For the next five days, Tamuril didn't venture out of her chambers. She hid herself away, ignoring all knocks on the door and protests to come outside or to meals. The door stayed locked and she ignored everyone and everything. Not even Arwen could get her to show her face.

During these days, Elrond didn't come to see her and she couldn't decide if she was glad about it or not. Part of her wished he would just come and yell at her already, get it all out in the open. He must want to. She had been foolish and she knew that she had frightened him by acting the way she had in the face of an enemy's blade.

Time passed in a bit of a blur. Very late on the fifth night, Tamuril was beginning to feel quite restless, though she was loath to actually get up and leave her chambers just in case she ran into anybody. She wasn't in the mood for forced conversation and pitying looks. When the images in her head simply refused to let up and she started to feel sick to death of seeing Haldir's face or the image of the orc's blade in her mind's eye, Tamuril rose and moved to the door, unlocking it and peering out into the hallway.

She thought that she caught a flash of movement at the end of the hall, something silver, but when she turned her head to properly look there was nothing there and she decided that she must have imagined it. Easing the door closed behind her, she made her way down the hall and out into the night, looking up at the stars. Tamuril moved to the gardens on autopilot, sidestepping the bench this time and sinking down into the soft grass, laying out on her back so she could see the sky above. The stars twinkled overhead in the inky blackness, the moon looked down on her. The night was quiet and still and she lay there for a while, content to be alone, until she realised that she wasn't any longer.

"May I join you?" The voice was unmistakable as Thranduil's and Tamuril found herself startled. She turned her head, raising herself just a little to balance on her elbows as she looked up at him. He stood tall looking down at her, face impassive as ever.

"I…" Tamuril paused, swallowing, a little out of practice from five days alone in silence. "I thought that you would have gone home by now…. your majesty."

Thranduil waved his hand a little as she tacked on the title again, nearly forgetting herself. The gesture seemed to tell her it was unnecessary, though Tamuril didn't know why he would even think it. Surprising her, he lowered himself to the ground beside her and stretched out, gaze turning to the sky much as she had been doing moments previously.

"I have one more day before I return to the Woodland Realm." Thranduil told her simply.

Tamuril stayed where she was for a long moment, looking at him curiously. She couldn't figure out why he was here, lying beside her in the dirt. Not to mention that she had been incredibly rude to him not even a week ago and he hadn't even demanded an apology. She stared at him a second too long, taking in his side profile, before she frowned slightly and resumed her previous position.

Neither of them spoke and she had been expecting something. Maybe a telling off or a talking down to. A lecture. But she was simply given the King's quiet, solid company until he eventually stood, bowed to her, and took his leave.

Tamuril was left feeling equal parts confused and content as she watched him go, unsure about either of these feelings.

She stayed under the watchful eyes of the stars until the sun began to rise and then Tamuril decided that it was time to stand up and retreat once more to her chamber. She had lingered too long and she didn't want to end up encountering anybody right now.

Of course, as soon as she stood up and took five steps, who should come round the corner but Lord Elrond himself. The two stood staring at each other for a long moment. Tamuril wilted slightly under his gaze and then followed his silent command to follow as he turned and led her towards his chambers.

It was time then…

Tamuril was anxious as she trailed after him, wringing her hands in front of her. She hadn't seen him for five days and he hadn't sought her out either, which was a little unusual. Had she truly upset him that much?

Elrond closed the door to his rooms behind her and moved over to brew some tea. She watched him quietly, worried gaze following his movements as he turned back with the two cups of tea, setting one on the table and gesturing to the empty chair. She quickly took a seat, biting her lip. Neither spoke for a few moments. Tamuril was unsure and Elrond was preparing himself for what he felt was going to be an uncomfortable conversation.

"I hear you haven't left your room since you got back."

Tamuril shrugged. "I've been feeling tired."

Elrond hummed, nodding slightly, his expression becoming thoughtful as he sipped his tea. Tamuril watched him, wondering what he was thinking. She wished she could peek into his mind much like Galadriel could do.

"Elrond, I–"

"Tamuril, I am very–"

Both of them spoke suddenly at the same time and Tamuril lowered her gaze to the table, frowning softly.

Elrond sighed. "You first."

Tamuril bit her lip gently, sighing as she looked back up at him. "I'm just… I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Upsetting you."

Elrond was quiet, eyes boring into her as he watched her from across the table. "Are you sorry you got caught?" He asked. "Sorry you were saved?"

Tamuril's frown deepened as she looked at him. "What?" She didn't want to have this conversation. She didn't want to think or say or do anything but leave this room and hide in her chamber until everything she was feeling went away. She didn't want to speak or look anyone until she could breathe again, even him. Especially him. Guilty as that thought maybe her.

"Answer the question." Elrond continued quietly, gaze not faltering even as hers floundered around the room.

"Yes." The word slipped from her mouth in a frustrated huff, uncomfortable with this line of questioning. She stared him in the eye then, wanting to see his reaction. He did his best to keep his expression serene and blank but she caught the flicker that ran through him. The pain, the sadness, the anger. Maybe she wanted to hurt him but she couldn't fathom why or where this feeling had come from. All she knew was that she was frustrated and she just wanted it all to stop. "You should have let that beast spear me."

"Tamuril! Stop it!" Elrond raised his voice just slightly but it caused her to jump a little all the same. It was rare that Tamuril did anything to cause such a reaction in Lord Elrond. Even when Nessa had gotten her into the most ridiculous trouble while they were growing up, pulling her into her schemes. Elrond may have scolded the pair but the fond twinkle had stayed in his eyes. It wasn't there right now, all Tamuril saw in his gaze was frustration. She missed the fear and the pain, focusing only on his disappointment.

"This cannot go on." Elrond spoke again, shaking his head sadly. He didn't know what to do anymore but the thought that she would put herself in danger, that she would give up, that the light she had always held within her had faded to a mere glimmer… it hurt him. It scared him.

Elrond was at a loss.

And being at a loss was not something the Lord of Rivendell was used to.

"So what do you suggest, my Lord? What would you have me do?" Tamuril found herself asking, suddenly having found her voice, though perhaps that was not set to be a very good thing.

Elrond blinked at her for a brief moment, surprised at her use of title. It had been a long time since Tamuril had called him anything other than his name.

"I would have you board a ship." Elrond said steadily, after a long silence. "And sail west."

The shock hit Tamuril like an axe to the brain. "You…" She paused, swallowing thickly as her voice caught in her throat. "You wish to send me away?"

"I wish you to heal." Elrond corrected firmly. He didn't wish to send her away, he didn't wish for her to go anywhere that wasn't here, with him, but she couldn't go on like this.

"Stop." She scowled, irritated again at the reason this was even brought up. She didn't want to think about it. About Haldir. About the fact he was gone, dead, that she couldn't open her eyes and wake up from this nightmare. That they weren't to be wed. They would have no children. The life she had dreamed of with him, in Lothlorien, was gone and no matter where she went or what she did or who she talked to, she couldn't forget it. This reality that she had found herself in was as suffocating as Elrond's pointed gaze fixed upon her.

"Listen to me-" Elrond attempted to continue but he found himself abruptly cut off.

"No!" Tamuril snapped, shooting him a glare. "I am tired of listening to you!"

Elrond went quiet, watching her, giving her the space to continue and get out whatever was on the tip of her tongue.

"I am tired of your pity and your sad, lingering looks and being treated like I am made of glass!" Tamuril continued on, frowning at him. She hadn't even been consciously aware that she had had these thoughts anywhere in her mind and her own words surprised her even as they left her lips.

The shock of it caused anything further to catch in her throat and she shut her mouth, pressing her lips together. She folded her arms, stubbornly and perhaps childishly, as she turned her face away so she didn't have to look at him anymore.

Elrond, however, wouldn't allow that as he rose from his seat and moved to stand in front of her. Crouching before her and reaching to gently move her chin to face him. She resisted but he was relentless and she soon met his gaze.

"You must listen to me." He tried to keep his voice steady but he was truly finding it very difficult to keep his emotions in check. Seeing somebody he cared so deeply for like this was heartbreaking to him. Elrond did not like encountering something that he could not fix, especially for the people around him, and he felt helpless. "It is scary but this may be the best thing… for you."

"I just do not care anymore." She muttered stubbornly, staring into his eyes.

"That, my darling girl, is the problem." Elrond stated firmly, staring back at her intensely. "If there was anything that I could do… if I could take this from you… I would do it. Without question."

Tamuril knew that he meant it. He always meant it. Elrond always wanted to help, he always wanted to fix things. There was no fixing this. Was there? He couldn't bring Haldir back to her. He couldn't go back in time and change what happened, change his decision to send soldiers to Helms Deep. She looked back at him, feeling nothing but the awful, intense loneliness welling up inside her. Was there anything he could do? Could he take it from her?

Elrond was beyond shocked as Tamuril's lips met his own with the smallest dip of her delicate neck. He was frozen in place as she pressed a kiss to his mouth, soft and timid. His eyes remained open, locked on her face in utter disbelief. Swiftly, he lifted his arms and pressed his hands against her arms, gently easing her away from him. "Tamuril…"

She didn't know what in middle-earth had possessed her to do that. To tilt forward in the space between them and kiss him. All she had felt was the loneliness and the devastation and she had wanted it to go away. In her mind, she'd seen Haldir, but she had kissed Elrond.

Mortification immediately flooded through her and she sprang up out of her seat, hand flying to her face in horror as she stared wildly back at him. He rose from his crouch, looking back at her carefully. She was set to flee, he could see that clearly. She was embarrassed, she felt like she had made a terrible mistake. "Tamuril… wait…" He held his hands up.

Eyes wide, she shook her head, and then turned away, running from his chambers and fleeing through the hallways back to her own room where she knocked a vase off the side table, watching it smash into little pieces. How could she have done such a foolish thing?! She was filled with shame. What would he think of her now? A stupid, whorish little girl throwing herself at the first man she could as if that was the solution to grief?

She respected him, she always had, and what had she done? How had she repaid his kindness to her? She had just taken him for a complete fool.

What would Haldir think of her if he were here?!

Tamuril felt a scream bubbling up her throat but she pushed it down as she turned and started pulling clothes and other belongings out and stuffing them into a bag.

She couldn't face him. Not after this. There was no way.

She had to leave.