A/N: Surprise, another chapter already - pure Naley! Let me know what you think, I appreciate your reviews! The flashback this chapter piggybacks off last chapter with Nathan's game at Duke. More to come on that, as we learn just how Nathan and Haley never crossed paths for ten years. While in previous chapters, the flashbacks were a way of showing their happiness, now we'll start to see their individual grief of the relationship.

Enjoy!

...

Chapter 33: A Tree Hill Raven always knows when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, when to walk away, and when to run.

Nathan wasn't a good sleeper, but he'd never tell her that. They'd spent half the night talking. Stealing kisses between memories, between apologies, between the what-was and the what-if's. When they finally went to bed, the sun was coming up, and yet here he was awake and admiring the rise and fall of Haley perched on his chest, wearing nothing but his shirt. Her leg wrapped over his knee, pulling his calf just slightly toward her. She was nestled against him, in a way Nathan had never fit someone else.

He'd remembered how intoxicating Haley could be – the way she touches his face, the feathered kisses through his shirt, the way her eyes dance when he speaks to her; so reactionary and undivided. But a memory does no justice to the moment. Last night Nathan felt his heart race and his gut knot; his body moving involuntarily– a lean, a reach, a twitch – anything to be closer to Haley. And as much as that'd been simultaneously a high he'd been chasing and avoiding for years, it hits different with age.

Haley is a woman with curves and strength, lines and scars, from years of smiling through the unexpected and carrying a weight that should never have been hers in the first place. Every glimpse of something new – the perma-shrug of her shoulder, the noticeable curve of her ass, the freckle behind her knee – pushes Nathan further and further over the edge of reason. She was beautiful before, but this Haley baring her soul to him for the first time in her life, is enchanting. He needed to know every part of her.

It scares Nathan how easily he let his guard down – he's been hurt most of his life by his parents, by mooching friends, by the media, and those walls never waiver. It makes him wonder if he ever really had a wall up with Haley. Was he ever even mad? Maybe he was just so damn sad he had to box it away and never speak of it again. And as soon as the thought crosses his mind, the truth hits him like a ton of bricks. When he lost Haley, he lost himself, and he never came back. Walls went up, but against the world. If he couldn't trust her, he didn't want to trust anyone else, or set himself up for disappointment… again.

This morning though, he felt lighter. And as Haley begins to stir in his arms, Nathan squeezes her a little tighter.

"Nathan?" Haley asks, groggily.

"Hm," he answers, doing his best to seem equally asleep.

"Are you awake?" She asks.

"No," he laughs. She surprises him, biting lightly on his chest. "And I wouldn't do that."

"Oh," Haley says with a blush.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman," Nathan jokes.

Unable to stop herself, she glances down to find Nathan's bulging boxers, very, very awake. "Oh my god, why do you have the most woodiest morning wood I've ever seen. Where was he last night?"

"It's called whiskey dick! Even I get it," Nathan sighs. "And I've been up for a while with you in my arms. That's um, very pleasant."

Haley's eyes crinkle with adoration. "Is it weird if I think that's adorable?"

"Wasn't really going for adorable," Nathan says, swallowing hard.

"You never are," Haley laughs, snuggling into him. "But you are the most adorable person to me."

Nathan squeezes her, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Haley's eyes flutter closed, her favorite of all Nathan's kisses.

"Are you really here?" Haley asks, leaning her head up to look at him.

"I hope so," Nathan says with a smirk. Haley playfully smacks his abs.

"I just mean, this isn't me wishful thinking, right? You're here for more than a night," Haley says wearily. "Which, I guess, we're all only here for one more night. But you know what I mean. I guess I'm asking –"

"Am I in?" Nathan says.

"Yeah," Haley sighs. "Because I really want you to be. Really, really."

…

Nine Years Ago

Nathan sits in the hospital bed, his knee elevated between exams. After he fell, they were concerned about how much he was swelling and decided to bring him to Stanford's medical center. Owen, a big lovable lug and one of his trainers, sits in a nearby chair waiting for the results. He's developed a big-brother relationship with Nathan and often times became his pseudo-babysitter, keeping his head on straight.

Nathan's knee throbs but he tries to ignore it. An injury like this could end his career, and he just couldn't go there. Not right now. Not when his mind was already wandering to somewhere it shouldn't.

"Your dad is texting me like crazy," Owen grumbles, bringing Nathan out of his thoughts.

"Better you than me," Nathan sighs. "What's he saying?"

"Simultaneously asking about you but threatening me if anything is wrong," he notes.

"Sounds like Dan," Nathan agrees. "You know his college career ended because of a knee injury. He'd lose his shit if that happened to me."

"I'd lose my shit if that happened to you," Owen points out.

"Yeah," Nathan says, his thoughts elsewhere. "Hey when they were taking me out on the gurney, did you see a girl? With security."

Owen tries to think, but can't remember. "Don't think so. Wasn't really looking though. I mean, it's not like there's never women waiting near the exits after a game."

"Nah man, this was, I don't know, it almost looked like someone I knew," Nathan states.

"At Stanford?"

"Maybe," Nathan states.

"She the reason you've been so tweaked all game?" He points out.

"I wasn't tweaked man," Nathan deflects.

"I doubt Coach K was complaining, you were on fire. But you were also coming for blood," Owen pushes.

"I don't have beef with Stanford," Nathan defends. "But I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a lot more going on in my head."

Owen studies Nathan, he looked physically exhausted and obviously worried. But the worry wasn't coming from his injury and that said a lot.

"You know you're a pretty even-keeled guy Scott. Focused for sure, take no shit, but I don't know, tonight was different. Like you had something to prove," Owen admits.

Nathan looks up at the ceiling, Owen's assessment was a little too on the nose.

"But it's none of my business," Owen continues.

"I agree," Nathan huffs, trying to shift slightly but winces in pain.

"Try not to move Nate," he reminds.

"I'm sick of sitting here," Nathan sighs in frustration. "I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go."

"They have to clear you man. Just, chill," Owen tries.

"I'm fine. I just, I have to go," Nathan states, a new sense of desperation in his voice. "I'm hot. And this feels really suffocating. Where is the doctor? What's taking them so long?"

"Where is this coming from?" Owen asks.

"It's not coming from anywhere, Owen. It's called I don't want to be in this bullshit hospital anymore waiting for some bullshit doctor to tell me I need to ice my knee and lay-off it for a few days," Nathan panics.

Owen watches Nathan's monitors as his heart rate continues to climb. He gets up and comes to a stand next to Nathan, putting his hands on the arm-rails of the bed.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" Owen reminds. Nathan turns to him, his eyes wild.

"Owen I have to go. Get me on a plane. Get me out of Stanford. Out of California," Nathan begs.

As he says it, a nurse enters to check on him. "Mr. Scott, you feeling OK? I got an alarm that you vitals – oh my god, Nathan."

"I think he's having a panic attack," Owen suggests, seeing the shock in the nurse's face as Nathan gulps down air.

"Nathan, can you look at me?" The nurse asks. He turns to her, his panic overwhelming. "Do you have pain in your chest?"

He nods his head, 'yes'.

"Can you breathe?" She asks.

He nods his head, 'yes'.

"Good," she responds. "Now focus on me. Focus on my voice, OK?"

Nathan closes his eyes, nodding.

"You are in a hospital. You are safe. Nod your head that you can hear me and that you know you are safe," the nurse soothes, grabbing one of his hands, and squeezing.

Nathan nods.

"Count backwards with me," she continues. "10… 9…"

Nathan starts, counting along. "8… 7… 6…"

His breathing, while erratic, starts to even out. No more gulping. "5… 4… 3…"

"Now when we get to 1, I want you to take a nice deep breath. A breath so big you think your heart might burst. And hold it, OK?" The nurse requests.

Nathan nods. "2… 1…"

And on one, he breathes in, deep and full, the air pushing his chest, his belly, the brokenness of his heart to their fullest capacity. He can feel the tension in his chest, but it's a welcoming, a satisfying stretch.

"Now exhale," the nurse says, and Nathan listens, breathing out just as deeply. "One more deep breath for me Nathan."

Nathan breathes in again, and the nurse and Owen eye each other, happy to see his heart rate balancing out.

"And exhale," the nurse says, watching as Nathan lets out another breath. She removes her hand from his causing him to open his eyes.

"How do you feel?" She asks.

"Better," Nathan says.

"Good," she smiles. "I'm going to let the doctor know though. We'll want to run an EKG just to make sure there wasn't any other underlying issue."

"Sure," Nathan says, exhausted.

"Have you ever had a panic attack before?" She asks.

"A few," Nathan admits. "Not um, publically. Usually it's the shower, or my bed. I just let it ride."

The nurse listens sympathetically. "Have you ever talked to anyone about it?"

"I don't need to," Nathan sighs. "I know why I have them."

"It's a little more complicated than that. The doctor will give you some more information. We can help you manage them," she encourages.

Nathan haphazardly nods with no intention of following through. He welcomed the pain. It reminded him that it was real, and it reminded him that he never wanted to go through it again. He needed that.

"Thank you," Owen says as the nurse nods, leaving them. When she's gone, Owen continues. "You know you're two-for-two on scaring me today."

"Did my dad have you sign an NDA?" Nathan asks, out of the blue.

Owen's surprised, but nods. "He did."

"I was married," Nathan blurts out. "For three months."

"Oh shit," Owen says.

"It's still pretty fresh considering we got married March of this year, and it was dissolved by June," he continues. "I don't know what happened. I just know she wanted out and I'd do anything for her. So I let her go."

"Nate," Owen comforts. "I had no idea. I'm sorry man."

"No one knows," Nathan grumbles. "My dad never understood it and always saw it as a scandal that reflected his parenting. We never went public – our friends and classmates knew but that was it. I actually never even had a say in dissolving the marriage. My birthday's in August. She was eighteen, I was still seventeen. I needed parental consent but used my fake ID to do it without them. My dad just came to me one day, over July 4th weekend actually, and said it's done."

"That's pretty fucked Nathan," Owen says, shocked.

"He actually said, 'Happy Independence,'" Nathan sighs. "Like he did me a favor."

"Wow," Owen says. "That's a lot."

"Yup," Nathan says, staring at the ceiling.

"Your dad, he's not great is he?" Owen asks.

"Nope. At least not to me," Nathan agrees. "But as a Senator? They love him."

"I'm sure he's had to sacrifice," Owen says, attempting to find the silver lining.

"Or maybe he's just an ass," Nathan confirms.

Owen doesn't have a response. Sometimes the truth just hurts.

"So you were married," Owen states. "In high school."

"Probably sounds dumb considering I no longer am," Nathan sighs.

"I don't think it's dumb at all," Owen observes. "You know what you want."

"Just turned out to be something I can't have," Nathan sighs, pain in his voice, on his face. This guts Owen, to see someone so strong, so low.

"Let me see if I can find the doctor. Speed up the process," Owen says, knocking on the bed before walking away. He stops in the doorway to Nathan's room. "Tell me Nate, how does Stanford play into it all?"

"It was her dream to go here," Nathan says, wincing. "She gave it up to come to Duke with me. But she never ended up at Duke. I've tried to find her, but can't. My gut tells me she's here."

"Sorry man," Owen says. "Hang tight, I'll be right back."

…

"You scare me, Haley James," Nathan responds. "Like I'm talking scare-the-shit-out-of-me scary."

"Oh, um… OK," Haley accepts.

"Want to know why?" Nathan asks.

Haley nods.

"I got really used to being on my own, not needing anyone. My parents are unreliable, Luke is Luke – on my side, but also his own, especially when it comes to Dan, and besides our friends, most people in my life have something they want from me. I'm not about that," Nathan begins. "I mean, even Rachel, she wanted my status but was upfront about it. That's what made it work. I knew what she wanted and she knew what I wanted."

Nathan feels Haley wince in his arms.

"I'm just trying to be honest," Nathan reaffirms.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just, you and Rachel," Haley groans.

"I knew I couldn't love her," Nathan continues, and the clarity brought the smallest smile to Haley's face. "Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is I'm an island. I live my life for me, and that's it."

"Nathan we all live our lives for ourselves," Haley whispers. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"You were my entire world, Hales. Ten years ago, I would have walked away from basketball. I would have followed you anywhere. I've never wanted to make someone else happy so bad in my life," Nathan says, exasperated. "And I feel the same damn way now."

"Nathan…" Haley says, her voice catching.

"That scares me, because I can't love you halfway. If I'm in, I'm all in. But if you walk away again – I won't come back from that. I barely did the first time" Nathan admits.

Haley moves to straddle Nathan, needing him to see her whole face. Needing him to feel how much she wants him too. His shirt sits high on her thighs, but all Nathan can do is watch Haley's lips, waiting to hear what comes next.

"Give me your hand," Haley says, grabbing Nathan's palm and bringing it to her chest. "Do you feel that?"

"Steady heartbeat," Nathan confirms.

"You're my calm Nathan. You make my heart race in so many ways, but sitting and talking with you, skin to skin, is my safest place. When I walked away, I thought I had no other choice. I'd grown up with limited options. But now I realize, I have every option as long as we're together," Haley says, still holding his hand to her chest. "I should have known that then."

Nathan brings his other hand up to cup the side of her thigh, giving it a squeeze.

"Ask me again," he commands, his face serious.

"Are you in?" Haley says, her hand clutching his a little harder.

"Always," Nathan says, beaming.

"Always and what?" Haley asks, her smile equally as wide.

"Always and forever, baby," Nathan replies, pulling Haley down to him by their clasped hands. His lips find hers in the sweetest crash, teeth clinking as they let out a little laugh, their lips never fully parting. Haley's lips are soft, and sweet, and persistent; latching from top lip to bottom, like she couldn't choose which to devour first. Nathan decides for her, probing his tongue against hers in a sensual dance – fast and slow, lingering and purposeful. She pulls away, just slightly, licking her bottom lip.

"I love you," Haley says, breathless. "And I missed you."

"Show me," Nathan responds, his erection raging beneath her.

Haley brings her hands to the edge of his t-shirt, pulling it up her thighs and bunching it at her belly. She rocks slightly, Nathan's boxers the only barrier between them.

"Hales…" Nathan chokes out.

"Mhm," she says, rocking a little more.

"If you keep doing that, I won't be able to stop myself," Nathan admits.

"Good," she points out, rocking hard against his boxers, a blush creeping up her chest and neck.

"Haley, don't you want to– "

"I do, baby," Haley gasps. "I will. I – no sex yet, OK? Not till our heads catch up to our hearts."

"You're killing me," Nathan says, desperate.

Haley leans down, silencing Nathan with a long, distracting kiss. She pulls back slightly, whispering, "There's a lot of other things we can do besides sex."

"Mhm," Nathan says, bringing his hands to Haley's ass, holding her in place against him.

"You're close," Haley points out.

"Very," Nathan croaks.

"Me too," Haley says, kissing him again—his lips, his chin, his neck, his chest.

"Hales, I'm… holy…" Nathan rasps, his body pulsing beneath her.

"That's it Nate," Haley coos. "Let go."

And let go he does, bucking up against Haley, a familiar warmth appearing between them. He squeezes her cheeks as he releases, running his palm from the curve of her back, to the apex of her thighs. He rubs gently at what he finds – a surprised squeal escaping Haley.

"More," Haley breathes. Nathan smiles, dragging a thumb up and down her most sensitive spot. "You… you…"

Nathan picks up the pace, up down, up down, until finally, he stops at the bundle of nerves, massaging her gently. Haley lights up like a Christmas tree, her body shaking, her cheeks rosy, and her nails digging into his shoulders. She buries her face in his neck, trying to find some balance in what feels so delightfully out of control. She bites lightly on his erratic pulse until finally, she flops on top of him, completely spent.

"You're a wonderful man, Nathan Scott," Haley finally gets out, completely at ease.

"And you're a total wildcard, Haley James," Nathan says with a laugh. "My girl's kind of dirty."

"She is not," Haley says with a smirk.

"I like it," Nathan says.

Haley smiles at this, placing a kiss on his chest, then his cheek, before snuggling back into his neck. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Nathan encourages.

"I'm trying really hard to not go immediately to this insecure place. But I know, obviously, your lifestyle comes with a lot of opportunity, um, sexually," Haley begins. "And I guess, I don't know that seemed really great to me, but I also want to meet you with what you need. If maybe, I'm too vanilla, or, whatever."

"Haley, you just made me orgasm simply from rocking against me. I ruined my boxers for god's sake, I haven't done that since I was like thirteen," Nathan reassures. "You are the most exciting to me in every way."

"Really?" Haley says with a grateful sigh.

"Yes," Nathan says, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I love you," Haley says.

"I love you too," Nathan echoes, and they stay just like that, soaking in the reality that they are together once again.

...

Brooke, Peyton, Lucas, and Jake sit at their table in the dining hall enjoying brunch. They sip on Bloody Mary's in an attempt to counter their hangovers and with each minute the remaining two seats stay empty, they contemplate the outcome of last night.

"They have to be together right?" Peyton says.

"Or they both left, we all know Nathan likes an Irish goodbye," Lucas counters.

"No way," Jake denies. "They were basically eye-fucking each other all night."

"Well maybe that's what they're doing then. A little morning rendezvous," Brooke hopes. "Though Haley's never late."

"She's ten years late," Peyton gripes, mostly joking. "Should we be worried at all?"

"About what?" Jake says, shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth.

"I mean say things went well, really well. How is it sustainable? I actually don't even know where Haley lives but is sure as hell ain't Charlotte," Peyton points out. "Not that I want to doom them either, but I don't know, we're in this idyllic bubble."

"That'll end tomorrow?" Brooke says, hesitantly.

"Yeah," Peyton says.

"Doesn't matter," Lucas defends. "I know my brother. If he's giving her the time of day, he's going to try again. He's very rigid in who he gives his time to. You either get it, or you don't."

"You're right," Brooke agrees. "They're back together. I can feel it."

"Why don't you ask them yourselves," Jake says, nodding behind her to the entrance. On cue, Nathan and Haley walk to them, looking refreshed and mischievous, his hand resting on the small of her back. They take a seat at the table, acknowledging nothing.

"Good morning," Haley says. "How's brunch?"

"How's brunch?" Peyton repeats.

"Yes," Haley says innocently.

"Brunch is great. Bacon, eggs, Bloody's – did you guys just have sex?" Peyton blurts out.

"Peyton!" Brooke cackles watching as Haley's face goes from porcelain to beet red in a millisecond.

"I don't know, did we Hales?" Nathan chimes in.

"We had sex adjacent," Haley admits with a smirk, shocking the hell out of her friends and Nathan, who doubles over in laughter. Peyton and Brooke squeal, causing a scene. When they settle back down, Haley continues eyeing her friends – "Happy?"

"Oh my god!" Peyton says gleefully. "You're a little spitfire today."

"You asked," Haley points out. "I'm done being coy."

"Can confirm, not coy," Nathan echoes.

"Your energy right now is wild," Brooke observes looking between the two.

"I think it's called being happy," Nathan jokes.

"Like really, really happy," Haley agrees.

"Well I'm going to vomit," Jake says.

"I agree, way too cute," Peyton jokes.

"No, literally for me. Be right back," Jake says, running towards the rest rooms. They laugh, before turning their attention back to Nathan and Haley.

"So are we Mr. and Mrs. Scott again?" Lucas asks.

"We're Nathan and Haley. And that's enough for now," Nathan confirms. He throws his arm around the back of Haley's chair, scooting her towards him.

"Well it's about damn time. I'm happy for you brother," Lucas states, before cutting his eyes to Haley. "Both of you."

"Thank you Luke," Haley says. "Now who's going to help me get breakfast? It's a two-plate kind of morning."

"Hungry?" Nathan asks playfully.

"Very," Haley says, leaning over to kiss him.

"God, I forgot how gross you two are when you're horny," Brooke whines.

"Brooke!" Haley gasps.

"Get a room then!" Brooke returns.

"Technically we just left it," Nathan points out.

"Oh my god," Haley laughs, standing up. "I'm getting breakfast."

"This is nice, isn't it?" Nathan says, lingering for a moment before going to join Haley.

"The best," Brooke says. "All joking aside, and despite my reservations, I've always wanted this for you."

"I know," he says.

"Good," Brooke says, with the slightest tilt of her head. "Now go get some food with your girl. She's a real grump if she's not carbo-loaded."

Nathan laughs before walking away. Brooke watches him, and Lucas watches Brooke.

"Stop worrying," Lucas observes. "Can't we just enjoy the news?"

"I really need her to stay," Brooke admits.

"Honey she will," Peyton comforts. "I know I'm worried about the logistics, but they'll make it work. I have no doubt."

"I'm glad. Because I'll believe it when I see it," Brooke sighs.

And although no one says it out loud, Brooke knew in the silence, that her friends agree.