SpongeBob giddily galloped over to the Krusty Krab, his journal in his hand. He could not wait to show his "friend" Squidward his story he wrote all about him. It had Squidward's hopes and dreams written all up in it, and he was full of excitement in showing Squidward his little tale. Bursting in without hesitation, he said yelled out to Squidward in a singsong voice. "Oh Squiiiiiiiiiiidwaaaaaaaaaard!" He sang gleefully.

Squidward was having a rather decent morning until SpongeBob showed up. Like always, SpongeBob unknowingly managed to turn a halfway okay day for Squidward upside down. He was hoping he'd be late so he would get a better paycheck. Sighing, he replied, "What is it NOW SpongeBob?" He looked as long-faced as ever.

"I wrote a story about you! Can you guess what it's about?"

Even though this got Squidward somewhat invested, he still knew the story was going to be bollocks given it was by SpongeBob, so he still didn't take it too seriously. "Lemme guess, my eventual descend into madness?" He remarked sarcastically.

A sense of concern washed over the friendly little sponge. He had no idea WHAT his coworker meant by this and, quite frankly, he didn't really WANT to know. "No, it isn't. It's actually a short story about you becoming a prince!"

Squidward's interest rate went up by 1000 percent. He couldn't believe his own invisible ears. The fact that someone he hated so deeply, someone who he thought was so maddening, the person he blamed for ruining his life, that same creature decided to write a story about him in a position that had him living the life of luxury. Squidward was so happy he could cry, but he didn't. Instead he started acting all high and mighty.

"Well, I think of myself as a prince already, so this is rather flattering." He said with a princely smile as he twirled his tentacle around in a rather fancy manner. "Shall I see what awaits in this short tale of yours?"

"Go ahead!"

"Thank you." Squidward grabbed the stapled stack of imagination from his sponged coworker. Maybe there is one good thing about SpongeBob.

…

The Tale of the Sad Villager by SpongeBob SquarePants.

It wasn't easy being a sad villager man. Especially for one like Squidward Tentacles. He had been poor for as long as he could remember, ever since his infancy in fact. He grew up in an extremely poor family, a family who had to grow their own fruits and veggies and occasionally a plain old potato. His mom also had to make their clothes, she really was the only one who was even that talented at the knitting wheel. Squidward was a shy kid, shy as the sun hiding behind the clouds. Thus, he had a difficult time making friends. That is, until one faithful day.

Squidward was 21 years of age, his parents in their mid-50s. They were just simply living their ordinary lives when a sound was heard at the door. Squidward's father went to get it and saw nobody standing there, but saw the newspaper standing in front of his feet, with the sound presumably coming from the newspaper landing right in front of the door.

"Oh, the newspaper's here." Squidward's dad said. He went down to his seat at the kitchen table to read the story and he found something that caught his attention. It was an ad for a sword fight competition held by the Royal family on May 17th, in that any man who partakes in it shall marry the Royal princess, and thus live a life of luxury.

Squidward almost fainted with joyous intent at the sight of hearing that. He wasn't sure about if he'd like the princess (he didn't care that much about the Royal family, though he would never publicly reveal that), but having so much money that he and family would no longer live in poverty and hunger, and finally have a nice and social lifestyle finally? It felt like heaven to be in such a position.

"I'll partake in that sword fighting competition!" Squidward said getting up out of his chair. "I'll train hard! So hard that I'll win this fight and we'll live a rich life, no more hunger and wretched clothes! Pure happiness, I say!"

As much as they wanted money, Squidward's parents still felt uneasy at the idea of their son partaking in an event involving sharp weapons. "Are you sure Squiddy?" His mother asked. "I don't want you getting hurt with these sharp and dangerous weapons…"

"Trust me mother, I can handle anything these swordsmen dish out. Not to mention, I don't really tend to get hurt. I may be poor, but I ain't weak."

"But-" His father began.

"Trust me mother and father, I can do it! I will go out there and WIN!" Squidward trotted over to go to the local store and use his leftover money to buy a wooden sword. He was feeling very confident in what he could accomplish.

"Oh that man, always trying to do everything for us." His mother sighed.

"I'll try not to worry, he seems confident in that he'll be successful." His father replied. "Even so, I think it's best we help him. If we don't, something will go wrong. Horribly wrong indeed…" He said feeling his own beard which was starting to grow back.

They did as they promised themselves. The helped the young octopus do vigorous training with the art of the sword. What were once simple sword techniques turned into something stronger, along with Squiddy being taught some complex techniques no man his age ever thought of trying.

When the big day came, Squidward was all ready. An actual sword, a knight's armor (both given to him by the people running the competition), a confident smile, he knew he wasn't going to let himself give up. He tried his earnest and hardest, fighting the best he could. He didn't always win, sometimes his sword got flipped in battle and other times he got shot out of the battle flying high into the sky. But he never gave up, his confidence helped him keep trying. His battles in the final rounds ended being even better than the first. By the final round, he swung his sword so hard that it (quite literally) flew his competent out of the range. He was the winner then and then only. He was about to marry the princess and live the life of luxury as he and his family always wanted.

The only catch they didn't realize? The princess was allowed to choose if she wanted to marry the winning individual or not. So when Squidward and his family went up to greet the princess, they were NOT prepared for what she said to Squidward.

"UGH! I can't believe this man is the winner! He looks worn-up and gross! Is he poor? He looks gross! I am NOT marrying him!"

Everyone in the crowd gasped. They never expected the princess to be this rude and unhinged. The case could not be said for her family, as this was unfortunately how she always acted at home: rude, obnoxious, and incredibly stuck-up. So they weren't really surprised when they saw how this was how she reacted to the winner.

After this unexpected outburst, her twin brother Squilliam Fancyson IV, came down to tell Squidward his own personal thoughts about him. "Well, it would appear that the poor loses again, Simpleton Tortellini!" He rudely remarked. "I mean what can you afford? A dusty falling apart house? Dirty vegetables? Those clothes that looked like they made by the food market? Oh wait they don't even make clothes!" He said before proceeding to snobbishly laugh and snort at his own rudeness.

"Squilliam Fancyson IV, that is ENOUGH!" His father Squilliam Fancyson III boomed. The scolding was heard throughout the entire kingdom. "You will sit down and not behave like a little brat, young man!" As soon as he said that, his son sat down.

Squidward looked about as depressed as ever. The twins weren't even wrong. He and his parents looked muddy, unfavorable, completely ridiculous. He turned around to face his parents and started to slowly walk back towards them, his body extremely hunched forward. Just before he could make it to the first step however, he felt a hand touch his shoulder gently. He turned around to see the king smiling softly upon him. He reached his closed right palm out, then used his left hand to insert a cash of 100 bucks into Squidward's right tentacle. "Here. Keep the change, it's my pleasure." The king spoke quietly.

Squidward looked at the cleanly green paper bills in his tentacles. It was the first time someone of high honor and authority had ever done something nice to him. Anyone else would have just brushed him and his family off as "weirdos" or people faking to be poor for attention. King Fancyson III on the other hand? He knew this man was not faking anything. Squidward could not have felt more overjoyed in his life. He thanked the king and gave the biggest hug he could ever give anyone, before the king asked the guards to politely pull him away.

Soon after, Squidward and his parents tried to use the money as responsibly as possible. It wasn't much, but they were able to get some well-cooked food for a while and managed to get themselves better beds for a while. All this further proved that while money is really important, if you do not have that, the next best thing are the ones closest to you. Sometimes, family and friends are all you will ever need.

The end

"Well, whaddya think?" SpongeBob asked with a smile as big as a rainbow.

Squidward looked up from the story to the author himself. Even though he knew SpongeBob meant well, and had a overall good ending and message to his story, he was still disappointed that he didn't get the ending HE wanted, which was to marry the princess and become real rich. It was cliche, but it was something he'd be dreaming ever since he was a kid. SpongeBob had the opportunity to put that dream through a fairy tale-type format and he completely ruined that for Squidward. Squidward just couldn't accept stories about him with more possible endings apparently.

"If only it actually went my way…" He responded.