May 1999

Logan adjusted the brim of his black baseball cap down over his forehead as his eyes vigilantly took in his surroundings. "Did you get them?" he asked into the ether.

"I got 'em." The voice came from his right, but he didn't turn to look at the speaker. Logan let out silent breath. He'd pulled many a prank in his day, but he'd never planned anything quite this big; there were a million tiny things that had to go just right and if even one thing backfired, they could all be in for a world of hurt. Not that things could get much worse for Logan. His father had already informed him that he would be spending his summer interning at the Providence Page. A nearly two hour long commute each way, three days a week, just to follow around a bunch of sycophantic employees who would fawn all over him and tell him everything he did was great. Not to mention all the meetings at HPG headquarters in Manhattan he'd be dragged to with his father, who would undoubtedly spend the entire ride to the city telling him how everything he did was a screw-up. It was summer, he was supposed to be spending it hanging out by the pool, sailing on the yacht, partying with his friends. He wasn't supposed to be spending it in a stuffy suit writing obituaries and learning about KPI metrics and circulation statistics. He was only 17, not even in college yet, and already staring down the barrel of the loaded gun that was his preordained destiny. Well, not yet; his finals were over and the car his parents were sending to get him didn't come until Saturday. That was two whole days of freedom…assuming they didn't get caught, in which case it could be two whole days behind bars at the Middlesex County jail.

"Did you have any trouble?" he asked.

"None," his accomplice answered. "Spencer's distraction went off without a hitch. As soon as Ms. Kiernan left the room, I grabbed them. They were right where you said they'd be." That was a relief. When Logan had been at the Dean's office for skipping class last week, someone had come in to inform his assistant the lights in his car had been left on. She'd taken it upon herself to pull open the top right drawer of her desk and pull out a key to go turn them off herself. A single, silver key on a non-descript key ring; a set up that screamed 'spare key.' One that was likely to stay in its place 99.99 percent of the time. That's when he'd started formulating the plan. And it was a solid plan. But there was always that 0.01% chance.

"Good." Logan looked out from under the cover of Maple trees budding with bright red helicopter seeds, across the expanse of neatly trimmed grass, to the large, Greek revival home that stood alone at the edge of campus. "The downstairs lights went off about thirty minutes ago, and I know Dean Eldon has an early meeting tomorrow, so he should be asleep."

"Spencer's meeting us there?"

"Spencer is in place and waiting." His friend had sent him a page ten minutes ago letting him know he'd arrived at the lake and was currently scouting the location for any horny co-eds getting a little action. But given that most of the school still had finals tomorrow, the likelihood of running into interference of that nature, was slim.

"What about the gate?"

"It's just for show," Logan assured him. He'd run past the Dean's house on his morning jog every day that week, and the lock had never once been secured. Of course, that was in the morning and this was the middle of the night. But Logan had made sure to get up with the sun well before anyone would have had a chance to go in or out of that gate. Besides, they were on the campus of one of the most elite prep schools in America. 90 percent of the students there had more money that God, and the other ten percent wouldn't dare risk their scholarships. And since there were already fences around the campus, no one from outside was getting in. The Dean had no reason to feel anything less than secure in his home. Of course, that was before Logan Huntzberger had arrived in town.

"So we're really doing this?"

"You having second thoughts?"

"No, I just…" There was a waiver in his voice.

"Because if you're having second thoughts…"

"I'm not!" Logan could hear the flex in his words. Carter was a good kid, but what he wanted was to be a cool kid. He'd glommed on to Logan early in the semester, and for the most part, Logan didn't mind. But he did feel a little guilty about how he was using his influence.

"Okay. I'm just saying, it's not too late to back out. Not that I couldn't do with the look out, but it's late enough that I'll probably be safe. So, you can always just hand me the key and go. I'll make sure to keep your name out of it."

"Like hell you will. You're not taking all the credit for the greatest prank in River's history."

"Okay." Logan's shrug was lost in the darkness. He wasn't looking to argue, he just wanted to make sure they were still on the same page. "Your walkie talkie on and working?"

"It's on."

"Great, so we'll do a quick sweep of the perimeter ending at the lookout point about 50 feet to the north." It wasn't really a perimeter so much as a line. The wooded area they were in extended about two hundred yards along the east end of the square. The Dean's house was at the north end, and on the other side of the house was the fence that separated Rivers from the outside world. Behind the house was Lake Rutherford, which was about to become the permanent home of Dean Eldon's precious 1999 MX-5 Miata. "That gives us the shortest distance between the woods and driveway. Once we've confirmed the coast is clear, I'll make a break for it."

"Why do you get to be the one to actually take the car again? I mean, I got the key."

"Because we have to cross a football field's length of open terrain and I'm the one that can run a four-and-a-half-minute mile," Logan reminded him, trying not to listen to the sudden appearance of his father's voice in his head reminding him that he'd been able to run a four-minute mile…and had placed at Nationals in high school and college. Logan could run a four-minute mile too, if he wanted…but he had better things to do with his time than spend every afternoon at track practice.

"Fine." His coconspirator harrumphed.

They stealthily made their way along the edge of the woods, keeping to the shadows of the New England arbor. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt nervous. It was probably just the aftereffects of the intrusive inner voice that sounded just like Mitchum. It wasn't like he was worried about getting caught. He could pull this off. And if for some reason he couldn't, what was the worst that would happen? He'd get expelled? So what? He'd been expelled from three other schools already. It hadn't made a difference; he was still going to Yale whether he liked it or not. He was still going to take over the company whether he liked it or not. Maybe if he got kicked out of every school, he'd have nowhere left to go and his father would finally give up on him; would finally believe that Logan wasn't meant to run a publishing company and leave him alone. But he knew that was nothing more than a fantasy. There was no way out for Logan; no way out of his future and no way out of Rivers…a school that was notorious for never expelling a soul.

The next few minutes flew by in a blur that Logan could barely remember. There was the muffled tread of his feet on sod, the steady pounding of his heart against his ribcage, the feeling of relief when he found the gate not only unlocked, but unlatched. He'd faltered for a second when said gate let out an unceremonious squeak as Logan swung it open just enough to be able to let the car out, but seconds later silent stillness settled in the air once again. The car was parked in the driveway under a carport, the 200-year-old home lacking an actual garage. The Miata was under a white cover. Logan quickly gathered it up, exposing the shiny red vehicle underneath.

As he sat in the driver's seat, he pushed away the nagging feeling that it had all gone a little too smoothly. He couldn't think about that yet; the hardest part wasn't over. He had to turn the car on and hope no one heard. But even then, the one slight slip up—the squeak of the gate—was actually a stoke of luck, because if someone were still up, they would have come out to check, or turned on a light or something, giving Logan a chance to slip away before it was too late.

Still, he held his breath as he turned the key in the ignition and the engine turned over. He wasted no time backing out of the driveway, through the open gate, and onto the private drive that led away from the house and to the road. He drove, lights off, no music, turning onto Winter Street and then making another quick left onto Milford which would lead him straight up to the lake where Spencer and Carter—who was supposed to cut through the path in the woods behind the house to get to the meetup location—would be waiting for him.

Logan's foot let up off the gas as his eyes strained to see the darkened road in front of him. The quiet was unnerving. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the moment never came and before he knew it, he was turning onto the dirt road that took him right to the shore.

He picked up the walkie talkie. "I'm here."

"Just a little farther." Spencer's voice reverberated through the device. Logan looked around until his eyes caught the dull flicker of Spencer's parking lights turning on. He guided the Miata to a stop right next to it on the beach and Spencer turned the lights back off again. Carter was standing next to the car with him…he'd made it.

"Holy shit, that gate was loud," Carter hissed. "I could hear it from the lookout spot. I thought for sure we were toast."

"Well, we weren't."

"Everything else went okay?" Spencer asked.

"Like cake," Logan replied smoothly despite the nagging feeling still in his chest.

'Great…let's finish this and get out of here." Spencer ducked into the car to put it into neutral, then came around to the back.

"Alright, so I guess we just…push?" Carter asked.

"That's the plan."

"Should someone, you know…be inside?"

"To steer?" Spencer replied. "I think we've got a big enough target that as long as we push in the general direction of the lake, we'll be fine."

"Alright boys," Logan said, shaking his arms like an Olympic swimmer getting ready to dive into his lane. "On the count of three. One..." They all crouched down behind the car. "Two." They rested their hands on the rear bumper. "Three." They started to push; shoving and heaving with all their might. It started slowly, the car rocking back and force with their effort until finally it budged. Still, they pushed harder as it started to roll, picking up speed on the slight downward gradient of the beach. By the time the front wheels hit the water, the car seemed to be moving on its own.

"Shit, we did it!" Carter cried out as the front end started to tilt at a deeper and deeper angle, pulling the rest of the car down with it so that the whole back of the Miata was sticking up like the goddamn Titanic.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Spencer said, starting to back away towards his car. But before they could make it, the sound of wheels on gravel drew their attention to the approaching headlights. The chirp of one of the campus security cars masquerading as a cop car cut through the air.

"Shit."

"Stop right there," a disembodied voice reverberated through the speaker as the car came to a stop. The passenger door swung open before the driver had even cut the engine and Dean Eldon, dressed in a terry cloth robe spilled out from the vehicle, running desperately towards the edge of the lake.

"Christine!" the administrator wailed, falling to his knees at the sight of his rapidly sinking sports car.

"He named his car Christine?" Spencer chuckled under his breath as the security guard got out of the squad car and made his way towards them.

"I mean, seriously," Logan responded. "You're just asking for trouble naming your car that."

"Alright boys, let's go," the security guard started ushering them towards his vehicle. "We've got some serious talking to do."

"What about him?" Logan pointed towards the hysterical man sobbing on the beach and made a face.

"Don't worry about him…" the guard bobbled his head, "actually, do worry about him. Once he stops crying, you're going to be in a world of trouble. Eldon loved that car more than his kid."

Logan threw one last glance over his shoulder to look at the Dean as he ducked his head and slid into the back seat of the security car with the others. He knew it had all been too easy. He knew the other shoe was going to drop. But beneath the worry and shame was the smallest glimmer of hope. Maybe there was a way out after all.

December 2005

"I'm her father."

"Like that means anything." Lorelai and Christopher's voices echoed down the hallway to greet him. Great, more people fighting. More people fighting over his and Rory's lives. It's not like he didn't know their families would try to make this all about them. And there was a part of him that realized that they had a right to be upset; he and Rory didn't exist in a vacuum, their actions affected others. But still, he was so goddamn tired of all the fighting. He was tired of everyone else making this all about them. He was tired of being treated like he and Rory and Samuel were just puppets in their play who somehow got off their strings. And, if he was entirely honest with himself, he was just a little tired of Rory letting them pull the strings.

"Look, I did my part" Christopher argued back. "I found her. I brought her back to you. But if you're not careful, you're going to wind up pushing her right away again. You know better than anyone how stubborn a Gilmore Girl can be. And how long they can freeze you out for. If you don't start showing her a little respect—showing Logan a little respect—you're going to lose her all over again. Is that what you want?" Logan felt the slightest twinge of…hope…maybe? Gratitude? Someone was actually on their side. Sure, Richard had defended Logan to his father and offered support, but he knew there were expectations associated with that support—marriage, success, familial obligation. Christopher though, maybe he was actually just plain on their side. Maybe Logan had chosen right when he'd made the decision to appeal to Rory's father in the waiting room the other day.

"Oh my god, you're on his side now?" Apparently Lorelai was not as pleased with this revelation as Logan was. No surprise there.

"She's in love with him, Lorelai. And he's the father of our grandson." Despite everything, Logan felt his chest puff out slightly at the declaration. If Christopher could see it, maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn't just fear or desperation or hormones making Rory reconsider letting him be a part of their lives. Because for as much as Logan wanted to believe that she really wanted them to be a family, he couldn't help the tiny niggling seed of doubt. After all, it wasn't like she had called him like she'd promised. She hadn't said she wanted him in their lives until she was in the hospital facing a major medical crisis and the family she'd been avoiding for months. And then there was the look in her eyes ever since her mother walked in and started making plans to move her back to Stars Hollow…that look that just wanted to let go and let someone else take control. Which made sense; she'd been just barely holding it together for so long. She'd had to stay strong for so long, take care of everything on her own for so long. It had to be exhausting. He couldn't blame her for falling apart. The thing was, he was ashamed to admit, he was jealous that it was Lorelai's arms she was falling apart in and not his.

"He ruined her life." Logan bristled at the accusation Lorelai hurled as he turned the corner to finally see the two adults standing outside Rory's room. Rory's mother was leaned in antagonistically as Christopher stood there, tense, but composed. "He's ruining his own life, and he's going to just keep dragging her down with him." Logan could just barely sense Jo beside him as she placed a comforting hand on his arm. He wasn't a drain on Rory, was he? Now that he had no money? No place to live? Was he just being selfish wanting to be with her and Samuel? Would they be better off if he walked away…at least for a while. At least until he got his own shit together? He couldn't listen to any more of this.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat to alert them to his presence. Christopher's gaze shifted from its position locked on Lorelai to glance at Logan, giving him a sheepish look. Lorelai's back went straight, detecting the threat from behind. Or at least what she perceived as a threat, he was sure. But he didn't want to be. Despite it all, he wanted them to get along. Whatever Rory chose to do after the baby was born, Lorelai was Rory's mother, Samuel's grandmother. His son had already lost two grandparents today, he didn't need to lose anymore.

Lorelai turned around to face him, her eyes narrowed in anger, her lips pulled back into a sneer. "Congratulations, looks like you won," she spat.

Logan stood motionless for a minute, as Lorelai took off down the hall. His eyes darted from Lorelai to Christopher, hoping to get some inkling of an idea of what to do. Christopher looked at him sympathetically. "She just needs to calm down," he told Logan. "She'll come around eventually." But Logan didn't believe that. Lorelai was stubborn, Rory hadn't gotten that trait from nowhere.

"Lorelai, wait," he called out as he dropped the duffle bag full of Rory's things he was carrying and went chasing after her. "Lorelai, please, can we just talk for a minute?" She kept walking, but her heels were a hinderance in her attempts at a quick getaway and he easily caught up to her. "Lorelai," he repeated as he cut in front of her, preventing any further escape.

"Go back to your girlfriend, Logan," she sneered.

"You can't just leave."

"Why not?" Lorelai shrugged. "Rory did. She just packed up her things and left." Her hand swooped dismissively outward. "She didn't give a shit about me or her grandparents or anyone. So why should I give a shit?"

Logan wished he could say he was shocked to hear her say these things, but he wasn't. He'd learned over the summer when they were looking for Rory that Lorelai could lash out with the best of them when she felt threatened and insecure. But still, her daughter was here…in the hospital, hurting and upset and the woman couldn't put her ego aside. "You're her mother. She needs you."

Lorelai scoffed; a breathy dismissive laugh. "She doesn't need me. Not when she has you; her big, strong, white knight to swoop in and save the day. And her father, of course, who all of a sudden after twenty-one years decided now he wants to act like one."

"So what? You're just going to abandon her here in the hospital because she's not reverent enough for you? Because you're not the only important person in her life anymore? God forbid you have to share her?" Logan spat.

"That's rich coming from you, Kid."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He was here. He was standing by her side. He was chasing after her mother begging her to stay. He just wanted what was best for Rory.

"Oh come on, you may have Christopher and my parents fooled with your Mr. Perfect act, but let's not pretend any of this is for Rory."

"This is all for Rory." He swept out his hands. "And Samuel. They're all that matters. I'd do anything for them. I'd give up everything for them…I have given up everything for them." What more did he have to do to prove himself? To prove that he was in this for the long haul? To prove to Rory's mother that he loved her.

"Please," Lorelai rolled her eyes. "You frame this as some big sacrifice on your part, but it's not a sacrifice to give up what you don't want. Rory and Sam are nothing but an escape to you. The opportunity you needed to walk away from a life you didn't have the moxie to walk away from on your own. You just want to keep them here in your secluded, little bubble. You think this is all just some grand adventure like your stupid Life and Death Brigade? It's not. Raising a kid is hard work, and at the end of the day, they can just as easily as not, turn around and spit in the face of everything you did for them."

"Maybe if you hadn't tried to force her to be who you wanted her to be, and accepted her for who she was, you wouldn't be standing here with spit in your face," Logan rebuked. "And I know this isn't an adventure. I know raising a kid is going to be hard. This isn't a game to me."

"Really?" Lorelai looked at him skeptically? "Then why didn't you tell anyone where she was? Why didn't you get her the help she needed?"

"She didn't want me to!" Logan defended, throwing his hands up in the air. How many times was he going to have to explain himself? "She wasn't ready to face you and I didn't want her to just up and disappear again. But I told her to tell you. I told her to go home. And in the meantime, I made sure she had the help she needed."

"And you loved every minute of it," Lorelai sneered. "Being her big, strong protector. Holing up in some fancy hotel room. Living in your little, Boston bubble. Just the two of you together, imagining some fairytale life where you were free of your parents and your forced future as newspaper overlord. You loved it. And yeah, maybe you made some half-hearted suggestions that she should tell her family, but secretly, you never wanted her to, because if we knew, then your family would know. And then you'd actually have to face your father and either give in to the life he wanted for you or give up all those perks you'd gotten so used to. You didn't give up anything until your cover was blown; and you didn't give it up for Rory, you gave it up for you. Only now, if you regret it, you don't have to take responsibility for it…you can pin it all on her."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Logan contested, but he could sense his words were lacking conviction as an all too familiar swell of shame bubbled up inside his chest. Did she know what she was talking about after all? Just how hard had he tried to get Rory to go home? To tell her family? How hard had he pushed her to talk about the future, or make a plan while he concocted this whole life for them in his head?

If he was honest with himself, he hadn't wanted to think about the future; not in any real meaningful way. He'd been standing on the edge; the precipice. They were on the top of that scaffolding, belts tied around their waists, looking down at the world from above. It was an unending forest of possibilities. Only, for as exciting as the thought of the jump was, this time, he hadn't taken the leap; he'd had to be pushed. Because there, standing on the top of the world with her, life was full of possibility and hope. But once he actually jumped, the possibility went away, and all he was left with was the reality.

It really was a once in a lifetime experience. But the consequences…those would last a lifetime.

And he wasn't ready for those consequences. True, he hadn't wanted the life that was conscripted for him, but he'd never had the courage to do anything about it before. And he'd finally seen a way out, by taking Rory's hand and jumping. But still, he'd hesitated…stood on the brink for as long as possible and waited for Rory to either jump or fall…and pull him with her. So, was Lorelai right? Was this really all just for him? Was Rory nothing more than justification for stepping off that ledge? No! Rory wasn't just an excuse; she was the reason. He loved her and he wanted to be with her. And he wouldn't put her or their son through the hell that was being a Huntzberger. It was one thing to put up with it himself, but he had a family to think about now.

"Just go back to Rory," Lorelai said. "You won. She chose you. She wants nothing to do with me unless I get all 'rah rah sis boom bah' for team Logan. You got what you wanted…she's all yours."

There was nothing left to say…for either of them. Logan stood silently as he watched her walk away. And then, he turned and headed back to Rory's room. He heard a laugh as he approached the door—Rory's laugh. But he could tell, even from outside the room that it was forced.

"What's so funny?" he asked as he walked in.

"Jo was just telling me about this funny thing her genetics TA did."

"It wasn't that funny," Jo brushed it off. She could clearly sense that Rory's laugh wasn't sincere either and was trying to give her cover to not have to talk about what was really going on. But Logan needed her to talk about it. He gave Jo a polite smile before turning to his girlfriend.

"Can we talk?"

"Oh, umm…" she looked nervously from Jo to her father.

"You know, I'm kind of hungry," Christopher spoke up. "I'm gonna go grab something from the cafeteria."

"Oh, yeah, right…I could go for some food too."

Logan waited until they'd left the room before taking a seat in the chair next to Rory. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm eight months pregnant, in the hospital, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and Mom, who was my best friend for 21 years, just basically abandoned me for the second time. So, yeah, I'm dandy."

"What happened?" He could sort of piece some of it together from what had gone down in the hall, but he needed the details. And he needed to hear them from her. He hated that he felt like he needed anything from her when she was already going through so much. But he did.

"I just couldn't take it anymore, the way she was treating you…and me—us. She thinks I'm broken. She thinks being pregnant makes me broken. And she thinks you're the one who broke me. It's like she's Al McWhiggin and I'm Woody and she wants to fix me and sit me on a shelf where no one else can play with me."

"Does that make me Andy? Because if you're worried I'm going to outgrow you, that's never going to happen."

Rory gave a chuckle, thin and fragile, but sincere. "I love that you get my random movie references."

To be honest, he was a little embarrassed that he had gotten the reference. He'd die before letting his friends know he had watched a kids move that came out when he was in high school. But then again, he had wanted to grow up to be a cowboy when he was a kid. "Ace," he replied, his voice serious despite his use of her nickname, "I don't want you to fight with your Mom over me. She's your Mom, and you love her. And you need her. I can deal with her not liking me." He wouldn't sit her on a shelf. He wouldn't keep her in a bubble. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to break the bubble before, but it was broken now and she was free. Free to do whatever she wanted…live wherever she wanted…surround herself with whoever she wanted. He wouldn't stand in the way of that.

"Logan, no." she grabbed his hand, entwining her fingers with his and giving it a squeeze. "We're a family…remember? I know I got a little…lost there for a minute. I let her take over because…" she let out a sigh as she tried to psychoanalyze herself. "Because I was scared, and exhausted, and because it's what I've always done. And because I love her and want to make her happy."

"But where are you going to stay?" he asked. If nothing else, figuring things out with Lorelai was practical. As loathe as he was to admit it, they needed help. "I don't even know if I have a place to live myself right now."

"I'm going to stay at Dad's." So that's what Lorelai meant about Christopher suddenly deciding to act like a father.

They were quiet for a few minutes. "Are you okay?" She sounded more steady and sure of this than she had of anything since he'd found her in the bookstore two months ago, but he was still worried. He didn't want her to make any decisions she'd regret. Not for him. He wouldn't be that person…that person that Lorelai said he was. The one that he was worried he was. He wouldn't be that person that blew up Rory's life just to justify blowing up his own.

"No," she shook her head.

"Okay, well then…"

"But I have to do it," she interrupted his protests. "I've spent my entire life just trying not to disappoint her. Trying to be who she wants me to be and running away rather than letting her know I'm not. But it's time I made my own choices. And I choose you. If she loves me, she's just going to have to accept that." That was a sentiment that Logan could relate to.

AN: Cue the Lorelai hate, I know. But even Logan needed to face that she had some valid points. Because Lorelai and him in the end, are a lot alike. She knows what it's like to be in that position...looking for an escape from a life you don't want and then suddenly there's Rory, a great, shining beacon of hope...a way out. So maybe there's a little projection there. Because she's always subconsciously pressured Rory to make it all worth it. And now she sees Logan using Rory as an excuse to walk away from his life...the life he's been looking for a way out of for forever. So yeah, I know we all hate Lorelai, but she has her reasons for feeling the way she does, even if she doesn't act on them appropriately. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the update, let me know what you think.