CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Welcome back everyone, it's Monday night and my back is SORE! I spent the weekend in Indianapolis, sleeping on a fold out couch, so pray for my poor back, hope she recovers lol. The Indianapolis 500 was fantastic, I had a ton of fun, I hope some of you tuned in and watched it too. The reason i'm posting it tonight instead of tomorrow is that i'm just too exhausted to stay up tonight. This is a one off, next week will return to scheduled programming lol. I hope all of you enjoyed the holiday, it's important that we all stop and remember those that gave the last full measure of devotion in service of this great nation. We wouldn't be free without their sacrifice, so it's important to take a moment to remember them this Memorial Day.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: A big thanks to my wonderful friend and beta reader Nev Rawlins, AKA nevr, he's slogged his way through my insanely long chapters for five months now as i've worked on this second story arc. I could not have done this without him and his feedback. Thank you Nev, this is only possible because of your persistence and encouragement!

Desire

A Story by

CharmingCharles2896

Chapter Inspired by the Song

Come Undone by Duran Duran

Chapter Seventeen

Sex, Bullets, & Bad Guys

Buy More, Nerd Herd Desk

Burbank, California

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

6:03 PM PST

Morgan Grimes was a man with simple tastes. He wanted a Grape Nehi from the vending machine in the break room before he went on his lunch break, and some time with his main man Chuck. That was all he wanted on his lunch break. Of course, all thoughts of Grape Nehi vanished when the stunning Sarah Walker strutted past him on her way towards the front door. The rumors that she was going to be the new Ass Man, or woman as it were, had swept through the store like wild fire. Most of the employees were skeptical, all except Lester, who was terrified and actually broke down into tears as he relayed his horror at the news. Morgan had never even known that the ever-delectable yogurt goddess was qualified to be the assistant manager of a Buy More, but according to Jeffster and their laser microphone, she had a degree from Harvard and was married to Chuck! Morgan wanted answers from Chuck about why he was the last one to learn about his marrying Sarah.

Chuck was in his element in the cage, working on an impossible rebuild that Morgan knew Chuck would magically pull off like he always did. Morgan knew that meant Chuck was not to be disturbed unless the world was ending and even then, it had better be the end times. As he watched Sarah leave, she didn't walk towards any car, instead she walked towards the, as far as he knew, closed Orange Orange. Morgan was fascinated by Sarah's actions, so he did the only logical choice… he followed her. When Sarah disappeared inside the closed fro-yo establishment, Morgan quickened his pace.

Sarah was feeling pretty good, she'd just teased her husband within an inch of his life and filled his head with all kinds of steamy memories that the Intersect wouldn't allow him to forget. Nope, that security cam footage of her and Carina up on that stage, galivanting around on that pole, wearing school girl costumes and covered in excessive amounts of baby oil, would be burned into her husband's memory forever. Who knows, maybe she could recreate that for his birthday someday, once she was no longer pregnant. On top of teasing Chuck, which was always welcome, she'd absolutely rocked that interview. Sarah Bartowski was the new Assistant Manager for the Burbank Buy More, may Beverly Hills Branch tremble in fear.

She had to admit, she was a little surprised by how proud she was of the fact that she had nailed that interview. Sarah had never held what was commonly referred to as a "private sector job." She'd gone from high school, to college, straight into the CIA. In that respect, this was really her first job. Her stint at the Wienerlicious and the Double O didn't count, because that was for the cover, that was government work. While this was also for the cover, she had less of a practical role in Chuck's detail, instead working in the Buy More simply as back up. Because of that, this really did feel like her new job, like her CIA job was her second job now, and maybe it was, now that she was retired from field work. It was surreal thinking about it like that, but it was rather accurate. As soon as Team Intersect ended, Sarah's job as the Buy More Assistant Manager would continue, whereas Nora Rogers' and John Casey's jobs would likely change to another assignment, though she could see Casey retiring, he was getting a bit long in the tooth for field work.

Sarah was snapped out of her musings by the sound of the door opening behind her, she could have sworn that she'd locked that door, but apparently, she hadn't, whoops. When she heard Morgan Grimes clear his throat, likely to grab her attention, she grimaced internally, she should have known this conversation was inevitable. There was no way she could avoid this confrontation with Chuck's best friend. "Sarah," came Morgan's voice, without much of the pep that it used to carry. Sarah turned around to face him and met his eye. She could see a myriad of emotions on his face, chief among them, confusion, anger, betrayal, and surprisingly fear.

"Hello, Morgan, I knew it was only a matter of time before we'd find ourselves having this conversation." That seemed to snap the bearded nerd out of his revere; he took a few steps closer to her.

"I don't exactly know what to call you, Sarah." She looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do I call you Sarah Walker or Sarah Bartowski?" Sarah's eyes opened wide as she drew back in mild anxiety. "Or better yet, do I call you Agent Walker?" Sarah paled. "The way I see it, you have so many names these days, I'm having trouble understanding which part of you is real and which parts aren't. Considering you just married my main man Chuck, and didn't tell me, he obviously trusts you again, but I don't know if he should." She'd never seen this from Morgan, she'd never seen this level of maturity and… anger, from him.

"Morgan," Sarah began.

"You destroyed him, Sarah! Worse than Jill ever did. He stopped living; Ellie, Anna, and I feared he was going to kill himself." Morgan seemed to stop to collect himself, but only laughed to himself instead. "The guy always stuck up for you, which pissed Ellie and I off to no end. Here he was, dying inside, and still he was sticking up for the woman who'd hurt him worse than Jill." Sarah looked away emotionally, she knew Morgan lacked information, but his words still carried weight because of how much he cared about Chuck.

"I'm very lucky to have him back in my life, Morgan, but there is a lot you don't know," she began quietly, hoping she could mend this particular fence.

"Then please enlighten me, because I'm getting pretty tired of being the last one to find out that my best friend got married." Sarah felt bad about how much that apparently hurt Morgan's feelings.

"I'm sorry about that, Morgan, we were going to tell everyone at that party Ellie is throwing tomorrow." Morgan simply nodded, the hurt in his eyes seeming to lessen. "There are things you don't know, things that make the last six weeks make more sense." Morgan nodded again. "If you're calling me Agent Walker, then I am assuming someone at the Buy More listened in on my job interview and heard some things out of context."

"Jeff and Lester used Jeff's laser microphone to listen in, they heard some stuff about classified government work and some things from the last two years made more sense, like the Porsche you drive." Internally, Sarah cursed, she was going to have to deal with Jeff and Lester, they posed a security threat.

"I'm not even going to ask how they got a three-thousand-dollar laser microphone," Sarah said as she shook her head, Morgan shook his head as well. "Here's the truth, Morgan, and you cannot tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." Morgan's eyes opened wide as he realized that Sarah was about to tell him her secret. "I'm serious, Morgan, you can't tell anyone, there are a lot of people out there who'd love to hurt the people that I love the most, so keep what you're about to hear to yourself." Morgan nodded quickly.

"Absolutely, Sarah, I won't tell a soul." Sarah didn't believe that for a second, but she pressed on anyway.

"From two-thousand and two until last week, I was an employee of the United States Government. Officially, I was listed as an Operations Coordinator for the Department of Defense. In reality, I was an employee of the Central Intelligence Agency." Now was the part Sarah hated, now she had to lie to someone she considered part of her family. "I was really good at my job, many would say the best at my job, but I made a mistake in two-thousand and seven that put me on an indefinite suspension. Thinking my career was over, I moved to LA for a fresh start."

"And you met Chuck," Morgan said breathlessly, Sarah nodded.

"Yes I did, he was unlike any man I'd ever seen; disarmingly handsome, exceedingly charming, but not overwhelmingly so, and simply the nicest person I had ever met. Chuck changed everything; suddenly I didn't care that I was suspended. I stayed here in Burbank and got a mundane normal job simply to be near him, because he made me feel loved and wanted." Morgan could see the love in Sarah's eyes; he'd never seen that in her eyes before, at least not this openly. It was clear that something was different about her, he just wondered what.

"Then why did you leave? Chuck was a mess." Sarah nodded and blinked away a few tears.

"My boss back in Langley reactivated me and recalled me to Washington. I was torn between the only real job I'd ever had, or the most wonderful man I'd ever known. At the time, the idea of leaving the CIA was terrifying, I couldn't be a normal woman, I struggled not to burn corndogs, how could I be expected to hold down a regular job? I decided I had to go back… to say that it broke both of our hearts would be an understatement. Chuck and I both cried the night I left, but at the time I thought it was best. We'd been having problems because of my emotional issues and my unwillingness to completely let him in. A CIA Agent always wants to keep a certain distance so they can disappear in a hurry. I wasn't being fair to Chuck, or any of you by trying to be in your lives, without letting any of you know me. I left and returned to DC, but as soon as I got on the plane, I knew I'd made a mistake. Without Chuck I'm just a spy, and now that I'd left him like his parents and Jill, I was certain that I couldn't go back." Sarah knew that the story was lies, but the emotions behind it were decidedly real and she was feeling them.

"How could he ever trust me after I left so easily? Would he always wonder if I'd change my mind again? I knew that I'd made a mistake, because now there was no way Chuck would ever be able to trust me not to leave, no matter how many times I told him otherwise." Sarah could see how much this story was affecting Morgan, part of her felt bad about that, she was certainly manipulating him, but only a bit, and it was for a good reason.

"To say that things didn't go well with the CIA would be an understatement, I was not my old self, Chuck had changed me. I was quickly demoted after another failure. This last weekend, I was given an assignment here in LA, up in Beverly Hills. The temptation to go see Chuck was overwhelming, but I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't just drop in for a few days and then leave again, it wouldn't be fair. I was at a party, Friday night, and I ran into Chuck. I have no idea why he was there, but seeing him again… it all just clicked. Nothing was more important to me than that man, nothing, and I finally understood that. Leaving him for my stupid job, a job I hated, was the worst decision I have ever made and I am going to spend the rest of my life proving to my husband that he made the correct decision in loving a person like me." Sarah went in search of a napkin as she felt a tear fall, she knew it would ruin her makeup, but the damage was done. Morgan was stunned, Chuck had been right all along, she hadn't wanted to leave.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," Morgan began, emotion clearly present in his voice.

"What for?" Morgan looked over at her and he gave her a contrite look.

"I've said some awful things about you in the last six weeks, trying to get Chuck to move on and forget about you. I didn't believe you actually cared, because who could claim to love someone and then just leave them? Now to hear this awful story about the two of you, I feel like such an ass and I'm truly sorry." Sarah gave Morgan a small smile.

"You love him just as much as I do, you saw Jill happening all over again, I don't blame you for trying to help him. Thankfully it's in the past now, and Chuck and I are happily married." Morgan gave her a big smile.

"About that, does Ellie know that you two eloped, because she had big plans for his wedding when she was younger?" Morgan asked with a smile on his face. Sarah chuckled and nodded.

"The first person I talked to was Ellie, I had to make things right with her, because I just couldn't stand the thought of coming between Chuck and Ellie. I never had siblings as a child, but I always yearned for that bond with another person, I didn't want him to lose that, so I went to her and made it right. I know I should have done the same with you, I'm sorry." Morgan shook his head and surprisingly pulled Sarah in for a quick hug.

"Don't worry about it, best friend-in-law. We are good, so long as you love my man Chuck and never do that to him again." Sarah chuckled at his term for their relationship, Sarah was ninety-eight percent sure that best friend-in-laws didn't exist, but this was Morgantown and you had to just let the sensations wash over you.

"That I promise," Sarah said. Morgan saw her body language change and he anticipated a change in subject, sure enough he was correct when he heard what Sarah said next. "I just got the job as Assistant Manager, I know I'll be able to count on Chuck, Casey, and Mike as allies, but can I count on you to support me as well? I know you're one to avoid work, no disrespect," she said trying not to insult him. "I'm going to demand more effort from you than previous regimes did, but any allies I can get early on would be very beneficial." Morgan smiled a big smile, which Sarah reciprocated.

"As long as you're better than Emmitt or Harry Tang, you can count on me all the way, Sarah. Like I'm not going to back up my main man's wife! You're family now, of course I'm in your corner. Nobody knows how to work with the idiots in that store like me; so yes, you can count on me." Sarah smiled gratefully to Morgan.

"Thank you, Morgan, you should probably get going, you're wasting your lunch break." Morgan nodded and went to the door to leave, but he turned back to her, curious.

"Why are you in here anyway?"

"I'm watching the place for the owner until he gets back in town this weekend, he has no employees at the moment, so I'm doing him a favor." Morgan seemed to buy that and left. Once Morgan was gone, Sarah let go of the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. One crisis averted and one ally gained for her new job. It was a small relief knowing that things were going to be okay between her and Morgan, he was Chuck's best friend after all. The more allies Sarah could accumulate, the easier her start at the Buy More would be. With Chuck being Nerd Herd supervisor and Sarah's plan to promote Casey to Green Shirt Supervisor, Sarah knew she had two people she could rely on no matter what. To Sarah, that was indispensable.

~X~

Maison23

Burbank, California

Friday, May 15th, 2009

12:05 AM PST

It was late, and it most certainly had been a long day, but for Chuck and Sarah Bartowski, neither of them was feeling particularly tired. They'd gone down to the LA field office to collect Sarah's Porsche and to look at her stuff in the storage unit. They'd grabbed a few things from a few boxes and stuffed them in both the Nerd Herder and her Porsche and promised to return over the weekend to go through more of it. It became clearly apparent that they needed an apartment with a real closet and real storage, because neither of them had enough clothes to live, and running around all the time was getting old. After they'd collected all of Sarah's fledgling nerd collection and some more clothes, some of which she'd kept hidden from Chuck, they drove to the store to grab something to heat in the microwave back at the room.

When they arrived at their room, Sarah quickly ran off to deposit her things, some of them where Chuck wouldn't see them, so she could save them for a rainy day. Chuck made their dinner in the microwave and the two of them enjoyed it in companionable silence on the couch. Sarah could sense that there was something on her husband's mind and she had an idea what it was, but she'd let him bring it up, if he wanted to talk about it, that is. Chuck wasn't sure if he even wanted to broach the subject, the memories now burned into his brain by the Intersect were so great, he didn't know if he wanted to learn about the dark underbelly of spying, but another part of him felt like he had to know. After Sarah had left him there in the cage, he'd felt like a pig for objectifying her like that, she was more than a sex object.

Sarah saw a change in Chuck's body language, he'd made a decision, he was going to ask because he felt guilty. Her husband was too good for this world; she'd told him those things to arouse him and he felt bad about it… talk about too good to be true.

"It's alright to ask, Chuck, I won't get mad, I promise." Chuck merely blushed, now aware how transparent his inner turmoil had been. Chuck nodded to himself and cleared his throat. Sarah sat up straighter on the couch next to her husband, intent to pay him as much respect while he spoke as possible, she knew he was sometimes uncomfortable talking about the less savory aspects of the spy game.

"About today…" Sarah simply nodded. "Your time with the CATS as you called them, what uh, what's the uh…" Sarah simply gave his forearm a squeeze so he'd look at her, she gave him a caring smile once he did and spoke.

"That's okay, I know what you're asking." Sarah saw the small, but thankful look on Chuck's face as she spoke. "I started as a spy in two-thousand and two. My first assignment was a long-term deep cover op inside the Secret Service. Graham sent me inside the Secret Service to flush out a suspected Russian Double agent. That year was a fun learning experience and was highly successful and finding a number of spies and moles. After that, Graham gave me my red test in January of two-thousand and three."

"Eve," Chuck said quietly, Sarah simply nodded and continued.

"Yes," she said as she looked away for a moment. "After that I worked exclusively as an assassin, I was Langston Graham's personal attack dog, which is why I gained the nickname, The Enforcer." Chuck nodded. "The problem is, I am not really cut out to be a killer, you've seen this for yourself this week. I tend to self-flagellate and punish myself self-destructively after successful hits. If I didn't do that, I had other unhealthy means of burying the festering emotional pain that was building up deep inside of me. Still, the entire time I was ice cold on the outside. Graham saw that I was starting to lose it and he assigned me to the CATS. It is important to understand the culture cultivated by Langston Graham and his generation of CIA types. To Langston Graham, anything was on the table if it got results, up to and including seduction. Of course, this was an unspoken thing. In more practical terms, this meant that women were taught that using their bodies as weapons was acceptable behavior and something to be casual about." Chuck was starting to understand what Sarah was saying, but he stayed quiet, sure there was more coming. Sarah was appreciative when Chuck didn't speak, she had more to say, and if he started in with his questions then she'd lose it and they'd never finish this.

"There were four of us on the CATS, Carina Miller, Zondra Rizzo, Amy Johansson, and myself, I was by far the youngest of the group, I was only twenty-two at the time. We had a very different team culture compared to the one you see here in Burbank. We were sex, drugs, and rock & roll, but it was bullets and bad guys in place of drugs and rock & roll. We worked hard and partied harder, we partied so damn much." The way she said it, made it sound almost wistful yet regretful.

"I thought you've always been a book worm?" Chuck asked in obvious confusion. Sarah gave Chuck a smile, happy he'd listened back in Vegas.

"I am, by my nature, but that was only when we had off time. After missions, we were too cranked up to be still. If we weren't knocking back tequila shots and grinding on hot guys, we would have time to think about the fucked-up shit we'd just done. It was a very self-destructive lifestyle, but it got insanely effective results. Sex was so casual to us back then that it wasn't uncommon for us to swap stories, hell Carina and I swapped guys a few times." Sarah could see the shocked and borderline horrified look on her husband's face and she couldn't help but smile a small smile at his innocence. "I was not the woman you fell in love with Chuck, that person was still a long way off. When I was on the CATS, I was an adult on my own for the first time, able to do what I wanted, drink what I wanted, fuck who I wanted, take whatever drugs I wanted, I was rebelling and it wasn't sustainable." Chuck nodded silently.

"So, Berlin?" Chuck asked, trying to pivot subtly and failing, though she'd let him have this one. Sarah nodded and refocused on the original topic.

"The thing to remember is that it is illegal to order a federal employee to have sex or engage in sexual activity. This was true back then, it's true now; but that didn't stop agents from doing it. If a mission might require activity like that, your superiors would give you an order, but qualify it by saying that you could achieve your mission objectives in whatever way best achieves the mission objectives. This was the silent wink that sexual activity was on the table and it was up to the agent or agents to decide if that was pertinent. Me personally, I've never gone anywhere close to all the way with a man, I've gotten cozy, but never all the way. Carina has gone all the way, as did Amy, but that was just something Zondra and I couldn't stomach, it just felt wrong. That being said, I've gone much farther with women, but I'll save those stories for rainy days," Sarah finished with a wink and a saucy smile that made Chuck blush. Sarah chuckled and leaned over to give Chuck a kiss.

"The four of us had no problem with getting freaky on a mission together. Zondra is gay, so she was always down," Sarah said with a chuckle. "Me personally, I usually did that sort of thing with Carina, I trusted her not to go too far." Sarah saw the confused look on Chuck's face and realized he didn't know about Carina's past like Sarah did. "Carina was sexually abused as a child, so consent and limits during sex is kind of a big thing with her. She has a tendency to wing it on missions, but when sexual activity is involved, she doesn't go off script… ever. If you're trusting her not to cross a specific line, she won't do it, unless a literal gun is pointed at her head, I felt safest doing that stuff with her."

"Hence Berlin," Chuck said, now understanding. Sarah nodded, pleased that Chuck was taking this so well.

"Exactly, she knew that I wasn't experienced with women, so she knew not to press her knowledge advantage and do anything that would be outside my comfort zone, we'd had talks about it beforehand." Chuck smiled and pulled her in for a hug, Sarah snuggling into his left side.

"That gives me a newfound respect for Carina," Chuck said honestly, Sarah nodded.

"She was like my big sister on that team, she really helped me become a better agent, taught me a lot of things that have kept me alive in the years since." Chuck just hugged Sarah tighter.

"So how long were the CATS together?" Chuck asked innocently, not noticing his wife's facial expression fall. When he got nothing but silence, he looked down at Sarah and saw her glum mood. "Sarah?"

"February of two-thousand and five, we were on a mission to arrest Augusto Gaez, but we couldn't seem to catch up to him. Eventually I found a recording device in our equipment, more specifically Zondra's equipment, I made an accusation, she denied it, we came to blows, Carina broke it up. At that point Amy revealed that she was the traitor, she shot Zondra in the ribs, glancing blow. I drew on Amy and killed her; after that, we saved Zondra and I went out alone and went after Gaez. I slit his throat with one of the very knives in my holster I wear every day. When I returned to Walter Reed, the damage had been done, Zondra hated me, Carina was hurt that Amy, a woman she'd gone to the farm with, had been a traitor. To say the trust was gone, would be putting it lightly, I was pulled out by Graham and partnered up with a male partner, our cover was a married couple.

"The Andersons," Chuck breathed, Sarah simply nodded and sniffled.

"Zondra was my best friend in the whole world, her and I used to do everything together, like you and Morgan. I haven't spoken to her since that day at Walter Reed, no matter how many times I've called. I learned a valuable lesson from that… don't make friends, don't let people in, don't feel too much. That made Bryce and I work, he was only interested in a relationship to the extent that we were having frequent post mission sex, other than that, we might as well have been strangers who worked together. I didn't trust people again until I met you," Sarah said as she looked up at her husband, who's eyes reflected emotion of their own. That was the amazing thing about her husband, he felt her pain whenever she hurt, just like she felt his.

"I'm glad you trusted me, Sarah," Chuck said softly, love in his eyes.

"Easiest decision I ever made," Sarah said moments before their lips met in loving passion, their tongues danced and fueled a kiss to remind the other how much they meant to each other. When they pulled apart, Sarah scooted up into Chuck's lap and kissed his neck, her usual first move when she was feeling frisky.

"Still up for some fun tonight, or has it been too long of a day?" she whispered into his ear. The feeling of his fingers on her upper thigh told her in no uncertain terms that he was indeed game for some fun.

"Don't start something you're not willing to finish, Mrs. Bartowski. I'm game if you are, but nobody likes a tease," he said to her in a voice he'd developed in a fashion since they'd begun their sexual relationship. Chuck knew it always got her motor running when he spoke to her like that and sure enough, she practically came alive in his arms.

"Speak for yourself, Nerd, Momma's on fire over here and all I'm getting is talk, talk, talk." Chuck huffed a laugh and picked her up in his arms as he stood, Sarah yelping in shock at his sudden strength. She continued kissing his neck and jaw line as he carried her to their bed and placed her down on top of the comforter. As Sarah felt Chuck's presence on top of her, she could feel his warm breath on her ear.

"Remember, I'm not the one who got their spouse all hot and bothered and walked away, leaving them horny at work with nothing to do about it for hours and hours. You have no room to complain about talk, talk, talk; I'm the one who's a man of action here." Sarah simply smirked at her husband; he was getting into the banter.

"Well, if you're such a man of action, then why don't you get to work already?" Chuck smiled and dove in.

"As you wish…" both of them were very action oriented that night.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: So I wanted to give a grounded, but unique twist to the spy life in Desire. I figure, everyone's got a past and Sarah is no different. Too many fans think of Sarah as this pure, white, flower that has never done things some consider wrong. Me personally, I think that's bullshit. Sarah is the daughter of a conman. She scammed innocent people out of their hard earned money (the salvation army scam and all that.) Then she became a spy and we know the world that the show set itself in. She has to have done some shady shit during hr career. For me personally, I made that an aspect of the lifestyle she lived with the CATS. Sarah wasn't a pure, virginal, little flower. She was just as wild as Carina was, which is hinted at in the show BTW. My Sarah had a rough upbringing, and then she was twisted and turned into a killer by Langston Graham, it's no wonder that she rebelled and acted out. That's my justification for Sarah's past in Desire, just to get that out there before some of you flame me. Next week is the long awaited first meeting between Team Intersect and Nora Rogers, I promise! I know that much like the first arc, I've delayed the meeting. I promise this is the last time this happens... maybe.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE#4: So, what does everyone think of Sarah's time with the CATS? I wanted to conclude the whole Augusto Gaez thing, so I could use Zondra and Carina and all of that in future arcs. Yes that was a hint, so look forward to some of them in future story arcs. If ou enjoyed this latest chapter, please consider leaving a review, I really appreciate them.

Until Next Time :D