The days that followed were a complete blur. Plus by some miracle, everyone left me alone, it was pretty easy considering I was avoiding everyone. On another note I was eating properly again, even if that meant me smuggling it into my room so nobody was able to corner me. If I were completely honest I don't think I would have been able to face anyone.
According to Dr Linda the baby was showing Damphir qualities, whatever that means. I'm due to go for another ultrasound in a couple weeks, to see how things have changed. Children weren't even a blip on my radar and now I have no choice. I know I shouldn't feel ungrateful because this is somewhat of a miracle, and I know I only feel this way because of the botched Dimitri situation. Maybe in a perfect world Dimitri and I would've wanted children in the future, even if it was impossible, I just feel guilty for not being that excited mother to be.
Dimitri. The million dollar question, to tell him or not? In the state of our relationship, or lack of, there's no way he'd even believe me.
For the first time in days I decided to go for a walk around court, try to organise my muddled thoughts about the future. Should I even stay? It's not like I can guard straight away anyway can I? Can I handle the stares, the rumours, the pity, poor knocked up Damphir?
I could call Abe, get out of here at least until the baby is born, that's if he doesn't kill Dimitri first. Maybe I'll kill Dimitri first. The more I thought about it I realised maybe it was best to go, give Dimitri the time he needs to heal. Plus I know absolutely nothing about babies, except they're loud. Good job Rose, you're screwed.
I came to the decision that I'm going to leave, temporarily that is. Just long enough to sort out life with a baby. Abe would help me wouldn't he? I'll call him tonight. Where would I go? Russia? Ha yeah Rose, at least you know Dimitri wouldn't come looking. No doubt he hasn't even told his family of his restoration.
"Rose?" I looked up to see Mikhail Tanner walk right up to me. Damn my Guardian senses are slipping bad.
"Guardian Tanner, how are you?"
"Please Rose none of that, it's Mikhail."
"What can I do for you, do I have a shift I've missed?" I don't actually remember the last time I checked in, probably should do that before I'm fired.
"It's nothing like that, I've come to ask you something more personal if you don't mind."
Great, I don't know how much more personal probing I can handle.
"Okay…what's up?"
"Do you regret saving Belikov?"
Way to get straight to the point. That was definitely not what I was expecting him to say and it knocked the very breath out of me.
"Ah-I," Did I regret it? As much as he's hurt me, no.
"No I don't, as much as he's hurt me the world is a better place with him in it. Thinking my only option was to kill him was so much worse. I just don't know if it was enough to save all of him." Mikhail was silent for a second before he looked right at me.
"Rose, you found something that could change our world completely. Change my world completely." I didn't think he could shock me anymore but he did it with the next words that came out of his mouth.
"Will you help me save Sonya?"
I took a huge breathe in and let it out in a huff.
"Mikhail, I don't mean to sound bitter but are you sure that's what she would want? Her case isn't like Dimitri, she willingly turned?" His face was contorted, like he'd been tossing up the same dilemma in his mind. He quickly changed his expression, like he'd made up his mind.
"But Rose, so much more has been uncovered about spirit, now that we know what it is. I want to help her through it like you have with Belikov." I couldn't help but flinch at the name.
"That's the thing Mikhail, Dimitri might be back but everything that made him who he is has vanished. Could you handle bringing Sonya back and her not wanting to be around you or resent you, for bringing her back to what she tried so hard to get away from that is?"
"I can't say I know what you're going through Rose but Belikov loves you, he might be hiding it right now but a blind man can see it. So yes Rose, my answers yes. I can live with it knowing she's not a soulless monster anymore. The real question is, will you help me Rose?" That shocked me because I didn't think anyone noticed us.
This could be my perfect opportunity to get the space I needed. Where the hell is Sonya anyway? Should I really be chasing Strigoi when I'm this pregnant? Dozens of questions flew through my mind.
I mean women have been working pregnant for years, as long as I'm careful I guess I'll be fine. Oh god, I really know nothing about pregnancy. I realised he was still waiting for an actual answer.
"Yes."
"Yes?! Are you sure Rose?"
"I'm sure, but I need you to be prepared for the chance it doesn't go how you planned. That she could resent you for bringing her back when she doesn't want to be."
"I know, but I understand what you mean when you say you'd rather them in the world, even if it's not with you. So I'm ready."
"Let's do this then!" I tried to sound more upbeat than I felt at the minute.
"Where do we even start? Do you know where she even went?"
"I'm sorry I'm not more help but I lost track, she was rumoured in Russia and then Paris, who knows what's actually true."
I unintentionally flinched at the thought of Russia, all things Dimitri. I had to push through the pain to move on right? Plus it'd be nice to see the Belikovas again. Would Viktoria still be pissed? Do they even know about Dimitri. Most likely not. Do I say goodbye to Lissa?
If Mikhail noticed my extended silence while I was having a internal meltdown he never said a word. I have to call Abe, surely he'd help get us of here.
"I'll let you know when I have things sorted in the next couple of days and we'll go from there." I started to walk back towards my room.
"Rose?" I stopped to turn around.
"You have no idea how grateful I am for your help, even if it is just in theory right now."
"Don't mention it, I'm a sucker for romance apparently." I laughed at my own cruel joke as I walked away, exhaustion taking it's toll on my body and mind.