Raindrops
0o0o0o
"Don't touch me," Severus hissed at Neasa, too caught up in a hurricane of his own emotions to think twice before he stormed out of the kitchen and bolted down the hallway of Grimmauld Place.
When he was outside he slammed the front door as hard as he could and kept walking, quickening his pace when he reached the footpath – he only then registered that it was pouring down with hailstones. He felt the drops pelting his head, bouncing off his clothes – the ice cracked under his shoes.
"Severus!" a faraway voice called – Neasa. "Wait!"
As if daring her to catch up with him he walked even faster, ready to Disapparate at any moment – but she was too quick: she Apparated right in front of him, forcing him to stop.
"Listen to me," she demanded, straining her voice over the sound of the hail. He tried to walk around her but she grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to face her.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice failing him with emotion. He tried to push it down, but for Neasa it was no good.
"It's not what you think," she began. He scoffed, and she repeated: "It's not."
The hailstones continued to fall heavily, and Neasa dropped her right hand from Severus's shoulder and took out her wand. She pointed it to the sky and conjured a translucent umbrella, shielding them from the ice.
"Let go of me–"
"I want to know you won't Disapparate before I can explain everything," Neasa interrupted. Severus gave up trying to pry her left hand off his shoulder.
"I know about you and Sirius!" he snapped. "I found that old photograph of you both in London – so please… please tell me you haven't been seeing him –please tell me it's all in the past!"
"Sirius and I were finished long ago," Neasa said. "I – promise – you. I have no feelings for him anymore."
She spoke firmly, so firmly Severus had little choice but to believe her. He took a deep, shaky breath.
"What are you doing here?" he asked again.
Neasa pursed her lips and said, "I didn't want you to find out this way."
Severus didn't speak, so she continued: "My name isn't Neasa Casey. That's just an alias – my real name… is Róisín Rí. I'm an Auror. I'm undercover – I'm a bodyguard for… for Harry Potter."
"I… don't understand – you're Albus's secretary – how can you be two people at once?"
"I'm pretending to be a secretary – the job was arranged so I could be stationed at Hogwarts for Harry. We knew that the Ministry would never authorise one of their own Aurors to watch over Harry, so Sirius and Dumbledore hired me in confidence."
"You're… working for Sirius?" Severus asked.
"Yes. And Dumbledore. They jointly hired me last summer – after Voldemort's return."
"For Potter?" he spat. "That boy's spoiled enough already!"
"Harry doesn't know about me," Neasa replied.
The hailstones were falling into Severus's shoes, and the reality of what was unfolding in front of him was beginning to sink in. He felt the air vanish from his lungs, like he'd been punched in the chest.
Neasa Casey didn't exist. The secretary who wanted to teach History of Magic one day – the woman he'd fallen in love with and opened his heart to wasn't real. Even Sirius knew Neasa better than Severus did. What about her family? Her history in Derry? Was any of that real?
"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.
"I couldn't – Sirius wouldn't hear of it – Dumbledore wanted you to know, but Sirius was sure you would loathe the idea of a bodyguard for Harry and you'd try and get rid of me," Neasa explained.
"Don't blame Sirius – why didn't you tell me?" Severus barked.
"I – I don't know – I didn't want you to find out like this! I was planning on telling you – I hoped you would understand my position–"
"Understand your position?" Severus hissed. At this Neasa let go of his shoulder as if she'd been burnt. "How do you expect me to sit calmly and understand why you – you would let me fall in love with you when you didn't even exist? Why would you do that to someone?"
"I didn't enjoy lying to you!" Neasa replied, her voice cracking.
"Then why bother!" Severus shouted. "Why – why did you ever bother with me if you didn't enjoy lying–"
"I fell in love with you!"
Severus fell silent. Neasa was breathing heavily.
Her admission wasn't a new fact, but it sounded a million times different when she was practically begging him to believe her, when she'd sobbed out those words and they'd echoed around the street, for a brief second drowning out the sound of the hail.
"I'm so sorry, Severus," Neasa added, her voice cracking further, her lips trembling. She lowered her wand and pressed her other hand over her mouth. "I never meant to hurt you – I knew it was wrong b-but I c-convinced myself you – you would under– understand! That – if – if o-only I explained it right it w-wouldn't s-sound so bad– I'm sorry–"
Now her head fell into her hands and she dropped her wand; her shoulders shook as she cried into her palms, but Severus felt glued to the spot; he couldn't hold her, he just couldn't bring himself to comfort her. He wanted to shout at her – make her understand how deeply her betrayal cut into him – he wanted to hurt her – but any words he tried to form were uselessly caught in his mouth.
Hailstones were slipping down his collar. He bent down and picked up Neasa's wand from among the bits of ice at their feet, not registering how distraught an Auror would have to be to drop their wand. Then he gently took her wrists and pulled her hands down – her eyes were red and her makeup smeared down her cheeks.
"I'm taking you back to Hogwarts," Severus said.
"I can take myself–"
"Don't be silly."
However angry he was with her, he wasn't going to abandon her in the middle of London.
He returned her her wand, and then put his hand firmly on her shoulder. He Disapparated them to a spot somewhere between the castle gates and Hogsmeade.
Although Severus remained silent as they walked, Neasa somehow found the energy to continue talking. She told him how she and Sirius had met, when she'd been on placement in London in 1980 and how they'd been together up until he was taken to Azkaban. She said believing he'd been guilty of all those murders had broken her heart and she'd returned to Dublin and continued her life as if they'd never met.
She told Severus how, the previous summer, Albus had requested a meeting with her and told her Sirius was innocent and was looking for an Auror to guard Potter – asked if she was interested in the job. She'd agreed to meet Sirius in Grimmauld Place – then she'd come up with the alias of Neasa Casey. She'd arranged fake identification, a fake CV and a fake job reference and had applied for the job of Headmaster's secretary at Hogwarts under her fake name.
"I'm not making excuses," Neasa said as they walked through the doors of the Entrance Hall, "but there's another reason I couldn't tell you. Sirius–"
"Not him again," Severus spat.
"Just listen!" Neasa snapped. "Dumbledore knew Umbridge would be here this year and she would definitely get rid of me if she found out. Sirius was worried you might tell her who I was – same way you got rid of Remus two years ago for being a werewolf."
Severus couldn't really disagree with this – Sirius was right. Still, he said, "What about that fight over Hagrid's inspection? You weren't exactly keeping your head down."
"I admit that was unprofessional," said Neasa, "and it didn't help my being a Muggleborn already put me on thin ice around that woman. But, well… I had to be more careful around her after that."
They approached the staircase and Neasa added, "We have to speak to Dumbledore."
Not quite wanting a meeting with the Headmaster and Neasa, but very much not having the energy to argue, Severus trailed behind as she led the way to the office.
Almost as soon as they were past the griffin statue and on the moving staircase, they heard a loud BANG like a gunshot from the direction of Albus's office. As they ascended, the bang was followed by the sound of several people yelling, a bird's screech, the sound of breaking glass, and then a terrible silence as Severus pushed open the door.
The office was smashed to pieces; dust settled around the scene of chaos, over the still forms of people lying on the floor: Dolores, Minister Fudge, Kingsley Shacklebolt and another Auror. Minerva was crouching next to two sudents: Harry Potter and a Ravenclaw, Marietta Edgecombe. Albus was walking to them; no one had noticed Severus and Neasa, who were rooted to the spot, utterly shocked by what they saw.
Albus spoke to Minerva and Potter spoke in hushed tones – Edgecombe looked too weary to register what was happening around her; she looked like she'd been Obliviated. She had boils on her face which spelled the word 'SNEAK'. Above them, Fawkes the phoenix flew in small circles near the ceiling.
The second Auror was beginning to stir at Severus's feet; in that moment Albus finally looked over, and Neasa croaked, "Dumbledore – what – what happened?"
"Minerva will explain everything to you both," Albus said hurriedly. Then, addressing Neasa, he added, "You know what your job is."
She gave a stiff nod as if accepting an order, looking determined.
Albus turned back to Potter, took his wrist and said, "Close your mind – you will understand, Harry."
He let go in the moment Fawkes dipped in his flight and he grabbed the bird's tail and disappeared in a brilliant flash of red flames.
Fudge scrambled to his feet and yelled, "Where is he? Where is he?"
"I don't know!" Kingsley said, pulling himself up.
"Well, he can't have Disapparated!" cried Umbridge. "You can't do it from inside this school–"
"The stairs!" cried the second Auror, and he pushed past Severus and Neasa to dash out the office, followed by Kingsley and then Umbridge.
A stony silence followed; Fudge brushed some dust off his clothes and said harshly to Minerva, "Well, Minerva – I'm afraid this is the end of your friend Dumbledore."
"You think so, do you?" Minerva asked scornfully.
Fudge didn't reply; his eyes travelled around the ruined office. Some of the Headmasters' portraits mocked him, shaking their fists and uttering profanities.
"You'd better get those two off to bed," he added, waving a dismissive hand at Potter and Edgecombe.
Her hands on the students' shoulders, Minerva marched them out of the office, and Neasa and Severus followed, Neasa closing the door after her. She leaned heavily against it, looking drained.
"Where have you been, you two?" Minerva asked, looking worried. Severus realised that both he and Neasa were soaked through, and Neasa's makeup was still blotchy. Potter seemed to have noticed this too.
"It's not important," Severus said.
Neasa drew a deep, shaky breath and clasped her hand over her mouth, leaning her head against the door; she had started crying again. Minerva looked expectantly at Severus, as if willing him to comfort Neasa, but he couldn't bring himself to.
"I think we must have a meeting of the Heads of House," he said, glancing at Minerva, who gave a small nod. "I'll fetch Pomana and Filius and meet you in your office."
After Severus had left, Neasa gave the quietest sniffle she could, but Professor McGonagall noticed all the same, and took a swift step forward to envelop her in a hug.
"Professor – I'm fine," she said, flustered.
"I'm Minerva," Professor McGonagall replied firmly. "From now on, I'm Minerva to you, alright?"
Feeling utterly and completely overwhelmed, Neasa couldn't protest; she didn't feel like she deserved this kindness, not after what she'd put Severus through.
Professor McGonagall patted her shoulder gently and released her, but kept her gaze trained carefully on Neasa, making her look to the floor.
"What happened?" the Professor asked gently.
"We had a fight," Neasa whispered, trying not to let Harry overhear, but she was sure he did. Even if he didn't, it didn't take a genius to work out what was wrong.
"If you need to talk…" Professor McGonagall trailed off, and Neasa nodded.
"I will," she said. Then, making a snap decision, added, "I have to tell you something. Not here."
The Ravenclaw girl had to be taken to the hospital wing by Professor McGonagall, leaving Neasa to walk Harry back to the Gryffindor common room.
The only words they exchanged came when they reached the snoozing portrait of the Fat Lady; Harry hesitated, turned to Neasa and asked, "Who'll be Headmaster now?"
"I don't know," she said honestly.
She waited until he'd entered the common room and the portrait had swung shut, before heading in the direction of Professor McGonagall's office for the meeting of the Heads of House; when she was on the corridor a voice called, "Neasa Casey?"
She turned; a young man with fiery red hair was catching up with her – he looked too old to be a student.
"Who's asking?" she asked.
"Percy Weasley – Personal Assistant to the Minister, Cornelius–"
"I know who your Minister is," she snapped. "What does he want?"
"It's not Mr Fudge – it's Ms Umbridge – Headmistress Umbridge I should say," said Percy, looking smug.
"Excuse me?"
"They're in Ms Umbridge's office signing Decree Number Twenty-Eight right now – Ms Umbridge shall replace Dumbledore, now that he's gone."
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Neasa hissed, and ran past Percy to Umbridge's office.
When she was there she burst right in, finding the two Aurors on either side of the door and Fudge leaning over a piece of parchment, signing it. Umbridge was watching, looking incredibly pleased with herself.
Fudge was about to add a red wax seal when Neasa cried, "You can't do this! Dumbledore's only been gone five minutes!"
"Miss Casey–" Umbridge began.
"That should be Minerva's name on that Decree!"
"If you don't control yourself I will ask my Aurors to remove you," Fudge threatened.
"There's no need, Cornelius," Umbridge said sweetly.
"Why aren't you in Dumbledore's office right now?" Neasa asked.
Ubridge's smile faltered, and she glanced at Fudge before replying slowly, "The password no longer works. The office appears to… have sealed itself."
"The office is rejecting you as Headmistress?" Neasa sneered, but Umbridge didn't react. Neasa began chuckling slowly, and then suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter for nearly a full minute, clutching her stomach. She soon had a stitch in her side, but it was worth it for the look of utter contempt on Umbridge's face.
When Neasa had finally composed herself Umbridge said, "In fact, considering that you are now my secretary, Miss Casey, I have an errand for you. I advise that you take it before I make my first act as Headmistress to fire you."
She picked up the Decree off her desk, held it delicately in her hands for a moment, admiring it, then stretched out one stubby hand and passed it to Neasa, who reluctantly accepted it.
"Copy it," said Umbridge. "Make enough copes to put one or two in every common room and on every other notice board in the school. Tonight."
Neasa obediently took the Decree and began leaving the office.
When she was just past the door Umbridge called, "I hope I won't see another such outburst from you again, Miss Casey. I hope it was only due to the shock of seeing your boss nearly getting arrested."
"Of course not, Professor," Neasa said sweetly, and turned on her heel, scowling.