I'm going to update this neverending fic with a new chapter.
This was requested by a reviewer, but I must admit I've had this ready for a while. I was waiting for the right moment to publish this, and I think this might be it.
If you hear something in the background since May 27, that is the sound of my brain blowing up as soon as I found out about David and Jennifer's crush on each other. I mean, not only us #javid - #jenvid shippers can be satisfied for the rest of our lives, but the Reunion gave a new perspective to the whole Ross and Rachel relationship.
They channeled their love and respect for each other into Ross and Rachel.
They did.
And I won't stop thinking about this for the rest of my life, because my first OTP ever was based on true feelings.
Because, as Chandler would say, "I KNEW IT!", I just knew that between those two the chemistry was too palpable, too real to be just an act.
And I won't stop thanking Jen and David for making this couple the best in the whole television history.
Episode: The Last One Pt. 2 (10x18)
"I really thought she'd stay".
A devastated Ross searched for some solace when he gazed at his best friend in disbelief.
"I'm sorry", Phoebe managed to say.
She held him tight, never wanting to let Ross go.
Phoebe remembered very well how she'd felt when David had left for Minsk. The second time, Joey had been the only person able to make her recover. He had been her constant.
But Rachel leaving for Paris and ignoring Ross's declaration of love…This felt even worse.
Ross and Rachel were her best friends, she'd supported their relationship since day one, always hoping that they would get back together.
The pursuit of Rachel in her grandma's taxi had been like hell, but Phoebe had been confident that when Rachel would hear Ross confess that he still loved her, that would be it.
Evidently, she was wrong.
Rachel was devastated.
She had walked through the tunnel with a thousand thoughts in her mind, and now she had found her seat on the plane.
Still incredulous for what had happened, Rachel took her mobile, preparing herself to call Ross.
She knew that he wouldn't be home, he was still there. Probably waiting for a miracle to happen, to see her appearing from the tunnel and behave differently.
She owed him an explanation.
After the machine beeped, she tried to focus on what she was supposed to say to Ross.
"Ross, hi. It's me." She introduced herself. "I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful."
She felt her heart beating so fast that she was almost out of breath.
Words came out of her mouth in such a rush that she couldn't stop them.
"That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And…"
I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Remembering Ross's look when he'd said those words physically hurt her.
"... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't."
I know you love me. I know you do.
"I mean; I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you."
Of course she loved him. This wasn't even an issue; she'd never been out of love with him.
She simply never had a chance to admit this, because this was the first time that Ross had expressed his true feelings. The first time in years that he had said "I love you" directly to her.
"I love you." Rachel murmured, again.
And suddenly she felt permeated by that old feeling.
Like the first time she had realized this fact. Out on the balcony, when she still lived at Monica's, daydreaming of Ross while he was in China.
"I love you." she repeated with conviction. "What am I doing? I love you!" she said, more resolute than ever. She was surprised by how natural it still felt, to say these three words to him.
Words that she'd never said to anybody else.
She stood up, reinforced by that revelation and by the strength of her love for Ross.
"Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane!"
She loved Ross.
She'd always known this; they had always known this. But they had pretended not to be in love anymore, they had ignored their real feelings.
Rachel couldn't believe that Ross had found the strength to ask her to stay. Not after how he had managed to support her in the decision to leave for Paris. He'd been amazing, he'd been the one to tell her to go to pursue her dream job.
But now he was begging her to stay; it meant that after spending that night together, Ross had realized that he still cared too much to let her go.
Maybe at least as much as she still cared for him.
Rachel called for the hostess, "Excuse-me?", her big bag in her free hand.
"Miss? Please, sit down!" the hostess intimated, evidently annoyed.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love them." Rachel confessed with a loud voice in front of all the other passengers.
She didn't care, all she wanted was to leave and get back to Ross.
Maybe he was still waiting for her. Maybe it wasn't too late.
"Miss, I can't let you off the plane." The hostess clarified. "I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat."
"Oh, please, miss, you don't understand!" Rachel complained, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. "Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off this plane?" she implored.
Her phone emitted a sound and Rachel realized that the already low battery was now completely over. Her mobile was dead.
"Damnit!" she screamed, stomping her feet on the floor.
The hostess was astonished by her behavior, "Miss, we already are one hour late. We really need to leave now; we won't allow any other madness on this plane!"
Rachel felt everyone else's eyes on her.
The man who had been sitting right next to her, the one who had heard Rachel's weird conversation with Phoebe, lowered his gaze in embarrassment.
"Listen…I know it's hard to understand this, I know there are rules. I was leaving because I wanted a change in my life. I found this great new job in Paris and I decided to take my daughter and move there. But I was making the worst mistake of my life."
The hostess and all the other passengers were hanging from Rachel's lips.
"Not only was I abandoning my family, my best friends and a city that had given me everything…But I was leaving behind the man I love…the man I've loved for the last ten years…" Rachel began to cry, feeling that she couldn't control her feelings anymore.
"He's the only one I've ever dreamed a future with…he's my soul mate."
Even if she was clearly touched by Rachel's tale, the hostess knew that she couldn't do anything to help her. "Miss…I can't…"
"No, you don't understand!" Rachel interjected her. "My mobile is dead, and if this plane leaves I won't be able to call this man and tell him that I love him and that I'm coming back home. I NEED TO GET OFF THIS PLANE!" Rachel yelled with desperation.
Tears were streaming down her face and Rachel was unable to control them.
"I have to see him. I have to go home." She pleaded.
The hostess sighed, "Your luggage is already embarked, I can't let you take it."
"It doesn't matter. I will fill out some stupid form to get it back, but you have to let me get off, please. I need to get back to him."
While the hostess looked at Rachel with disappointment, the man next to Rachel stood up.
"Come on, Miss, what's the problem here? We're late already, let her off the plane!"
Rachel stared at the man with newfound hope.
"She's desperate, and she is in love. Just let her go." He begged the hostess.
Rachel's hopeful gaze was the last straw.
"Wait a minute." The woman finally said.
Rachel complied, while the hostess had a fast conversation about this weird matter with the other staff members.
"Ok, you can go." she declared as she walked back.
Rachel sighed with relief, "Thank you."
"My colleague will escort you back to the gate."
"I really don't know how to thank you!" Rachel bawled through the tears.
"Just do me a favor: never fly again with this airline. Especially if Rhonda is in service."
Rachel chuckled, "Ok."
She took her bag and trolley and followed the other hostess towards the tail of the plane, and they went back to the tunnel.
She was already looking forward for Ross's reaction, she couldn't wait to see his expression when he would see her get back.
But when the flight attendant opened the door to the gate, her smile disappeared, just like Ross and Phoebe had.
They weren't there anymore.
"What do we do now?" Phoebe asked, feeling that the worst was over and Ross was ready to talk again.
"I just want to go home." Ross confessed.
Walking back to the cab was the most awful moment in Ross's life. Still in disbelief for what had happened, he couldn't speak. Actually, he couldn't even think.
He didn't even notice being in the car, with Phoebe driving back to New York.
"So, Ross…" Phoebe broke the silence after ten minutes. Ross looked like an empty shell, robbed of any good emotion. He was leaning on the window with eyes closed.
"Would you like to play 20 questions?"
Ross didn't respond, his eyes still closed. Even if he wasn't crying anymore, his heart definitely was.
"Ok…wanna play Car licenses?"
Still no answer from Ross.
Not knowing what do, Phoebe tried to ease the tension with what she thought she did best: she started to sing.
"Smelly cat, smelly cat…"
At least, the song provoked Ross's reaction, because he glared at his friend.
"Ok…Then radio it is."
Phoebe pushed a button to turn the radio on.
"I thought it was broken." Ross remarked.
"Made it fix a few weeks ago." Phoebe clarified.
Oh yeah, can you see them, out on the porch?
Yeah, but they don't wave
I see them 'round the front way, yeah
And I know, and I know I don't wanna stay
The Pearl Jam song triggered ancient memories in Ross's mind.
He used to listen to the band with Rachel. They'd been to one of their concerts together.
Today, knowing that Rachel loved this song as much as he did, hurt him. It was like a stab in the back.
And I know, and I know I don't want to stay at all
I don't want to stay
Rationally, he knew that this ain't no love song. But the few words he could distinguish hurt him anyway.
Because Rachel didn't want to stay either.
After an hour-long-trip, they were back to the city. Ross could see his building out of the car window.
"Ross…why don't you come back at Monica's? You could spend some time with your nephew and niece, you know…seeing that Emma is at Sandra's."
Ross shook his head slowly, "No. I'm sorry Pheebs, but I don't feel like seeing anybody. I just want to be alone. Besides, I think I could kill Chandler if he made jokes about this."
"Been there." Phoebe agreed.
This little comment made Ross finally smile.
"There it is." Phoebe sadly grinned back at him. "Ross, just remember that whatever happens, I'm here and I love you, ok?"
"I know." He sincerely responded. "Thank you for trying, Pheebs."
"You're welcome." She replied solemnly.
Ross left his best friend behind, ready to get back home.
Alone.
Rachel was looking around frantically, hoping to find Ross and Phoebe somewhere.
It wasn't the easiest thing to get out of the airport, and she was starting to lose hopes.
While running towards the exit, her eyes fell on the baggage claim area. She grabbed a form, knowing that she would have to require her luggage to get back from Paris. She casually folded the paper and put it in her bag. Many of her work clothes were in that luggage, but most of her belongings were still at Joey's, ready to be dispatched. She also had a few shirts and trousers inside her trolley.
She had been lucky.
She also realized she'd never been so less interested in clothes, before.
When she finally got to the exit, she looked everywhere, still hoping to get a glimpse of Ross or Phoebe. And when she finally did, her heart filled with joy.
"Ross! Phoebe!" she yelled, trying to get their attention.
But she didn't succeed: they were entering the cab, closing the car doors behind them without noticing her useless screams.
"Damnit!" she cursed again.
Now she needed to find a free cab.
Seeking carefully for an empty car, it took her ten minutes, but she eventually found a driver waiting for a new client.
"Hey!" she shouted. "Get back to town, as fast as you can!"
"Ok, Miss." The man replied.
Rachel was very nervous. She kept trying to turn on the mobile, with no avail.
She felt the need to talk with Monica about this, but she couldn't.
Rachel just sighed and lay her head on the seat cushion, all the emotions of that long day eventually wearing her out.
"Coming back from a long trip?" the driver asked her, looking in the rearview mirror.
Rachel instantly raised her head, "No, no…I was going to leave, but…now I'm coming back home."
"Lost the flight?" he wondered.
"Something like that." Rachel admitted.
The driver now seemed curious, "Are you in a hurry to get back? You look nervous, there."
Rachel stared at him with a deep gaze, "I've never been in such a hurry before."
The man smiled shrewdly, "Are you afraid of high speed?"
Rachel grinned, "I love high speed."
The driver immediately accelerated.
Ross let the keys fell on table, then he sank in the couch.
Noticing the red light of the machine, he pushed the button to play the messages.
"Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful."
He was very surprised to realize that Rachel had left a voice message. At least he wasn't the only one feeling terrible.
"That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things..."
He couldn't help it, though, he really wanted to give Rachel all the information before she could leave. He had felt the need to let her know that he still loved her.
"And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too."
Ross moved on the couch, unable to believe that Rachel had said those words back to him and now she was leaving for Paris.
"Because of course I do. I love you."
Then it was true. She still loved him.
"I love you."
Rachel kept repeating that sentence, as a mantra.
"I love you. What am I doing?"
Ross's mood suddenly changed. What was going on in Rachel's mind? Was she up to something?
"I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane."
"Oh my God!" he said, incredulous for this turn of events.
"Excuse me?"
"Miss? Please, sit down."
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them."
"Miss, I can't let you off the plane."
"Let her off the plane!" Ross yelled, without any rationality. He wasn't there, and yet he felt like he could see what was happening. As he heard that absurd conversation, Ross thought that if Rachel hadn't managed to get off, he would immediately buy a ticket for the next flight to Paris.
"I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat."
"Oh, please, miss, you don't understand!"
"Try to understand!" Ross accompanied Rachel's statement like a fool, still not realizing what was actually going on.
"Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off..."
Rachel had reached Ross's apartment and after thanking the driver, she had grabbed the bag with her carry-ons, running inside the building.
She felt like every step she was taking was one step closer to a new life goal.
It was a relief, finding out that she'd never been surer of anything else in her whole life.
Not when she had paced across Monica's living room to grab Ross's face and kiss him after watching the prom video.
Neither when she had left for London, ready to go and tell Ross that she still loved him.
If she compared this to all the stupidest decisions she had made in the last few years, now she recognized her indecision as a way of her heart to tell her that she was making the wrong choice. Like when she had divorced Ross after Vegas. Or when she had started that ridiculous relationship with Joey that had almost ruined her bond with Ross forever.
Tonight, she could almost punch herself in the face for that.
At every step, she thought about Emma. She'd almost taken her daughter away from her town, from her grandparents, from Aunts and Uncles who adored her.
From her father.
She had almost done to Ross the same thing that Carol had done years before, making him live without a child against his will. With the difference that Ben lived in New York. Emma would have been in Paris!
What was she even thinking? Ross had supported her in that decision, but of course he was hurting at the idea of losing Emma. He was such a dedicated father, this was madness! She knew how much difficult was to be a lonely mother. Joey and Monica had been helpful, sure. But they weren't Ross. He was Emma's father. They were a family.
Guilt surfaced for the first time as she climbed the stairs, feeling that she had egoistically decided to follow her dream job, blinded by the idea of working in Paris.
She could almost hear Ross screaming in her head, "You're the one that bailed on us."
Again. She was giving up on them. And for what? Paris was always there. She could make a trip whenever she wanted, maybe with Ross and Emma.
Millions of people dreamed of working in New York, and she wanted to leave this incredible town?
Maybe she wasn't looking for something new.
Maybe she was trying to escape from the truth.
And as she stepped in front of Ross's apartment door, she realized that she didn't want to run anymore. The truth was waiting for her behind that door.
§
And then she heard him. Yelling something, like he often did. One of the things that she hated and yet loved about him.
"No! No! Oh my God."
She decided to end that torture. Ross was there, he would be so happy to see her.
She just knew.
Rachel let the bag fall on the trolley next to the door and she opened it, seeing Ross bent over the answering machine, pushing almost every button at once.
"Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?" he asked to the inanimate object.
Words came out of her mouth in the most delicate and natural way, "I got off the plane."
Ross turned around fast, gazing at her with love and devotion.
Rachel sighed, unbelievably happy to be home.
That look in his eyes, she would never forget.
"You got off the plane." He murmured, his voice as soft as he could.
She began to cry, because after seeing Ross in front of her, she felt reassured about her choice to run back home.
If she ever had a doubt of wanting to get back with him, at that moment it disappeared. Those eyes had never looked so much in love before, not even when the two of them were actually a couple.
In fact, Ross thought that Rachel might be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his whole life.
He walked over and kissed her, immensely happy to be able to perform this act again.
He couldn't let go of her, almost afraid that she would get away again if he would.
"I do love you." Rachel assured, looking at him with deep affection.
"I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again." Ross expressed his feelings out loud.
"Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again." Rachel implored him.
"Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid." Ross promised.
"Okay. You and me, alright? This is it." Rachel searched for agreement in her partner.
"This is it."
Ross felt like those words were the best he'd ever listened and the easiest he'd ever said.
And yet, after that statement, he was suddenly brought back to that terrible night when he'd begged this woman, crying while saying, this can't be it.
Back then, Rachel had answered, How come it is?
Now, everything was different. They were together. Everything would be fine. Unless…
"Unless we're on a break" Ross blurted out, obviously without thinking.
Rachel rolled her eyes and gave him a look.
I will kill the guy, one day, she contemplated.
Idiot, Ross thought.
Then he saw Rachel's lips turning into a half smile, and he took it as a sign of acceptance. Maybe he was an idiot, but he was her idiot.
"Don't make jokes now."
These were Ross's last words before giving up to the temptation of kissing Rachel again.
It was so good to feel free to do so, knowing that she would always respond like that, that they were finally back.
They held each other, Ross felt Rachel crying into his shoulder. His eyes were glistening with fresh silent tears, too.
When Ross finally let her go, his eyes roamed over her face, "I can't believe you decided to stay."
"I did it for us." she said.
Ross nodded, a smile of joy spreading on his face.
Rachel left him for a second to recollect her belongings from outside the apartment, then she left her trolley and bag next to the entrance and finally closed the door behind her.
Ross took her hand and leaded Rachel towards the couch.
"Ross" she felt she owed him a better explanation, "I'm sorry that I got on that plane…but I was shocked, I mean…your words took me by surprise, I was so afraid…but I love you so much, I just couldn't find the courage to tell you."
Ross stroke her cheek gently while she talked.
"But when I got on that plane…everything became clearer. I realized I was abandoning you, and I knew I simply couldn't. I'm sorry, I was taking Emma away from you, I was leaving you behind…"
Ross shook his head and intervened, "Rach, you were doing what you thought was right for you. I've never mentioned this before because I didn't want to guilt you with the idea that you should stay for me. But I was going crazy, you know? I also managed to bribe Mr. Zelner to keep you in New York."
"What?" she inquired sharply.
"I was out of my mind." he excused himself.
"That's why they kept calling me back?"
"I will tell you everything, I promise. I'm sure you will even laugh about it."
"Ok." Rachel sighed again.
"I promise, they wanted you back because Mr. Zelner thinks that you're very good in your job. He felt sorry for firing you. And I used that sentiment to convince him and call you. I couldn't stand the idea of you going away."
"But…you were the first one to convince me to go!" Rachel recalled.
"That was when I found out that you really wanted Paris. I came to the conclusion that I needed to let you go because I want you to be happy."
"I'm so happy."
"Then I'm happy too…"
Rachel remembered having that conversation with Ross. "I know. That's why I'm here. I've always known that you want what's best for me. As much as I know that you love me, and this will never change."
"We've got so many things to talk about if we really want to start things up again…I've got things to say, I really wish we could take everything out to put all the bad things behind us, for good."
Rachel was nodding in approbation.
"I mean, if we want us to really work this time…"
"I know I do." Rachel instantly declared.
Ross smiled tenderly, caressing her arms again, "Rach, I swear, I'll be a better person. I won't make stupid mistakes anymore, I won't judge people you are friends with, I won't be jealous of other men."
Rachel scoffed.
"Ok, I'll try not to."
Rachel chuckled, "Ross, I know we've had our drama, but don't think that you were a bad boyfriend. I know you behaved at your worse when you acted crazy about my job, but I've been jealous too. I couldn't stand seeing you with other women, and sometimes I showed in the worse possible ways…"
"You mean with Julie…or Bonnie?"
"Yeah…" Rachel remembered how she had felt back then. "With Bonnie our relationship was far from over, there was this rollercoaster of emotions in me, like rage and regret…but not only then, I've been jealous of you even later, when we were just friends. Like with Elizabeth…or – or with Mona."
"Really?" he said with astonishment.
"Yeah, it was hard for me when you met Mona. Remember that night when I went out with that actor?"
"The one who thought that hemorrhoids are a bitch?"
"The genius, yeah." Rachel giggled. "I followed you to the Café, I really wanted to grab that coffee with you, I felt like we could take that first step to start things up again…but Mona came first."
Ross couldn't believe this, "You're telling me that if it hadn't been for Mona, we might have gotten back together then? No kisses on the balconies, no Joey, no Charlie?"
Rachel nodded miserably.
"We've lost so many chances."
"I know, honey. That's what I'm trying to say: we can't live in the past, we would go nuts."
"Ok…but my vow is still valid. I want to be a better person, I know now that you need space, that you deserve trust. You're are a wonderful independent woman, and I won't be the possessive jerk I was before, when I tried and control everything you did. That's a treatment I've suffered myself too late."
He was clearly thinking about Emily and her foolish idea to know where he was all the time. That feeling sucked. And knowing that when they were together he'd been so desperate to be a part of Rachel's work life, made him feel sick.
"Ross…if we really want to move on and forget the past…there's one thing we should talk about…once and for all."
Ross moved his hand in the air, "We were never on a break!" he stated bluntly.
Rachel chuckled, "Ross, seriously. I've had seven years to reflect on our breakup. As far as I am concerned, I'm ready to admit…to cheer up your ego…" Ross smiled. "That I was the one to ask for a break. As a matter of fact, we were on a break."
Ross decided to let that statement sink in. He then flashed an amused grin at Rachel, raising his fist in triumph, "Yes!" he silently shouted.
Rachel sneered, "But now I want you to admit what you've done, and I need you to tell me everything."
Ross's attitude immediately changed, as he sighed deeply and searched for the right words to recollect his feelings. He took her hands in his.
"You were right when you said that I cheated on you. I've always known." He eventually confessed, causing Rachel to lower her head, she still had major difficulties when she faced that particular topic.
"I wasn't trying to get out of it on a technicality, as you thought. I was just trying to justify what I did even if I knew that I was totally wrong. I couldn't accept the fact that I hurt you more than anyone else."
Rachel sighed, a silent tear began to trail down the side of her face as she stared forlornly at the floor.
Ross kept talking, "I behaved like a jerk whenever you and I broached the subject, but when I considered the facts with the guys, or Monica…well, I knew better."
Ross managed to smile as a memory came back, "When Frank Jr. came to town to inform Phoebe that he was getting married, she asked me and Joey to try and change his mind. However, Frank was the one to convince us that he was really in love with Alice."
Rachel was intrigued by that tale.
"I told him that I had a relationship like his and I ruined everything after sleeping with someone else. Subconsciously, I knew that it was all my fault."
"Ok, you're doing good, so far." Rachel groaned.
Ross felt a bit reassured by those words, "You need to understand that what happened was the greatest mistake I've ever made. But it happened only because I was afraid, no, I was sure…that I had lost you. I felt awful, I drank a couple of beers…and unfortunately Chandler and Joey had left, so they couldn't even try to prevent me from...you know."
"You're telling me that this is all Chandler and Joey's fault?" Rachel eased the tension with a joke.
"Not at all!" Ross immediately correct himself. He was trying to remember his exact feelings from that night, but it wasn't easy. "When I called you and I heard Mark's voice…I couldn't believe it." He shook his head. "And when you lied, trying to hide the fact that he was there…that was the final straw, it killed me."
Rachel didn't interrupt him.
"In retrospective, if I hadn't called you, it would have been better. I wouldn't have gone crazy with my stupid jealousy; I probably would have come back home…"
"But you didn't." Rachel concluded his thought with a broken voice.
Ross shook his head, "I was shocked, I had a stupid impulsive reaction, you know how my mind works. I slammed the phone down and cut our conversation short."
"You didn't give me a chance to explain." Rachel remembered.
"I know." Ross sighed deeply. "I don't remember much of what happened then. I think it's like a defense mechanism. When I woke up the next day, I had this terrible headache, with a bad hangover...And then I realized that Chloe was there."
Hearing that name hurt Rachel even more. But even if this conversation was awful, she knew they needed to take everything off their chest.
"What I know is that I never stopped thinking about you, that night. I wasn't looking for someone else other than you. I was out of my mind; I couldn't think straight. And I made a mistake. And the worse thing is that I did this to you. the person I love the most."
Rachel nodded; she had no words.
"I'm begging you to find the strength in your heart to forgive me for what I've done. Give me another chance, so that we can start fresh, like we almost did after Emma was born."
Rachel shook her head with tears in her eyes.
Ross caressed her face, "I love you. I've never loved anyone else as I love you."
Ross was pouring his heart out; his eyes were misty.
"Ross…" Rachel grabbed his hands again after wiping away the tears. "Love was never an issue. Even when we broke up and we got back again at the beach. I've never stopped loving you, I was just mad at you. Because you lost my trust back then and I couldn't stand the idea of living my life without you."
He nodded in comprehension.
"Believe me, I never stopped loving you even later. I was in love with you when you bought the yellow couch and you embarrassed me by telling a complete stranger how many times we did it."
He smiled at that funny memory.
"I was in love with you when we filed for divorce. Damn, I was in love with you when I had that stupid flirt with Paul."
"Really?" he inquired her.
"I never stopped. And I tried to show you how much I cared. Remember when we went out with Paul and Elizabeth? The way I tried to talk you up? I wanted to be a good friend in the first place, because I love you." she smiled tenderly. "So don't think it was a problem of love between us. It was just a matter of trust. I didn't want to be with a man who had betrayed me…and hurt me more than anyone ever did."
Ross nodded, feeling guilty and afraid that this conversation wasn't going in the right direction.
"But…" Rachel sighed. Ross felt his heart jump. "When I wrote you that letter…asking you to take full responsibility for what have happened…Well, that wasn't fair. I know, now."
"You think?"
"We were a great couple, and you were a caring boyfriend. Everything was fine until I got my new job. You were having a hard time; our relationship was on the line. I should have been stronger; I should have been the tough one. Make you understand that there was nothing between Mark and me. I should have taken your feelings in consideration."
"Oh, Rach…it wasn't your fault."
"You knew that Joanna was harsh, you couldn't say no when she was around. If she asked you to stay until late, you had to. And I wanted to be good at my job because I felt so proud of it."
"I know, now." Ross agreed. "Back then I was too afraid to accept all the changes, to understand that you needed to create you very own self. Our commitment maybe was too much for you, you needed to grow as a person. On the other hand, I kept thinking about our future, I wanted to marry you, having children…you weren't ready for that at 27."
"Maybe you're right. But if we reached that point of no return and I asked you to take a break…it was also because of me. It wasn't just your fault, Ross."
He sighed in relief, incredibly happy for her statement.
"I can't believe I'm the one to say this, but…even if we just recognized our mistakes, I don't care. It doesn't matter anymore, what matters now is the fact that I love you and that you're here. You got off that plane, and you made me the best gift I've ever received. I will try to spend the rest of my life to make you understand how much I appreciate what you just did, Rach."
"Sounds good…" she said, with a dreamy expression on her face.
"That's not all. I want you to know that…if you want to go to Paris…we'll go, together."
Rachel blinked and her eyes roamed over Ross's face, "Really?"
He nodded, "Yes. When I heard you confessing your love in my machine, the first thing that came to my mind was that I had to buy a ticket to Paris."
"Yeah?" she giggled.
"I couldn't stand being without you, and Emma…you're my family."
"Oh my god…" she raised her eyebrows at him, caressing his cheek.
"We can do anything you want. I want you to choose, for once your job must come first."
"What about your tenure?" she asked.
"Screw it. I can find a job in Paris, I have a Ph.D., it must be useful in France, too!" he joked.
Rachel chuckled, her eyes getting misty again.
When Ross saw that tender expression on her face, he couldn't hold it anymore, "God, I can't believe that you're really here." He whispered, squeezing her hand gently and bending over to kiss Rachel again, with more impatience, this time.
"Ross…I want to stay."
"Why?" he asked, afraid that she was choosing him and not herself.
"For our family…for Monica, Chandler, Phobe e Joey. For our parents. They all live here. I had this romantic idea that Paris could be a wonderful adventure on my own, you know? But this…" Ross felt her fingers flexing as she clasped his hand in hers. "This is even better."
"It's huge, isn't it?" Ross agreed.
"Yes, and it's…awesome. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am."
"Don't need to. Same here."
"So, we'll stay in New York." Rachel concluded. "I'll talk to Mr. Zelner, or maybe you can talk to him."
Ross chuckled.
"And if he doesn't want me back, I'll look for another job. It's not like we live in Maine, in a remote town where a clown wakes up every thirty years to kill children."
"Any chance that your travel book was IT?" Ross laughed for her quote.
"Maybe…" she replied.
"So…that's where we start from?" Ross asked timorously.
"Yes." Rachel repeated. "And I want to ask you what kind of living arrangements you have in mind."
"Easy. You and Emma can move in with me."
"Immediately?" Rachel urged him, grinning from ear to ear.
"Yes, sweetie." She loved the fact that he was calling her that again. "I want us to be a real family, no more time lost. We live together and we go back doing what we do best: being two great parents for Emma."
She was touched and excited, "Ok, then. I was hoping for you to ask me to move in, but I didn't want to rush things."
Ross grinned like an idiot, "I can't believe this!"
"Me neither." Rachel was smiling too. "I can't wait to go and get Emma tomorrow. You think she'll notice the difference? That we are back together?"
"She's never seen us kiss…maybe she'll realize something is going on, even if she's just one year and a half."
"Oh, I'm so looking forward to be just the three of us."
"And I really want to tell the gang that you came back. Phoebe was broken almost as much as me when you went away."
"Oh God, it's true. I haven't told anyone, yet! The battery was over, I couldn't call…"
Ross intriguing expression interrupted Rachel's thoughts, "What do you think if we take this tiny little piece of information for us…until tomorrow?"
"Mmm…I like the way you think."
They shared a fast kiss and Ross stood up from the couch, showing her his hand to invite Rachel to follow him. She thought he wanted to help her to stand, but as soon as she was in front of him, Ross kissed her again, more passionately. Like he had done a night of many years ago, outside the Café, under the rain.
It was so intense. He put his hands on her tiny waist, then they slid up to finally find Rachel's hair.
Their lips were moving in sync, like they had done a million times before.
And the kiss was accompanied by a million emotions at once.
Hope, satisfaction, mostly happiness.
Like Rachel had done that night, when they parted she leaned her forehead on Ross's.
"Wow." She murmured.
Ross chuckled because this moment reminded him of Rachel's reaction after their first kiss. Like they knew they had finally found a person to belong to.
"You were worth the wait." Ross quoted her. "And I don't just mean tonight."
Rachel smiled when she heard those words. She put her hands around Ross's neck, waving her waist imperceptibly. "Then let me tell you that…it's always been you, Ross."
He grinned, when he heard this, "I knew you were listening." He joked.
"What do you know? You say something like that, I was melting. If it weren't for that stupid list…" she shook her head with fake disappointment.
"Oh, by the way, do you finally want to hear your complete pro list?"
"I recall you started yelling numbers from outside the window. You never finished it."
"Let me show you." Ross purred. "I had to upgrade it after being together with you for a year. Now it deserves an R-rating."
Rachel chuckled, "Oh well, you've got my curiosity."
The two lovers clung to one another as they moved towards the bedroom.