VI - Bird in Flight
"Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe."- C. JoyBell C."
•••
"You can go." Jim said, leaning back against the counter in his kitchen and pausing to take a drink from his coffee. Looking to where Bird was checking the time, yet again, he added, "I know how important this is to you."
Bird sat her glass mug of coffee down on the table surface in front of where she was sitting at the uneven surface he was calling a kitchen table with lowered brows as she admitted, "Really? Just like that? And not one comment about how I shouldn't support a known criminal becoming the mayor?"
With a half-shrug, Jim gave her a silent smile through the steam rising from the coffee he was taking another sip from.
"Oh…" Bird realized, "I get it. You're not saying anything because you don't really think Oswald will win. Yet, you publicly supported Galavan when he ran for mayor-"
"I bought into his act." Jim loudly said over her, "I didn't know who he really was; no one did."
In a quieter voice he added, "But the whole city knows Oswald Cobblepot is a criminal. He was in Arkham."
"So was I." Bird was quick to point out.
"And so was Nygma." Jim stated, "And the three of you are the faces for this campaign run."
She caught the playful look in his eyes just seconds before the comment would have elicited anger from her.
He was joking -at least in part.
"Hmm." She hummed with a smile at him, "I think he's going to win the election."
Jim opened his mouth to tell her that he didn't want to spend the morning debating politics with her; especially when there was no possible way they were come to an agreement on the matter.
Not while she was still claiming Oswald as her best friend.
"We'll see." Jim replied with yet another shrug.
Bird stared at him in silence as she took another drink of her coffee.
Did he really not already suspect the election was going to be rigged? That money was padding the pockets of people with the power to make sure Oswald was going to be the city's new mayor?
After everything Jim had gone through and there was still a part of him that believed the law would win; Bird didn't have a clue how people could hold onto hope like that.
"Yep." She nodded, "We'll see."
Jim's eyes narrowed inquisitively at her.
There it was again. The feeling that she knew more than he did and wasn't planning on filling him in.
He watched her as she again checked the time.
A press conference-slash-rally for Oswald's campaign was starting in about an hour and Bird had made it a point to tell him this more than once that morning. Offering just as many times to accompany him to the police station instead of going to the political event.
The last they'd spoke of it, he'd assured her he'd be fine to head to the police station alone and she said she was going to the rally but would keep her phone on the entire time if he needed something.
Yet here they sat nearly an hour after coming to that agreement and she hadn't taken a step closer to the door.
He was about to reassure he was going straight to the police station to talk to Alice and see what she knew about how to break the spell her brother had put him under, when there was a knock at the door.
Setting the cup of the coffee down on the counter, he walked over to answer it.
"Morning." Bullock loudly greeted as Jim opened the door.
His former partner breezed inside the house past him.
"Harv? Hey…" Jim started to ask him what he was doing there so early before Bird spoke before he got the chance.
"About time." She said with a tight smile.
Jim looked back to see she was no longer sitting at the table. She was now standing in the living room with them, her purse already slung up on her shoulder.
Now he understood why Bird hadn't left and kept checking the time. She'd been waiting on Bullock.
"You called Harvey to babysit me?" Jim realized.
"Come on." Bullock slapped a heavy hand on the back of Jim's shoulder, "You and me heading into GCPD. It'll be just like old times."
Jim did his best to offer up a friendly smile in his direction, but fell the gesture fell short.
Not only had Bird called someone to keep an eye on him, but apparently had also filled Bullock in on what was going on and didn't trust him to be alone.
"Don't be mad." Bird stepped up to him, much closer than necessary, "He's just going to make sure you stay alive while I'm gone at the press rally."
"Yeah." Bullock practically snorted, "Penguin for mayor."
With an abrupt head-turn, Bird shot the detective a look that could have scorched the earth where he stood.
Then with the same abruptness she faced Jim again. An expectant look on her face.
"I understand." Jim agreed. His gaze falling to the floor and then back up to her face when she didn't say anything or go anywhere.
"I'm not mad." His eyebrows raised. Not sure what she was waiting on him to say at this point.
He still wasn't exactly happy she'd called someone to watch him while she away, but he understood.
At this point he couldn't entirely trust himself.
Bird's eyebrows shot upwards on her forehead. Matching his expression but still not speaking.
Still waiting for something.
When she cocked her head ever so slightly to one side and continued to stare at him with barely any open space between them, Jim finally understood.
She was waiting on him to kiss her.
More so daring him to. After all she knew he wasn't one for public displays of affection.
Leaning in, Jim pressed his mouth to hers.
Dare accepted.
With a smile on her lips. Bird stepped back from the kiss and said, "I'll call you when the rally is over."
Jim nodded.
She started out the door, but then stooped in the doorway and looked back to Bullock.
"I got it." He spoke before she could. Knowing what she was going to say about him keeping Jim off the ledge until she could meet back up with him.
Jutting a thumb to his own chest be promised, "Uncle Harvey's got this. Don't worry."
Her nose wrinkled. She'd asked him several times to stop referring to himself as Uncle Harvey.
Once she was out of sight, Bullock looked back to Jim, who avoided his eyes and said, "I'll grab my coat."
"Yeah. Yeah." Bullock called after him.
Now alone in the living room, Bullock took his hat off and rubbed a hand through his hair.
The city seemed to be going to hell again. Not that it ever stopped; but the bad seemed to come in waves.
Not only was Penguin trying to be mayor, but they had a woman in holding at the station with poison in her blood who's brother was obsessed with her and hypnotized Jim into nearly killing himself.
And now, apparently Bird and Jim were back together.
At this point he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing.
Only time would tell.
But he knew it was bound to happen.
He'd tried to warn Jim since day one to stay away from Bird; said she was nothing but bad news.
Just another mark in an infinite list of the times his partner didn't listen to him.
Of course, since then Bullock had grown fond of her too. More than he'd care to admit. Turns out she wasn't all that bad and when it came down to it she'd had their backs numerous times.
Well, except for the time she gave the orders to Zsasz and his crew to light the bar they were in up in a storm of bullets after Butch had crossed them and Penguin's mother got killed.
He still wasn't fully over that; but she had tried to warn them ahead of time to leave. And she was standing there with them. She'd essentially signed her own death warrant that day too when she gave the call.
He was still sure she was crazy, but he had to hand it to her, the girl had guts.
"Ready?" Jim questioned as he slid his coat on while walking back into the room.
"So, you and crazy eyes…?" Bullock asked.
"Yeah." Jim gave a single nod. Decisive. Abrupt.
"Let's get to the station." He nodded towards the still open front door of his house.
The sooner he was able to find out how to reverse what Tetch had done to him the better.
He wasn't sure when the next near miss might happen.
"Sure thing, partner." Bullock slipped his hat back on and followed him outside. Mumbling, "I knew it." Under his breath.
The moment he'd seen Bird back in Gotham he knew it would only be a matter of time before they'd put whatever happened behind them and end up all tangled up in each other again.
He should have hedged a bet, he thought.
That's how sure he was about it.
It seemed like the more they tried to stay away from one another, the more intertwined they got.
Like a fly caught in a spider web. Growing ever more entangled with each escape attempt.
Of course that begged the question of who was spider and who was the fly.
To begin with, he'd have placed all his money on Bird spinning the web, but now he wasn't so sure.
Hell, he thought to himself, maybe at the end of the day all anyone was -was a fly being wrapped in spider's silk.
•••
Bird made it to the her friend's speech just in time.
Of course, the tips of her hair were still damp from her shower and she'd done her make-up surprisingly well in the back of the car on the way.
If she didn't know any better, she'd have sworn her driver was hitting every bump and pothole they passed on purpose.
The building was already packed. Alive with movement and chatter as Oswald's supporters talked among themselves, enjoyed the free refreshments and the press finished setting up both inside by the podium and outside on the street.
A few candid, deer caught in headlights type photos of Bird were snapped just as she made her way inside the event.
Quickly pulling herself to together. She turned on the charm. Wide smiles and gracious handshakes to everyone who came to greet her.
A few people even asked to have their picture taken with her. Just before she'd found Oswald, a little girl came running up to her with a napkin and a marker asking for her autograph.
Such a strange feeling; but since she'd come back to Gotham, more shelters had opened. She'd been in several papers and magazines articles over the last month about all of the good Wayne Enterprises was doing.
Pictures of both her and Oswald had graced the front pages for a few weeks since he'd announced his intent to run for mayor.
They were local celebrities now.
Of course, with the good had also came the bad.
The articles dredging up their pasts.
For every few good pictures published of them, some publication would post mugshots and Arkham intake photos. Summaries of crimes and speculations of current involvement in Gotham's underworld.
The good seemed to outweighing the bad.
For the time being at least, approval ratings were up.
Of course the recent surge of her name skyrocketing to the headlines had a downside.
Renewed interest in her from Jerome's still growing cult following.
She'd far underestimated his affect on people.
She remembered the surge right after he'd been killed.
With the televised debacle the children's hospital benefit had turned into. His death on live TV.
With news stations showing footage over and again, his laugh was echoing through the living rooms of Gotham long after he'd taken his last breath.
She'd expected most of the people who'd gotten obsessed with him to move onto something else within a few months, but she'd been wrong.
Judging by the amount of HA-HA-HA graffiti covering the city -the cult of lunatics practically worshiping him was still growing.
And apparently still obsessively watching the footage from the benefit when he'd cut her -judging from the amount of still frames from that night that kept showing up in her mailbox and even at her office at work.
There was even still the occasional person who'd stroll up to her on the street and repeat the same words Jerome had said that night.
"I think I'm in love." He'd said. Stunned and intrigued by the way she wouldn't show the pain. His hand with the short blade knife had been stained and slick with her blood. "Oh, it's definitely love."
"Bird!" Oswald greeted with a wide yet strained smile, when he found his his best friend, "There you are."
"I thought you were going to miss my speech." He came to a stop facing her.
He was keeping the polite act up but she could see his jaw tense.
"Of course not." Bird shook her head, "Sorry for running late-"
"You weren't home last night." Oswald stepped in closer, "I wanted to go over the speech we wrote one more time, but when I came by you weren't there."
"Jim Gordon?" He guessed before she could say anything or give an excuse.
"Yes, but-" She tried to get a word in, but he wasn't interested in hearing her side.
"No matter." He waved a dismissive hand through the air, "Ed and I rehearsed it. He had some wonderful ideas on how to improve the speech."
"It didn't need improved." Bird's eyes narrowed, "It was perfect."
"It was lacking."
Anger coursed through her veins. She could feel her cheeks starting to burn with it.
Lacking?
She'd sat up helping him write that very speech one night. Went over and changed it so many times she'd went into the office with barely an hour of sleep.
"Oswald." She grabbed onto his arm when it looked as if he was going to turn and walk away from her, "Do you really think it's smart to be changing things last minute. We both agreed it was perfect."
Looking down to where her hand was gripping his arm in an almost painfully tight squeeze, he kept a smile on his lips and repeated, "It. Was. Lacking."
"Mr. Cobblepot! Miss Wayne!" Someone called out.
Immediately, their tense expressions loosened as they turned to the photographer from a local paper who'd called out their names.
They leaned in together to pose for the picture. His arm slid naturally around her and they smiled from ear-to-ear. Looking to be the absolute best of friends who'd never have a disagreement at all.
-Let alone be in the middle of one.
"Mr. Penguin." One of the aides for his campaign, came rushing over to him, clutching a clipboard with an buzz of nervousness thick in the air around him, "They're ready for you."
The aide's eyes widened when he saw Bird, "Miss Bird. You have to take your place."
With that his hand was on her arm and she was being led through the deafening loudness of the crowd. Hundreds of people all talking at once. Cellphones ringing and camera's clicking with blinding flash photography.
"Here." The aide who's name she couldn't remember or had never bothered to remember in the first place, "You'll stand here."
She was pushed into place beside where Edward Nygma was standing.
Just the sight of him was already ruining her day.
Made even worse by the fact that they'd placed him closest to the podium.
Nygma look at her. Pushed his glasses back up on his nose with a single finger and then smiled at her.
And as she watched the smile stretch his cheeks, she was struck at realizing how big his mouth was.
She returned the smile with one of her own innocently enough; when the only thing she could think was how badly in that moment she wanted to knock his teeth out.
"You're late." Nygma smugly pointed out.
Bird couldn't tell if he was trying to piss her off even more or if it was just his odd social skills.
In that moment she didn't care if wasn't on purpose. She wanted to hurt him either way.
Elbow him in the ribs. Stop on his foot.
Childish tantrums threatened to burst her apart at the seams.
She'd been there for Oswald since the day they met and now here he was, finally getting the recognition and attention he'd so desperately craved and Edward Nygma was literally standing between them.
Pulling in a deep breath she tried to calm herself down.
Oswald stepped up the podium and the room fell into silence. Not only was the floor packed shoulder to shoulder, but the stairs were lined with voters ready to sing his praises.
Bird caught Oswald's eye and smiled at him -that was until Nygma took a half-step forward and literally got between them again.
That had to be on purpose. Bird was sure of it.
Her eyes full of rage landed on Nygma.
And she could see him laying bloody on the floor. His cracked glasses strewn alongside his motionless body.
There was a flagpole not far away with a bright American flag on display, a shiny pointed tip on the top of the pole. She imagined impaling him on it.
Shoving it through his stomach; puncturing and rearranging organs.
She thought how easy it would be to take off his stupid green tie and strangle him with it.
His panicked gasps music to her ears by the time it would be done.
A round of applause echoed like thunder around the room and pulled her from the violent thoughts plaguing her mind.
Oswald smiled and nodded in appreciation at the support and Bird realized she hadn't heard a word of his speech.
She'd instead been dreaming up about a hundred ways she could kill and dispose of Nygma.
By the time her brain caught up to her surroundings, her clapping was delayed and drew some unwanted attention.
Oswald pulled in a deep breath. Readying himself for the end of the speech. The home stretch.
That was until the undivided attention in the room split into everyone glancing around at the sound of a phone ringing.
Bird's eyes widened when she felt the ringing vibrations from the black, diamond studded clutch purse she'd brought with her to hold her phone and a few other other things.
Snapping the purse open, she pressed down on every button she could find on the side of the flip phone until it stopped ringing and stood in place until Oswald started back up.
Stealthily flipping the phone open to see who'd called, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was a number she didn't know.
Probably one of Jerome's misguided groupies. She rolled her eyes.
Glancing down from the corner of his eye, Nygma smirked as he questioned, "Lover boy?"
"Shut up." Bird growled under her breath. Catching him both off guard and by surprise.
Snapping the clutch closed, she allowed herself to breathe.
It wasn't Jim or Bullock calling.
Which meant Jim was safe. Hopefully onto a way of curing himself of what Jervis Tetch had done.
"My beloved mother always believed in me." Oswald paused for a photo op, "Even when I doubted myself. She held firm."
Pointing out to the crowd, Oswald continued, "Seeing all of your smiling faces reminds me that there is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it. And when I am mayor, I believe… no; I know, that together, we can make Gotham safe again!"
Nygma's eyes narrowed as something caught his eye from across the room. An exchange of a thick envelope passed from Butch to a man he was sure worked for the election board.
He left his post to go see what was going on and Bird took advantage of the open space to step closer to where Oswald was standing.
The room erupted in cheers and applause as he finished the speech sure to win him the election.
Oswald took a step back from the podium. Bowing and smiling at the crowd.
Then Bird was at his side.
Her fingers intertwining with his. His hands still shaking as she raised their arms up in the air.
Celebrating the soon to be victory together.
Triumphant with thousand watt smiles shining from both of them.
Bird satisfied for the time being. Knowing this was the winning shot they'd use on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.
Just the two of them. No Edward Nygma.
It was several minutes later that the crowed had finally thinned out some. Camera crews had already packed and left.
Bird stood off the to the side and pulled her phone out of her clutch, putting it to her ear to listen to the voicemail from the number she didn't recognize or answer earlier.
"Miss Wayne. This is Captain Nathaniel Barnes of GCPD. There was an incident at the station earlier. I need you to call me back. James Gordon is…"
Bird's heart started to thunder away in her chest. She felt clammy and overheated all at once.
Her eyes wide in terror as she waited to hear the rest of the message.
The captain sighed heavily into the phone, "Look, Jim's alive. But he tried to, uh… I don't know who else to call and Bullock suggested you. So…"
With her phone still open in her hand, Bird walked over to where Oswald was talking to Nygma.
"I assume you know Butch is paying campaign officials to swing the election in your favor?" Nygma questioned. His eyes moving from Oswald's face over to where Bird was approaching them.
"You don't approve?" Oswald stepped closer to him, "My dear Ed, this is Gotham. This is how things are done."
"I have to leave." Bird said as she reached them. Her voice barely came out in a whisper and no one seemed to hear her.
"And in theory I support that… but Oswald don't you see how these people are cheering for you?" Nygma asked.
"Yes." Oswald swayed on his feet some, "They do seem very excited. But why risk it? I want this, Ed. I want this like I've never wanted anything."
"I know." Ed nodded, leaning in close to Oswald's face, "Which is why you need to call off Butch."
"Hey…" Bird tried to cut in, but just couldn't get her voice to raise where anyone could hear her.
She thought this was going to be over. That Alice would know some cure to what her brother did to Jim and that she'd be able to close her eyes without seeing him standing on that ledge again or stepping out in front of a speeding truck.
"Excuse me. Mr. Penguin?" A young girl said in a sugary sweet cotton candy voice.
She had tan skin and dark brunette hair in curled pig tails from under her white hat with a bow on it.
Bird looked over as Oswald turned to greet her, "Well, hello there."
The little girl looked like a living doll.
"I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of the monsters." She added with a bright smile. Her rosy pink cheeks turning to apples as she smiled.
Speechless, Oswald reached a hand out and gently laid it on hr arm with a small appreciative squeeze.
"Do you see?" Oswald turned back to Ed, "People look at me differently now. For the first time in my life I feel wanted."
"Nice doing business with you." The girl held out her greedy little hand. The sweetness gone from her voice.
Pulling a crisp twenty dollar bill from his pocket, Ed handed it to the little girl and she happily bounced away from them.
"And how do you feel now?" Ed questioned.
"I feel like I've misjudged someone who's supposed to be my friend."
"I am your friend." Ed assured him, "I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?"
"I don't care." Oswald choked back emotion, "I don't need a stupid riddle right now. I know what I want. I want to be mayor. Stay out of it Ed. I'm warning you."
Spinning in place, he turned to Bird, as if she was once again the center of his world, "Ready to go? We have that lunch with-"
"I have to go." She apologized, "I wish I could but something came up."
Oswald's eyes fell to the still open cellphone in her hand and he guessed, "Jim Gordon?"
Not even giving her time to answer, he turned and hobbled away, mumbling under his breath about how all anyone does is disappoint him.
Bird started to leave, but then looked back at Nygma.
"I'm trying to help him." He promised.
But Bird didn't buy it. She didn't trust him.
"By being cruel to him?" Bird scoffed, "That's all anyone has ever been to him."
"Except you?" Nygma guessed.
"Yeah." Bird started to turn back around and Nygma called after her, "Absence when someone needs you could be considered just as cruel."
She wanted to scream at him. Turn back around and punch him square in the face. See the bright white collar of his shirt turn red from blood.
But she didn't.
Too many cameras and witnesses around.
Not to mention she was in a rush to get to the GCPD and find out what exactly had happened. Barnes didn't say much from the message, but what he had said wasn't good.
•••
Bird stood with her arms folded across her chest, staring out into the afternoon sun from one of the rooms on the second story of the GCPD building.
Behind where she stood, Jim was asleep in a chair -more like unconscious.
Jervis Tetch had gotten Gotham's most notorious wrestling family, The Terrible Tweeds, to be his muscle and they'd stormed the station earlier that day.
A few officers had been killed, many more injured. Two of the Tweeds died in the fight as well.
Bird was told by Barnes that Tetch pulled out a pocket watch and next thing he knew Jim turned his gun on himself, barrel to the side of his head and had the Captain not knocked him unconscious with his cane, Jim would be dead.
So far that was about one and only thing she ever felt the need to say thank you to Nathaniel Barnes for.
Oswald had called her while she was standing in the room supervising Jim and waiting for him to wake up.
But she hadn't answered. Partly because she was mad at him and felt like he was replacing her with Nygma.
And partly because she already had so much on her mind she didn't think she could handle anything else.
Hearing a groan from behind her, Bird turned around to see Jim was starting to stir.
"Hey…" Bird said when she couldn't think of anything else to say in that moment, "How are you feeling?"
Looking confused, Jim started to try and stand up, to go to her, but he couldn't.
His left wrist had been handcuffed to the chair. He couldn't go anywhere.
"What is this?" Jim tugged on his wrist, the metal cut scraping against the metal chair railing, "What's going on."
"Barnes told me what happened during the attack-" Bird started to fill him in.
But her cut her off, "Nothing happened."
His eyes fell to the floor. He couldn't face her when he said it because it was a lie.
She knew it and he knew it.
"Back to the denial." Bird quietly said.
"Bird. Listen." He was trying to plead with her, but his tone came out gruff, "You have to uncuff me. Tetch took Alice-"
"I didn't cuff you." Bird stubbornly argued, "Barnes did. After he knocked you out to keep you from spraying your brains all over the station, Jim."
Jim closed his eyes. Ran his tongue over his lips and turned his head away from her.
This was not how he pictured the day going at all.
After the nightmare he'd had, he was able to get back to sleep. Actually rest for a few hours and when he woke back up, he felt better.
The future didn't feel so bleak anymore.
Bird was still there next to him. He hadn't dreamt that part.
And he didn't feel like he wanted to die.
For while he even considered the hold Tetch had gotten on him had somehow been broken.
But it wasn't.
The suicidal impulse he'd planted was triggered by ticking and within seconds of seeing the pocket watch, all hope and happiness had been drained from him.
He remembered the cold metal of the gun against the side of his forehead.
Feeling like everything would be so much better if he pulled the trigger.
No more pain.
No more loss.
No more guilt.
No more anything.
"Bird-"
"Jim." She cut him off.
"I have to get out of here. Tetch took Alice. And he's the only one who can reverse what he's done to me." He tried to explain.
As if what he was saying was completely logical.
Never-mind the fact that every time he got around Jervis Tetch he ended up seconds away from killing himself.
"We'll figure something else out." Bird shook her head.
"They want you on a seventy-two hour suicide watch-"
She started to say.
"Three? Three days?" He yelled.
Growing agitated he started roughly pulling at the handcuffs to no avail.
"No. Bird. Listen." His words were choppy. Voice frantic. "I have to get out of here and find Tetch. You -you said you wanted to help me. So help me." He jerked on the handcuffs, "Help me get out of here."
"It's already done." Bird's voice sounded empty. Disconnected.
Detachment for her own well-being and at this point he couldn't blame her.
But he had to get out of there. Had to save Alice and then himself.
And even though he knew none of this was Bird's fault, she was the one standing there. The one telling him no.
He felt trapped.
"Bird-"
"It's done." She repeated, "I'm told that Lee already signed off on it."
"No. I have to get out of here-"
"They're going to transport you upstate in a few hours for the…" Her mouth went dry, "For the suicide watch. I…I-" Running her hands through her hair she stammered, "I don't know where exactly. Barnes wouldn't tell me."
She kept talking. Wouldn't listen to him and he didn't know the right words to say to make her understand.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Jim couldn't stop himself from asking, "I'm trying to tell you why I need your help and you aren't listening to me."
"I'm listening." Bird bit down on the side of her tongue so hard it bled. The coppery taste tinged on her tongue, "But you're asking me to set you free so that you can track down the same person who keeps getting you to try and kill yourself."
"That's not gonna happen." He promised.
Determined he'd beat this.
"But it could." Bird sighed, "Three times in the last two days I've came within minutes of losing you forever. If Alice hadn't showed up when she did on the roof -you'd be dead. If I hadn't pulled you out of the street -you'd be dead. If Barnes had been seconds slower to react today -you'd be dead."
"And I'm not doing anything to you." She continued stepping closer, "But you are. You're asking me to uncuff you and set you free when there's a fifty/fifty chance you're going to have another brush with suicide and what if no one gets to you quick enough this time, huh?"
"No." She shook her head. Arms falling weakly at her sides. "You can't ask that of me."
Bird eyed the door and Jim knew he had to get through to her before she left.
"I'm asking you to trust me." Jim clarified.
Reaching out he had to strain some, but was able to reach her hand.
"Trust me." He repeated, "You've always had my back. And I know it sounds like a lot this time, but you have to believe me, I can beat this-"
She leaned down. Cutting off his pleas with her own mouth when she pressed a kiss to his lips.
Pulling back she stared at him.
Wondering if the situation were reversed what would he do?
Let her be sent away for her own good to keep her alive or trust her enough to let her do she wanted, even if it came at the risk of losing her for good.
Bird didn't know and it wasn't as if she could ask him and get an honest answer.
He'd say he'd let her make her own choice. At this rate it looked like he'd say anything to get what he wanted; to be set free.
Leaning in, she kissed him once more, before turning and leaving the room.
"Bird!" He yelled after her. Trying to get up once again as if he'd already forgotten he was was cuffed to the chair and couldn't go anywhere.
Closing his eyes, he sank back into the chair. Exhaling a large sigh and giving up on his struggle to be set free.
He didn't know where she was going. If she was going to get someone to let him go or if she was leaving.
Possibly even to track down Jervis Tetch on her own.
Something else that terrified him. It wasn't so unusual for Bird to seem like she already had a foot off the ledge at times like it wouldn't take much to send her over.
His heart picked up speed.
What if she found Tetch on her own and he got inside her mind?
Would he plant a suicidal impulse in her as well or bring something else out?
"Hey!" Jim loudly yelled turning his head around and straining to see the closed door of the room.
Hoping that someone would hear him.
He needed out. Not only for himself. Not only to save Alice from her brother.
But now he was concerned about Bird as well.
•••
Bullock was walking towards his desk, a small stack of files in one hand and a cup of stale tasting coffee in the other.
He came to a stop, his eyes growing a little wide as he saw Bird was standing there. Waiting on him.
Trying to act natural and not draw attention, he turned around and stared back the other way, but it was too late. He'd already been spotted.
"Bullock!"
"Hey…" He cheesed a smiled as he turned back around and continued on his original path to his desk.
"What the hell happened?" Bird's eyebrows were lowered in anger.
She'd called him that morning because she was afraid for Jim to be on his own and Bullock had promised he wouldn't let Jim out of his sight. That he'd keep him alive. Keep him safe.
"You had one job, Bullock." She grumbled at him.
"Actually…" He argued, "I have this job here. See-" He motioned around them, "And I did what I said would. Jim's alive, isn't he?"
"Thanks to Barnes." She reminded him.
He could have argued more with her. Pointed out that the station was under attack from a wrestling family and that fellow officers had been severely injured in the confrontation. That he'd been fighting for his own life.
But he felt bad. He felt guilty.
Jim had told him several times that morning that he was fine. That he was feeling better and he looked fine.
Bullock had believed him enough that he hadn't truly kept him in sight at all times like he'd promised to do.
Bird blinked rapidly, diverting her gaze away from him and down to the floor.
It wasn't Bullock's fault.
Taking in a deep breath she asked, "What now?"
"We got one of the Tweeds." Bullock nodded towards the interrogation room, "I'm gonna talk to him. Sweat him for a while and see if I can get a location on where Tetch might be hiding out."
"I mean about Jim." She clarified. Taking a step closer and lowering her voice, "Where are they taking him for the suicide watch? Are we really letting that happen?"
"I don't know." Bullock eyed her.
The only time they ever became a 'we' was when it came to Jim.
"About any of it." He added.
"He all but begged me to uncuff him so he can track down Tetch." Bird shook her head, "I don't know what to do. A part of me says I need to trust him and the other part is worried about what could happen and I…"
Her voice trailed off.
"Well, if it were up to me…" Bullock began, "Jim's always had my back. I figure I'd owe him the same."
"But." He continued, "Not like we could just uncuff him and walk right outa the station. Barnes, he's watching us like a hawk." Subtly he nodded up towards the Captain's office, "Have to wait until he's being transported."
"You just told me you don't where they're sending him." Bird reminded him.
"I don't. Far as I know only two people do. Barnes and then the doctor who signed off on it." Bullock said as he tucked his hands in his pockets and gave a half-hearted attempt a shrug.
"Lee." Bird blew out a breath, "You're going to have to talk to her."
"Not me." He picked up the files he'd laid down on his desk and took a few steps backwards, "I've got a date with one of the Terrible Tweeds."
Motioning to her with the the manila folders, he called out, "No law against a citizen having a conversation with the M.E."
Bird let out an audible groan.
There was no way she'd be able to convince Barnes to spill the beans on which facility they were going to be sending Jim to.
That left Lee.
Someone Bird planned on seeing as little as possible, even if the other woman was about to marry into her family.
•••
Lee looked up when she heard a knock on the open door of her office.
"Bird?" She greeted her expression falling into a look verging between confusion and concern.
"Lee. Hey." Bird smiled as she stepped into the office.
Lee's eyes went to the paper cup branded with the logo from the coffee shop around the corner in Bird's hand, which she was holding out like a peace offering.
"Caramel macchiato, right?" Bird offered up another smile. Half-pride at her own memory from when they'd had coffee together a while ago and trying to appear friendly.
"Thanks…" Lee carefully took the cup from her and sat it down on her desk.
Bird's sudden attempt at warm friendliness had only managed to unsettle Lee, who shifted uncomfortably on her feet and tried to think of a polite way to ask what she wanted.
Bird read her like an open book. Able to see immediately how on edge and unsettled Lee was from her being there.
Though she wasn't entirely sure if it was because Lee still felt bad for the things she'd said to her before or if it had more to do with Bird's sudden switch from avoiding her to a random act of kindness.
Bird looked down to her feet and thought about trying to lighten the mood. Nearly cracked a joke about how the coffee was safe to drink, that poison wasn't really her style.
But she refrained. She, herself, thought it was funny. But often her humor only managed to make other people more uncomfortable.
"I don't mean to be rude." Lee cleared her throat. The ticking of her high heels slow and steady against the floor as she stepped out from her behind her desk and walked closer, but still kept a distance between them, "But do you need something?"
Realizing exactly how rude that sounded when Bird was apparently really making an effort to be nice, Lee shook her head, "I just mean that the last time I tried to talk to you, you seemed like you couldn't wait to get away and now… here we are."
Bird pursed her lips together.
She could try to be charming. Bring about some small talk and feign interest in the upcoming wedding.
But she was a direct person by nature and always preferred to get down to the point other than beating around the bush.
And truthfully, she felt like the peace offering of the espresso based drink was a nice enough gesture on her part.
"I know you're the one who signed off on putting Jim on a suicide watch." Bird said.
When she saw Lee quickly gear up a defense, Bird held up a hand and added, "I get it. You're just doing your job and this isn't the first time he's tried to kill himself in the last few days."
"Then why are you here?" Lee crossed her arms over her chest, "If you understand why I signed off on it… what do you want from me?"
"I need to know which facility he's being taken to." Bird admitted.
"Oh." Lee seemed relieved, "Typically after he's admitted, they'll reach out, let you know if and when he's allowed visitors and-"
"No." Bird cut her off, "I need to know where he's going and which officers are taking him there."
"Why?"
"So I can stop it before he gets admitted."
"Are you kidding?" Lee stepped a little closer, "Please tell me that this is some attempt a joke. I signed off on it because he needs help. He needs constant supervision to keep him safe."
"And what happens after the seventy-two hours, Lee?" Bird pushed, "When that impulse Tetch planted is still there? Then what? He can't very well live the rest of his life on suicide watch."
"Captain Barnes is looking for Jervis Tetch." Lee explained, "When they arrest him, we'll have the answers we need to help Jim."
"And when is that going to happen?" Bird's eyebrows raised.
"The best officers here are on the case-"
"Jim is the best." Bird argued, her head cocked to one side, "We both know if anyone can track Tetch down, it's going to be Jim."
"That's your plan?" Lee nearly laughed, "Let Jim be the one to hunt down the very same person who's made him suicidal?"
"No." Lee continued, shaking her head as she spoke, "It's too dangerous. It's reckless. Alice said that when the first hypnosis was broken that the impulse should have vanished, but it didn't."
"Because Tetch didn't just plant something in Jim's mind." Bird nodded, "He brought something to the surface that was already there. I know."
"Then how-" Lee stammered, "How does this sound like a sound decision to you?
"Because I'm choosing to trust Jim." Bird admitted.
In that moment making the decision that she would help him.
She'd came there to find out information and planned on talking to Bullock again, but she hadn't fully made up her mind on what was best. Not until then.
"It's his decision to make and if he says the only way he'll be free of this is go after Tetch. Then I have to respect that. It's his life." Bird said.
The words leaving her mouth felt like they'd opened up a black hole in her stomach.
Hollow and empty. Holding nothing but fear and anxiousness.
It's one thing to love someone.
It's something entirely different to love and trust someone enough to respect their choices when the cost of it going south could be losing them.
Lee's mouth hung open. She didn't know what to say.
On one hand Bird's argument sounded like the most logical thing she'd heard all day; but also the craziest, in the way that Jim wasn't exactly in the shape to make those decisions.
"Bird." Lee cleared her throat, "If you really care about him then-"
"Don't." Bird cut her off in an instant. Her eyes appearing shades darker than seconds before as she raised her head and locked eyes with her, "Don't ever question how much I care about him."
She came just short of pointing out that she was there trying to go about this the right way instead of using threats of violence or sneaking about to get the information she needed.
"Okay." Lee conceded on that end. "But what if this doesn't work out?"
"Then I guess it's on me, huh?" Bird gave a weak shrug.
"And you could live with that?" Lee asked.
"It's going to work out." Bird argued, "And it's not like he'll be going after Tetch entirely on his own. Bullock and I will be there."
Lee's head dropped forward and she let out a sigh of defeat.
She remembered a time when she once whole-heartedly believed in Jim too.
Turning back to her desk, Lee turned the clipboard with the transfer information towards her and copied it down on a dark pink sticky note, which she then pulled from the pad of matching sticky notes and handed it over to Bird.
"Thank you." Bird sincerely said.
Just as she turned to leave and meet back up with Bullock, Lee called after her, "Alice told me her brother's way into someones mind is much deeper than just hypnosis. That he prays on anger and regret and fear."
Nervously, she wrung her hands in front of her and shrugged, "I don't know how much help knowing that is going to be to you or Jim. But I hope it helps."
"Thanks." Bird nodded.
"And I really, really hope you're making the right decision here." Lee's voice echoed after her.
Bird didn't turn back. Didn't say anything else to her.
Instead she headed out into the police station in search of Bullock. Who was lingering by the water cooler trying to look and act natural, knowing Barnes had been watching him.
"There you are." He called out when he saw Bird. Crumpling the paper cup in his hand, he tossed it into the nearby waste basket and told her, "The transport van left about seven minutes ago. You get anything?"
"Here." Bird handed him the pink sticky noted and Bullock looked at it.
When he read who the officers were in charge of the transport, he smiled a cocky grin. One of them owed him a favor and it was time to call it in.
"I got this." He folded the note up and started for the door, "Figure I'll call in a favor. See if these two feel like taking a long lunch on the way to the psych place."
"I'll call." He repeated with his phone already out in his hand he repeated, "You drive."
•••
The next hour went off without a hitch.
The officers transporting Jim, agreed it sounded like a good day to take a long lunch.
That was going to be story at least; they'd stopped off for some food and while they were inside Jim got away.
Armed with the information Bullock had gotten from one of the Tweed brothers, they had a pretty good idea about where to find Jervis and Alice Tetch.
But they were on borrowed time. Knowing it was only a matter of time before Barnes figured it out for himself and would show up with the rest of the police force as cavalry.
With Bullock now behind the wheel, Jim was in the passenger seat and Bird was sitting in the center of the backseat.
The drive to the building had been mostly silent -aside from trying to figure out the best plan of attack.
Bullock shut the headlights off as they neared the warehouse they were looking for. The car slowed until they were just barely creeping down the side street.
"We got movement." Jim announced as he saw a shadow move in front of the window on the second level. Blocking the lighting from inside out for a few seconds.
Nodding Bullock shut the car engine off and let out a heavy breath, "I'll take that side." He motioned towards the right, "You take the other and we'll meet in the back."
"Yeah." Bird cleared her throat, "We'll catch up in a minute."
Bullock glanced over his shoulder at Bird and then over to Jim for a moment before he got out of the car and left them alone.
"We need to talk." Bird said once they were alone.
"No good conversation starts that way." Jim answered as he turned sideways in the passenger seat so he could see her better.
"I know." She couldn't help but smile, "But still."
Pulling in a deep breath she began, "I know you think Tetch is the only one who can fix what he did to your head-"
"You don't think so?" Jim interrupted.
"I think there's another way." Bird said, "I think it's you."
His eyebrows lowered in confusion.
If only it were so easy than he'd have never been hypnotized in the first place or it would have been broken right after that night on the roof.
"Look…" Bird breathed upon seeing the expression that had taken over his face, "Lee told me that Tetch preys on anger and regret and I think the only real way for you to stop what he's done to you is to let go of it."
Her voice lowered some, "Trust me. I know the amount of harm living with all of that inside of you can do."
"It's not that simple, Bird."
"I know." She agreed, "But it's not impossible either."
Jim stared at her.
It was impossible or at least it felt impossible -for someone like him, at least.
On several occasions Bird had reminded him of the differences in who they were.
She'd flat out admitted that she had to work at caring about other people.
Back when they'd first met, Jim wasn't even sure Bird was capable of feeling remorse for the things she'd done and the pain she'd caused in other peoples lives.
Of course he knew better than that now; now he knew her, the real her.
But still; she was telling him to let go of things he couldn't and while it may not be impossible for her, he wasn't so sure it was something within reach for himself,
"Okay." He nodded. Voice empty. Eyes avoiding hers.
"We should catch up with Bullock." Jim added, opening the car door and stepping out into the evening air.
As much as he was hoping the night would end with the suicidal impulse gone and Alice safe; he didn't know for sure things would turn out right and he didn't want to fight with Bird.
"Wait!" She called out, scrambling to the passenger side of the car to to get out of the backseat and stop him.
"Even if we get Jervis Tetch to undo the damage, it's not going to fix everything." Bird's voice raised as she now stood beside the car.
Jim quickly stepped closer. Reminding her to keep her voice down. They had no idea who or what would be waiting for them inside of the building and the last thing they needed was for Bird to give away their location.
The element of surprise might be the only thing working on their side. If they lost that; they could lose everything.
"Well!" She tossed her arms out to the sides, "You think if we get him to undo the hypnosis that you're going to be happy again? No. Even with the suicidal impulse gone… you'd still be full of anger and regret and guilt and all those things that open up a black hole inside of you. You are the only one who can set yourself free, Jim."
He watched her as she crossed an arm over her chest and rubbed the back of her own shoulder.
The shoulder where he'd seen the tattoo she'd gotten in her time away from Gotham.
Freedom.
He thought to himself.
While she'd slept he'd laid awake mesmerized by the dark ink on her skin. Wondering what it meant to her and now he had his answer.
"Your tattoo." He nodded with his head towards her shoulder.
"Yeah." She managed a smile, "Have you ever seen anything more free than a bird in flight?"
"I hear you. Okay?" Jim moved in even closer, "And you're probably right, but I don't know how. I don't even know where to begin." He swallowed hard. Choking down emotion and fear.
"By facing it head on." Bird answered, "All of the stuff that you don't want to. The things that are eating you alive. You have to let go."
He knew what she meant. He needed to face the things he'd done and that had been done to him.
The pain. The uncomfortable things they didn't talk about.
The life he'd envisioned for himself was gone.
He was going to be a a father and then he wasn't. He'd lost a child. Pushed Lee away and hurt her in ways he knew he could never fix.
The career that he'd given his all too and nearly lost his life for crumbled and shattered.
Nearly everyone he thought he could count on had turned against him. Believed he'd committed the crimes he'd framed for.
Everything had slipped through his hands. Right through his fingers like a handful of sand.
And when he felt like he'd lost everything and everyone, he'd looked up and Bird was there.
She'd risked her own and life and freedom to save him from Blackgate. Stayed by him in the times he'd found it hard living in his own skin.
But then she was gone too.
Any last traces of hope or happiness vanished with her in the middle of the night.
In her absence he'd hit rock bottom.
It felt like the world would stop spinning; but it didn't.
That's the thing about life -it just keeps going on, no matter how hard you fall.
The world keeps moving around you even when you're stuck in place.
"You have to let go of what you thought life was going to be." Bird cleared her throat, "How do you expect to keep going if you don't?"
Startled, his eyes met hers. It was almost as if she could read his mind.
Bird's own mind drifted back to one of the last times she'd seen her mom before her parents' were killed.
A lunch together that Bird had begrudgingly agreed to and then rushed to get through. She remembered what her mom had told her and how strangely fitting those words were now.
So relevant to the situation she currently found herself in.
"You aren't the worst act you've committed…" She breathed under her breath, before her eyes fluttered back up to meet his.
Reaching up, Bird held onto his face. Her fingers lay cold against his cheeks.
"You aren't the worst thing you've ever done, Jim. Or the worst thing that's happened to you." Her eyes were locked with his. It was almost uncomfortable and unnerving the way she looked at him sometimes.
He wasn't used to feeling that vulnerable.
But it was like she could see right into him. All of him.
A nakedness that went far beyond the flesh.
"You're not." She repeated, "But you are the total sum of every decision you've made. Both good and bad. The right choices and the wrong ones made you into who you are in this moment."
"I didn't get you out out of that suicide watch because I believe Tetch can or will fix what he's done." Bird admitted, "I did it because you asked me to trust you and I do. I did it because I believe in you and because I love you…"
The end of her sentence was spoken in muffled words against Jim's mouth as she leaned in. Pressing her lips to his and forcing herself to believe that it wouldn't be last time.
•••
A/N - Thank you all for reading. I know this update took a while, but hopefully you'll think it was worth the wait?
I want to thank everyone who has added this story to your favorites and/or subscribed for update alerts!
And an extra special thank you to: xenocanaan, AGBreads, Shadow knight1121, SmellYourScentForMiles, Katniss789, Love. Fiction. 2018, Munyue, ThatMysteriousSlime, Havana, DancingDorisDay, Littledot, xxXWolfsLullabyXxx and to the Guest who reviewed the last chapter.
Turns out trying to balance my new job and staying up with writing and updating is tougher than I'd anticipated. So please know how much the interest in the story and feedback you're giving me is keeping me inspired and focused on still writing and posting!