before—but this time I will not be stopped."
No.
Suddenly she was back breaking through the dome of energy built by Pharaoh 90, watching the swings of Saturn's long blade as she sacrificed herself for their planet, their future, and the father she had lost to evil. Their enemy showed no mercy for her then, tearing her body and soul apart as she fought relentlessly. She remembered forcing her body through the force field that worked against her, and finally unleashing the power of her crystal—seconds too late. The light disappeared from her friend's eyes as Chaos was destroyed by their combined powers, and Usagi could feel her arms catching her as she fell; she could see the young girl's body rescind to an infant as the Silver Crystal spread its light to her.
She wouldn't let that happen again.
"Saturn!" She cried, forging toward her. "Saturn, don't do this! We will find another way!"
She wasn't fast enough.
The petite guardian, so strong as she stood at the front line, swung her glaive around herself defensively as Usagi and the inner senshi tried to approach—to discourage her from taking the step that would take her life.
"Don't do this, Saturn!"
"We can destroy him, together!"
Saturn shook her head decisively. "This is my purpose," she said. "You have disrupted peace for too long, Chaos—I will silence you!"
Chaos' mirage was barely visible behind the downpour and mist, but his voice continued to boom. "Soldier of death, ruin, silence, rebirth…" He laughed, a rumble in the storm. "Don't you see? Your power will only work on those destined to die—and I am not."
Saturn did not falter. "It is my duty to try," she said. She held the glaive up to the sky, and glanced back at Usagi. "For you and this galaxy."
Usagi ran for her—but she knew it was too late. "No—!"
"Silence glaive—!"
The incantation was left incomplete as the figures before them opened their blood-red eyes and unleashed a wall of power so strong it floored them all, thumping into the young girl's body and throwing her to the ground. Her scythe clattered to the concrete to lay metres from her limp form, and Usagi crawled toward her with a cry. "Hotaru…"
"It is pointless," Chaos said, smirking at them as he turned his back, fading away—escaping, again. "Soon, Guardian, all of this will end."
He vanished and Usagi scrambled toward Hotaru as the monsters surged toward them. She gathered her up in her arms as her fuku disappeared, leaving behind the pretty elfin girl in her purple dress edged with lace. Hotaru looked up at her weakly. "I'm sorry, princess—I failed…"
"Don't you dare," Usagi said. She drew a hand to her cheek, and instantly felt the power she needed flare within her—energy she could give her to save her life. She looked up to her scouts. "I need you, now!"
There wasn't a moment spared.
"Oak, evolution!"
"Aqua, rhapsody!"
"Love and beauty, shock!"
Each lash of power, in zaps of green, blue and gold, struck their enemies with as much strength as they could muster—but it wasn't enough. The figures moved unpredictably and quickly, taking every opportunity to slice at the air between them, missing them by mere inches. They screeched and cried as they sought nothing more than bloodshed, dark energy emitting from them and weakening every blow her senshi dealt them. "It's no use…" Usagi said, as she focused every ounce of light from her own body into Hotaru's. The girl's skin glimmered white gold, the Saturnian symbol shining brightly upon her forehead.
Usagi knew she was growing weaker by the second as she gave life back to the soldier in her arms.
Sailor Venus shot out a long chain of gold, wrapping it around her opponent's wrist—but it was stronger, tugging her forward and taking the opportunity to stab it's long sword straight for her heart.
"Venus!"
She rolled away as Sailor Jupiter struck the form with a bolt of lightning. "We can do this—we have to try!"
Usagi's body slumped as she held tight to Hotaru with Chibi curled at her side, her tiny hand intertwined with the young girl's. "It is our duty to try," Usagi repeated to her, winning her a frail smile.
A menacing giggle sounded from nearby, and she looked up to see the young woman she had been unable to save nights earlier lurching toward them. She looked chilling, with her icy, tattered hair and shadowed skin, the pretty dress she had worn tainted with blood spatter. She held the same long hunting knife in her hand, raised toward them as she approached, and as Usagi's vision swum with her dissipating energy, the gleam of Hotaru's glaive caught her eye. She willed everything she had left on the weapon that lay well out of reach, and it began to tremble violently until the hooked blade froze in crystal, spinning across the ground until it was alongside her.
I can do this.
Her weakness did not stop her then—she grasped the scythe just in time, clashing the metal against the young woman's knife as she swung it down upon them. She struggled—the tip of the hunting knife drawing nearer and nearer as her strength waned, and she panted as she pushed back. She wouldn'tlet Chibi Chibi and Hotaru come to harm—she simply wouldn't.
There was a grunt as Jupiter dove into the figure, tackling her to the ground and trying desperately to disarm her without being sliced open. "Jupiter!"
One blow from the woman—made so much stronger by Chaos' power—and Jupiter was thrown back. Mercury and Venus pulled her to her feet and they backed toward Usagi, Chibi Chibi and Hotaru as their enemy closed in. There was nowhere else to go.
"They're too strong for just three of us," Mercury said, her visor across her eyes as she assessed their situation. "Their power is extraordinary!"
Venus extended out her hands to the others. "Then we combine our powers!"
They linked hands, calling out to their guardian planets and glowing vividly as their powers surged. A vivid barrier formed between them and the darkness, protecting them momentarily from the onslaught—but it was short lived. The beautiful barricade was being torn down—with every blow, it weakened the scouts that fought to hold it in place, and Usagi knew: it wasn't enough—not without Sailor Mars at the very least. "No…"
They fell to their knees, but never broke their connection—fighting for her as they always had, and she felt herself begin to ignite—begin to change into the being that was her, entirely.
But this time, she didn't need to.
"Flame, sniper!"
A whirlwind of vicious flames tore through the dark forms, forcing them back, shrieking and hunched. Sailor Mars came to a halt before them, her burning bow and arrow at the ready.
Usagi looked up at her weakly. "Mars…"
"Odango," Sailor Star Fighter's voice rang suddenly alongside her, as she crashed to her side and supported her weary body. "I've got you."
You've always got me, she thought, all of you do.
There was a beat—a split second—where Mars looked back to Usagi fiercely. "Sometimes we may not agree on the best path, Sailor Moon," she called over the thundering combat around them, "but I will protect you until the day I die."
She went to her fellow senshi then, taking hold of their hands to complete the circle and crying out the words that they needed in that moment to turn the tables back in their favour.
"Sailor planet power!"
The sky filled with a blinding kaleidoscope of colour, so powerful that Usagi felt hot all over—like she was breaking open and filling up with life. She knew it before the reality registered in her mind—she knew what was unfolding before their eyes, as her friends glowed in stunning colour and their enemy was forced to flee.
Transformation.
Hotaru squinted up at the sky as she leant against Usagi. "The inner senshi—they are ascending to their Eternal forms!"
Their colours danced around them, lacing up their limbs and illuminating them as they hovered in the brilliant light. The power sparkled and spun, leaving behind fuku that was detailed with rounded shoulders and white wings from their backs; brooches atop their bust; and their tiaras were gone—in their place, the symbol of each guardian planet.
"Beautiful senshi," Usagi murmured, as her heart swelled in her chest.
The beam that engulfed each guardian whirled and grew, until their light filled the entire sky and stole the storm away, giving way to silence and a soft sunset. Usagi watched in awe as her friends' feet touched the floor, their faces smiling and peaceful as their bodies hummed with new energy. "What power they hold," Hotaru said, as she smiled back.
"Please…"
On the cracked bitumen nearby, the fair-haired young woman from the nightclub sat upright, her body beaten but her mind finally free of Chaos. She shook as she looked around, frightened and confused. The inner senshi moved to help her. "It's all right—you are safe…"
"They saved her," Usagi breathed. "They saved her!"
She tried to move, to go to them, but Seiya held her back. "Rest, Odango—they've got this."
"Taru," Haruka said urgently, as she slid in front of them to her knees, still in her civilian form. She gripped Hotaru's shoulders, checking her over and swiping the bleeding graze on her cheek. "Hotaru, are you alright? Are you hurt?"
Hotaru smiled gently at Usagi. "Not any more," she said softly.
Haruka eyed her at an arm's length, and then pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, content with her condition. "Thank you," she said to Usagi.
"Don't mention it," Usagi replied with a weak grin. She looked around and frowned. "Where are the others?"
"Coming," Haruka answered. Her gaze darted up to Seiya, as she still knelt behind Usagi supportively while her energy returned. "We had a little insight…that's how we knew something was wrong."
She knows, Usagi thought, she knows Seiya can sense me…
Her inner soldiers approached them, their lovely new fuku gone as they transformed back to their civilian forms before emergency services arrived. "Are you alright?" Ami asked them gently.
"We're fine," Usagi said. She beamed at them. "The four of you—your Eternal forms—"
"Yes," Minako said, quietening her. She inclined her head to the arriving ambulance, making its way to the woman who was wrapped in Makoto's sweater as she rested nearby. "But not now, Usa."
Seiya helped her to her feet, and Usagi glanced across at Rei, who was hanging back slightly. "Thank you," Usagi said to her. "We couldn't have done this without your help."
"'We'?" She replied, rolling her eyes. "Don't you try and take credit—you were just over here doing what you do best." She joked, and then quickly sobered. "I meant what I said, Usagi."
Usagi nodded, understanding entirely.
"Time to go," Haruka said, as a stir of activity began around them to assess the destruction in the city's street. She glanced around at the group. "We will meet soon."
Usagi felt Seiya's hand brush her arm, now in his civilian form. "I'll walk you home," he said softly. He had Chibi Chibi in his arms and was watching Usagi closely. "Come on."
Quietly, subtly as they so often did, the group disseminated and made their way toward their homes—out into the night, with one small victory finally under their belt, and suddenly Usagi knew for certain: we can do this.
"There ya go, Chibi…"
Rini glanced up from her spot at the bottom of the stairwell as Seiya opened the front door to her home, popping Chibi Chibi onto the floor and leading Usagi inside. She scrambled to her feet. "Where have you been?" She demanded, hands on her hips. "Helios told me that Hotaru said you were having a scout meetings—why wasn't I invited? Why wasn't I told—"
"Rini," Usagi said softly, hushing her—she had grown loud in her frustration and their family was just in the next room. "Not here…"
Rini examined Usagi closer, and a sudden rush of dread came over her as she noticed her weary eyes and exhausted gait. "What's wrong—what happened—?"
"Come on, kid," Seiya said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let's talk upstairs…"
They made their way up the stairwell and Usagi stopped in the hall. "Odango…?"
"I think I might take a shower," she said.
Seiya eyed her. "Are you sure you're strong enough? I can—"
"What—help?" Usagi quipped, cocking a brow at him as his cheeks flushed. "I think I can do that myself, thank you..."
Rini growled. "Someone needs to tell me what's going on—"
"Okay, okay—come on," Seiya said, steering her toward the attic and leaving Usagi to freshen up.
"Is she alright? What happened?" Rini demanded as they entered her cosy bedroom. "I can tell something is wrong you know—"
He held up his hands to calm her. "Everything's fine," he said. "There was another attack tonight and Odango had to use some of her strength to help Hotaru—"
"Hotaru—is she okay—?"
"She's fine," Seiya told her. He sat on the edge of her bed. "She tried to use her powers to destroy Chaos but she wasn't strong enough—she got hurt, and Odango was able to save her."
Rini dropped onto the mattress beside him, a mixture of fear and relief flooding her all at once. "She tried to…" She shook her head angrily. "I knew she would try to use that power—I told her not to, she means too much to me—"
"Rini, it's her duty," Seiya said, and when she opened her mouth to argue, he silenced her. "She was just doing what she felt she had to."
"That is never what she has to do! I can't lose her, she's my best friend—"
"Hey," Seiya said, turning to her and speaking calmly. "It's alright…"
She clutched her hand to her chest as it tightened, her heart beating hard and eyes hot with tears. She couldn't help it—she was so afraid of losing the people she loved, after her short lifetime watching her friends and family come and go from her world. She covered her eyes and started to cry. "Seiya, I'm so scared of losing them…"
"Oh, Rini…" He sighed, and she instantly felt his arms embrace her. The zap of energy they so often shared buzzed between them like a gentle hum, and she felt so safe and comforted in that moment. He ran a hand over her hair and tilted his head to look down at her. "You're allowed to be scared, you know that, right?"
She sniffled and nodded. "I know…"
"When you feel afraid of losing someone you love, you have to remind yourself of how grateful you are to still have them in your life," he told her. "There is always going to be something to be afraid of—it's your perspective that changes that fear."
You lost the people you loved, she couldn't help but think, as she rested against his chest, and yet you embrace fear.
I want to be just like you.
"Sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed by her tears. She sat upright and wiped her eyes. "I just…I've never known what it's like to not be alone…"
He was quiet a moment while he watched her. "I can't make any promises, Rini," he said, "but what I do know is the closer we get to letting your future be what it's supposed to be—without tampering with it, or anticipating it—the closer we get to making sure you're never left alone again."
The burn of tears returned and she glanced into her lap. "I hope so…"
"I know so," he said certainly. He let out a long breath and rose to his feet. "You know, this is a pretty neat set up you've got here," he remarked, wandering about the small attic—peering at trinkets and old family photographs. "Like your own little haven…"
"Yeah," she agreed, grateful for the distraction—she was certain it was deliberate. She turned to face him. "It's pretty cool."
His eyes lit up as he spotted Kenji's old, worn acoustic guitar resting up against the wardrobe door. He grinned. "Have you been practicing to impress me, kid?"
She rolled her eyes. "Not in a million years," she replied. "I've never played a guitar in my life." She rethought the comment. "That I know of…"
"Well," Seiya said as he picked up the instrument and blew a cloud of dust from it. "Today is your lucky day."
He sat down once more and cradled the instrument across his lap, his left hand on the neck and his right hand tinkering with the strings over the body. He pulled a face at the clashing notes and began twisting the tiny knobs at the head of the guitar.
She scrunched her nose. "It sounds awful…"
"That's because it's out of tune," he said. He picked at the notes, listening carefully. "It hasn't been played in a long time…"
She watched him closely as he fiddled with it. "Can you just…hear the right notes?"
He smirked. "Well, yeah," he said arrogantly."Incrediblemusicians such as myself can do that…"
"You're so full of yourself…"
He chuckled and said nothing, starting to pluck at the strings to produce a delicate melody—soft and sweet, giving her goosebumps right down to her toes. Out of nowhere, the world around her ceased to exist—out of nowhere, all she could hear was the sound of the notes, and they way they perhaps would feel beneath her fingertips. "Wow," she breathed. "Can I try…?"
He handed her the guitar gladly, and before he could direct her, she knew how to hold it. He opened his mouth to speak, but promptly closed it again, eying her curiously. She felt the timber beneath her hands, the steel strings biting her skin, and her fingers curved around the neck like she had done it a thousand times before.
You know how to do this, too.
Her fingers flicked over the strings as she replicated Seiya's melody, note for note, and heard him suck in a breath. She wasn't afraid—she wasn't shy—and as she met his eye, she beamed. "You must have taught me this, too."
"Yeah," he breathed, cockiness and cheek gone, "must have…"
She hummed in appreciation and closed her eyes, swaying with the hypnotic sound. The melody progressed as though it were already written, and like she had once before, she let a song gently fall from her lips.
Bliss.
Her tone wrapped around every syllable, so controlled, and she relished the feeling—like freedom; like release. She could have been alone in that moment, and her music would have kept her company—it would have grounded her, when few other things could.
It was Seiya's voice joining her own that broke her from her trance.
His harmony wove with Rini's seamlessly, their tones slipping together and rounding the lyrics that simply came to her mind effortlessly. He followed her, like they had done it a thousand times before, creating a song so captivating that it vibrated her down to her core. It sounded nothing short of magical—husky and soft and perfect.
They stared at one another, and Seiya smiled at her widely as she completed the pretty song.
"That was beautiful."
She jumped at the sound of Usagi's voice, and looked across to find her leaning up against the wall at the top of the stairs, misty-eyed. "I didn't know two voices could sound like that, singing together…"
Seiya chuckled, rising to his feet and ruffling Rini's hair playfully. "That's what happens when you sing with someone this great…"
"Seiya…"
He grinned. "You're incredibly gifted, kid," he told her honestly. "This is your calling—right here."
"Oh!" She said, surprised. She blushed. "Thank you…"
"You should get some sleep," Seiya said, as he approached Usagi. "And so should you, Odango—you need to rest…"
"Yeah, yeah…" Usagi grumbled, making her way back down the stairs. "Night, Rini!"
"Goodnight…"
She stared at the guitar still clasped in her arms, and glanced up as Seiya switched the light off. Light from the hall lit his silhouette, and she felt a flutter in her chest at his figure—a tail of a long bundle of hair, just as she had seen once before.
"Goodnight, Chibi Odango."
Usagi crept quietly back down the dark hallway toward her bedroom, the sounds of the television echoing up the stairwell but unable to interrupt the entrancing memory of Rini and Seiya's voices, blending to one beautiful harmony. The moment she heard their soft melody, her breath had been stolen from her lungs, and each note tugged at her heart. It felt like something inside her burst open; something she simply couldn't name.
She opened her bedroom door and Seiya hesitated behind her. "As fun as it is to be sneaking around your house late at night," he started with a cheeky grin, "I do respect your mama's wishes—I should go…" He met her eye. "Plus I'm in my male form…"
"So?" She said, looping her long golden hair over her shoulder as she crossed the room and folded herself up onto her bed. "What difference does it make?"
He clicked her bedroom door closed behind him. "Alright," he said hesitantly, and then rounded the bed to sit across from her. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel…strong," she said honestly. As she had given Hotaru energy, her own had diminished, but something else had filled within her, and as the hours had gone by since, she had begun to feel utterly electric. "It's strange…"
Seiya looked at her carefully. "Maybe," he said, and then paused before adding: "Odango, I'm sorry—"
"Don't," she said, shaking her head. "They had to know eventually." She hesitated. "And I do appreciate you standing up for me."
"That wasn't my intention," he said. "You don't need anyone to stand up for you—I know you can do that, all on your own."
She was learning that she could, too.
He smirked. "I seem to be spending a lot of time here lately," he commented. "And as much as I like it, I really should go…"
"Five minutes," she pleaded. "Just five minutes…"
Seiya sighed. "Okay," he said quietly. "Five minutes."
She smiled gratefully at him—his company was calming, grounding, in ways that no one else's was, and she needed that. "You know, tonight was the first time in a long time I've felt like we could do this—like we really could beat Chaos, and that everything would be okay," she said after a moment. "And now I don't want to think about it…I want to think about anything other than the future and our duties as senshi."
"Alright," he replied. He was quiet with his thoughts, until he suddenly asked: "Tell me then—what do you want to do in your future, Odango?"
A smile cracked over her face. "Seiya…that's hardly avoiding the topic…"
"I want to know." He leant back on his elbows, long ways across the bed. "You said you wanted to get to know me—and I want to get to know you."
She chuckled at him. "You know me better than almost anyone…"
"Not enough," he said. "Never enough. You're a mystery, Odango."
Her cheeks flushed and she laid back long alongside him, contemplating his question. "I want to see the world," she whispered finally, as though it were a secret. "I want to see all the beautiful countries this planet has to offer." She closed her eye, feeling ridiculous. "I want to see the whole universe…" She sighed airily. "Is that silly?"
"No," he said, and she could feel his eyes on her. "It's perfect."
She turned her head against the ruffled covers of her bed to look up at him. "What do you want, Seiya?"
"Oh, you know," he hummed, looking away from her, "fame, fortune—all that kind of thing…"
"That's a lie," she accused. "What do you really want?"
He locked eyes with her—the darkest sapphire she had ever seen. "You know, Usagi," he said, voice low. He smirked. "Unless you still don't get it…"
Oh.
She would have been lying, too, if she'd said she hadn't known his answer—and for the first time since his arrival back on Earth, she wasn't denying any of it any more. Her emotions were complex, indeed—laced with powerful adoration and longing that she didn't fully understand—but she couldn't deny it. She wouldn't.
"I did get it," she murmured, the words twisted around her tongue. "You know I did…"
A cheeky smile crossed his features—it wasn't a secret for him; it was nothing to be ashamed of. "I know," he said. "But I still wanted to hear you say it…"
"Seiya!" She laughed, and then bit her lip. "That said, there definitely were times where I wondered if it really was that…"
"Oh, come on—"
"What?" She said innocently. "You never know—I am a pretty girl, after all…"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you think it was then, hm?"
The game she was playing felt dangerous , suddenly. "Well, I thought that maybe it was just that you wanted to—um…"
Something shifted in his expression—something daring. "Wanted to what, Odango?"
She flushed, from her cheeks down to her neck and chest. "You know—teenage hormones and all that," she muttered. He cocked a brow at her and she relented, averting her gaze. "That you wanted to…act on your urges…"
She heard the huff of his husky laugh and felt him grow nearer to her. "And so what if I did?"
She couldn't help it—she snapped her gaze up to his, wide-eyed. He was so close, and she was quickly reminded how alluring the Starlight could be, when it suited him. "Um…"
"Hasn't anyone ever made you feel that way?" He asked, as his long lashes swept across her from top to toe, making her feel unlike anything she'd ever felt before. "Like they want to touch you, please you?"
Her heart thundered. No onehad made her feel like that, until him—with the unabashed sensuality and flirtatious nature.
It wasn't her that was playing this dangerous game—not any more.
"Hasn't anyone ever made you feel desired, Odango?"
The air felt thick between them, and in an instant every turbulent, lust-fuelled dream, every thought she had ever had of him—of her—was at the forefront of her mind. She felt exposed, in a territory so intimate and unknown to her, under the cobalt gaze of a being that made her feel the most vulnerable she had ever felt in her life.
"You deserve that," he said, his voice like velvet and grit. "You're a beautiful creature, Usagi."
Her breath was caught, just like she was, and she faltered as she remembered the one time that she had put herself out in the open for Mamoru—the time she had foolishly told him she was ready, and been as good as rejected.
Seiya saw it—she knew he did—and his teasing quickly changed to a look of seriousness. "You should neverlet anyone make you feel ashamed of it," he said. "Life is nothing without the lust and risk of love."
Love flourished only when every chaotic part of life was accepted—without struggle, without shame, and without judgement.
His words floored her, as she recalled the times of late she had shunned her own maddened, primal energy—pushed that evolving part of herself aside for fear of who—or what—she was. For fear of giving in to herself entirely.
No more.
"I have to go," he said softly after a moment, as though it pained him. He moved away from her, breaking the inches between them. "I shouldn't have…"
He trailed off, raking a hand through his hair and moving from the bed toward the balcony slider, opening it to the night air.
"Seiya, wait—"
She sat forward to stop him, but stilled as she saw the look on his face—the ache of longing, which beat in her, too. Static hummed in the space between them—she could feel it: drawing them together and forcing them apart. "I haven't stopped waiting, Odango," he told her. "And I'm not about to stop now."
And with that, he was gone.
In the depths of the city's streets, amongst the smoke and filth and suffering, he held tight to the soothing poison in his veins and the glass bottle between his knees. He held tight to the cold brickwork supporting his head, and the tremor that rocked him uncontrollably as he came down from the high of Chaos' power. He held tight to who he was once before, and why he had given himself over without fight. Held tight to her—to the warrior and the friend he loved. Held tight to the hope that they would save her.
Just like Chaos had promised him—they would save her.