CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Back by popular demand! So many people here and on facebook have been asking and even demanding that I continue this story and finish it right, so I am! This will continue on as a song fic in a fashion; that is to mean that there will be song lyrics incorporated, but they won't be as prevalent as they are in chapter 1. This is due in large part to the enhanced size and scope of the story going forward. I figure this to be a six or seven chapter story, we'll see how that goes. Don't worry the ending will be good so come along for the ride and let's tell this story right!

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: So once again nevr was my beta for this chapter and once again he's been great; he's been huge in helping me develop the rest of this story as i've been bouncing ideas off of him for the last three days or so. He's been a huge help throughout this process and I can't thank him enough for being an incredible sounding board for my crazed ramblings.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: If you're interested in listening to the song then go to you()tube / watch ?v=bnXkMNyc794

CHARMING'S ADDITIONAL AUTHORS NOTE: I've decided to cut all of the lyrics out of this story to make it more compliant with the rules of FFN, I care about this story too much to lose it over something like that.

I Don't Want Your Desire

A Story by

CharmingCharles2896

Chapter Inspired by the Song

Loveless by Lo Moon

Chapter Two

Loveless

How do we move on when we know what we had shall never return, and what lay ahead cannot fill that void inside of us? Everyone was asking him to simply move on like it never happened, to act like he hadn't met the most incredible woman on planet earth. His family and friends had no way of knowing what he was going through, and those that did know either didn't care or couldn't do anything about it anyway. He felt empty, numb; what was the pointing in getting up in the morning if she wasn't going to be there in Castle with her beautiful smile that always brightened his day? The line they'd originally planned to give everyone was that Sarah had left for DC to get back together with her old boyfriend, but Chuck wasn't having it. That conversation had been an interesting one, Casey seemed indifferent, Agent Forest didn't care about his opinion, and General Beckman wasn't saying much.

Three Days Earlier

Chuck shook his head 'no' as General Beckman said the words; he just couldn't do what she was suggesting. This was all wrong and there was nothing he could do about it and he knew it, but he wasn't going to let them take his love for her away from him.

"I won't do it." Chuck said simply to the shock of everyone; he hadn't said a word to any of them since this whole thing had gone down.

"What did you say Mr. Bartowski?" General Beckman asked in shock.

"I won't pretend to hate her; I will not act like I hate the woman I love. If I have to tell my sister that Sarah left me for another man then she'll expect me to hate Sarah and I can't do it." Chuck said adamantly.

"Bartowski, it isn't your call; if we want you to hate Agent Walker then you'll do it." Agent Forest said dismissively, which did nothing but make Chuck angry.

"Oh yeah I forgot my opinion doesn't matter anymore; I forgot that you get anything you want no matter how much it hurts me." Chuck said sarcastically.

"You're damn right moron, now shut up and let the grown ups talk." She said back to him.

"Or what, what else are you going to take huh? You took my future, you took the love of my life, what else do you want my goddamn kidney?" Chuck said angrily as he stood up and stormed off in a huff; General Beckman was a bit shocked, she'd never seen the Intersect go off like that before. Agent Forest stood up and jogged after her insolent asset. As she followed him down the hallway in Castle she shouted after him.

"Hey get back here!" Chuck stopped and spun around to look at her with pure disdain in his eyes. As Agent Forest got to Chuck she quickly grabbed his arm and twisted it in such a way that he could do nothing but cry out in pain and bend to her will. Agent Forest got close to his ear as she pressed him against the wall.

"Now listen and listen good you disgusting insect, you mean absolutely nothing, as far as I'm concerned you're nothing but a walking talking computer and that's all I need from you. Be careful how you act or I'll be forced to incentivize you in a way that though grotesque will get the point across in a hurry. Don't forget that you have a sister and friends, you have everything to lose and if you don't tow the line I will take it all away from you and I won't lose a minute of sleep over it. From now on you will say nothing unless I ask you to, you will do nothing unless I order you to do it, do I make myself clear?" Chuck simply nodded as the pain in his shoulder became unbearable.

"Good." She said as she kicked his legs out from under him and watched him tumble to the floor. "Get up off the floor and get back to the briefing!" She screamed at him, slowly Chuck got to his feet and like a wounded animal shuffled back to the briefing room. When he reentered the briefing room Casey could see that any defiance that had remained inside him was gone now; he had no idea what she said to him, but whatever it was had gotten the point across. Chuck didn't say another word for the rest of the briefing; he simply sat there like a zombie. Chuck couldn't remember anything from the briefing; it all simply passed by in a haze; as soon as the briefing ended Chuck made his way out of Castle and to the Buy More to start his shift.

All day Casey simply watched Chuck from afar, he didn't like what he was seeing at all. It was like Agent Forest had taken his soul and left just the hollow shell behind. This whole thing was FUBAR and he didn't like it, but General Beckman wasn't known to be a person willing to reverse her decisions so there was very little to be done about the current state of things in Burbank. At the Nerd Herd desk Chuck was simply sitting there numbly, simply filling out paperwork; he never even recognized Morgan's voice from behind him.

"Hey Chuck," Chuck finally noticed and turned to his left to see Morgan standing there with a concerned look on his face. "How you holding up?" Morgan said with a knowing smile.

Chuck simply shrugged, "Another miserable day in hell." Morgan felt so bad, Sarah was the one and now she'd left him like all the others. She hadn't even given a reason for why she was suddenly leaving. All she'd told Chuck was that she had to go away and wasn't coming back, whatever the hell that meant. As far as Morgan was concerned the lying succubus was dead to him.

"Come on Chuck, don't do this to yourself again; you can't let her win like this, you've got to live your life and show her you don't need her." Morgan said trying to rouse something from his best friend; Chuck simply looked at Morgan.

"This wasn't some battle for dominance Morgan, this isn't like with Jill where she betrayed me. Sarah didn't want to go; she sobbed in my arms before she left, her heart was breaking just as much as mine." Chuck said defending the woman he loved.

"Chuck, if she really loved you, she would have stayed here with you; you're supposed to fight for the ones you love. Remember what Ellie says? You can't go too far for the people you love." Chuck simply shook his head and tried to control his growing anger as he spoke.

"Morgan, it isn't that simple; she had to go, it wasn't her decision."

"Come on Chuck, you can't really believe that; you remember all the problems your relationship with Sarah has had for the last year and a half. If she really loved you as much as you say she does, you two wouldn't have had this many problems and she would have fought to stay with you." Morgan hated to do this, but it had to be said, Sarah wasn't what Chuck thought she was and he needed to see that. "More than likely she has another man waiting for her in DC, but didn't want to tell you. She knew about Jill and she didn't want to hurt you like that."

The fury with which Chuck snapped back at Morgan's accusation made Morgan recoil.

"Sarah Walker was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will not let anyone speak ill about her. Do not ever say that about Sarah ever again, she simply had to leave. This wasn't about another man and if I ever hear you talk about her like that again then we are done." Chuck threatened; Morgan took a half step backwards in shock and betrayal.

"Fine I'll lay off, I was just trying to help." Morgan said as he turned and walked away.

"Well stop trying to help me." Chuck said as his best friend walked away; as soon as Morgan was gone Chuck slumped down in his chair and let his head rest in his hands on the Nerd Herd desk. What was he doing taking his anger at the US Government out on his friends? Across the Buy More Casey simply shook his head in disgust, this was a raw deal that Bartowski didn't deserve.

Two Weeks Later

Chuck wasn't flashing and it was a problem; he hadn't had a good flash since Sarah had been reassigned. As Casey and Agent Forest walked back into Castle after yet another failed mission Chuck was simply waiting there for the inevitable berating from Agent Forest.

"What the fuck Moron, your flash was wrong!" She yelled at him, Casey simply shook his head in disbelief this routine wasn't productive.

"What do you want from me, I've been saying that the Intersect isn't working for two weeks now!" Chuck said to her as she stood in front of him angrily.

"I want you to shape up and do your damn job; figure this shit out Moron." She screamed at him and then walked by him.

"What do you think I've been trying to do for the last two weeks since you arrived and ruined my life!?" Chuck asked angrily as he slumped down in a chair and simply shook his head in defeat. There was no pleasing that she-devil, no matter how much of an effort he put in to fixing his problems. Chuck was pulled from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder; Chuck looked up to his left and saw Casey with a sad smile on his face.

"Don't worry Bartowski, I know you're trying your best." Casey gave Chuck a pat on the back and left to unload his equipment. Chuck missed the good old days when his biggest worry was if he and Sarah actually had something real underneath the fake relationship. Now he was simply trying to stay out of a bunker, he was drowning in an ocean and he was simply trying to keep his head above the water.

Meanwhile in the armory Casey and Agent Forest were unloading their equipment; Casey pressed a button on the wall and the door closed. Agent Forest looked up at him and spoke.

"What are you doing Major?" Casey didn't answer her and instead walked around the large table and got in her face.

"You need to lay off of Bartowski, this abusive bullshit isn't helping him at all; since you got here we've had nothing but trouble. At least the team was effective with Walker and Bartowski's will they/won't they crap hanging over everything. Now we're lucky to get back alive, he's not flashing and your abusive behavior isn't going to magically fix him." Casey said to her coldly, Agent Forest simply smirked at him.

"Careful Major, wouldn't want to look compromised; we all saw how that worked out for Walker. If you really care about the geek, you'll keep your mouth shut and stay out of my way." With that veiled threat Agent Forest returned to cleaning her weapons; Casey simply shook his head in disbelief and dropped his bags of equipment on the floor and left, he could clean it all later. Chuck was busy reading reports when he saw Casey storm out of Castle in a huff. Outside, Casey climbed into his Crown Victoria and simply sat there and stewed; this was bullshit and everyone knew it. He wanted to kill that bitch and he was really inclined to do it, but he knew he couldn't or there wouldn't be anyone looking out for Bartowski's interests. That used to be Walker's job, but she was gone now so it was up to him to look out for the nerd. This Alex Forest was a tyrant and it pissed him off, but he couldn't touch her in the wake of the 49B.

He was so angry, it was burning inside of him; in a rage Casey banged on the steering wheel hard and yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Goddamn you General Beckman, you stubborn old woman!" He thought to himself; was this really better than it was with Walker?

Back inside Castle, Agent Forest was busy writing her report for the latest mission; she was team leader so she wrote the final report. The reality of what was happening made her mad, the Intersect wasn't functioning properly and her partner Major Casey hated her guts. The team was a mess and it was all her fault, but she couldn't tell General Beckman; that would be career suicide to admit that she'd ruined the best team in US Intelligence. No, she would do what she'd been doing for the last two weeks, she'd lie, she'd send in the sanitized version of what was happening. This was a huge opportunity for her career and she wasn't going to waste it now. Agent Forest smiled to herself as she finished typing.

Asset continues to be uncooperative and team performance is suffering because of it; I have serious doubts about Major Casey's ability to continue on this team, but I'll wait and see on that one.

One Week Later

It had been three weeks since Sarah had left her younger brother and Ellie Bartowski-soon to be Woodcomb was extremely worried about him. He barely ate, he wasn't sleeping well, and he hardly talked anymore. As she watched her brother walk back inside after another shift at the Buy More and wordlessly retreat back to his room, she had to stop herself from crying. Even if that woman's intentions were pure, what had happened to her brother now that she was gone was inexcusable. She didn't even break his heart; at least then he could hate her, instead he was left to reminisce about what they could have been.

"Damn you Sarah Walker!" Ellie thought to herself as she heard Chuck's bedroom door close.

Chuck knew his sister was worried and maybe she had a reason to be worried; Chuck was just dreading the day when Ellie offered to set him up with another one of her doctor friends. The last thing he needed was for some pretty doctor to reject him because his heart was irreparably broken by another woman. Maybe a part of him wanted a rebound, but only for purely skin-deep reasons; the distraction might do him some good, but that would be a betrayal of the love of his life. The pleasures of the flesh might distract him, but the hole in his heart wasn't going to simply disappear. Chuck was a different person from what he was before Sarah entered his life; she'd shown him there was more to life then the Buy More and video games with Morgan, but now it seemed like all of that possibility and hope for the future left when she did. He knew she'd been the catalyst that brought about so much change, he simply didn't have it in him to harness that energy any longer. The woman he loved, the woman he needed was gone now and a piece of him had gone with her.

Three Weeks Later

This had to end before someone got killed; John Casey had tried his best to keep things going after the 49B, but it just wasn't possible any longer. Six weeks of watching Bartowski retreat into himself, six damn weeks of watching that tyrant Alex Forest treat a good man like he wasn't human. Poor sap was a hollow shell of his former self; even the oft-stoic Major Johnathan Thomas Casey found it sad to watch. He was a ghost, a shadow, a shade, anything but the joyous nerd that he used to be. Chuck Bartowski wasn't here anymore, he left when Sarah Walker was forced to leave; all that remained was the hollow shell that Chuck Bartowski used to inhabit. Not even Morgan, Ellie, and Devon could pull Chuck out of his shell.

Ellie was devastated seeing what had happened to her brother, this was light-years beyond what happened at Stanford and they couldn't do anything to help him. Chuck Bartowski was broken and nothing could fix him; now he wasn't flashing at all and the team was basically benched until some government shrinks could "fix the Intersect." The only thing that could fix Chuck now was if Sarah Walker walked back into that bedroom and promised never to leave again, but General Beckman was too stubborn to do that.

The tipping point had been three days ago when during a secret briefing without Bartowski, Agent Forest had proposed dosing Chuck with an experimental drug called Luadanol that would suppress his emotions to get the Intersect working again. The fact that General Beckman even considered doing that to John Casey's asset just pissed him off…

Three Days Ago

As soon as the words came out of Agent Forest's mouth General Beckman was contemplating the idea.

"That's it!" Casey thought to himself as the rage he'd been suppressing for the last six weeks bubbled to the surface. In a flash Casey was up and had his sidearm drawn and aimed at Agent Forest. Both General Beckman and Agent Forest were stunned to see Casey react like he did, but the words that came from his mouth were what stuck with them the most.

"Listen closely Agent Forest, if anyone so much as thinks about forcing Bartowski to take Laudanol I will end them. If you attempt to talk to him about Laudanol I will end you, if you try to drug him without his knowledge I will end you. Do I make myself clear?" Casey said menacingly at the two of them, General Beckman was more annoyed than anything else, ever since she'd ordered the 49B, Team Intersect had been a dysfunctional mess. Some nights she wondered if she'd made a mistake pulling Agent Walker from the team, but she couldn't go back on that now or she'd look weak in the eyes of her peers in the Intelligence community. For Agent Forest, her reaction was somewhat different; the best way she would describe her reaction was terror, sheer terror. John Casey was a scary motherfucker and though she'd been able to keep her thumb over him for the last six weeks, if he made a threat that overtly it wasn't to be taken lightly. The fact that he called her Agent Forest all the time and not Alex or Forest as he had with that blonde bimbo they'd had here before told her he didn't respect her in the slightest, well the feeling was mutual.

"Okay let's just calm down, nobody is forcing the Intersect to take Laudanol Major Casey." General Beckman said trying to defuse the situation that she sensed had been a long time in the making. "Let's adjourn for right now and continue this meeting some other time." General Beckman said as she ended the call; as soon as the call ended Agent Forest stood up and tried to speak, but Casey cut her off with a chilling glare and a growl that would make a grizzly bear proud.

"Don't even start, Agent Forest." Casey said as he stormed off; Agent Forest was willing to let a lot go, but not that.

"What's the matter Major, don't like my methods?" She asked arrogantly, Casey stopped and spun around.

"You didn't really think Walker was compromised, did you?" Agent Forest's eyes lit up with glee as Major Casey was finally figuring it. "You saw an opportunity to advance your career so you took it didn't you?" Agent Forest simply smiled at him devilishly.

"Of course Walker wasn't compromised, she may have been in love with the geek, but she was still able to protect him. I saw an opportunity to get on the best team in the world so I told General Beckman exactly what she wanted to believe. Walker's career gets ruined and mine gets fast tracked, it's perfect." As Casey heard Agent Forest confess to her diabolical plot he was disappointed more than surprised.

"The best part is that old bag won't reverse it because she's too stubborn to admit she made a mistake so I'm here to stay baby!" Agent Forest said with an amused laugh as she walked by Casey and left Castle. The anger he felt in the pit of his stomach was burning him up, he had to find a way to fix this, but she was right that she was practically untouchable. This was an injustice and Major Casey wasn't going to let this one go.

The Present

Since that day three days ago Casey had been stewing over his conundrum and he was starting to form a plan to get rid of the tyrannical Agent Alex Forest, but that had gone out the window after their latest mission. They'd been trying to secure a biological weapon that was developed by the Soviets during the Cold War. While he was about to grab the weapon Agent Forest blew their cover and he'd nearly been blown up by a hand grenade. So, plan be damned it was time to end this hell before anyone got killed. Casey jogged down the stairs into Castle and was thankful that Agent Forest wasn't there; this conversation needed to happen and she needed to be somewhere else. Casey had a rough idea of what he wanted to say to the General, but how she'd react was anyone's guess. Casey went to a computer and began the call and then returned to standing at the head of the large table. When the General's face appeared on screen his eyes grew wide as he saw her nursing what looked to be a glass of scotch; when she noticed she was on camera she frantically pushed her glass and the bottle of scotch off camera and straighten herself out a bit. Casey did his best not to laugh or smile as he watched her.

"What's going on Major Casey?" She asked with a hint of confusion; this was the moment of truth, either the team lived or died in this moment.

"General I need to voice some concerns about the current status of the team." The General had seen this call coming after the Major's blowup a few days ago; things had gotten bad in Burbank to the point that the POTUS was starting to ask questions.

"Go ahead Major, you've always been a straight shooter." General Beckman said to the camera above her computer screen; Casey cleared his throat and began the speech he'd been going over in his head for the last half hour.

"The team cannot function in its current state General; Bartowski isn't flashing and what flashes he does have are either complete gibberish or so oblique as to be completely useless." Casey had more to say, but he wanted to give the general time to process and speak; after a short pause the general spoke with a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Why wasn't I made aware of this?" This was the moment, either this next comment went over well or his career was likely over.

"Agent Forest writes the reports, so I'd assume she's withholding that information from you General. Bartowski hasn't had a good quality flash since before the 49B." There it was, the accusation had been leveled and it was in her court now.

"What are you trying to say Major, are you saying that Agent Forest has been withholding information from her reports?" Casey simply nodded and spoke.

"It's worse General, she told me herself three days ago that she lied about Walker being compromised because she wanted to advance her career and she figured she could get Agent Walker out of the picture." This was the big accusation.

"That's a big claim you're making Major Casey, be careful what you say next. How do you know this information?"

"She told me General, three days ago after the whole Laudanol thing I confronted her and figured out that she lied about the whole thing. Then she admitted it to my face and claimed to be untouchable because you'd never reverse your decisions." Casey was going out on a limb, but it needed to be said before either he got killed or Bartowski did. General Beckman knew John Casey, he wouldn't lie to her about this; he was a marine and she was his superior. If John Casey was saying that Agent Forest was lying and otherwise hurting the team then it was the truth.

"This is a disturbing development Major Casey, but that still doesn't explain the Intersect's issues." General Beckman said steering the conversation back to the main issue.

"General, Chuck Bartowski is in love with Agent Walker; simply put she's the one for him and her absence has had a dramatic effect on him. His despair of the loss of Agent Walker from his life has dramatically affected his interactions with the Intersect. His emotions affect the Intersect far more than anyone could have anticipated and right now he's so depressed that I fear he may harm himself." General Beckman was floored to be hearing this news from her most trusted agent; to hear that Bartowski was in love and her absence was basically destroying the team gave her great pause.

"Bartowski's had a tough life and a lot of people have left him, but this is worse General. He could feel angry at the ones who betrayed him or abandoned him, but he can't feel that way with Sarah because she loves him too and didn't want to leave. So now he knows that the one person who would never betray him is gone from his life and never coming back." As Casey finished he watched General Beckman contemplate.

"Well as much as you may be right about the Intersect and Agent Walker and that's a thin maybe, I can't take the chance with her." She could see his nervousness as he no doubt thought about how much more to say so she spoke once again in an effort to cut through the BS.

"Just spit it out Major, I don't have all day." Casey simply nodded.

"The night she was reassigned she snuck into his room to say goodbye, I edited out the footage from all the security tapes because I didn't want it getting back to anyone and hurting whatever career she has left." Casey returned to the computer and sent General Beckman the file and continued. "I've edited out the part where they have fairly graphic sex, but everything else tells the story far better than I ever could." As Casey finished General Beckman saw his message with an attached mp4 file.

"I'll be honest and admit I'm not happy about you editing the surveillance tapes and we'll definitely be having a talk about that later, but I can respect you looking out for your partner. I'll call you back in a bit after I watch this." Beckman said before she ended the call and opened the file.

It was a night vision video of the Intersect's bedroom; like Casey had said Agent Walker entered through the damn window. As she continued watching, the sight she saw made her feel sick. These were two people who were dying inside and simply trying to have one last happy moment together; for nearly an hour Beckman watched all the tears, the anguished wails of the legendary Agent Sarah Walker, the fruitless attempts by Mr. Bartowski to calm her and stop the tears that only led to more tears of his own. When Agent Walker spoke about how she wasn't going to survive out in the field and Mr. Bartowski begged her to stay, General Diane Beckman, a former cold-blooded spy in her own right, found herself crying along with them.

"Those poor kids…" She mused to herself with a hefty amount of remorse as she watched Agent Walker hug her former asset and profess her love to him one last time. Watching her leave back through the window and the shattered facial expression on her face made the General feel things she hadn't dealt with in many decades. She had to stop the video as Mr. Bartowski collapsed on his bed and let out the most heart-rending cries she'd ever heard come out of a man.

She needed a drink and the glass of scotch she'd been nursing was just the thing she needed. She downed the entire glass in one go and quickly poured herself another. With her other hand she retrieved her handkerchief and wiped at the tears. The only thing she could think about was her own parents; her father was drafted into the army for the Vietnam War when she was ten years old in 1967. The moment a year later when her mother received his folded American flag she saw a look of anguish that she would never forget for as long as she lived. She saw that same look on both of their faces; it was a mixture of anger, confusion, grief, and immense loss. Her mother was never the same after that; for the rest of her life her normally beaming smile never quite reached her eyes again. No matter how much she wanted to stick to the rules in this situation, no matter how much her brain told her to stay the course, the current state of affairs in Burbank mixed with the video she'd just watched told her it was time for a change. General Beckman set down her scotch and grabbed her phone; she was about to do something she never did… reverse course.

"Lillian, get me Director Hawthorne."

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: So what do you all think? To me this turned out really well considering most of the story was thought up in 30 minutes while I was in the bathroom one day lol. Anyways, in the next chapter will see Chuck go on a mission all by himself, but is everything as it seems!? Find out next time when "I Don't Want Your Desire" returns with chapter 3 "Sara's Smile"

CHARMING'S AUTHOR'S NOTE #5: If you wish to opine feel free to leave a review, I really appreciate them all good or bad as they help me gauge what the readers think of my work. For a lot of us writers it's a long and draining process to write something like this so your reviews really mean a lot.

UNTIL NEXT TIME :D