A/n: So I watched seasons 4 and 5 this month. Sweet. Glorious. Mercy. And that ending?! Whew, intense.
"Love and Peace",
Mint Tea and Skulls
Chapter 33: Buckets of Trouble
Natalie was a rational person. She knew that she was probably over emotional at the moment. It had been quite the day. That did not prevent her from being angry. With little force, her hand softly smacked Lucifer across the chest.
"What were you thinking?! You could have been killed! Maze could have been killed!"
Tears were starting to boil over and she swallowed hard.
"Maze is right." She muttered.
Lucifer looked between the two of them confused. Behind her, Maze gave a sputtering cough into her glass and fished around in her pockets. "Where's my phone? I need a recording of this."
"You should stay away from me. It's too dangerous. If something were to happen to you, I-" Natalie stopped and pulled herself away from Lucifer. She suddenly recalled the two other people standing near the door way. "I have to go."
A stunned silence followed her as she turned and left to the elevator. Behind the closed doors, she slid down the wall. Holding a trembling hand to her mouth, she cried for a moment before finally escaping from the building. When the cool night air hit her, she realized she didn't know where the broadsword was. With a groan, she began the trek back to where the fighting had been.
The sun had begun to rise when Natalie finally accepted that the sword was not here. Her best hope to find it was the people she had just left, and deeply desired to avoid. With a heaving sigh, she made her way back to her apartment a couple blocks away. Her sighs changed from sad to frustrated. The call to collect her blade sang through her blood. Rather than take the nap she desperately needed, she replaced the ruined pajamas with clean street clothes and made her way back to Lux. She could rest when she knew where the sword was.
She just had to sneak in and look around without the two denizens of Hell finding out. 'Easy-peasy.' Rolled through her mind, dripping in sarcasm.
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The sound of a phone camera shutter was the first thing to break the silence. Lucifer looked between the elevator and his remaining guests. Maze looked rather pleased with herself, while the good doctor was busy trying to find the bottom of her glass.
"What the bloody hell just happened?" He asked plainly.
Maze broke into a harsh laugh that earned her a glare from the annoyed Devil.
"This is hardly funny. Natalie went from overjoyed to see me, to fleeing whist she babbles about being dangerous."
"Oh. It's 'Natalie' now. Oh yeah... This is gonna come up in your next session." The doctor mumbled into her glass.
With a scoff, and a flourish of his hand, Lucifer retorted, "Yes, yes, my feelings, etc. However, why did she run? I'm obviously fine. Thus she's of no danger to me."
"I know I'm going to regret asking... But what actually happened tonight? Ya know, before you called me in to try to patch up whatever she is."
"Easy," Maze cut in, still chuckling, "Nat beat the big bad monster, and in the blast, Lucifer's devil face came out."
The doctor's mouth puckered as she nodded and refilled her glass. "And does... Natalie... know about your devil face?"
Lucifer shifted back and forth. While he was still quite honest about his devilish nature, he was fairly sure that he had never shown that side of himself to her.
With another dark chuckle, Maze picked up the broadsword and headed to the elevator. She called out before the doors closed, "Finally, someone listens to me."
A moment of rage over took Lucifer, and he flung the glass in his hand into the shelving behind his personal bar. The doctor flinched as the glass shattered and the shelving came down in a crash. He sank into his preferred chair and looked out over the balcony with a sigh. In the chair next to his, the doctor eased down with her glass. After a few moments, she made a motion of taking off a hat that wasn't there. Lucifer gave her an odd look.
Smiling warmly, she said, "I'm taking off my therapist hat for a moment. Right now, I'm just Linda. A friend." A pause to breath. "Lucifer, she thought you died. Even worse, from what she was screaming, it sounds like she thought she killed you. Remember when Uriel came to earth and you were scared for the detective?"
"Are you saying I'm her detective?"
"No, I'm saying you're important to her, like the detective is to you. And the fear of possibly losing you, permanently, really got to her."
"All that from one meeting, Doctor."
"Heheh. More like, all that from the small thunderstorm that formed in your penthouse. And I've never seen a more textbook response to a near-death situation. It's actually kind of fascinating. Humans, Celestial, demons, whatever she is, we all have the same physiological bases.
"Anyways, my point is: give her some time."
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Across town, Maze, large blade in tow, and Natalie stood across from each other and far from prying human eyes. A smug grin spread across Maze's face.
Humor lit her tone as she said, "I didn't know you had this kind of twisted nature."
Maze turned the blade back and forth, looking over each side. Her next statement made Natalie's blood run cold.
"I can hear them. The souls that live in this sword. I can only assume you sacrificed them to make this beauty. So, why don't you settle the question that haunts to internet. Just how many people does it take to have enough iron to make a sword this size?"
"If you hear one of them say to lick it cause it tastes like bubblegum; their lying." Natalie fired back in a flat tone.
"Know what? I'm gonna keep it. Yeah, it'll look great holding up the laundry basket."
"Maze, it's almost nine in the morning. Could we do this another time? I want to at least catch a nap before practice. Just give me the damn sword."
Minutes swam by as the two stared at each other. Natalie's hand slowly dropped down from it's held out position.
"You got what you wanted. I'll stay away from Lucifer, so hand it over."
The smug smile turned cruel.
"Oh, this isn't about him anymore. You want it, you can take it from me."
Natalie rubbed her face, and fought off the exhaustion that was creeping into her bones. Looking up and down the alley way, she spied a bent pipe of decent length. Scooping up her impromptu weapon, she turned to face Maze again.
"Fine. We'll do it your way."
Maze grinned, and tossed the broadsword behind her to draw her blades. Natalie took a step forward and swayed on her feet. When she seemed about to fall to the side, she sprinted to flank around Maze. Since she was expecting Natalie to dive for the sword, Maze was caught off guard by a direct attack. Because the pipe was much lighter and smaller, Natalie's swing was much quicker than when she had been fighting the Pale One.
Rather than allow herself to be pushed back, Maze shifted to the side and slashed for Natalie's waist. Natalie struck back relentlessly. As the rain of quick blows came down, the two slowly turned. When Maze landed a swift roundhouse kick, Natalie tumbled backward and over the discarded blade. Snatching up her blade, Natalie bolted.
The more she thought about it, the less it was a "Natalie's weirdest week in a while" and more of a "Maze is fucking insane." Definitely the second. She had tried the "ignore it and it'll go away method." Natalie wasn't too shocked that it didn't work on a self-proclaimed demon. The best she could guess was that now that Maze got her way, she was ready to forgive and move on. And fight. So much fighting. 'I didn't know there was anything that had more energy than a human toddler.'
And questions. Constant questions. Like the child that was sometimes with her, the cop girl's child, Maze constantly needled Natalie with questions. At least her home was Maze-free (which she had also been questioned about), even though she had no idea how she had achieved that, and that was something she was deeply grateful for. Kanaquetzal stayed locked in the cabinet.
None of her contacts had provided any information on who or what could have kept a Pale One. Granted those contacts were all human, so she had to ask about extremely odd, murderous pets. Nothing beyond the standard tigers and bears. Humans are strange creatures.
The shocking part was that Lucifer had actually listened to Natalie. She had expected a couple days of quiet before he came demanding his desired answers. Logically, she knew it was for the best. That didn't stop her from looking for him at the bar when she directed practice. Or in the crowds around L.A.. Even her sleep was plagued by scenes of his smile and near death.
In truth, she didn't see him again until the night of Evan's precious "Singing Stags" night. She hadn't thought he had even gotten the invitation. Until Evan took up a movie-villain smile when Lucifer walked into the karaoke bar that had rented out for the night of festivities. Thankfully, Evan's grinning was put to a stop with light teasing about practicing in the mirror for this moment.
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It was one week into "giving her time", when Lucifer was approached by a familiar face.
"Hi, Mr. Morningstar."
"Evan, please, call me Lucifer. Now, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I was hoping to exchange favors. I hear that's a thing you do. I offer a free favor of your choosing in exchange for the acceptance of two invitations." Evan explained smoothly, holding up two envelopes.
"And these two occasions?" Lucifer asked.
"The best competitive karaoke bar in L.A. and the last V.I.P. ticket for the stadium box Nat and I get as returning champs for the biggest cover band battle of the bands on the continent."
Lucifer accepted the envelopes with a commenting of "Deal."
"Good," Evan replied, "Because if I have to watch Nat sit around eating discount Cheetos and pouting much longer, I may lose my damn mind."
"Pouting?"
"Yep. Big, bad Nat is besides herself over you. She won't tell me what happened, and no, I don't want you to tell me. Just keeps muttering about 'what's best'. Sounds like her being stubborn and stupid to me." Evan turned and waved. "See you later, Lucifer. Don't forget that the 'Singing Stag' party is strictly casual wear."
Lucifer was not familiar with casual wear. However, he did know a couple humans that excelled at it. A quick trip to the detective's home for her and Daniel's help would clear up this problem for him. While Lucifer expected the errand to be short, a trip about the mall later had left all parties annoyed. In the food court, they attempted to hash out a plan.
"Dude, you are being too picky. You can get rid of the outfit after the party, just pick something." Daniel muttered, rubbing his face hard.
"It's not that simple, Daniel. My descent into casual wear is about more than this one night. I need to prove that I can exist on her level, the way she proved she can exist on mine."
"I just don't think you can do casual. Who even is this girl?"
"She's known as th-"
"Is that Ella?" The detective cut the two of them off, motioning toward a photo booth by the exit.
As Lucifer and Daniel turned to look, the three of them watched as Miss Lopez rose up on to her toes to kiss a well-built man with dark hair. She then slipped arm into the crook of his jacket and the two left to get onto the motorcycle in the front parking spot.
After a few minutes of silence, Lucifer said, "Good for her. Now, can we please focus on finding decent clothing?"
"Why does this matter so much to you?" The detective asked.
With a long sigh, Lucifer took a swig off his flask and opted to be open. "Natalie and I had a... disagreement of sorts. She thought she had hurt me, and left my penthouse quite upset. We are both attending an event this weekend, hence the need for proper attire."
"Natalie, is it?" The detective said thoughtfully as she and Daniel shared a look. "Do you have a plus one?"
"No, I am the plus one. I'm Natalie's date."