Hello everybody!

Before proceeding with a new chapter, I wanted to reply to some of your reviews for Chapter 9.

One reviewer told me that it's not realistic that Ross and Rachel know each other better than Monica and Chandler. I don't think that's quite true. They've known each other longer than Mondler, and they've spent one year together as a couple. For what we know, they were very committed and went out almost every night.

I was very careful when I thought about the answers that Mondler could do wrong, and if you notice, they only make mistakes because they misunderstand the questions.

For Ross and Rachel, the important thing is that they needed to realize that they still had the other as main boyfriend/girlfriend in their minds and that they still behave like a couple – they know everything about each other and they have a daughter!

Another reviewer thinks that Roschel couldn't get as close as I picture them in that chapter because egos and fear wouldn't allow it. This might be true, but remember that I purposely put this one shot a few days before The One Where Joey Speaks French (which is the episode that definitively changed the perception of Roschel in Season 10). Since then, the two of them get closer and closer and Rachel is the one who says, "It's never off the table".

As for Emily, I have different povs in different fan fictions. At times, I believe that Ross was in love with Emily, but not as strongly as he ever was I love with Carol or Rachel.

For the purpose of that chapter, though, I wanted to believe that Ross never really loved Emily. If you think about it, love is very different than fancy, like, or even care very much.

And now, about next chapter.

This might be a little forced, but I really wish this would have happened.

Episodes: Somewhere between The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie (4x10) and The One With Phoebe's Uterus (4x11)

"I can't believe I won't be able to spend New Year's Eve with Kathy!"

"Come on, don't be such a baby. We are all singles at the moment, so tonight you just have to pretend!" Monica scolded her best friend.

Chandler had been complaining all night for Kathy's absence at Monica's party. Before getting together with him, she had already bought tickets to visit her parents during the holidays, so she had left for Chicago a couple of days before.

Chandler could not help but feel lonely, even if the group of random people that Monica liked inviting at her parties was scattered all around the room.

"Mon's right, Chandler. Just be cool and have fun!" Joey prodded him.

"Yeah, and if you don't feel like celebrating, just think that Ross was going out with two women and now he has none!" Rachel sneered.

Ross just glared at her, trying to ignore her attempt to argue with him. For some reason, he wasn't really in the mood to pick up a fight with her, that night.

"For your information, Phoebe was the one who suggested that I broke up with both of them." Ross tried and justify himself.

"And you listened to me?" Phoebe asked, with genuine concern.

Ross caught Rachel's look as she stifled a laugh. His mood changed just for a second when he realized that Rachel was smiling with him because of Phoebe's statement.

They shared a look worth a thousand words, both certainly remembering much happier times.

"All, right kids, the ball is almost ready to drop!" Monica clapped her hands and walked towards the fridge, taking bottle of sparkling wine to open at midnight.

Rachel's wavering grin was the last thing that Ross saw before his former girlfriend decided to walk slowly towards her bedroom.

Rachel was in a very pensive mood. It was five minutes before New Year, and she had never felt so abandoned and lonely.

She knew that she should not complain about her life. She liked her job. She made good money and she could make rent without any problems. She had amazing friends, of course. Friends that she loved like they were her real family.

However, if she had to be honest, she missed having a boyfriend.

Not exactly.

She missed Ross. An awful lot.

They hadn't been together for almost ten months, by now, but she still couldn't accept the fact that their relationship was over.

What bothered her more, though, was the fact that since they had definitively broken up, Ross had managed to go out with plenty of women, while her only real date had been that stupid kid, Josh.

She didn't like feeling that way. Not only because she feared that she might still have feelings for Ross, but also because her mind kept playing games with her, with memories of the previous year slowly arising to make her suffer even more.

Things had been so different 365 days before.

By then, she was still working at Fortunata Fashions and she hated her job immensely, but that had been her first job in the field. All the six of them had spent a lovely night together. And Ross was still the great man she had fallen in love with. No stupid jealousy and possessiveness, no embarrassing behaviors. Everything was just as simple as that.

Ross and Rachel.

She couldn't believe how fast things had come to a head when she had met Mark.

Her new job at Bloomingdale's, everything that this huge change had leaded to.

Of course, she couldn't blame herself. Their breakup had been Ross's fault.

Well, mainly Ross's fault.

Mostly Ross's fault.

After almost a year, she had some reservations about the whole break issue, being tormented by the memory that she had been the one to ask for it in the first place.

But one thing was evident and bright like the sun: Ross had cheated on her, and this would never change.

Rachel sighed heavily. If only those thoughts could leave her alone, just for a while.

'Yeah, right.'

She stood up and opened her wardrobe, looking for a very familiar shoebox.

She sat on her bed, the box leaning carefully on her knees.

Rachel removed the lid and observed its content.

A worn out movie stub, a broken eggshell, pictures, a Valentine's Day card, a very old fossil. A dried sprig of mistletoe.

Rachel took it in her hands, trying not to ruin it. She smiled wryly, thinking of how metaphorical that little twig was.

One year before, in a night like this, it was still colorful, alive, the symbol of the love that they shared.

And now?

Dried out. Almost dead.

She was still looking at the mistletoe when she heard someone knocking on her door.

"Get in." she said, absent-mindedly.

She wasn't certainly expecting the person peeking out, with a very serious look on his face.

"Hey." Ross announced himself.

Hearing his voice, Rachel threw the mistletoe in the box, trying to cover it as fast as she could. She sniffed, trying not to show how vulnerable she actually felt at that moment.

Ross knew that there were times that he was a real pain in the ass, especially since he had broken up with Rachel. But he was still able to feel whenever she was upset.

"Something's wrong?" he asked, assuming that she wasn't feeling well.

"No, I'm fine." She answered harshly, annoyed by his intrusion. Of course, Ross was the reason she was feeling like that, but she would never admit it.

Rachel was struggling to try and hate him, she really was giving it her best shot. But whenever she felt like she was finally succeeding, she had to give up, because she still had deep feelings for him. And now Ross had the guts to go and check for her, asking if something was wrong.

When had things gotten so difficult?

Ross ignored Rachel's tone; he hadn't come to fight with her. He just wanted to know what was going on.

"Rachel, maybe we are not together anymore, but I know you. I know when something's bothering you."

Rachel snickered, feeling frustration get the upper hand over her inner emotional turmoil.

"Yeah, right, maybe if you really had this gift, you wouldn't have slept with somebody else." She blurted out without thinking.

Ross was struck by her words and he felt hurt. However, he noticed that Rachel immediately put a hand on her eyes, shaking her head rapidly. That was the sign that she was already regretting ever saying those things. As much as she wanted to hate Ross, he didn't deserve being humiliated like that.

A very broken Ross sighed and walked towards the bed, "May I?" he said politely, asking for her permission to sit next to her.

Rachel didn't reply, she just slid a bit, leaving some space for him at the end of the bed.

As Ross sat, he took a glimpse of the box laying behind her.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Rachel scoffed, shaking her head again and carefully avoiding meeting his eyes, "It's hard to explain. Especially to you."

Ross nodded in comprehension, his eyes glued to the shoebox. He knew that thing. He had seen it something like a month before.

"Don't say that I have no sentiment!" Rachel yelled, getting back from her room.

She started to show Ross what was in the box with such a fury that he was obliged to focus on her.

"This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we…were together." She exhaled, holding a fossil in her hands.

"Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!" she screamed, trying to make her point.

Ross felt terrible. He couldn't believe how sweet it was that Rachel still kept objects that belonged to their relationship. Then he had a sudden epiphany about the bone she was holding.

"I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these." He pointed at the bone. "It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that."

Rachel just glared at him.

While those memories resurfaced from the back of his mind, Ross decided that this could be the right moment to talk about it.

"Listen, Rach…we never really spoke about what happened at Thanksgiving."

"What? Monica kissing Richard's son and how much yuck that was?"

Ross chuckled, glad to notice that Rachel never lost her sense of humor, "No, I mean…what happened with…you know…us."

Rachel shook her head slowly, then she finally looked at him, "And what should have we talked about exactly, uh, Ross?" she questioned him, ready to face another argument.

"I don't know, maybe that I was a jerk." Came his unexpected response.

Rachel hated this about Ross. He could be the worst idiot at times, but he was – oh so good with apologies. She always believed him when he said that he was sorry; he often made huge gestures to excuse himself, like drinking that glass of fat.

If she thought carefully, the only time she hadn't listened to reason had been when Ross had betrayed her. She had been so close to forgive him when he had tried and kiss her that night, but she had been the strong one, yelling at him that this time he couldn't make it better like that.

But Ross's eyes were always sincere, he couldn't hide behind them. And his soothing voice made Rachel remember why she had fallen in love with him in the first place.

Because after all was said and done, he was still the sweetest man she had ever met.

"I'm sorry for everything I said to you that night, Rachel. I should have never accused you of not having feelings. I do know that your friends are the most important thing to you."

Rachel was confused by that confession; she lowered her head, deciding that maybe letting Ross talk and not interjecting him was the best thing to do.

"And I even know how much committed you were to…well, us. I was the one who spoiled everything and…" Ross was the one avoiding her eyes now. "Well, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm sorry for that."

As Ross was staring sightlessly at the floor in front of him, Rachel looked warily at him. He was nervous, playing with his fingers to ease the tension.

She blinked fast and sighed deeply, "Apologies accepted."

Ross's eyes flickered immediately at her, he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Ok." He sighed, feeling relaxed as he hadn't been in a very long time.

Rachel nodded and noticed that Ross was looking with curiosity at the shoebox.

"So, what's going on with you tonight?" he politely asked her.

"I don't know…maybe…it's the fact that we are all here, supposed to be celebrating New Year's Eve…and I realized I don't have much to celebrate."

Ross knew exactly how she felt; he was pretty sure that Rachel's mood mirrored his own.

"Well, you're not the only one who's nostalgic."

Rachel smirked, "I'm not nostalgic."

Ross didn't want to push her, but he really wanted to know – needed to know.

"So what's with that box?" he finally posed the loaded question.

Rachel slowly and defiantly lift her head, glaring at him. She didn't answer, but her thoughts were very clear to Ross.

'Yeah, right, try and make me confess that I still love you', she thought.

That wasn't Ross's intent, though. He only hoped that Rachel would find the strength to open up a bit so that he could help her.

"Listen, I know where we stand now. But don't forget that we are still friends. At least, I hope we are."

Rachel scoffed again, shaking her head, "Of course we are friends, Ross. As much as I really wanted to tear off your head a few months ago, I can't pretend that I don't care about you. You're still part of that little group of people that I love the most."

Ross's delighted smile almost enlightened the room, "Wow, so I'm off from the black list?"

"Oh, no, you're still at first place on it." She argued.

They both chuckled softly, a bit relieved that all the former tension between them was disappearing.

Rachel sighed and took the mistletoe from its container.

"I put this in that box exactly one year ago."

Ross watched the sprig, it was definitely mistletoe. It wasn't hard for him to remember the occasion.

"Happy New Year, sweetie!"

"Oh, you too honey!"

Rachel traced her fingers down Ross's face, his hands resting on her hips in their usual natural position.

"I have a little present for you."

"Really?" she asked, with a sparkle in her eyes.

Ross chuckled for her usual childish impatience and took a package that he had leaned on the couch a few minutes before.

"It's big!" Rachel commented.

Ross laughed again and waited for her to open the gift.

"Wow, Ross this is gorgeous!"

"You like it?"

Rachel was holding a big leather purse, evidently designed for an office worker.

"I love it, Ross."

"Really?" he inquired sternly, but with another soft smile on his face.

"Yes, I realllly like it, I promise."

"You know, I thought that you needed a new purse for your new job. And even if you feel like that's not what you were expecting when you left Central Perk, I hope it's going to get better."

"Thank you honey." She was sincerely touched by his words.

"And now…"

A mistletoe sprig appeared in Ross's hands. They both grinned at the sight of it.

"I suppose you want something better than a simple thank you, don't you?"

"No, but you know how much traditions mean to me." Ross stated tenderly.

Next thing they know; they were caught up in a passionate kiss – under the mistletoe.

Ross's memories weighed him down like a ton of bricks.

He still couldn't believe that with one stupid mistake he had thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him. He played with the little twig in his hands.

"I'm sorry that you are sad." He suddenly blurted, his eyes roaming over her face.

Rachel realized that there were dozens of unsaid things behind that statement.

Of course, Ross was trying to apologize for what he had done. Again.

For cheating on her, for losing her trust.

And after a long internal battle, she decided to accept this little piece of himself, knowing that she was still incapable of forgiving him.

"I know." finally came her response.

Not willing to look directly at her, Ross took that moment to observe his surroundings.

"It's weird to be here…I haven't been in your room since…" he cautiously paid attention to the following words. "Well, it's been a while."

Rachel smiled reassuringly, "If only these walls could talk."

"I think Joey would loooove listening to what they have to say." Ross commented, provoking a joyous fit of laughter in his former girlfriend.

Rachel thought for the second time about this man and what she had always loved about him. Ross wasn't as funny as Chandler maybe, but she felt like his humor was made for her. He was always so good at making her laugh, like nobody else.

And he always knew how to set a mood when she was upset.

Ross was still playing with the mistletoe when they heard Monica's shrieking voice coming from the living room, "Thirty seconds!"

Monica said something else, more quietly this time; evidently they were dropping the ball in Time Square.

"Well, it's almost midnight." Ross stated the obvious.

"Yeah. The beginning of another crappy new year," Rachel whined.

Ross felt a wave of courage invade him, "Maybe we could ease our way into it."

Rachel looked questioningly at Ross as he showed her the mistletoe.

She was speechless and not sure that she had understood his intentions.

"For old time's sake?" Ross questioned her, his voice almost a whisper.

He knew that this was a huge risk. All he'd ever hoped was to share another moment like this with Rachel, the woman he still loved. But now that he had thrown the stone, he wasn't so sure anymore.

On the other hand, Rachel was feeling blue and lonely.

'Well, that wouldn't be the worst thing.'

She was uncertain, but at the same time very excited. She knew that this was the stupidest idea ever, and she knew that kissing Ross always meant something to her. She couldn't pretend with him.

'What do I got to lose?' she finally considered.

This was just a New Year's kiss, she could have kissed Chandler, or Joey, and that would have been the same thing.

"10…9…8…" they heard the voices of their friends and acquaintances coming from the other room.

Rachel found herself nodding almost imperceptibly.

"5…4…"

Ross and Rachel's faces were so close that they could feel their respective breaths on each other's skin.

"2…1…Happy New Year!"

Their lips collided into a slow delicate kiss. They hadn't been so intimate since that fateful day after Montauk. The second Ross realized that he couldn't get through with his resolve, he tried and stop the kissing, putting some distance between them and staring into her eyes. But Rachel didn't want him to back out. She caught the collar of his shirt with her fingers, dragging Ross towards herself and starting a new kiss, more passionate and intense.

That was typical Ross and Rachel fashion. Starting tentatively only to make things more confident and incredible in a second moment.

And every kissed they shared felt – oh so familiar. Yet, this time it was even so new.

Rachel knew what felt different. It was desperation. This urgent need of running his fingers through her long hair, the way she was keeping her hands on Ross's face, almost afraid to let him go.

But eventually, they had to part.

And Rachel had never been more disappointed in her life.

She had already lost this man once. And now she wasn't ready to lose him again.

And yet, she had to.

'Who am I kidding. This is NOTHING like kissing Chandler or Joey!' she thought.

Ross leaned his forehead over Rachel's, still gasping for air and recovering from that amazing kiss. His mind and heart were tortured with memories of his recent past.

Rachel asking him if he was over her. Rachel yelling at him at Central Perk. Rachel opening the door of the coffeehouse and the magical first true kiss they had shared. Rachel walking towards him after watching the prom video to kiss him with resolution. Their first night together at the museum. Their first I love you. Rachel walking down the aisle at Barry and Mindy's wedding. Rachel coming out from her room wearing a green dress, looking like a goddess. Rachel quitting her job. Rachel meeting Mark. Rachel trying to convince him that even if she had that new job, she still loved him more than ever. Rachel asking for a break. Rachel crying in front of him, stating that everything had changed forever.

Ross tried not to cry, but his feelings were betraying him. He felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes, and he wasn't ashamed to let them stream down his face.

Rachel immediately sensed his change of mood, and she used her thumbs to wipe his tears away. She slowly raised his chin, and Ross looked intently at her for the first time after the kiss.

"Happy New Year, Ross." She simply told him.

Ross stood up as fast as he could, "Happy New Year, Rach." He mumbled with a broken voice, as he walked towards the door.

Rachel waited for him to go out. She remained on her bed, the mistletoe that had started all this incredible turn of events was still next to her.

She was crushed, maybe even more than before. But she also felt relieved.

Rachel knew she had to stop lying to herself: she would never find anyone able to complete her like Ross. Nothing would change. Perhaps, she would never stop loving him.

But their time was over.

'Move on.' She thought to herself as she looked in the mirror.

If only it weren't so damn difficult.