Chapter Four

May 2 2009

Hogwarts Memorial Gala

"Accidents will happen, but this time I can't get up

She comes to check on me, making sure I'm on my knees

After all, she's the one who put me in this state."

"Pulling Teeth" by Green Day

"We're going to the Hogwarts Memorial Gala tonight," Astoria announced at breakfast.

Draco looked up at her in shock.

"I donated a lot of money to whatever Hogwarts was repairing this year. I hope you don't mind," Astoria stated mildly. Draco could not imagine that she cared the slightest what he thought. She was probably practising for being in public with him this evening. They hadn't gone to a public venue together since Blaise and Daphne's wedding.

If Astoria was going to play pretend, then Draco could too. "Of course not Stori, helping Hogwarts or any other philanthropic project that catches your eye is completely in your role as Lady Malfoy." Before he could even smile, she was across the room squeezing his face between her nails. It hurt and he sucked in a breath. He felt like he was a child again and his father was grabbing his face. The disdain that Astoria held for him was evident in her eyes.

It was so similar to the disdain in which his father had always held him. Why did his wife have to be so much like Lucius? Well Lucius had chosen her after all, so he shouldn't have been surprised.

"I don't need your input on my role here, Lord Malfoy." She laughed at him as though he was the lowest worm. He felt that way, sitting in his chair like an errant child, while she loomed over him. "Just make sure you are dressed appropriately, I don't need you embarrassing me. We will floo in together at seven."

It took Draco a long time to pull himself together. Nausea roiled inside him. She'd never touched him in anger before. He needed to be more careful how he spoke to her. He should definitely speak less often.

He needed to do whatever it took for her to not hurt him like that again. He must have crossed some line. He needed to do better.

Eventually Draco stood and went upstairs to dress, hoping that Astoria hadn't left marks on his face since they would be difficult to explain since he couldn't glamour them away.

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Hermione did not particularly want to be at the Hogwarts Memorial Gala. She was wearing a golden gown that sparkled under the lights and she'd already had to deal with Skeeter and Parvati, who worked at Witch Weekly these days, making comments about the Golden Girl in her golden gown. Hermione could just envision tomorrow's headlines. She was just done with the whole performance. Finding Theo hiding near the punch bowls, she scolded him for leaving her to the harpies alone.

"I wasn't sure that you were ready to announce our relationship to the whole world, love," Theo smiled and handed her a glass of champagne in an attempt to console her.

"Everyone who matters knows." Hermione shrugged, "I gave up caring what the greater Wizarding public thinks about me a long time ago. And I love you. I don't care who knows it."

Theo's smile grew so large that his dimples were on display and Hermione smiled back at him, before she drained her glass.

He took Hermione's glass and set both on a nearby table, "Let's dance before someone sees me and thinks that I have turned into a Hufflepuff."

"Theo, you could never," Hermione laughed.

His eyes twinkled with mischief and he pulled her to him, just a little closer than was strictly proper, and whirled her onto the dance floor.

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Draco watched as his wife danced with the Minister of Magic. She looked like the embodiment of Pureblood elegance and grace as she twirled around the dance floor in Shacklebolt's arms. He had fallen victim to old habits and had taken a firewhiskey from the bar and was slowly sipping it as he watched people mill about. No one had spoken to him yet, although he had seen Pansy and her new husband across the ballroom and Adrian had slipped out with a blonde woman that Draco was nearly positive was the wife of the Undersecretary to the Minister.

The world had moved on without him.

It was for the best. He was contaminated, a stain on Wizarding society. He really ought not to even be allowed at an event like this. His actions had contributed to the deaths of some of the people whose portraits were hung in the foyer.

Astoria was laughing at something that the Minister was saying as he twirled her about the floor and Draco wasn't sure if the happiness on her face was real or feigned. She certainly never smiled at him like that,not even when Daphne and Blaise came for a visit.

"Draco!" Theo smiled as he walked up to him. Draco sucked in a breath at the pair of them. Hermione's dress hugged every curve of her lush body. His dreams hadn't exaggerated that in the slightest. He was in awe of the sparkling golden fabric, it looked molten under the lights, Theo was perfection. His wizarding robes the same colour of blue as his eyes. Draco was surprised that they hadn't coordinated their outfits, but perhaps they weren't that sort of couple. If he still had his magic he would have conjured a golden flower for Theo's lapel just for the excuse to touch him.

He held back his desire to run his fingers through Theo's curls. One had become twisted in the opposite direction of the others and his fingers twitched with the urge to fix it. As though she read his thoughts Hermione reached up and tidied his hair. Her own beaming face turned to Draco.

"What a surprise." she laughed, "I didn't know that you would be coming."

"The Malfoy Foundation made a large donation this year, so Astoria and I had to come." Draco replied, attempting to disguise the fact that he had just been informed of his need to attend the event this morning.

Hermione gave him a look that obviously meant she was thinking about something, and looked at him in confusion. She didn't ask for details and for that he was grateful. His clever little witch was too perceptive sometimes.

She was not his. She could never be. His heart ached and he tried not to think of the dreams he had been having. Thinking of them with Theo and Hermione in front of him made his chest hurt. He could never have them like that. He was married to Astoria, after all.

Reminded of the witch in question, He looked over, but she was still dancing with the Minister.

"Draco take Hermione for a spin. You are a much better dancer than I as well as the only man in the room that I would trust with my most valuable prize," Theo insisted, smiling.

"I'm a woman, not a prize," Hermione huffed, crossing her arms under her cleavage.

"Who says you can't be both, to Theo, I mean," Draco nervously stuttered at that end point.

"Please dance with Hermione, Draco," Theo pleaded, putting his hand on Draco's arm. Draco heard what was unsaid, please dance with her because I can't dance with you in this setting and this is the closest we can get. Theo shocked him to his core by running his thumb over Draco's wrist. They hadn't touched each other's skin in years. Even with all the lunches they'd shared the past few weeks. It was as though someone had lit Draco's body on fire.

Draco's sharp intake of breath caused Theo to pull back. Draco didn't know if he was sorry or grateful that the contact had ended.

He shook off the melancholy that was threatening to overwhelm him. He sat his firewhiskey off to the side, sure that it wasn't helping the sad direction of his thoughts. He'd cried earlier when he'd found a jar of his mother's healing salve that had been hidden in his bathroom during the war when he'd been trying to figure out what to do about the fresh marks on his face. His Sectumsempra scars were bad enough, but there was nothing to be done for them. Their dark magic made them immune to any disguise.

"Miss Granger," Draco said, reaching for her hand, "May I have this dance?"

Her smile made her entire face glow as though Golden Girl was more than a nickname she held in the media.

"Of course Mr. Malfoy, I would love to." Draco felt the sensation reach his toes as her hand came into his. He pulled her onto the dance floor, keeping her at the proper distance in case anyone took photos. He hoped that this didn't ruin everything.

Looking down into her smiling face as he twirled her about the floor, Draco felt so at ease as the music and the other partners swirled around them that was until Hermione spoke.

"I think this is the closest that you have ever been to me," she whispered to him and he nodded in response to her, "I imagined this at the Yule Ball you know, what it would have been like to dance with you."

He almost tripped, staring down at her strangely. "Different days," he said, "Couldn't have happened. No matter how much I wanted to." A blush stained her cheeks at his words. He wished that he lived a life that allowed him to make her blush.

"You couldn't dance with Theo there either," she whispered, her honey eyes looking up at him earnestly, "It must have been a difficult night."

"Why would Theo and I want to," he began.

"Draco please," she admonished, "Brightest witch of her age right here, remember?"

"Theo and I - that was a long time ago Hermione," Draco said, occluding to keep from crying, grateful that that piece of his magic hadn't left him. "You two are perfect together. You don't have to worry about me interfering in your happiness."

She squeezed his hand tightly, "I'm not worried about you interfering, Draco, I'm worried for you. Please tell me what's wrong. Let me help you. Please, Theo and I both care so much about you. I know you aren't alright."

He felt as though his heart was breaking, this had to be the end, she had noticed. His secret couldn't be revealed, not to anyone. "There is nothing wrong, Miss Granger," reverting to formality to protect his heart. The music came to an end. "I have to go, please excuse me."

Draco rushed off, leaving her standing there in the middle of the floor. He fled through one of the doors into the corridor and stood there staring at the ceiling and counting to a hundred.

"Draco," his wife's cruel voice hissed, "what in the name of all that's sacred was that?" He hadn't realised that she had followed him, but he shouldn't have been surprised. He'd made a cake of himself, of course she'd seen.

"Nothing," Draco said, his hands already beginning to shake, "Theodore Nott, remember him from school? Of course you do. He and Granger are courting and he asked me to dance with her. I was just being polite, Astoria."

He heard a sound like a door opening, but no one else appeared and he stared at the floor, ready for what was sure to be a withering lecture from his wife.

"Do you think that that was an accident? I'm sure that whole bit was just a ploy to humiliate you, and by extension, me! You were dancing with the Golden Girl! That's sure to make it on all the newspapers tomorrow and that false regard she was looking at you with? Positively disgusting. And then your distasteful appearance in public for everyone to see. Those atrocious scars of yours on view publicly, completely repulsive to everyone who attended. I don't even know why I thought bringing you to this was a good idea. And then the way you were looking at her! It was absolutely pathetic, not to mention utterly undignified! Did you really think the Gryffindor Princess would want you? Ever? Evil little pathetic barely magical creature that you are. She's going to be marrying Nott and his fortune, that much was obvious tonight. She doesn't need a thing from you, certainly not your friendship."

"I hope you didn't say anything stupid while you were in public. There are important people here, Draco. Not just the crones that they have as clerks in your dungeon. I have never been so embarrassed. You are such a pathetic piece of Malfoy trash. I hate being tied to you! All the work I put into this gala and my donations, and what is going to be on the cover of the Prophet tomorrow? Your unrequited desire for Hermione Mudblood Granger! I could be sick! I danced twice with the Minister for Circe's sake!" Astoria stomped her foot, scowling at him bitterly.

"As though she'd ever forgive you for watching her be tortured on the Manor floor. Did you enjoy watching your dear Aunt Bella make her bleed? Or were you just too much of a coward to be bothered to help her? How could she do anything but despise you. And dear sweet Theodore. Don't think that I don't know all about the two of you. Blaise told Daphne years ago about your love affair." A world of hate was embedded in those two words.

"Disgusting. He's disgusting and so are you. I'm grateful I've never let you touch me that way." She shuddered with revulsion.

"Please Astoria, can I just go home?" Draco begged, leaning against the wall, "I'm so sorry. I won't ever come to anything like this again." Draco felt drained, empty and exhausted.

"You are right, you will not." Astoria said, clutching her purse, "But, I am ready to go as well. Escort me to the Floo, husband."

The way that Astoria said that last word let him know that he wasn't done being yelled at and he shuddered to think what punishment would come his way next. He already wished that he'd eaten more at the gala.