September 7th, 1995
"Mum," Saphira hissed.
Mary woke up with a start, clutching Saphira to her chest. "Wha-"
In the dim firelight, Snape sat in the chair across from her, holding his head in his hands.
"Professor?" Mary whispered, sitting up with a pained groan and placing Saphira on the couch next to her. "Are you okay?"
Snape didn't answer and Mary felt her heart clench. The leatherbound journal sat on the table between them. Not the sixth book, but the seventh.
"Shit," Mary said under her breath.
It was one thing for Aunt Minnie to read the journals, knowing that Gryffindor house would be okay. That the war would end with Voldemort's death. But Snape. Snape didn't survive in Harry's world. Reading about your death wasn't easy. Mary knew that first hand. He'd fought his colleagues, watched his students side with Voldemort, and died to protect Harry.
"It won't happen like that, sir," Mary said, resisting the urge to comfort him lest she be hexed. "You're safe. You're not a spy anymore."
"Shut up, Potter," Snape said through clenched teeth.
Mary bit her lip to keep herself from saying more.
"How dare you keep this to yourself?!" Snape shouted, grabbing the journal and flinging at the far wall. "How dare you sit there and act as though everything is fine?!"
A snort escaped her. "It's never been fine, sir. But I have little choice in the matter now, do I?"
"Get out." Snape pointed to the door. "Classes start in an hour."
"Sir, I-"
"Out, Potter!" Snape's dark eyes lifted and the rage in their depths set her teeth on edge.
Mary stood, scooping Saphira into her arms, and walked out of Snape's quarters. Heart hammering against her ribs, she trudged through the corridors, trying to keep the Cloak from revealing her feet.
She fucked everything up and he hated her for. That was evident in his tone, his eyes, his complete dismissal of her. They'd gotten to a point where they tolerated and respected each other to an extent and she let her secrets fuck it sideways.
The urge to use the Time-Turner to go back and burn the journal before he could read it boiled in her gut. It would simplify everything. But McGonagall knew. She would tell him the truth. There was no escaping it. The reality of it all had to be borne. Snape hated her now more than ever. It hurt, but almost everything did these days.
Mary opened the door to Remus's quarters and set Saphira on the floor, watching as she toddled toward the kitchen.
"I know," Mary said, trying to smile. "I'll get breakfast ready in a minute."
Before she could close the door, a presence caught her attention. Mary spun, wand in hand, only to be greeted with Rolf's worried gaze.
He lifted his hands in a sign of surrender. "Mary? Are you okay?"
Mary holstered her wand and scrubbed her face. "Yeah, sorry. You scared me."
"I've been worried about you," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry," Mary said again. "It was a rough night."
"I'm aware," Rolf said gently, pulling her into a light hug. "News of the attack spread quickly."
"Shit!" Mary hissed. "Is it in the Prophet?"
Rolf patted her back. "Yes, but you're not mentioned at all."
"Oh," Mary said, letting a whoosh of air escape her lungs. "That's alright then."
"Promise me that you're okay?" Rolf took a step back, his hands on her shoulders and his eyes inspecting her. "No injuries?"
"Nothing a little sleep can't fix," Mary said, yawning wide.
Rolf kissed her forehead and leaned back, a smile on his lips. "You should rest. I'll make sure Saphira has breakfast before I go to my office."
"Thanks," Mary said through another yawn. "Will I see you tonight?"
"Of course," he hugged her once more. "Sleep well, Mary."
Feet dragging, Mary barely had the energy to climb into her bed. Mary flipped the Time-Turner to take her back the full twelve hours before exhaustion won out and sleep pulled her under.
"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius yelled, his smile faltering as the spell hit him, knocking him back into the Veil.
A flash of green burned into her eyes as Hedwig fell limply into the darkness.
"Here, I've got a picture." Remus proudly held out a picture of a baby with a tuft of turquoise hair.
"Where's Remus?" Tonks asked frantically, her eyes searching the crowd.
Blood cascaded down Snape's neck. "Look…at…me."
Snape's onyx eyes flashed red and Mary snapped up in her bed, sweat beading down her face.
"Fuck!"
Hedwig clicked her beak in reproach of her foul language.
"Sorry," Mary muttered under her breath, peeling the heavy blankets back and standing.
Her hand shook as she ran her fingertips over the soft feathers. "Don't ever leave me, Hedwig. Not for anything, okay?"
Hedwig let out a small chirp in response, her yellow eyes following Mary as she readied herself for the day.
Half an hour later she stood outside of Professor Bagshot's classroom, waiting for her classmates to arrive.
"There you are," Ron said, walking up with his arm slung around Hermione's shoulder. "Did you-"
Hermione elbowed him hard in the side, her eyes darting to Malfoy and his cronies approach. "Do you have your paragraph?"
Mary summoned it from her bag, letting the scroll land lightly in her palm. "Edited twice."
"Good." Hermione's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "It was a difficult assignment, wasn't it Mary?"
Hermione's tone was odd, as was the pointed stare she pinned her with.
"I found it to be fairly simple," Mary replied, walking in when the door opened.
"Oh?" Hermione asked, taking the seat next to her. "How so?"
"Quiet, everyone!" Professor Bagshot asked, walking around her desk. "Please place your paragraphs on your desk and open your textbooks to page forty-seven."
Everyone opened their books in obvious confusion, each looking at the small scrolls that they'd worked so hard on. Mary let out a breath, the tension in her shoulders easing as she listened to Professor Bagshot meticulously narrate the Goblin Wars.
She was so engrossed with the subject that the sight of the scroll twitching out of the corner of her eye startled her. It zoomed through the air and Mary's hand shot out like a viper's strike, catching it before it could leave her reach.
All eyes were on her. She turned to the front, the scroll wriggling in her hand, to see Professor Bagshot watching her with a smirk on her face and her wand held aloft.
"Outstanding Seeker reflexes, Miss Potter," Professor Bagshot said with a grin. "Your paragraph, if you don't mind?"
Mary let go of the scroll, watching it land gracefully on the desk next to the others. "My apologies, Professor."
Bathilda nodded and returned to her reading. Mary felt Hermione's knee bump her own and cut her gaze to see the worry in Hermione's eyes. Mary followed her gaze and immediately tugged at her sleeve to cover the reddened skin.
Professor Bagshot cleared her throat to gain their attention. "On Monday, I will have a quiz on the conclusion of the Goblin Wars. This will count for a tenth of your grade in this class. Please finish the supplemental readings and study. Class is dismissed."
Mary stuffed her textbook back in her bag and stood, waiting for Ron and Hermione to follow suit. Hermione grasped her arm lightly, as though afraid to let go of her as they walked back into the corridor.
Once they were clear of the others, Hermione spun around to face her. "Are you okay?"
"What are you talking about?" Mary asked, straightening her robes.
"You're dead pale, mate," Ron whispered, opening the door to an unused classroom and checking inside.
"Like you've seen a ghost," Hermione said, grasping her hand and peeling back the sleeve. "What happened, Mary?"
"I'm fine," Mary said with a sigh, trying not to think of the ghosts that haunted her. "It was just a long night."
"We heard," Ron said, crossing his arms. "Were you hurt?"
"A few burns." Mary brushed off his concern. "Your dad and brothers are okay. Charlie got a few cuts and bruises, but he'll be fine."
Ron sat down heavily. "That's good to hear."
"Yeah," Mary replied, thinking of the families that wouldn't be receiving good news.
"Are you sure you're well enough to attend classes?" Hermione asked, still holding her hand. "I'm sure the teachers will understand."
"I'm fine," Mary said, pulling free and standing.
The rest of the day was a blur of Mary going from class to class on autopilot. She would listen and take notes, but her mind was elsewhere. Harry's memories clung to her like a dark cloud, washing the world around her in a haze of grey that drowned out what little joy she usually experienced at the start of each year.
"Will you be joining us in the library for our study sessions?" Neville asked as they walked to dinner. "You missed last nights'."
"I have detention with Snape again." Mary shook her head, taking her seat at the fifth year table. "I'll be sure to be there tomorrow though."
The Great Hall was full, but dinner had yet to appear when a storm of owls dove in. Students gasped, fearing the worst as the post was usually delivered with breakfast.
"It's an early edition of the Daily Prophet!" One of the firsties yelled.
Mary felt her heart stop when Artemis landed on the table in front of George.
Ron and Ginny both stood, staring at their brother.
"Here you lot," George called them over, flipping through the stack and sending the letters hurling toward their recipients. "Ron, Gin, Granger, there you go Fred."
Ron caught his letter and sat down, his eyes scanning the single page. "He's okay. Dad and Bill are staying there until everything's worked out with the wards."
"Oh," Hermione let out a small laugh. "It's just a response to my last letter. He didn't want his owl to have to make an extra trip."
Mary frowned, staring at Artemis as though the owl would make another letter magically appear. Suddenly, Snape appeared, guiding Malfoy and Parkinson to the side door. Lucius' arrest was unlikely to make the front page, as it'd be unwise to call attention to the fact that the Death Eaters had gotten that close to destroying the Romanian Reserve and freeing the dragons. Still though, Mary wondered what would happen to the two Slytherins.
A familiar hand on her shoulder pulled her from her mental battle and she turned to find a very tired Remus standing behind her. "Sirius would like to speak with you after dinner."
Mary scanned the Great Hall. "Where is he?"
"At the Ministry," Remus said in a whisper.
"Should I call him now?" Mary moved to stand.
"It's fine, Mary Jane." He squeezed her shoulder and pinned her with a pointed look. "It can wait until after dinner."
Dinner however, was not an enjoyable affair. Mary picked at her steak and kidney pie until Hermione had the nerve to take the plate away.
"Honestly Mary, if you're just going to massacre the food, leave it alone."
"Sorry," Mary said with a sigh, tossing the shrapnel of her scone onto the plate. "I'm going to see what Sirius wants. I'll see you both at class in the morning."
"Don't forget about detention," Hermione said. "And Professor Babbling wants us to bring a personal object."
"I remember, Hermione," Mary said with a sigh, pulling her rucksack onto her shoulder. "You lot have a good night."
"Quidditch tryouts are on Saturday, Potter!" Angelina called out. "Don't forget! And for the love of Circe, don't show up half-dead!"
Mary waved her hand, walking out of the Great Hall with a heavy heart. Charlie hated her. Ami hated her. Her housemates were scared of her. Her team didn't trust her not to let them down. Her parents were likely disappointed in her.
A melancholy haze followed her through the castle, casting her world in grey as the weight of it all settled on her shoulders. The excitement and normalcy that usually accompanied her to Hogwarts was absent. All that remained was a sense of foreboding that grew with each passing hour since Voldemort's return.
As per usual, Remus' quarters were empty when she arrived. No sign of Tonks' with the way she left her belongings strewn across every surface. None of Remus' teacups on the tables or books stacked haphazardly on the couch. Not even Hedwig was there to greet her, the perch empty next to the open window.
A small squeak pulled her from her useless brooding. "Bacon!"
The guinea pig ambled out of his habitat, looking up at her with expectant eyes.
Mary grimaced dramatically and summoned a cucumber from the cold box and made quick work of cutting a few small pieces off.
"Here you go," Mary said, placing Bacon on her bed.
Ten minutes later she was changed into her work robes and ready for another round of brewing. Taking the opportunity to do something stupid, she popped a couple of Weasley's Wishful Wintergreens into her mouth. A little Pepper-Up couldn't hurt either. With that in mind, she poured herself a small glass of firewhiskey and drained it in one pull.
Mary pulled the mirror out of her pocket and set it on the counter, staring at her gaunt reflection for a moment longer than necessary. "Sirius Black."
"Mary," Sirius said, rubbing his face. "How are you?"
"I've been better," Mary said honestly. "You?"
"About the same, kiddo." Sirius picked up a stack of papers and shuffled through them. "The new recruits are more difficult to train than I could have imagined."
Mary winced. "That bad?"
"Worse," Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I was hoping you could help me with that."
"How so?" Mary asked, leaning towards the mirror.
"That spell spitting thing Fred and George made for your birthday," Sirius said, an odd gleam in his eyes. "Would you mind me borrowing it?"
"Er, uh, well, I kinda modified it." Mary scrunched up her nose. "Not that there was anything wrong with the HexBox360. I just-"
"Modified how?" Sirius asked with a disgruntled tone. "I thought we talked about not-"
"Okay, Okay!" Mary held her hands up. "I'm sorry! I was experimenting again. But nothing went wrong! I swear!"
"Sweet Merlin, kid!" Sirius yelled. "That's not the point!"
"Take it!" Mary waved her hands in exasperation. "It works fine, by the way. I used Walburga's broken pensieve to add a realistic element to the device."
"Go on," Sirius said through gritted teeth.
Mary shrugged her shoulders. "It's more fun to hex ghostly Death Eaters."
Sirius slapped a palm to his face. "Of course it is."
"I'll leave it here on the counter," Mary said after a moment of tense silence. "Uh, I better go. Snape'll be pissed off if I'm late."
"Be careful, kid," Sirius said with a sigh. "I love you."
"Love you too, Snuggly," Mary replied with a small smile, ending the call and placing the mirror in her pocket.
"Would you care to join me on a trip to Snape's?" She picked up Bacon and his dinner.
Bacon didn't reply, something she took as a good sign. Placing her headphones on and cranking up the volume as loud as it would go, she set off towards the dungeons, feeling better about things now that she was on the right track to make a positive difference. If the modified Wolfsbane potion could help Chiara even a little bit during the full moon, she would be happy.
Mary took in a deep breath and steeled herself for what was to come. Snape's reaction to reading the seventh journal was less than pleasant and she had no idea what he would say or do in the hours it would take to finish the potion.
"Enter," Snape said from the other side of the wooden door.
Mary honestly didn't know what she'd do if he said something else. "Why come in, dear girl? Would you care for a spot of tea?" She'd probably faint or consider him possessed.
Snape's sharp eyes snapped to her face. "Are you well, Potter?"
Mary bit her lip to contain the errant giggles. "Fine, sir. And you?"
He stalked toward her, staring at her and sniffing the air. "You're drunk."
Mary rolled her eyes dramatically. "It was one drink. And a little Pepper Up."
"You're wasting my time, Potter!" Snape bit out. "Do you not understand the importance of this potion?"
Mary waved her arms wildly. "I've given you my blood and every free night since term started, sir. I understand the importance completely. But my nerves are on fucking edge. I wouldn't be here if I thought I might do something to compromise the potion. I promise."
"Slice the moonwort," Snape said in a clipped voice. "And be careful, that's the last of my stock."
"Remus and Chiara-"
"Have already received and ingested their dose for the night," Snape finished. "What we prepare now will be for tomorrow."
Mary nodded and set to work, carefully slicing the huge leaf in half and taking only the part that she touched for Chiara's potion. Remus wouldn't be getting the modified Wolfsbane. Not yet. Not ever, if it didn't work.
The two worked in comfortable silence as they had on previous nights. It was mesmerising to work alongside him. The methodical and well timed movements. The way he would adjust the ingredients based on the colour of smoke or the colour of the potion itself. Mary tried to copy him, but lacked both the years of experience and finesse.
Snape didn't speak until both potions were simmering in the protected area of the lab. "I'd prefer it if you refrained from being there when Miss Lobosca drinks this particular brew."
"I have to, sir," Mary said, meeting his eyes. "Good or bad. I have to be there."
"I assumed you'd say as much." Snape held open the door to his quarters.
Mary walked in and found her spot on the couch, digging Bacon and what remained of his dinner from her pocket, before pulling the quilt over her shoulders.
"Your grandmother made that," Snape said, handing her a glass and holding a bottle of Quintin Black rum. "The quilt you habitually steal each time you deem to disrupt my life with your presence."
"She did?" Mary breathed, letting her fingers run across the little snakes that were embroidered on the green fabric. "I didn't know."
Mary moved to refold the quilt, but Snape stopped her. "You can take it with you, if you like."
"What? No!" Mary gasped. "I couldn't! She made it for you, sir."
"I dare say Rose Evans would be glad for you to have it," Snape replied quietly.
"I- er, thank you, sir," Mary said, holding the quilt closer. "But I still can't take it. Thank you for telling me though. No one ever talks about my mum's family."
"Your grandparents were good people," Snape said, staring at the fire as he sipped his rum.
Mary closed her eyes, letting that knowledge settle in. "I like to imagine they were. It'd be a right shame if they were like Aunt Petunia."
Snape scoffed. "No, Potter. Petunia was a spiteful and mean person even as a girl. But you already know that."
The journals. Of course he'd want to start in on her for that.
"Only what snippets I have of Harry's memories of your memories." Mary tilted her head. "That sounds barmy, doesn't it?"
"I would expect no less from you, Potter," Snape said, downing the rest of his rum and refilling his glass. "What are your plans?"
"For what, sir?"
"The Yule Ball," Snape hissed. "The Horcruxes, Potter!"
"Shhh," Mary hushed him when Bacon let out a small squeak. "Not so loud, sir. The castle has ears."
"Your plans?" Snape repeated in a quieter yet more menacing tone.
"I've already taken out four of them, sir," Mary said, lifting her shoulders and watching as Bacon played with his food.
"What?" Snape stood, refilling her glass and pacing in front of the fireplace. "When? Tell me, Potter. Spare no details."
"I took out the Diary in the Chamber, just like Harry did." Mary took a deep breath. "Our little excursion to gather the basilisk parts was just a cover for me to get back in there and retrieve enough venom to destroy the Diadem I found in the Room of Requirement at the start of third year."
Snape pinned her with a stony glare. "You used me. When you asked about whether there was a market for the damned snake. You knew what you needed."
"I did," Mary said easily. "It was my goal to keep everyone safe. But I still need help."
"The other two?" Snape continued to wear a hole in the floor.
"When we began cleaning Headquarters, I found the locket and Kreacher helped me destroy it with the same venom coated Goblin blade that I used to kill the Diadem," Mary said, laughing slightly. "I didn't give it much time to put up a fight."
"What of the fourth Horcrux?" Snape narrowed his eyes. "Which one did you choose to eliminate next?"
"The ring," Mary said, wincing slightly. "I suppose you remember my episode with the snake bite the summer before fourth year?"
"I'd hardly forget it," Snape said, eyes gleaming unnaturally in the firelight. "The truth, Potter. What happened?"
"Well, I disguised myself and took the Knight bus to Blackburn. From there I rode my broom under the Cloak to Little Hangleton, found the Gaunt shack, went through a hole in the ceiling, discovered the ring in a box under the floorboards, destroyed it after it tried to get me to put it on, I got attacked by about a hundred snakes, set the shack on fire, and portkeyed home where I couldn't find an antivenom potion in time to save my sorry arse." Mary took a deep breath and shrugged once again. "You know the rest."
Snape went silent, pacing and stopping, as though his mind was spinning in circles. He'd pause, take a sip of his rum, and then continue on again.
"Stupid girl!" He finally snapped out. "I assume you plan to follow in your counterparts footsteps and steal the dragon from Gringotts to acquire Hufflepuff's cup?"
"Oh no," Mary said, shaking her head. "I have Bill working on that. I mean, I'd love to rescue the dragon, but that might cause a bit of an issue with the Goblins. And quite frankly, sir, I have enough enemies as it is."
"I can go back to the Dark Lord, claim that I was held captive," Snape said under his breath. "I can get close enough to kill the snake."
"The fuck you will!" Mary shot up from her seat. "I haven't gone through hell these past few years trying to keep you safe and alive so that you can walk in his door and let him kill you!"
The crooked smirk on Snape's face set her teeth on edge. "I'm sure my safety was at the top of your list, Potter."
Mary felt the fight drain out of her. 'It is."
"Why?" Snape stopped and turned to her fully, but his height was not intimidating considering she nearly matched it. "You know what I've done."
"You've been a shit teacher," Mary said without regard. "You purposely picked on my classmates and myself. You made my first two years at Hogwarts nearly unbearable and I hated you for it. But Harry's memories showed me that I was only looking at the surface."
"You are right to hate me, Potter," Snape said, sitting heavily and finishing the rest of his rum. "Especially now that you know that it was I that betrayed your parents."
"Do you regret it, sir?" Mary asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
"You know I do," Snape replied.
"Then all we can do is work towards fixing what we fucked up," Mary said, folding the quilt and putting it back on its place on the couch. "I have homework, sir."
"You're welcome to stay here," Snape said after a moment.
"I appreciate the offer, but I should rescue Rolf from Saphira before she causes any more chaos." Mary let out a small laugh.
"We will talk about your plans for the remaining Horcruxes at a further date." Snape picked up Bacon and held him out to her. "And don't forget your pet, otherwise he might end up in one of my potions."
Mary rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. "You'd never hurt Bacon."
"The Floo," Snape said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'd rather not have you walking the halls at this hour."
"I'm pretty sure I can take any wayward Slytherins stupid enough to try me."
"As much as I'd not want to spend my evening mopping up what's left of my students, it is not they who I worry about. The castle isn't as safe as the Headmaster would like everyone to believe."
Mary grimaced. "Yeah, I've learned that lesson the hard way."
Snape nodded and pointed to the fireplace. Mary wanted to say more. Something comforting that would make Snape believe that they were capable of winning the war without further bloodshed or the loss of innocent life, but the words stuck in her throat.
"Goodnight, sir," Mary said instead.
"Be here tomorrow before dinner," Snape replied.
With a whoosh of green, Mary spun through the Floo until he was standing in Remus' sitting room. Exhaustion pulled her toward her room, but her mind was still spinning. Too tired to stay awake but too stressed out to sleep. She craved normalcy and peace.
Turning the ring on her finger, Mary found that Saphira was indeed wreaking havoc across the hall, but she couldn't go over there covered in potion fumes and smelling like a brewery. So she placed Bacon back in his habitat, showered and changed into her best pyjamas, and went across the hall.
The door opened on the first knock and Rolf stood there looking harried and exasperated, but a smile lit his face upon seeing her. "I didn't think you'd make it."
"It's been a long night," she said, bending down to scoop Saphira into her arms. "I see the Little One is giving you a fit."
"She's been looking for you," Rolf said with a laugh as Saphira buried her nose in Mary's neck.
"Mum," Saphira whispered, leaning back to look at her. "Ink and hay can't speak."
Mary blinked at the little Snallygaster. "The what, darling?"
"He can't speak like you do." Saphira hissed.
"Holy shit!" Mary gasped. "You can talk! Like really talk!"
Saphira tilted her head and then lowered it, as though she feared she was in trouble.
"I'm so proud of you!" Mary hugged her lightly. "You're such a smart girl, Saphira."
"Where is Plants?" Saphira asked, sniffing Mary's hair.
"Plants?" Mary's brow furrowed.
"He has eyes and feathers like the night sky," Saphira explained. "He smells like plants and bugs."
"Oh Snape," Mary said, grinning at Saphira's description. "Plants has gone to sleep for the night. We can go wake him up if you'd like."
"Would you care to share?" Rolf asked, an eyebrow raised at the interaction he wasn't included in.
"Oh, she was asking where Snape was," Mary said casually. "She can talk now."
"That's amazing!" Rolf exclaimed. "What else is she saying?"
"Names are difficult for her," Mary said, running her hand across Saphira's feathers. "You're 'ink and hay' while Snape is just 'Plants'."
Rolf sniffed his robe. "Ink and hay. Is that bad?"
"You smell perfectly fine to me," Mary said, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss. "I think Saphira's ready to sleep."
"Finally!" Rolf's shoulders dropped. "I thought she'd be up and about all night again."
After they cleaned up Saphira's toys, the three laid down, Saphira taking up the middle of the large bed. Soft snores filled the air, but Mary didn't sleep. Her mind spun with thoughts of the future. How would she keep everyone safe? How would she complete her mission? What would happen if the Goblins didn't agree to help Bill? What if Snape actually went back to Voldemort? What if more innocent people died while she stayed hidden in the safety of Hogwarts? What if she lost everything she was fighting for before the final battle arrived?
And in the dark lonely corner of her mind, she wondered why Charlie didn't send her a letter.
She buried all of those thoughts in the dark star filled sky, the wind rushing through her hair as her Firebolt pulled her higher and higher towards the gleam of the golden snitch. Delving deeper into her heavily Occluded mind, Mary finally let sleep win over.
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