She stared at the tray in front of her. Two eggs, dry toast, and coffee. Ordering breakfast was the normal thing to do and yet the idea of eating made the bile rise in her throat again. She'd lost track of the last time she'd actually been hungry. Perhaps it had coincided with the last time she felt like she had any control over anything in her life – whenever that was.
Her jaw tightened as she heard the familiar ring of her cell phone. There was no reason to check the caller. It would be the same as it had been the other seven times this morning, Jack. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she silenced the phone and then quickly turned it off. Soon enough she'd have to face him at the office. The least he could do is give her the rest of the morning to try and salvage what was left of her sanity.
"Ugh," she groaned as she pushed her chair back from the computer. The numbers on the screen in front of her all seemed to blur together as she tried in vain to keep her mind on business. When she realized that Jack would be in meetings all morning, she found herself equal parts relieved and annoyed. Certainly she was thankful that she wouldn't have to deal with his myriad of questions, but the idea that he was able to function somehow made her seethe. She could only dream of a moment where she didn't relive the last few months of hell, where she could focus on work and act as if her life had returned to some form of normalcy. She both envied and resented him for that.
And still, even in this moment, she felt guilty. How could she resent him for doing something he simply had to do? Jabot was barely hanging on after being forced to settle with Victor Newman of all people and she knew her actions had been the catalyst. Jack never said it, but he'd be a fool if he didn't think it and Jack Abbott was no fool.
The knock on the slightly open office door startled her and she felt her entire body tense as she registered his presence. "What are you doing here?" she hissed through clenched teeth.
Billy took a step inside the office, his hand tightly clenched around the file folder he held out towards her. "I just need a signature on this contract," he said softly. It had taken everything in him not to call her this morning. His willpower had nearly given out when she had arrived to the office later than usual, but he'd managed to wait, knowing she'd see his concern as a form of interference.
"If you need a signature, Billy, you leave it with the receptionist and they'll bring it in with the other dozens of documents that I need to sign. I don't have time to stop and sign every single thing someone brings me. And I'm also not an idiot." She knew the words were harsh as she leveled them at the man in front of her. Part of her believed he honestly wanted to help. She knew Billy Abbott was one person that truly understood what a vile human being Victor Newman could be and there had been moments over the past few days when she'd considered confiding in him. But now, as he stood there in front of her, she couldn't help but see him as yet another person that couldn't seem to respect her wishes.
"I don't …" He stammered a bit as he stood in front of her. "I never said you were a …"
"You honestly think I believe you came in here to get my signature on a contract? I know what you're doing. I know this is another way for you to try and get me to confide in you and I've already told you, I don't want to talk to you. I don't need your help. I don't want you to be here badgering me and trying to uncover whatever it is that you're so convinced I'm trying to hide." Her voice rose of its own volition and she felt her hands trembling as she forced them flat against the cool wood of the desk. "So what do I need to say to get through to you, Billy?" She stood from the chair, her legs shaky beneath her slight frame. "What's it going to take for you to leave me alone?!"
"Phyllis, I …" He glanced back at the door and pulled it closed before stepping closer to the desk. "Honestly, I didn't mean to upset you. The contract is time sensitive and I …" The look in her eyes told him she didn't believe him and he knew any more time spent attempting to explain his way out of this was wasted energy.
"Look." He placed his hands on the edge of the desk, hoping his more calm demeanor would be contagious. "Whatever's going on is your business, not mine and that's fine. I just want you to know that we're in this together and that includes anything that's bothering going on. We're partners, remember?" He smiled, his eyes flashing with glints of hope and promise.
She felt her shoulders relax ever so slightly. He was one of the few people that seemed to have that effect on her. "I know," she whispered. "I remember."
"And Victor's going to get what's coming to him real soon when PassKey is swiped right out from under him. That's got to put a smile on that gorgeous face of yours, doesn't it?"
Her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to force herself to focus on the good. "You're right." She swallowed hard as she lowered herself back into the chair. "I know you're right. Victor's going to get exactly what's coming to him and we won't stop until that happens."
"Alright, I'm here." Billy stepped into the apartment as Natalie held the door open. "What was so important that I had to come over right away?"
"Trust me, once you hear what I have to say, you'll be happy you came." Natalie gestured to the sofa as she smiled proudly. "Where's Phyllis?"
"Phyllis has a lot on her plate right now," Billy answered quickly. "Whatever this is about, I'll fill her in."
"I would have thought you two would have wanted to celebrate this together," she smirked. "You're looking at a free agent."
Billy froze, his eyes instantly lighting up with interest. "Wait a minute, you're saying Victor …" He waited for her to complete the statement.
"I'm no longer an employee of Newman Enterprises so if someone were to offer me a job then …"
"If you're handing out job offers …" Luca descended the steps quickly and narrowed his eyes as he noticed the quick end to the conversation. "Not to overstep, but Natalie isn't the only person here that might be looking for gainful employment."
"It's a little more complicated than that," Billy answered, "but I'm sure you can speak with someone at HR and they can keep your resume on file."
Luca smiled. "Right, but you and both know it's all about connections, about who you know, and what you know … especially what you know about who you know."
Billy stared at him, watching the look in his eyes, a look he recognized. "You have something you want to say, Luca?"
"Not at the moment," he smirked. "It's just an observation. If you happen to decide that you need some more people on your team, you'll let me know, won't you? I have skills that you might be able to benefit from, knowledge you could use."
"I'll keep that in mind." Billy stood up and smoothed his jacket down in front. "Natalie, I'll be in touch and I'll be sure to update Phyllis on our new situation."
He stepped into the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe tonight he'd actually be able to put a smile on Phyllis' face.
The bottle of champagne and ice were tucked securely under his arm as he ducked into the room and watched the bellhop tuck the hundred dollar bill into his jacket pocket. Billy pushed the door closed behind him and quickly moved towards the sofa. A little good news was exactly what Phyllis needed. She deserved this break, he thought to himself as he sat down and placed the bottle on the table in front of him to chill.
More than anything, he wanted to make things easier for her. It was clear that something was going on in her life and it killed him that she didn't trust him enough to tell him what it was. Perhaps tonight, when she heard this news, when she finally realized that together they could take on Victor Newman, take on anything, she'd realize he really was someone she could trust. He let his body sink into the plush cushions as he tried to imagine her reaction. She had a smile that could light up a room and he hadn't seen it nearly enough lately. He'd tell her that Natalie worked for them now, that PassKey could be theirs free and clear, just as it always should have been and she'd smile that smile and throw her arms around him. He'd hold her close and breathe her in and ...
The sound of the doorknob turning made his eyes fly open. He shook his head and waited, all too ready to surprise her with what was sure to be news she'd been waiting on just as long as he had.
Phyllis breathed a deep sigh of relief as she stepped into the darkened room. All day long it felt as if she'd been holding her breath, as if every muscle in her body had been tense, every nerve on alert. Finally, she could sink into the darkness and solitude of the only place she could truly control. She placed her jacket on the hook by the door and slowly shucked her blazer before kicking off her shoes and reaching to flip on the lamp by the bed. Its soft light bathed the room in a dim glow as she let her body fall onto the bed. It was then that she saw it, the shadow on the wall.
The tension returned instantly, her heart raced, her mouth suddenly bone dry as she struggled to push up against the headboard. She wanted to scream but no sound came out of her gaping mouth. The shadow began to move and she was forced to react, her hands reaching out for the first thing she could find as she gripped the lamp and pulled it hard. The entire room was now dark as she hurtled forward towards the door, brandishing the only weapon she had.
"Please don't," she pleaded, her voice trembling in absolute terror. "Please, please don't."
Billy stood, his entire body frozen in horror. He moved towards her, his hands in front of him as he searched for and finally found the light switch. "Hey, Phyllis," he reached for, trying to touch her, to ground her, to comfort her, but she couldn't hear it, couldn't hear him.
Her words were almost incomprehensible as he watched the lamp fall from her hands and heard the glass shatter. She brought her shaking hands to her head and fell to the floor, trembling and crying as she shook. "Don't … No …. Go away. Leave me alone."
"Phyllis." He knelt beside her, his own heart pounding as he tried in vain to reach her. "It's me. It's okay. It's just me. Phyllis. It's Billy. It's me …" He touched her back gently, feeling her jump as he did so, but finally noting her eyes meeting his.
"B-B-Billy." She blinked quickly as she struggled to control her breath. "It's … it's you."
"Yeah, it's me. It's me. Let's get you up. Come on." He helped her to her feet and gently guided her towards the bed." As he sat beside her, his mind raced with questions, but the last thing he wanted to do was upset her further. "I'm sorry," he managed, aware of how wholly inadequate the phrase sounded after what he'd just witnessed. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to surprise you. Natalie called me tonight and told me that Victor had fired her so I thought I'd come over and bring a bottle of bubbly and we could toast to bringing down the mustache, but …"
"How did you get in my room?"
"I …"
"I asked you a question." She stared at him as she felt her heart rate finally returning to normal.
"I just wanted to surprise you. This was supposed to be something fun, something good, a reason to celebrate. I …"
"Whoever let you in here …" Her legs still shook as she stood and moved towards the door. "I should have them fired."
"Phyllis. This wasn't his fault. It was … I shouldn't have … I wasn't thinking I guess. I'm sorry that I startled you. I didn't mean to. I would never intentionally upset you. I hope you know that." He stood directly in front of her now, his eyes searching her face for something that would help all of this make sense.
"I need you to go now, Billy."
"I .." He shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot. "Why don't we just sit down and have a drink? This is good news. I mean, we can still celebrate. I …" Her hands still trembled even as she kept her fists clenched by her side.
"I said go, Billy. Please. Now. I don't feel like celebrating anything tonight. I'm sorry, but it's been a really long day and I just want to relax here … alone." She pulled the door open and looked back at him. "Please."
His entire being felt compelled to stay, to talk to her, to comfort her, to try - yet again to find out what was truly going on, but it would be no use. "I'll go," he said sadly, "but if you-" The door closed in his face before he even had a chance to finish the sentence.
Phyllis leaned back against the door for a long moment before grabbing a chair and wedging under the doorknob. This brought her little comfort as she knew the greatest threat wasn't from anything outside the door, but from what had already come in, what lived inside her head, what she could never escape from. The anger, pain, and shame seemed to well up within her as she finally let out the sobs she'd been holding in all day.
Billy stood, his hand poised just inches from the door's handle on the other side as he listened to the sounds of her pained expressions. "What is going on with you, Phyllis?" he breathed.