Episode: The One With The Tiny T-Shirt (3x19)

"Listen to me!"

Chandler was trying hard to convince Ross to reason and stop behaving in such a foolish way. He held the door shut with his feet, leaning on Ross's back not to fall off of him.

"Juice, I need…" Ross tried to talk again, but Chandler cut him off.

"She's moving on! Okay? If it's not this guy, it's gonna be somebody else! And unless you're thinking about subletting my peep hole…you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? It's over."

Ross didn't want to admit this, but Chandler was right. He felt his heart aching again at that revelation, but he couldn't deny it anymore. Rachel going out with Mark was a clear sign of the fact that she wouldn't get back with him as he had been hoping since that faithful day of their horrid break up.

"Yeah, okay…"

"Okay." Chandler calmed down and waited for his words to sink in.

"It's just I miss her so much."

Chandler couldn't help but feeling terrible for his friend. He had known Ross for so many years.

Years in which Ross had been in love with Rachel almost for the entire time they had spent together; aside from the few years he had been happy with Carol. Moreover, Chandler had just got through a bad separation with Janice, so he knew how bad it felt to lose someone you really love.

"I know." He murmured, rubbing Ross's head in a very friendly way.

He stepped down from his friend's back, still amazed for Ross's strength.

"I know." Chandler repeated.

Ross was still upset and devastated, so Chandler thought this would be a good time to ease the tension with a joke.

"Is it me, or did subletting my peephole sound kind of dirty?"

Ross thought about it for a couple of seconds.

"Ok man, I'm gonna take off." He eventually announced.

Chandler was surprised by the unexpected turn of events, "Are you sure you will be fine on your own?"

Ross gave out a painful smile, "No…But at least I have to try, otherwise I'll never be able to move on."

Chandler nodded in comprehension, "Ok. You know where to find me."

Ross nodded, appreciating his best friend's will to help him. He opened the apartment door and stepped outside in the corridor. He tried to catch any noise coming from Monica and Rachel's living room, but he couldn't hear anything. He kept his eyes on the door, trying to convey all his willpower not to open it.

Chandler checked on his friend for a few seconds, ready to intervene again and tackle him.

However, he soon realized that Ross was right. He needed to face this on his own. He closed the door behind him and left Ross alone to face his demons.

Ross waited another minute, still unable to stop staring at Rachel's door.

After a long sigh, he finally decided it was time to head home.

That was the right choice, he was behaving as an adult. No more drama between the two of them.

Little did he know that at that right moment, inside Apartment 20, Rachel was having all kind of doubts about her decision to date Mark.

Ross had never felt so lonely. He threw his keys on the kitchen counter and sat on the couch.

He hadn't been able to sleep in his bed since the night he had spent with Chloe.

He still considered it their bed.

Ross looked around and found his Frankie says relax t-shirt on the table. He took it in his hands, he still remembered the last time he had seen Rachel wearing it. She loved sleeping with that shirt when they were together; it made her feel comfortable. And it made Ross proud to have such an amazing girlfriend.

He could still smell her perfume on the garment.

This isn't helpful, he thought.

Suddenly, he felt nauseous. About his situation, about everything he had done.

It's my fault. It's only my fault.

The tears formed at the corner of his eyes and he didn't prevent them from falling. He lay down on the couch, wrapping himself up in a fetal position.

I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.

Ross woke up abruptly when he heard someone knocking.

His face was still dry for the hundreds of tears he had cried the previous night. He shook his head and walked towards the door. When he opened it, he found Monica waiting.

"Hi." She shot a tender smile at him.

"Hey. Why are you here?" Ross asked his sister.

"Chandler told me what happened yesterday."

"Uh." Ross rubbed his front. "Come in. Want some breakfast?"

"I'm good, thanks."

Monica took the chance to have a look around. Ross's apartment was in a state of total mess. Her instinct told her to start cleaning up, but she thought this wasn't the right moment. Maybe later.

"Mon" Ross was speaking to her from the kitchen. "I'm fine, really. I can handle this. You don't need to worry."

"Ross, please. I'm your sister."

Ross just ignored her, keeping his hands busy preparing coffee. "I mean, I don't care if she wants to go out with Mark, you know? I always knew she was attracted to him, it looks like I was right about this."

Monica let him blabber for a bit. She knew that Ross was exaggerating, as usual. He had this tendency to make little things look much bigger than they were. Nonetheless, she also knew that her brother was suffering, so she tried to soothe him.

When Ross walked towards her and sat on the couch, Monica took his hand and stroked it.

"Ross…I already told you what I think about what happened. You will never hear me say that you were allowed to cheat on Rachel because you were on a break."

"But…"

Monica cut him off, "But I understand. You're my brother, and I love you. I want to be supportive. And I came here to tell you something that will make you feel a whole lot better."

Ross's sneer was enough as an answer. "And what is that?"

He believed that nothing would make him feel better.

"I spoke with Rachel. Yesterday night she told Mark that she doesn't feel like dating him right now."

Ross was flabbergasted, "Why?" he murmured.

"She feels that it would be like cheating on you. That she would do this only to get back at you."

Ross was too astonished to talk.

"She doesn't want to go out with anyone; it would be too hard to jump into a new relationship."

Ross looked at his sister with newfound hope, "What do you think?"

"Well…if I know Rachel, and after all these years I think I do, I'm pretty sure that she's still in love with you."

Ross closed his eyes, repeating Monica's words in his mind.

"It's going to be tough to forgive you, maybe impossible. Otherwise, she would have done it by now. But she still loves you. It would be crazy to even think that she doesn't."

Ross nodded and let her words sink in.

"Ross, you've got to understand that women don't forgive a betrayal so easily, whatever the circumstances are. I know you are not a serial cheater, but you did sleep with another woman. And you have to accept this fact."

Ross knew that Monica was right, but it was still difficult for him to admit what he had done. Let alone live with the fact that Rachel was hurting because of him.

"Right now you both need to move on. She's trying so hard, Ross. And you must help her."

"Why? Why should I help her move on from me, from us?" Ross wondered, close to the tears.

"Because she needs to see the best part of you. If you keep behaving like before, always trying to keep up a fight with her for the petty things, it won't do you any good."

Ross's eyes fell on the Frankie says relax t-shirt.

"But if you help her seeing that you are a nice guy…maybe one day she will understand that what you did was just a horrible mistake and she will forgive you."

Ross nodded, feeling grateful for having such a caring sister.

"Thank you, Mon." he hugged her.

"I just want you to get better, Ross. I can't stand seeing you like this. Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Ross smiled and chuckled, "Ok."

Monica kissed him goodbye and left the apartment.

When Ross's eyes caught a glimpse of the t-shirt laying on the table, he figured out what he had to do.

Monica, Chandler and Phoebe were chatting about silly things when Ross entered the apartment.

"Hi."

The three of them stopped talking, afraid of Ross's reaction.

"Hey." Monica greeted him. "Are you okay?"

Ross nodded, holding a big brown box in his hands.

"Yeah…is Rachel here?"

"Not yet, she's getting back from work." Monica told him.

Ross sighed, "Maybe it's better. Listen, when she gets home, can you tell her I left this box for her?"

Monica looked at him with suspicion. She immediately thought that her former conversation with her brother had been useless, because that box looked like another way to start a quarrel with Rachel.

Ross put a hand on Monica's shoulder, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Monica nodded in relief, Ross looked fine. "Ok."

She couldn't help but notice a slight smile on her brother's lips while he went away.

"Why isn't it Spiderman? Y'know like Goldman, Silverman..."

Chandler looked back at Phoebe in all seriousness, "'Cause it's – It's not his last name."

"It isn't?"

"No, it's not like, like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider – man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold – Man."

"Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!"

Monica laughed for Phoebe's remark just as Rachel entered the apartment.

"Hey!"

"Hey, Rach, how was work?"

"Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasn't a chair."

Monica didn't want to ruin her mood, but she really needed to tell Rachel about Ross's visit.

"By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff."

Monica waited for her best friend's reaction, but Rachel seemed cool with the news.

Rachel walked towards the small table in the living room, "Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. I'm just gonna throw it out, it's probably just a bunch of shampoo and..."

When Rachel opened the box, she suddenly stopped talking.

Monica was terrified.

"Something wrong?" she asked her.

She was afraid of what her brother might have put inside that box. She was dying to know what was in it and she was ready to scold Ross, if he had made the wrong choice. Had he given something back to Rachel to make her suffer even more?

Rachel took the Frankie says relax t-shirt from the box and held it to her chest. Monica checked carefully her movements and she noticed Rachel taking a deep breath.

Rachel smiled to herself and replied, "No. Nothing."

Monica's eyes followed Rachel heading for her room to put the shirt away. And when she came back, still smiling and with glittering eyes, Monica knew that her brother had hit the mark.

Now she had no doubt.

Those were the eyes of a person who was still very much in love.

Monica smiled to herself, pondering all the events of that day.

Maybe there's still hope.