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I honestly shouldn't have underestimated the influence and power of Abe. Not even 2 days later he'd contacted me with flight arrangements on one of his private jets and credit cards arranged for me with the instructions to "spare no expense." Definitely not something I'm used to that's for sure. After ensuring that I wouldn't be disgraced as a guardian for ignoring my duties, I spoke to Hans about a temporary leave of absence. He barely even questioned it so I'm wondering if Abe also had something to do with the lack of resistance.

So here I am, bags packed, contemplating whether to cut and run without saying goodbye to Lissa. What would I even tell her? Would she even care? I'd like to think she would even if it's only a little bit. A whole lifetime of friendship should mean something I hope. With my mind made up I walked over to Lissa's and knocked on the door.

"Rose? What are you doing here?" She seemed surprised to see me.

"Can we talk?"

"Now's not really the best time.." It was then I looked beyond Lissa and noticed both Christian and Dimitri. My stomach already churned at the thought of his name, the sight of him made things worse. Ignoring her obvious sense to keep me away I continued.

"It's the only time actually." She seemed shocked at my firm attitude and reluctantly opened the door to me, whilst Christian eyed me warily.

"Rosie." He greeted.

"Hey Sparky." I smiled. This seemed to confuse Lissa some more. Like she couldn't understand when we started to bond. A lot goes on when you don't pay attention.

"So what's so important Rose, I told you we needed more tim—."

"I'm leaving." I cut her off suddenly. There, I finally said it.

"I know you probably don't care and I'm not telling you in the hopes you try and stop me. I'm telling you because it's the right thing to do after our years of friendship."

"What are you talking about? All you've ever wanted is here right now. Why would you leave?"

"Not anymore, wants fade. Isn't that right?" I rhetorically asked. I got the reaction I wanted when I saw Dimitri flinch out of the corner of my eye. Good.

"Where will you go?" It was Christian this time and I tried to convey my reasons with my eyes.

"I have something to take care of for a friend, at the same time Abe has also asked me to spend some time with him to get to know him better as father-daughter."

"Why now?" Lissa just won't stop with the questions and I could feel my resolve falling.

I took a massive breath in and let it out.

"We can dance around the elephant in the room but you know why. I need time to feel how I feel and to start to heal from everything that has happened."

Before I knew it my words came spewing out of my mouth and I couldn't turn them off.

"I can't look into the face of someone who meant so much to me just to be reminded that I was never even a worthwhile option to stick around. I'm sorry if this interferes with your life's plans at the moment but in case you haven't noticed I'm not coping and I haven't exactly had you around to notice either. Dimitri isn't the only one hurting."

"Ros—"

"No! You don't get to sit there giving me some sob story about how much Dimitri needs you. I needed you and you weren't there. Christian noticed but my so called best friend couldn't support both of us."

"Roza." I spun around so fast I could've knocked him out in under a second.

"And you! I forgave you for everything that happened when you had no control over it, but I'll be damned if I have to sit around and watch you throw away your second chance at life!" I could feel all my emotion just pouring out and I couldn't stop it. Lissa just sat there with a stunned look on her face.

Dimitri looked like he wanted to speak but didn't know if he was about to make things worse.

"Rose, come with me and get some air." Christian, the voice of reason grabbed my arm and gently pulled me outside. The breeze on my face calmed me down a bit and I felt kind of bad for losing it. Darkness or baby? What if I hurt the baby with my fits of rage? A strangled sob came out of my mouth and Christian pulled me into an awkward hug while I just cried. After a while we pulled away and I smiled sheepishly. Trying to lighten the awkwardness I felt I joked.

"Hormones?" I half laughed, it did the trick and he smiled.

"Rose? What's the plan really?" I contemplated whether to tell him but made him promise to not tell anyone.

"I'm going to help find Sonya."

"Karp!? Rose that's insane! You have to think of the baby!" He exclaimed.

"I have been thinking, and once we've found her I will hide out the rest of my days until the baby is born."

"And after? What about Dimitri?"

"Dimitri will be fine."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I'm not going to tell him yet. Like Dimitri said, he can't feel love anymore. Why would I tell him about a child that he would only hurt by saying he couldn't love it back, a tiny human that loves unconditionally."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be like that, and what about support for you."

"With Abe I'm sure I'll have more support than I've felt for a while, plus there's time to make new friends right?" I tried to make light of the situation.

"Will you keep in touch, to let us know you're not dead?"

"I'll try to, as much as we annoy each other I will miss you Sparky."

"Right back at you Rosie." He gave me a quick hug.

"Shall we go back inside?"

"I don't know what's left to say."

"She does care you know, it may not seem like it at the moment but I know she does."

I sighed, not willing to fight anymore.

"I just need time to focus on myself for the next couple of months."

We walked back into the room and the tension was obvious, cutting through the air, I could hardly breathe.

"Liss-"

"Ros-" we said at the same time.

"I'll try to keep in touch if you want me to."

"Of course I do Rose, I love you."

"Love you too Liss." I think she finally realised how serious this all was because she started to cry.

"How long?" She asked through sobs.

"I've put in for a year to be safe and I'll see where we go from there."

"A whole year?"

"Yeah I need time I don't have."

"What does that mean? Why do I feel like there's something you're not telling me?"

A knock came from the door and for the first time since walking back in the room I noticed Dimitri, frozen in his spot. Thoughts running a mile an hour. Only unfreezing when he heard Christian say.

"Guardian Tanner, to what do we owe the surprise?"

"Sorry for the intrusion but is Guardian Hathaway here?"

"I'm here." I walked around the corner.

"It's time." Is all he said and I looked around at a sniffling Lissa, impassive Christian and frozen Dimitri.

"Catcha around Sparky, Liss." Lissa grabbed onto me as tightly as she could.

"I'm so sorry Rose." As I pulled my self away I reassured her she'd be fine, she has Christian.

I went to follow Mikhail out the door when I stopped. Knowing I'd never get any other chance I turned and wrapped my arms around Dimitri. He stiffened as I knew he would, before he finally unfroze wrapping his arms around my back. The hug was over before I knew it, whispering in his ear.

"Take care of her Comrade."

Shutting the door I walked away, leaving half my heart behind with it.