The evening passed slowly. The stars had long been up in the sky by the time Tamuril ventured back out of her chamber. She lingered in the hallway for a moment, listening, but couldn't hear much of anything. It seemed everybody had retired for the night and she found herself breathing a sigh of relief. It's not that she didn't appreciate that she had people there, people who cared, who wanted to look out for and look after her, but it was so exhausting pretending. To put up a front, just to stop everyone from worrying that she was about to slip off the earth and fade into nothingness.

In the back of her mind, she knew it meant something that she cared enough to do that, to try and hide it from the ones she cared about, but another part of her thought it sounded nice. Slipping away. Disappearing. Extinguishing her unhappy, lonely existence.

Making her way to the gardens, Tamuril breathed in the cool night air. She enjoyed the dark much more than some of the others in Rivendell, finding the cover of it and the light of the stars comforting. She could spend a long time looking up at the sky during the night and she sometimes did just that. She remembered stargazing with Haldir up in the trees and a slight smile ghosted its way across her face before her heart felt too heavy in her chest and she had to sit down, legs suddenly shaky at the memories.

His smile when she'd turned her head and caught him looking directly at her, watching her as she watched the heavens. The blush that had coloured his cheeks when she'd done so. He was easily thrown off balance, that elf, easily embarrassed and Tamuril had found it adorable. So endearing.

A shaky breath escaped her at the same time she became aware that there was somebody else nearby. The slight clearing of a throat as Tamuril turned her head.

Thranduil.

She prayed that he hadn't heard the way her breath had stuttered out of her in agony and she prayed that he hadn't seen the way her legs had been unable to keep her upright. One look at his face told her that he had.

"Your majesty." She turned her head again, looking out over the river. "I thought everybody was abed."

"Hm." Came the thoughtful hum in reply, careful footsteps padding ever closer across the grass. Shuffling beside her as he seated himself on the bench. Silence.

She had nearly had about as much as she could take and was about to stand and go elsewhere when he finally deigned to speak to her.

"You appear restless, Lady Tamuril."

She nearly scoffed at that but managed to hold it back. Being impolite to the King of Mirkwood was probably not a very good idea.

"Yes." Was all she said, allowing another silence to fall over the pair. She stared up at the sky again before turning her head to the side to look at him, finding his eyes already fixed on her. "What?" She found herself half snapping.

The corner of Thranduil's mouth twitched as if a smirk was fighting to appear or as if he were going to laugh but Tamuril told herself she must have simply imagined it.

"It would appear there is fight in you yet." He said simply, holding her gaze for another long moment before he too turned to look skyward, watching the stars.

Tamuril was left without the power of speech as she blinked back at him. His words made her realise that he too had been watching her, aware of her condition, and he had seen what she too had only slightly touched upon. That, buried inside, she was not completely gone.

Another quiet followed, this one not quite so uncomfortable as the last. There was something in the tone of Thranduil's voice that made Tamuril feel… seen? Heard? Understood? She wasn't entirely sure if she had the words to describe it but she didn't mind it.

"You might like to try telling that to Lord Elrond." She couldn't help but quip, this time seeing the ghost of a smirk appear on Thranduil's lips.

"There is no telling Lord Elrond much of anything, I have found." Was his reply.

The two of them were not enemies, nor were they exactly friends. Thranduil respected Elrond and thought him to be a strong ally. But Thranduil didn't believe he had enough wisdom in him to treat Tamuril's little problem the way it necessarily needed to be treated. Thranduil thought himself to be much more knowledgeable in this particular situation, though he himself didn't truly enjoy thinking about it either so he wasn't really planning to help as such. It would only make his own mind wander and he spent a great deal of energy making sure that didn't happen. Thranduil's wife had been killed, much like Haldir, and he was pretty sure that the only thing that had kept him going all this time was his son. Tamuril had no such tie, though something in her seemed reluctant to fully let go. He told himself not to dwell upon it. It wasn't his problem, after all. Elrond did not have his wife with him and hadn't for a good many years, their parting bitter and very sad, but it wasn't the same thing. They would be reunited at once as soon as he sailed across the sea, sometime soon he was sure, now that the War was over. After all the loose ends had been tied up in Middle Earth, the last ship would set out.

Thranduil sat in amicable silence with Tamuril for another short while before he rose and took his leave, trailing back through the halls to the chamber he'd been designated for the duration of his stay in Rivendell.

Tamuril stayed on the bench for a long while, her thoughts twisting and turning, but not over Haldir. She was finally granted some respite it seemed, and she eventually drifted back to her own chambers feeling a little lighter than before, curling up in her bed and allowing sleep to slowly take her away.

– – – – –

The next afternoon, Tamuril took her leave of Arwen, who was going to lunch with her father to catch him up on her trip to Lothlorien. She had been invited to join but she didn't feel up to facing Elrond's pitying smile that day.

She was walking around the gardens again, when she found Nessa and Lindir sitting on the grass laughing together.

Nessa was Tamuril's best friend. The two had practically grown up together, though Nessa was fully elven and a couple hundred years older. They had been joined at the hip most of their youth and Nessa had joined Tamuril on one or two trips to Lothlorien over the years, where she had promptly taken to flirting up a storm with Haldir's brother Rumil. Nessa was the troublemaker of the pair but Tamuril wouldn't have it any other way. Though she had taken to spending a lot of time alone since…. well.

The pair on the grass noticed her before she could slip away and beckoned her over. Tamuril didn't have the heart to refuse as she walked across the grass and took a seat at the edge of the blanket they were sitting on, offering a smile.

"How are you today, my lady?" Lindir asked kindly, smiling gently at her.

Tamuril forced up a small smile of her own. "I am well, thank you, Lindir."

Nessa nudged them both with an elbow as they sat either side of her. "Lindir was just regaling me with the tale of those dwarves again." She giggled.

Tamuril shook her head. "You're obsessed with that one, Nessa. He must surely be tired of telling it."

Lindir smiled brightly. "It's no bother." He assured her, shrugging. "It makes the lady laugh." A pause. "Though I do believe that is entirely due to the fact I nearly got hit in the face with the mashed potatoes."

Nessa burst out laughing again, picturing it in her minds eye. "I wish I could have seen it!" She chuckled, clutching Lindir's arm.

The way his cheeks flushed slightly didn't escape Tamuril's notice but she didn't draw any attention to it. She had long ago gleaned Lindir's feelings for her best friend and she had never betrayed his secret. He was her friend too, after all.

Lindir eventually excused himself to help Elrond with some duties, padding away across the gardens and up to the main entrance. Nessa watched him for a brief moment before she turned back to Tamuril. "How are you? Really?"

"I am well." Tamuril said simply, giving Nessa her best impression of a smile.

Nessa threw Tamuril a withering look that told her she didn't believe her but she didn't say as much. "I was thinking about taking Elkin out today." Nessa continued on smoothly, talking about her horse. "Would you like to join me?"

Tamuril hadn't been out riding in a while. She had visited her horse in the stables but she hadn't taken him out, not really in the mood. She wasn't sure that she was in the mood right now either but something inside felt like it was pushing her. Prodding her towards agreeing. She found herself focusing on it, nodding as she looked back at her friend. "Yes, of course. I would love to."

Nessa seemed over the moon at the affirmative response and somehow that was enough for Tamuril. She stood and followed Nessa towards the stables, the other talking animatedly about her day, doing her best to distract Tamuril's thoughts. Nessa hated seeing her best friend in such a state but she was at a bit of a loss as to what she could do to help. She had never experienced anything of this sort in her entire life. In truth, Nessa hadn't experienced much of anything. She lived a sheltered existence in Rivendell and often acted as though she were many hundred years younger than she truly was, leading many to believe Tamuril was the oldest of their duo. Tamuril thought maybe it was her human side overshadowing her elven one but she never really gave it much thought.

"Hey there, girl." Tamuril smiled as she reached out a hand, patting her horse, Willow, on the nose. The horse whinnied in response as Tamuril moved to ready the animal for a ride. Nessa was already upon Elkin, both rider and beast seeming impatient to be away, so Tamuril went as quick as she could and then the four of them were away, riding out of the gate and over the bridge.

Tamuril had to admit that it did help somewhat. The wind in her hair as she rode Willow across the ground, side by side with Nessa and Elkin. There was a feeling of freedom in it and Tamuril found herself relishing in it, even daring to smile, a real one. She and Nessa raced across the plain, going further than she had intended to travel, but feeling loath to turn back and return home. Under the dimming late afternoon sky, she felt free, even almost… happy.

"We should head back." Nessa said after a while, slowing Elkin down.

Tamuril made a face. "Oh, not just yet. Come on! Let's just go and sit over there for a while."

Nessa relented as she turned and noticed the look on Tamuril's face. The brightness of her eyes. The ever so slight pink tint across her cheeks. The beginning of a smile tugging the corners of her mouth. "Alright." She chuckled herself, jumping off the horse and leading him to a good grazing spot. Tamuril dismounted and followed suit, moving over to sit beneath a pretty tree by some rocks, Nessa moving beside her.

She had to admit, it was good to be out. It wasn't as if she spent all her time cooped up in her rooms. She got out in the gardens and along the walkways, the river, and every now and then she drifted along towards the Hall of Fire, though not so often these days than in the past. This was different though.

The two passed the time talking sparingly, taking in the surroundings, and sitting in comfortable silence. Before she knew it, Tamuril was opening her eyes to darkness. What had happened? It took her a second to realise that Nessa had been shaking her awake and a second longer to realise that she had fallen asleep and it was now evening.

"What–" Tamuril began but she was promptly cut off by Nessa's hand clamping down over her mouth.

"Shh!" The other hissed.

Tamuril frowned, about to protest as she clasped her fingers over Nessa's with the intention of ripping the hand away. Then she froze, suddenly hearing it.

The vile words being spit out in black speech somewhere close by. Too close for comfort. Tamuril didn't understand what was being said but she didn't need to. How could they have been so foolish? To get caught out here with orcs, no weapons, nothing. Tamuril looked around and noticed that the horses were nowhere to be seen. Had they bolted? It was the only explanation she could come to as she pressed herself to the rock, turning to take in Nessa's strained expression.

Her friend looked absolutely terrified. They had ridden out here many times in the past but never in dark and never when orcs were close. Did anybody even know they were this close to the borders? After the War was won, all had gone chasing after those nasty creatures who had escaped, intent on wiping them out once and for all. This small band seemed to have evaded detection and were now obviously on a hunt of their own. They were too close to Rivendell but Tamuril and Nessa were too far from it. Especially on foot.

Nessa turned, grasping her arm and gestured behind them. She made it clear that they had no choice but to sneak away, steal through the grass back the way they had come and make a run for it. Tamuril nodded in agreement. There was nothing else for it. She peeked up over the rock once more, able to pick out their disgusting figures a short distance away. Wincing, she did her best to move soundlessly, which was sometimes harder for her than for the other elves she knew. Even Elrond. Tamuril always suspected she had less elven blood in her than even he did.

As the two picked their way across the ground, Tamuril's foot connected with an unseen trip hazard buried in the dark grass and she was crashing to the ground before she could even stop and think. A yelp of surprise flew from her lips before she could stop it and the deafening silence that followed weighed heavy on her entire being. Nessa sucked in a breath as the orcs suddenly began to cry out and then came the unmistakable sound of them drawing weapons and running in their direction.

"Get up! Move!" Nessa grabbed Tamuril's arm, yanking her onto her feet, the time for silence and stealth long past.

The two ran as fast as they could, panic increasing as the sounds from the pursuit behind them only grew louder. Another scream was ripped from Tamuril's throat as something sharp nicked her ankle and she went tumbling back down to the ground, landing hard.

Rolling onto her back, Tamuril found herself suddenly face to face with a dirty blade and dark eyes, hungry for the kill.

Time started to move in slow motion as Tamuril's head started to feel full of concrete. She found that she didn't feel anything as she stared down the length of the blade. She didn't even feel the urge to move, to run, to get away. Her limbs felt heavy and she lay there, unmoving, waiting for the sword to pierce her skin.

Then the sound of a horn pierced loudly through the night.

A spear found its home in the chest of the orc that was focused on Tamuril. Hooves thundered and a group of elves from Rivendell tore across the field, slaying the rest of the orcs as they attempted to flee.

A horse came to a stop beside her and Tamuril lifted her chin, meeting the stern grey gaze of Lord Elrond.