A/N: Hey y'all! So this isn't actually a planned chapter to the story, but a request from a friend of mine for her birthday. It takes place while Joey is in the hospital after her brain surgery. Joey's mom is given a name, but not much other information. That will probably come later. Joey's nickname is also revealed, but the way she got that nickname will be expanded on in the next chapter. That next chapter is kind of long, so it may take a little while to put up. I have to work a lot the next few days, so I won't get much time to write. But enjoy this little unplanned chapter, inspired by the song "Streets of Heaven" by Sherrie Austin.
John Dutton liked the quiet of Montana.
No. He loved the quiet of Montana.
But it was rare that he got to actually sit and enjoy that quiet. With five children from the age of thirty down to eight, silence was something he craved. Even though four of his five children no longer lived at home, one or more of them always needed something from him. At times, it seemed that eight-year-old Joey was actually his least needy child, only wanting a little positive attention from her parents and then happily being able to entertain herself for hours at a time.
There was no doubt in John's mind that those days were over.
Visitors had been coming in and out of Joey's hospital room all day. Rip had come to visit Joey and to check on him for a few minutes early that morning. Jamie had come for around a half hour, standing stiffly at the edge of Joey's bed until John relieved him of his brotherly duty by sending him back to the ranch. Kayce had called and talked to Joey on the phone, promising her he'd see her as soon as he was home from deployment. You won't do her any good if you make yourself sick or pass out, Daddy. John wondered if he'd do Joey any good either way. Beth had stayed until just a couple of hours earlier, fetching coffee and food for John, urging him to eat and keep up his strength. Lee had come three separate times that day, begging his father to take a turn looking over things at the ranch so he could sit with Joey for a little while.
Though John appreciated Lee and Beth's dedication to their little sister, leaving right now seemed impossible.
The words the doctor had spoken to him when he came out of the operating room were rattling around in John's head. John understood them, but he seemed unable to fully comprehend them. The more he thought about the doctor's statements, the more jumbled his emotions became.
The tumor has been removed, but there were complications.
A mistake.
Brain damage.
Injury to the brain.
Possible learning difficulties.
May be unable to walk, talk, speak, or eat the way she could before, assuming that she wakes up at all.
Assuming she wakes up at all. John had never thought it possible to take his children waking up in the morning for granted, but he had indeed done just that. Joey had gotten out of surgery thirty-six hours earlier and she hadn't moved. There was a tube helping her breathe. Her tiny chest was rising and falling, and John wondered if the tube was hurting her. There were numerous other beeps around the room. One of them measured Joey's heart rate, which seemed to be normal. One measured her blood pressure, which the nurse had informed him at the last check in was a little high but a long way from being worrying. John had been told what the rest of the machinery did, but his fatigued brain had buried the information.
John tried to sleep, but despite how tired he was, drifting off for a little while was impossible. He'd thought Joey's condition was bad enough to get in the way of him getting any sleep, but another wrench had been thrown at John just three hours earlier.
"Fiona, what the hell do you mean you're leaving?"
"I just…I can't do this, John."
"Do what?" John asked, whispering even though Joey had shown no sign of awakening any time soon. "Be a mother to your sick kid?"
"No. I can't. I can't be the mom she needs me to be."
John laughed, certain that this was some sort of cruel joke. "You can't be serious."
"Look, please just tell her…"
"I'm not telling her a damn thing but the truth." John seethed. "I'm telling you, Fi, right now. You walk out that door, you don't come back."
A long silence fell over the room, and for a moment, John thought Fiona would change her mind. This moment had been a long time coming. Their marriage was falling apart, but the two of them had been doing the best they knew how to keep things together for Joey. Now it seemed all that effort the two of them had been putting forward to stay a family was for nothing.
The light to the room came on and John was thrown violently from his thoughts back to reality. A nurse had come inside, the fourth or fifth one that John had seen that night. He wanted to snap at the nurse for turning the light on and waking Joey, but he didn't. He was just too tired. The nurse checked Joey's vitals, made a note in her chart, then turned towards Joey and smiled at her. John wondered if the nurse actually cared for Joey or if she just saw encouragement as part of her job. When the nurse turned and saw John, she jumped, startled.
"Oh. Mr. Dutton. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"No." John said. "Haven't really been sleeping."
The nurse nodded knowingly. "Worried?"
John sighed. "Tired. Worried. Scared. Pissed. All of the above."
"She's strong." The nurse said, turning back to look at Joey again. "One of the strongest kids I've seen here."
"Really?" John asked. "You're not just saying that?"
"Mr. Dutton, I've been here for twenty years. I've seen kids come and go. I've even seen a miracle or two. And every kid that walked out of here and went home hung on just like Josephine is doing right now."
John nodded.
"Mr. Dutton…"
"John." John murmured.
The nurse smiled. "John. I'm Amy. Do you mind if I give you a little advice?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Talk to her." Amy said. "Talk to her a lot. Doesn't matter what about, just let her know that you're still here and that you're gonna be here no matter what. It makes a difference."
"You really think she can hear me?" John asked.
"I do." Amy said. "I really do. And besides, even if she couldn't hear you, what harm could it do?"
Amy left, leaving John alone with his thoughts all over again. He watched Joey's chest rise and fall for a few minutes, willing her to open her eyes and just talk to him. Whatever came after that, he would deal with. After a few minutes of deciding what he should say, John took a seat on the edge of Joey's bed, taking her hand in his and holding it, just like he did any time she had a nightmare.
"Hey, Sunny." John said, swallowing hard when a lump formed in his throat. "Daddy's here, baby. Daddy's here. I ain't going nowhere, you hear me?"
John swallowed again, the lump in his throat feeling like knives. He realized then that with all the time he'd spent in the room since Joey had come out of surgery, he hadn't actually said anything directly to her.
"Sorry I haven't really been talking much to you. Didn't know what to say. I guess that's hard to believe, huh? Your big ol' brave Daddy speechless." John chuckled, and found the lump easing off slightly. "You're gonna get through this, baby. No matter what, I promise you you'll get through this. You just gotta wake up, you hear me? Take your time, do it whenever you're ready, but you have to wake up."
I won't lie to you, Mr. Dutton. The damage done is severe. Joey may not wake up again.
The doctor's words from earlier came back again, and John felt the breath leave his chest. He'd been processing the information he'd gotten from the doctors all day that day, all week really, but he'd been in a kind of stupor. He heard the words but hadn't fully processed them. The thought that Joey, his baby girl, the one that had gotten him fully out of the depressed rut he'd been in after Evelyn died, might never wake up again shattered him.
No. John Dutton could survive a lot of things, but he was certain that would kill him.
"Baby girl, please. This might make me a selfish son of a bitch, but I don't care. You wake up. No matter what it takes, you wake up. I can't be without you. Till you can do that, Daddy's right here, baby. I'm gonna lay right here with you. I'll hold you all night if that's what it takes. Just please, Sunny, please, please wake up."
Afraid that saying anything else would make the tears flow nonstop, John took his hat and sat it on the chair next to Joey's bed. He laid down next to Joey, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. He watched her breathing again, before a memory came back to him unbidden.
"You want Daddy to sing to you? I think you're the only one of my kids that actually likes it. Well, here goes nothing." John cleared his throat and started the lullaby that had never once failed to calm Joey. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know, dear, how much I love you…"
The final words made John choke up again, but he fought it. It had been a long time since he'd prayed, but he turned his eyes towards the heavens and sang the final few words as a plea.
"Please don't take my sunshine away."
A strange sense of calm fell upon John, and he kissed Joey's cheek again before whispering good night. Somehow, some way, he was able to get a couple of hours sleep that night before facing the same hell the following day.