Authors' note below

It was late in the night and everyone, but Kitty was asleep in their beds. She was downstairs in the library poking at the embers of a dying fire. Her mind wandered back to the question, "why did the girls have to put their dolls in Newly's suitcase?" She didn't need the help in getting things moving between her and Matt, But the girls thought otherwise. They were only trying to help, they didn't understand the way things worked, it was a child's logic to think a doll would bring a father to his family, that he never knew he had.

Kitty sighed, the thoughts, fears, and worries raced in her mind over and over, to the point that she felt overwhelmed. She thought about something she'd hadn't thought about in years. Kitty could remember her mother trying to get her father to come and see his daughter, but he never did. The only time she met and saw him was in Dodge. Sure, she'd heard about her father being in New Orleans at times. When she would find out, she would run to her room and pick out one of her favorite dolls to send to him. Hoping it would bring her father home. But it never worked out, it only left her with a broken heart and the longing for a father's love. Father would just send the doll back, saying he couldn't make it because he had other things to tend to, more important things.

Kitty swallowed back her tears as she thought about Matt,
"Matt wouldn't do that to the girls, would he?" She wondered. "He...he wouldn't just send them back. Or come here and say he wouldn't want anything to do with us, would he?" Kitty's heart raced as she mulled the thought over letting the scenario play out in her mind.

Matt stood before her, listening as she spoke. He was biting his lip, waiting until it was his turn to say something. His eyes were piercing through her. There was no hint of love in his eyes. The only things she could find were disappointment and anger. Kitty swallowed hard as Matt spoke, "Kitty, Kitty, I have nothing to say. I can't believe this, why didn't you tell me about them beforehand? We could of had a life together. But how could I trust someone like you ever again?" Matt looked at the girls and only nodded before he placed his hat on his head. He then stormed out of the house, he slammed the door behind him, not looking back at Kitty and the girls.

Her mind raced as the thought gripped her with fear.
She started to pant from the anxiety that grabbed at her heart,
Kitty swallowed back the lump that rose in her throat. "I can't do this. I shouldn't have sent the letter. He's going to hate me for it." She kept poking and prodding at the dying fire again.
"Kitty? Kitty, what are you doing down here in the middle of the night?"
Sarah came into the room and sat down next to Kitty.
The young woman jumped a little when she heard Sarah call her name.
"Oh, hi Sarah. I-I uh couldn't sleep."
Sarah nodded in her understanding way. "Let me guess it has to do with Newly going back to Dodge, Matt, the girls, and the dolls."
"How did you know about the dolls?"
"Oh, I saw Bethany put them in the bag. But I didn't want to say anything. I know how much it means to the girls to meet Matt."
Kitty only nodded as Sarah put her arm around her.

"Kitty, I know the pain your father put you through when you were a child. Sending your dolls back to you every time you wanted to meet him. I'm sorry he did that." Kitty looked at her friend and confidant throwing her arms around her neck.

"Oh, Sarah, I hate the thought of-of," Kitty couldn't bring herself to say the words. Sarah only nodded as she held her friend close. "Oh Kitty, something you need to remember is, Matt is nothing like your father.

He wouldn't tuck tail and run when you told him the truth. You two have been together almost twenty years, and I know you are not officially married to Matt. but you both have committed yourselves to each other for the last twenty years. The only thing you're missing is the marriage license. Matt's a good man, Kitty. One of the best that I know of, next to my late Tom. Something else I know about Matt is, I know he loves you deeply."

The young woman could only nod as she listened to Sarah talk.
"Dearie, knowing Matt the way I do. I bet those two dolls will be hand-delivered; back to the girls, and Matt would be more than happy to marry you. That man of yours was never one to run."
The young woman only nodded as she wiped away her stray tears.
"I-I guess your right Sarah, I at least hope your right."
Sarah could only smile as she leaned back from the embrace. Kitty then went back to poking at the fire.
The older woman smiled, "You know Kitty, that fire isn't going to come back to life with you just poking and prodding at it. You need to put more logs in it to bring it back to life."

Kitty scuffed, "I guess that's like life. I've been running from everything, Matt being the main thing along with telling him the truth being the other."
"Well, it took you long enough to figure that out." Sarah laughed.

Kitty rolled her eyes, "Alright, alright, I know I come by slow freight sometimes."
A smile graced Sarah's lips as she chuckled. "That's alright we still love and adore you anyways,"
She said as she hugged her longtime friend once again. "Say, I came down here for some milk to help me sleep. Would you like some?"
"No, thanks, Sarah. I think I need to spend some more time alone down here; before going back to bed."
"Alright, sure enough. I'll see you in the morning. "
With that Sarah, wandered off into the kitchen and then back up to her room.

Kitty put another log into the fire, bringing it back to life.
She pondered on her conversation with Sarah.
She was right. Matt was no Wayne Russell. Not by a long shot. In some ways, she and Matt were married, only he was more married, to that badge of his than her. Even all of Dodge knew that they belonged to each other. She let out a sigh,

Kitty was thinking back on all the conversations she and Matt shared, daydreams of a family, children, a ranch. But that could never happen with him being a marshal. She sighed as she stared into the roaring fire. "God," she cleared her throat, "God, I'm scared. I-I know that I..."
She sighed as the sounds of the crackling fire, fill the air. She was at a loss for words,
She brought her knees up to her chest as she hugged herself, as the little girl inside of her started to cry, as she thought about something that happened a few years before Bethany was born.

She sniffed as she tried to talk, "Lord, I-I'm sorry! Please let Matt forgive me, and that-that."

Kitty couldn't say the words. It hurt too much to remember. She wiped away her tears that flowed as a still small voice spoke to her.

"Peace be Still!"

At those three little words, all fear that was in the room seemed to vanish. Even the darkness and the cold were gone. Kitty felt like someone wrapped her up in a warm blanket and let the light fill the room. She no longer felt alone. Her heart quickened at the words, but she found comfort. Then Newly's words came to mind. "Remember, fear is a liar."

She swallowed hard. This was no longer in her control; everything was out of her hands.
"Alright, God, I guess there is nothing more I can do than trust you."
Kitty walked back to the couch and sat down. Taking hold of one of the quilts that Sarah had made and covered herself up with it.
She sighed, "Heavenly Father, you know there are things that I-I have kept from most people.
Doc is the only one that knows about it."
Kitty bit her lip and sniffed as she felt a warm gentle peace rush through her heart and soul. A gentle whisper spoke to her,

"I know Kathleen, I know. Do not let your heart be troubled. You will see that baby of yours again."

Kitty let out the breath she was holding back and unclenched her fist as she snuggled underneath the thick warm quilt as she fell into a peaceful deep sleep. Kitty knew that moment everything was in God's hands. It would work out one way or another.

Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! Sorry, I can't reply to the guest, but thank you again for the comments.

I'm so glad you guys are sticking with me, this will be the last chapter about Kitty for a little while. In the next few chapters, we get to See Newly, Festus, Doc, and the one you all have been waiting for MATT!