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Chapter 6. Dursley who?
"Hey, Uncle Vernon, wake up, Inland Revenue Inspector Jones is at the door asking for you!"
Vernon felt like jumping and then sucker-punching the annoying boy, but when he opened his eyes, all he could do was move his eyeballs.
The little freak was looking at him with unbridled glee. He began to sweat.
"Man, for so long, I wanted you to feel just a bit of the fright I have felt ever since I was stranded on this hell hole you call a home," said Harry.
Vernon continued sweating, and Harry rolled his eyes at the man on the bed squirming in his frozen form. He added.
"Don't worry about Petunia or Dudley, they now hold the shape closest to their souls. The same for Marge. The only person I'm having trouble matching is you," He observed and looked sideways at the massive man in bed and added, "You, Vernon Dursley, deserve a cathartic form but I'm having trouble choosing one, Miss Granger, would you be so kind to help me with this dilemma?"
Hermione was laughing still at Harry's punishment of Marge. She sobered up and took a step forward, next to Harry, she added, "Change his form to that of shrunken Jibaro head and stick it on the dashboard of the Knight Bus, unable to free himself, but able to experience magic to a whole new level,"
"Okay," nodded Harry.
"I'm not done," said Hermione. Harry blinked, grinned, and waited for her to continue. "Okay, then, he gets to be a floor tile on the entry to the bathroom in the worst Scottish Bar, only to change later to a doormat at his company, Grunnings. Then toilet paper at the CEO's office restroom and if by the end, he is not crazy? He goes to jail for child endangerment and abuse,"
"Yikes, I can't wait for Ron Weasley to give you a dirty look," shared Harry.
"There is a special piece of Hell with his name on it. So, if he tries to throw crap in my direction? He will regret it, this I swear," said Hermione in a low tone of voice. Which made the two males in the room shiver.
Harry cleared his throat, then said to Vernon, "Okay, so, Mr. Tiny head, enjoy your lovely sojourn," he snapped his fingers using the Elven magic touch.
Hermione transfigured three bags of dirt into the body doubles of the Dursley family, while Marge retained her canine form.
The Dursley family were later found dead in the Grunnings company car, they had an accident and ended up dead in a ditch. Marge in dog form was sent to a shelter, along with Ripper. Harry sent a letter to Mrs. Figg, saying that his real family came back to take him away.
Days later, news coverage came to Privet Drive and Wisteria Lane that the four missing members of the Dursley family had suffered a tragic fate. Nobody knew or volunteered information on Harry Potter. Marge remained missing.
The Petunia bush developed beautifully, and Dudley was eaten by a passing Robin. Vernon did go insane by the end of his loop. The loop continued and he was still a floor tile when he cracked and passed away. Marge gave birth to pedigree pups, though she was fixed after the birth, she had to undergo a c-section. Ripper died of old age.
Before Harry's tenth birthday, the missing person's file on Marge Dursley was closed as she was found in a mental institution in the U. S. the woman had acute amnesia, and a C-Section, no ovaries or uterus. A real mystery. But, since she ended up in the States, the MACUSA and the British Ministry remained uninterested, while their mundane counterparts just scratched and shrugged, wondering at the odd turn of the Dursley family.
Mrs. Figg could not figure out what took place at 4 Privet Drive, and why it all went to hell for that, anything but normal, family. It was just strange luck. Little Harry did leave a letter for her, the only person who was nice to him. He thanked her for being a kind neighbor when everyone else just judged him as a street urchin. She took him into her home and made him feel part of a weird cat family. She still cried a little, but she smiled too at his chicken scratch and the pictures of her and all her cats. Albus Dumbledore could rot in hell. She kept the letter after she told him what an absolute piece of trash he was for leaving that sweet boy with such awful relatives and closing her chimney and door to his face. She moved back to Hogsmeade, next to Aberforth's. She liked him better as a neighbor. Arabella and Aberforth shared the same views, neither could stand Albus Dumbledore.