'This is all my fault.'
A deep, unyielding sickness churned in the green-haired boy's gut as he watched the horrific scenes play out before him on the television screen, regret and shame reflected in Izuku's emerald gaze. Scarred hands gripped the little girl resting in his lap tighter as Toga viciously and mercilessly dispatched hero after hero in brutal fashion, the startled gasps and pained cries of his classmates a fuzzy ringing in his ears as they watched the horrific events unfold before them, the assembled students of Class 1-A gathered around the common room television to witness their friend commit such heinous acts.
"I can still see it! It won't go away!" Covering her eyes, Mina desperately tried to erase the sight of her cat-eyed friend's grisly beatdown, the pinkette's distraught cries managing to pierce through the static in Izuku's brain. Toga would not let her conquest go unseen, the godlike girl broadcasting her ascending moment to every screen in the world, even forcefully into their brains should they try to shield their eyes of her crowning moment.
She shall not be ignored.
A painful wail tore through Tooru's throat as she dug herself deeper into Tsuyu's embrace, the frog girl holding the distraught invisible classmate tightly, her sobs wracking painfully through her, her own tears silently streaking down her cheeks as she watched the events unfold with wide, unblinking eyes. Kirishima's mouth hung open in quiet disbelief as Kaminari nervously pulled at his hair, the entire class praying for all of it to end, that they will all wake up from this dreadful nightmare.
Pressing Eri's face closer to his chest, palm securely placed over her head, the wielder of One For All did his best to shield the little girl from such horrifying sights, his own heart aching with every act of cruelty the godly schoolgirl performed. Izuku didn't want her to see this, to have her witness the woman she cared about, one who had helped save her from Overhaul's clutches, single-handedly spell the downfall of hero society.
"What's wrong?" Her tiny voice muffled slightly by his chest, Eri's innocent question sent a small jolt through the young hero, red eyes meeting emerald as they gazed up at him with a confused stare. "What's happening?"
Of course, Izuku thought with a wry smile as he held the Eri close, fingers trembling slightly as lightly ran his hand along the top of her head in a soothing motion. Of course, despite everything, in even her darkest moment, Toga would spare Eri from having to see something so horrible. Through her heartbreak, with such overwhelming anger and despair drowning her senses with rage, Toga would never let anything hurt Eri, even her own actions.
Watching the events unfold on the TV screen, hearing the horror and heartbreak in his classmate's voices as they begged for it to end, seeing the entire world crumble at the feet of one despair-driven girl, Izuku knew, without a shadow of a doubt, his careless words and reckless actions caused this. Everything that was happening, everything that will come, was caused by one fatal mistake, one moment of painful regret he could scarcely hope to make better.
Gritting his teeth, tears burning in the corner of his eyes, Izuku could feel the rising tide of anger bubble up within him. Anger at himself and his stupidity, Izuku berating himself for letting his lingering doubts and fears override his rationality, for letting a moment of pain overwrite everything he had come to hold dear.
Anger for letting himself hurt Toga.
He had been blinded by love, it was as simple as that, Izuku could admit this. He had built a version of Toga in his head, one free of her flaws and mistakes, enveloped in a veil of beautiful and cherished memories, protected by a wall of blind, trusting love. So when the cracks in the wall became apparent, even the smallest of slivers caused his entire worldview to shatter, burying everything he came to love in broken, jagged debris of pure, anguished heartache.
The hurt that had gripped his heart, the stifling suffocation of betrayal that had driven the air from his lungs when he witnessed Toga threaten Ochaco with her powers, made it so all he could see was the villain she had once been. All the good he had seen in her, all the growth she had undergone in their time together, the feelings they had shared, were all smeared with filth, tainted by the pain rending his heart in two. One moment, one mistake, that's all it took for everything they had to crumble to dust.
There had been hints that pointed toward the fact that, as much as he had wished it was different, Toga had not been the good, perfect hero he had envisioned she'd become. The signs were there, plainly obvious for Izuku to notice, if only he had let himself see them. The excessive violence she had used on Mirio, the savagery she had reigned down upon Kacchan, the strange gap in the Provisional License Exam where no one knows what had traumatized Gang Orca. Even the most recent event of Overhaul's mysterious death painted a picture of darkness that still enveloped the godlike schoolgirl.
But Izuku had just turned away, firmly clenching his eyes shut to the telltale signs, the wielder of One For All trying to rationalize it all away, trying to find any excuse possible to not taint the vision of Toga in his head. He didn't want to see, didn't want to have to face the fact that she wasn't who he believed her to be, too scared to know the truth.
Too scared to have his perfect worldview broken.
She 'was' getting better though. Izuku knew she was, he had witnessed it first hand, seen the huge strides she took to leave her villainous past behind, to free herself from the darkness that was clutching like smothering vines onto her soul. She was making friends, the shine in her eyes was growing brighter every day, the sadness and anger that had been raging within her were falling into a peaceful slumber.
His mistake took it all away.
"I was an idiot." Izuku seethed quietly as he clenched his fist tightly in anger, the wielder of One For All cursing himself for his stupidity, for not taking a moment to just think before he ruined everything. One moment, one second to calm down and let his emotions simmer, that's all he would have needed to avoid this whole mess. But it was just one moment, when his feelings of betrayal overrode all of his senses, when the pain he felt left him an emotional mess, that one moment was all it took for everything to unravel.
All he had to do was listen to her, notice the painful lilt in Toga's voice, to see the fear and remorse that was shining in her eyes. All he had to do was talk to her, about what had happened with Ochaco, about what had happened with Overhaul, about everything. All he had to do was share his worries with her, to open up about his fears, to ask her if what they had, if her love for him, was real.
All he had to do was trust her.
A soft gasp passed Izuku's lips as he felt something warm grab ahold of his clenched fist, the young hero looking down into the worried, ruby-red eyes of the horned child in his arms, Eri's tiny hand placed gently over his scarred knuckles. Smiling softly, Izuku gently took Eri's hand in his own, cradling it between his fingers with the utmost care, her pale skin a sharp contrast against his own weathered and scarred palm.
"Eri." Breath hitching slightly, Izuku gently pulled the young child into a loving hug, the emerald-eyed boy doing his best to give her a brave smile. "I failed Toga. I failed her, but…I want to make it right."
"What happened to Toga?" Lifting his head, the wielder of One For All briefly stared into the sorrowful gaze of the young heiress, her onyx eyes searching his questioningly before turning back toward the TV screen. "I thought…I thought we were friends."
Izuku wanted to scream that they were, that Toga surely saw them as friends, every one of them, that it couldn't have been fake. He remembered how separated she felt, how her only connection to 1-A was himself, how reluctant, almost fearful, she seemed at getting closer to the rest of the class. He saw that protective shell she had built around herself slowly break, the godlike blonde letting herself smile freely as she interacted with the other girls, her smile practically a glowing beacon whenever she was surrounded by the members of Class 1-A. Toga was truly happy when she was with her new friends.
That glow was lost now, snuffed out by one single screw-up, leaving behind a shadow that was cast over the entire class.
Tearing his gaze away from the Vice-Class President's pained features, Izuku watched as Toga dispatched the last heroes, All Might's last stand coming to a devastating end, the world watching on in mute horror as their last hope crumbled weakly to the ground. The Symbol of Peace, the entire hero population, were left lying at her feet, helpless to stop the godly blonde in her conquest. One more sacrifice and the world will be hers to play with.
And yet, she seemed to be hesitating. Izuku had seen what Toga was capable of, how ruthlessly, how viciously she could eliminate All Might and every assembled hero with nary a thought, how every living being in the universe was a mere speck of dirt on her path to ascension. No one had a chance of stopping her, the godlike schoolgirl merely putting on a show of dominance for the world, wanting to break everyone's spirit before taking what was hers.
So why was she letting them live? Why was she holding back? Why did she look to be in so much pain?
"Deku-kun?" Pulled out of his internal reverie, Izuku turned to face his round-cheeked friend, her brown eyes regarding him with a questioning stare, the wielder of One For All surprised by her sharp and stony expression. "Did you know about her? Did you know about her powers?"
Gulping nervously, Izuku felt a heavy weight settle in his chest as the entirety of Class 1-A shifted their gazes away from the TV, all eyes focused squarely on the green-haired hero. Clenching his fist, Izuku shamefully lowered his head, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead as he felt their questioning stares bore into him, stabbing at him like invisible needles into his conscious. He had lied to them, kept a secret from them that could have endangered their lives, left them in blissful ignorance as they mingled with a literal force of destruction, unaware of just how much danger they were in.
Swallowing his fears, grasping his knees tight, Izuku slowly lifted his head, facing his classmates with a grim determination besetting his features. He had lied, placed them all in great peril because of his own selfish belief that he could protect them, that he was able to keep Toga happy. Along the way, he had lost sight of his original mission, let it slowly fade into the back of his mind as his heart took over, his love for Toga making him believe that it was all she needed to be happy.
"I knew. I've known from the very start." But, it wasn't just him that made her happy. It was all of them. The time Toga had spent with Class 1-A, the bonds she had shared, the moments she cherished, it was with all of them. They deserved to know, to know who she truly was, to know just who they had become friends with.
To know how much they had mattered.
The entire class was left in stunned silence as Izuku recounted everything, telling them about the original timeline that he and Toga had come from, how this universe came to be from a simple wish from the godlike schoolgirl, leaving him as the only one to remember their shared past. All they could do was listen in quiet disbelief as Izuku explained Toga's powers, how he had kept it all a secret in a vain belief that it would keep them safe, his voice growing pained, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes as he spoke of their time together. Oh, how he wished he could have that time back.
A deafening hush permeated the room after Izuku's explanation, various expressions ranging from pain, sadness, and disbelief encompassing his classmate's features as they tried to digest what they had learned. All Izuku could do was wait, the young hero holding Eri close, his own head filled with memories, both happy and painful, the silver-haired girl snuggling deeper into his embrace, trying her best to make her savior feel better.
"Jeez." Running his hand through his spikey blonde hair, face scrunched up in silent despair, Kaminari fell backward into his seat, his whole body feeling heavy from the green-haired boy's revelations. "This whole time, we never knew who she truly was."
"That's not true!" Kyoka cried as she loudly slammed her hands against the table, the purple-haired rocker's boisterous voice growing soft as she stared solemnly at its polished surface, the Earphone Jack hero slumping gently back into her seat. "She was still our friend. It's like…it's like that's what she really wanted."
Lowering their heads, a melancholic sadness hung heavily over the students of 1-A, their hearts warring with their heads as they tried to reconcile what they had learned about Toga's true nature with the girl they had come to know.
"Yes! She must have wanted to be with us." Sitting upright, face alight with renewed hope, Kirishima gleefully joined in on the purple-haired girl's theory, the Harden hero washing his hopeful gaze over his fellow classmates. "She must have wanted to be good! She wanted to change and be a hero!"
'No, that's not the reason, not really.' Momo silently mused as the rest of the class debated this new theory, the heiress turning her head toward her green-haired classmate, onyx-colored eyes regarding him with a knowing look. 'It was because she loved him. She wanted to be a part of his world.'
Before Momo had a chance to confront the green-haired boy about it, lips parting to call out to Izuku, everyone in Class 1-A suddenly disappeared in a flash, the room growing silent as the wielder of One For All was left all alone in the now empty living room. Jumping to his feet, Izuku stared panic-stricken at his empty arms, the silver-haired child he had been holding having vanished at the same time as his classmates.
'What?! Where are they?!'
A bright, cheerful tune emanating from the television pulled Izuku's attention from the empty dorm, his emerald eyes growing wide in surprise at what he saw. It was…almost normal. The once barren and apocalyptic wasteland Toga had created during her battle with the heroes was gone, the purple and black vortex hovering overhead replaced with a bright blue sky, every destroyed building restored back to their original state.
Instead, the once empty street was now filled with a bustling parade, thousands of people filling the sidewalk as hundreds of floats made their way down the road, each one dedicated in some shape or form to Toga. Bright and energetic music filled the air as streamers and confetti rained down from overhead, the city awash with a myriad of colors, the cheers and claps from the raucous crowd a strong dichotomy to the horrors the world witnessed scant minutes ago.
The camera suddenly switched to a truly enormous parade float, its size rivaling even the biggest stage within the fabled Budokan, various speakers and instruments arranged neatly upon its surface. With a grand flourish, appearing from within a cloud of pink and yellow smoke as a triumphant fanfare trumpeted loudly through the packed streets, Toga appeared on the stage with a bright smile adorning her face, arms waving enthusiastically to the crowd as they roared with joy and elation.
"Ta-da! Hello and welcome everyone!" Toga cheered, her voice carrying clearly above the roaring sea of voices as they all chanted her name, the godlike girl grinning manically as everyone showered her with love and adoration. "I have a wonderful show in store for you all today!"
"I wanted to share the great concert me and my friends have worked so hard on! I hope you all will commend them for all their hard work!"
With a wave of her arms, the members of Class 1-A popped into existence on the stage, each one dressed in their attire for the school festival, their eyes wide and fearful as they looked around in horror and disbelief. Raising her hands into the air, Toga did a couple of acrobatic twirls before appearing in her own festival outfit, Eri, wearing her own smaller version of the dress, held securely in her arms.
Placing the silver-haired girl on the ground, Eri worriedly pulling on Toga's skirt as she stared at her surrounding in confusion, the godlike girl grinned sharply before snapping her fingers, the members of Class 1-A stiffening before their bodies began suddenly moving on their own. Like puppets on strings, everyone was forced to perform the routine from the festival, their faces horror-stricken as their bodies danced to and fro jubilantly against their wishes.
With a perfectly executed cartwheel, Toga slotted in perfectly with her classmates as she joined them in their routine, her golden eyes alight with mirth, a blissful, joyful smile spread across her face. This is what she wanted. This excitement, this unrestrained glee, to play freely with her friends, to do whatever she wanted without worry, free from the shackles of others' expectations of her.
It was her world! Her world to enjoy! Her world to mold to her liking! A world that will love her!
Performing a picture-perfect handspring, Toga twirled around gleefully, eyes closed in an expression of pure happiness as she held out her hand, waiting for the next part to start with a gleeful grin, excitement welling up within her chest. But...nothing happened. Opening her eyes with a start, Toga slowly turned her head to the opposite end of the stage, a sharp, cold stab penetrating her heart as she found it empty, the boy who should be taking her hand missing.
Dropping her hand back to her side, arm hanging listlessly next to her, Toga stared blankly at the empty spot, her lips drawn into a thin line. Everywhere she looked, everything she did, it all comes back to him, doesn't it? She can't escape it. It'll always hang over her like a specter. Taunting her. Haunting her every step.
She'll never be free.
Gripping her skirt tightly, the air around her growing thick as the world in her vision briefly flickered in and out of existence, Toga's face suddenly shifted back into a cheerful grin, the godlike girl continuing the routine as if nothing had happened. With a smile on her face, the ends of her lips twitching as she forced herself to keep up her happy facade, the blonde schoolgirl trying to make herself have fun, to move forward.
To forget her pain.
'Toga.' Frowning deeply, Izuku felt his heart clench painfully in his chest as he watched Toga force herself through the routine, his stomach turning into knots whenever their parts together came up. The agony on her face, the sorrow in her eyes, each one was a violent stab into his heart, knowing it was all his fault. All she wanted was to be accepted, to have someone care and love her for who she was, the godlike girl content to hide away her powers if it meant she could remain in U.A., to remain with her friends. To be by his side.
And he tore that all down.
Closing his eyes, shoulders slumped in silent resignation, Izuku felt the weight of his failures bear down on him, slowly crushing his broken spirit. From the very start, their relationship had been a rocky one, their meeting one of fear and masochistic glee, his only thoughts on how he could possibly escape the fate that had been thrust upon him.
He could vividly remember the abject horror that coursed through him when he saw her sitting in Kacchan's seat, the world treating her as if she had always been there, his mind racing a mile a minute to figure out what the hell had happened. His fear would only grow when she finally revealed the full extent of her powers, saw how easily she could bend him to her whims, how the world was well and truly hers for the taking.
And yet, she let him go home without a fuss, the godlike schoolgirl clearly upset at losing precious time with him, but she never forced him to stay, even if she could have. She was giving him his freedom, limited as it may seem with a living god in his midst, letting him live his life free from her control. It was…surprising.
She always did find a way to surprise him. And, in many ways, he surprised himself. He could remember the moment when he gave her the picture of himself, wanting her to have a possession of her own, something she treasured enough to display in her room. How worried he was after the Mei incident, how broken Toga seemed, the young wielder of One For All wracking his brain on how to cheer up the godly schoolgirl. When that boulder was falling toward her, something that could nary leave a scratch upon one who could reshape the universe, he still acted on instinct to protect her, her safety the only thing that was running through his head.
In many ways, she saved him too, though far from only in the physical sense. In a time when he was doubting his own self-worth, when he felt like the quirk he inherited wasn't earned, Toga reassured him that he was worthy of such a legacy, that it wasn't the quirk that made him a hero, but who he was inside. That should he have never met All Might, if One For All had never ended up in his hands, she believed that Izuku would still have become a hero.
As time passed, the more time they spent together, even going on a date, his First! date, Izuku could feel his feelings for the cat-eyed girl change. They supported each other through everything, Izuku helping her connect with their classmates, letting her know her quirk was not what defined her, that she wasn't a villain for how she was born.
In turn, she helped him deal with his grief over his failures during the Overhaul raid, pushing him to be the hero she believed him to be and comforting him after the loss of Sir Nighteye.
It was this penchant for kindness, her ability for compassion and love as she cared for Eri, helped save her from the blight of Overhaul's shadow that had latched onto the young girl's heart, that Izuku knew the feeling that had been welling up inside him really was love.
A love he scarred with careless words and reckless actions. A love in desperate need of healing. A love he wanted to cherish forever. A love worth saving.
Opening his eyes, determination glowing within their emerald depths, Izuku quickly sprinted towards the front entrance of the dorm, the wielder of One For All powering up Full Cowling as he wrenched the doors open, channeling the power to his legs as he leapt through the campus and toward the city.
Izuku wasn't willing to let it all end here, to leave so many words unsaid between them, to let Toga suffer for his failures. He was through wallowing in pity, through commiserating about his past failures, through waiting for someone to come and fix his mistakes. His whole life he relied on others: Kacchan, All Might, Toga. He always waiting for them to act, to push him past the wall separating him from who he could be, toward the path of a hero.
Flying through the air, wind whipping harshly against his freckled cheeks, Izuku pushed Full Cowling father than he ever had before, his limbs screaming in agony as lighting arced violently around him. But Izuku pushed on, pouring every ounce of energy he had within him to keep propelling him forward, the wielder of One For All singular in his focus. No more mistakes. No more wasted chances and what ifs. He wasn't going to let things continue like this. He was going to find her. He was going to finally tell her everything. He was going to fix everything.
He was going to make things right.
A/N: A Hero is on his way.
Izuku comes to witness just what his mistake caused, having to deal with the guilt of not only what he unleashed upon the world, but also how much it hurt Toga and even his classmates. We find out just how these horrible events came to be, how much it hurt Toga, and how Izuku plans to fix it all.
Next Chapter: Reunion.
Another long break between chapters, though this time it was due to more happy circumstances. I was finally able to take a much-needed vacation with my family and even got a better job, which is partially why I haven't had as much time to write. Though rest assured, this story will continue and it will be finished. That is a guarantee!
Thank you all for your continued support! I really appreciate it and am thankful to each and every one that has given this story a chance! Thank you, love you, and have a wonderful day!