The birds were singing softly outside the window. She was listening, though she hadn't moved in a good half an hour, her gaze fixed upon the ornate ceiling of her Rivendell bedroom. The sun was shining. It was nearing the middle of summer now. However, all she could feel was cold. It was coursing through her body, caressing her bones, wrapping around her heart.

He was gone.

Haldir was gone.

Dead.

No, not just dead. Killed. Murdered by orc filth during the Battle of Helms Deep. She had loved him and he had loved her and now he was just gone, torn from her by evil, and there was nothing she could do about it.

There was a soft knock at the door but she didn't respond, didn't turn to look. The door eased open, slowly and carefully.

"Tamuril." Lord Elrond's gentle voice sounded from the doorway. He stood where he was for a moment, observing her, before his careful steps came towards her, hesitating only momentarily before sitting down upon the edge of her bed. There was another silence in which he simply looked at her before he reached out his hand, ghosting the backs of his fingers gently across her cheek. "Why don't you come and sit out in the sunshine, my dear." He withdrew his hand, expression creased with worry.

"What for?" Tamuril asked after a long moment, finally turning her head to look at him, her blank eyes meeting his own.

"Darling girl." He sighed, shaking his head. "Come." Her rose from the bed and held out his hand to her, his face making clear that it was not a question. It wasn't too often that Elrond ordered Tamuril to do anything, especially now that she was in such a state of heartbreak and grieving, but his worry for her outweighed any guilt he may feel about being demanding. He feared she was beginning to fade and that was the last thing Elrond wanted.

Tamuril had grown up in Rivendell, a half-elf much like himself, and her mother had been killed by orcs roaming the Great East Road many years ago. His daughter Arwen had taken to Tamuril instantly upon a visit home from Lothlorien and he had graciously allowed her to reside in the same halls as his family. Though they did not have a simple father/daughter relationship, they grew into great friends and Tamuril put a lot of trust in Elrond over the years. Truthfully, he felt just a little guilty, like some or most of this was his fault. For sending Haldir with the others. He knew it wasn't just his decision, Galadriel had of course made the choice with him, and Haldir had been willing enough, but if he hadn't made the decision he did, Haldir would still be alive and Tamuril wouldn't be this shell, getting emptier by the day.

She stared at his hand and sighed, reaching out to take his hand. He pulled her to her feet, keeping hold of her hand as he led her out the door and down the corridor.

Aragorn was to be crowned king in a few weeks and he was worried about leaving her. She had refused to come. Elrond thought it had something to do with the fact that she didn't want to see Aragorn. It would remind her too much of Haldir. Of his final moments. Of what had transpired at Helms Deep.

Leading her outside, Elrond looked around, nodding gracefully at the elves of his realm as they passed by. Tamuril didn't acknowledge anybody, keeping her gaze trained upon the walkway beneath her feet. She didn't let go of his hand.

"It's a beautiful day." Elrond said, taking a seat on a bench in one of the sprawling gardens. He smiled over at her, studying her face.

"It is." Tamuril looked up at him, wondering if she could fake a convincing enough smile. He would probably see right through her as always so she decided against it, turning to look out over the small river.

A silence engulfed them again and Elrond sighed softly. "Tamuril…" He didn't continue but she knew that he wanted to say something about her unresponsiveness, her carelessness, her vacant expression.

"Elrond." She merely shrugged, looking back up at him. "You do not need to worry so much."

Elrond looked at her, an eyebrow raised to the heavens. "As if it is that simple, my dear."

"It is." Tamuril shrugged. "You just… stop."

Her words caused his frown to deepen as he looked at her. "He would not want you to feel this way, Tamuril."

"Then you shouldn't have sent him to die." Her response was immediate and razor sharp.

The silence that descended upon the two then was ice cold and Elrond found himself at a loss for words. After all, wasn't he himself thinking this same thing? That it was his own fault. He couldn't blame her for thinking it too. She had trusted him all these years and he had let her down.

"Elrond…" Tamuril's voice came again quickly. She looked up, reaching out to take his hand again. "I… I didn't mean that, I shouldn't have… forgive me, I…"

He squeezed her hand gently, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "There is nothing to forgive."

Tamuril shook her head. "Elrond, please." She protested, guilt clawing its way around her heart. "I didn't mean it, you have to believe that."

"I do, darling girl, but you should."

She blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

His kind eyes softened as he gazed steadily back at her, his thumb brushing comfortingly across the back of her hand as he held it. "You should have meant it." He hesitated. "It is my fault."

Tamuril frowned. "Elrond…." Did he truly think this way? Had he been living with this guilt?

Guilt that likely bloomed because he cared for her, she knew he did, like she cared for him. She was heartbroken over Haldir's death, over the loss of him, but Elrond was her friend and he had been in an impossible position, they all had. The War of the Ring. Sauron. Everyone had fought for Middle Earth and she knew deep down that Haldir would have gone whether Elrond and Galadriel willed it or not. It didn't make it hurt any less but she didn't truly put the blame on anybody other than Sauron and the Orcs and the War. She hadn't meant it, she really hadn't, Elrond had been nothing but good to her. He was her best friend.

"Do you really believe this?" She asked him, clutching his hand with a new intensity, one he hadn't quite felt from her since Haldir's death.

He glanced down, unable to meet her gaze for a long moment. Then he simply nodded. It broke Tamuril's ice cold heart all over again.

"Elrond, you shouldn't!" She exclaimed. "I don't want you to feel this way."

"And I don't want you to feel this way." He returned, lifting his head and gazing into her eyes with an intensity that shook her. She frowned and looked away, not sure what to say to him. She knew that he was worried about her, that he fretted over her wellbeing, her mental state. It hurt so much and the world seemed grey without Haldir here with her. Her days and nights were tormented by his laugh, his smile, the words he'd whispered in her ear on visits to Lothlorien with Arwen.

He had written to her, before he went to Helms Deep, declaring that upon his return, he was going to marry her.

"It hurts, Elrond." She whispered, finally. Finally admitting it out loud. Finally saying what everybody already knew but there was some power in her finally speaking it aloud.

"I know." Elrond replied simply, keeping hold of her hand. A couple of elves passed by them on a walk through the gardens. They had been about to speak to Elrond when they'd noticed the seriousness of the conversation he was having… and who he was having it with. All of Rivendell knew of Tamuril's broken heart.

She turned back to him, sniffing. She didn't cry. She hadn't cried in weeks, having run herself dry in the days and weeks following the news of Haldir's death. She wasn't sure she had any tears left in her. She thought perhaps something had snapped inside her. Maybe she would never cry again.

Elrond wished that she would. Tears, he knew, were natural. They were healthy and healing. It was far better to let them out than to keep them bottled up, which is no doubt what she was doing, be it an unconscious decision or not.

"If I could take it from you, I would, without question." He said to her, his voice earnest, his eyes gentle, misty with unshed tears of their own.

Tamuril felt herself touched by his words, by his kindness, as always. He was too good, too kind, too pure. Elrond, her best friend, her protector. She knew that he too had been separated from his love, from Lady Celebrian, an ocean away. It wasn't the same for one day he would be reunited with her, he would join her, maybe soon now that the War was over. What would she do without him? Tamuril had considered sailing into the West… but it didn't feel right. To take her grief with her, to allow herself to heal over there? Wouldn't that be wrong? Forgetting? Cheating?

She didn't know and she didn't really like to think about it. Tamuril was simply taking it one miserably grey day at a time and had been since Haldir died.

"I'd like to go back inside now." She said softly, moving to stand and letting her fingers drop their hold on Elrond's hand. He smiled sadly, nodding as he stood up to escort her back in, most likely back to her rooms.

"Arwen is arriving soon." He said. "She will want to see you."

Arwen.

Tamuril managed the softest smile at the thought of the other woman. She was coming back from Lothlorien, readying herself to be reunited with Aragorn.

Lothlorien.

Tamuril's heart ached at the thought of that Golden Wood, where her Golden Archer had lived and breathed. Where she had visited him, tagging along with Arwen when she went to stay with her Grandparents Galadriel and Celeborn.

"She's welcome to come and find me." She said, glancing at Elrond upon reaching the door of her bedroom again. "Thank you." She hesitated, turning, before she turned back and leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Please do not feel guilty anymore… my heart can't take it."

She closed the door, leaving him with a ghost of a smile and Elrond couldn't help but smile himself. Her heart couldn't take it. Meaning her heart was feeling something at all, and that gave him some hope.

He lingered in the hall for a moment longer, staring at the closed door in front of him, and then he turned and strode off in the direction of his study. He had work to attend to.