A/N: Well I had a mini panic attack when my internet cut out this weekend. And it's nice to hear people liked the cat army, I figured that animals are always portrayed as being aware of the supernatural and cats can be very mischievous. It was a match made in heaven (or maybe hell, depends on who you ask). Hope you all enjoy and feel free to leave a review!
The World's Worst Sister
It was just supposed to be a short shopping trip. A normal day. His sister, Lambo, and Reborn were nowhere to be seen. So why was there a woman on a bicycle trying to kill him with a soda?! For once he was glad that he had little to no hand-eye coordination. This had to be connected to Reborn somehow, every life threatening situation was.
The door to Tsuna's room slammed open and Shizuka looked up from her book curiously. He was clearly out of breath and had a death grip on the grocery bags. "I think you were supposed to leave those downstairs." Shizuka says, trying to distract him. Tsuna blinked, tossing the bags onto his floor and flopped onto his bed. Shizuka winced, hoping that Nana hadn't asked for anything that could break.
"I think someone is actively trying to kill me. Again." Tsuna groaned, the book Shizuka was reading slammed shut. "Reborn related?" She asks warily, Tsuna nodded. "It isn't like I wanted to be involved in the mafia! What am I going to do?!" Shizuka looked thoughtful. "You're not alone, remember? Maybe you could ask Yamamoto and Gokudera for help." That seemed to encourage Tsuna a bit, Shizuka sighed. Now she had to figure out how to keep Tsuna alive, again. She was really starting to hate the mafia.
XoXoXoXoXo
Shizuka and Tsuna were both surprised to see Yamamoto waiting near their house the next day with his usual jovial grin. He waved. "Since my arm is out of commission I thought I'd walk you to school. That alright with you?" He asks, Tsuna looked like he was on the verge of crying. Shizuka was just wondering how the teen knew where they lived. It was a little creepy if she was completely honest.
Bianchi had tried tossing Tsuna another soda, only for Yamamoto to instinctively swing his bag and knock it away. Shizuka and Tsuna looked up into the sky as the can became nothing but a small dot. Unfortunately for a local bird the soda can hit it out of the air and it gave a panicked chirp. Yamamoto gave a sheepish grin. Everyone looked at the baseball player in stunned silence. "Sorry ma'am, conditioned response." He says with a shrug. That wasn't even his dominant hand. Is this kid super human? Shizuka wondered, looking at the teen with suspicion.
Gokudera was unfortunately out of town, having to restock his dynamite supply. At least their small town had some common sense and didn't have any explosives. No, instead they had a weapons shop that the Hibari family frequented. One time Tsuna saw one of Kyoya's men buy what looked like a medieval torture device. The delinquent and Tsuna shared an awkward stare and Tsuna decided it would be safer not to ask any questions. He did not need to know why they would need a torture rack!
Bianchi even followed Tsuna into his school, a single touch turning food unrecognizable. Most of the time it turn an eerie purple or black and would emit a foul stench. How was Tsuna the only one that noticed the clearly deadly food?! Shizuka, a fellow lover of cake, let out a whimper as the hit woman proceeded to try killing her brother with poisoned cake. She made sure it missed him of course, and both their jaws dropped when the fallen dessert ate through the floor. "That monster! How could someone turn cake into such a weapon of evil?!" Shizuka wailed.
Bianchi was becoming more and more infuriated with each failed assassination attempt. From the information leaked from the CEDEF this kid should've been a civilian with no way to protect himself. Every time that she would throw her poisoned food at the boy he would either trip out of the way or that smiling teen would hit it away. When she had poisoned Kyoko's dish, knowing without a doubt that the teen wouldn't deny his crush anything, the girl's personality turned a 180 and exclaimed that she accidentally used expired milk. She was on her way to the trash can when she tripped, Bianchi's cake landing on the hit woman's face.
The older teen ran out of the room screaming, no one noticing a smirk that looked completely alien on Kyoko's innocent face. As her classmates went to help Kyoko off the ground, Shizuka exited her body. "There, now she has a taste of her own poison. And there are no casualties or drama to deal with." She says proudly.
XoXoXoXoXo
Bianchi made another attempt at Tsuna's home, disguised as a pizza delivery service. Tsuna dodged the pizza with a startled shriek as Shizuka pinched the bridge of her nose. "Really? Vongola Pizza? Does she think that you're brain dead?" "Why are you trying to kill me?!" Tsuna exclaimed. Bianchi stood tall, a fierce fire in her eyes. She pointed her finger dramatically at Tsuna. "You are nothing but an obstacle in my journey to Reborn's heart!" Shizuka and Tsuna stared at the crazy woman, jaws slackened.
"Y-You do know that he's a toddler, right?" Tsuna asks weakly. It was a disturbing concept to think of a young woman in love with Reborn, Shizuka was pondering whether they should report her to the police. Or get her checked into a mental institute, she clearly had more than a few screws loose. Bianchi's eyes narrowed and Tsuna just wanted someone to save him from this woman. "Listen, if you want Reborn you can have him. I wouldn't dream of getting in the way of your-" Tsuna was struggling to find the right wording.
"True love. She looks crazy enough to buy it." Shizuka whispered. "Your true love. Have you tried talking it over with him?" Tsuna asks. "Without coming off as a psycho stalker?" Shizuka quipped, Tsuna shot her a glare. He wanted to come out of this situation alive, darn it! "Ah, I see you've met your new tutor." Reborn says, walking into the foyer. "What the hell! I should have heard him enter the room, how does he do that?!" Shizuka exclaims.
"New tutor? She's been trying to kill me all day!" Tsuna protests, Reborn just took the complaint in stride. "If Bianchi really wanted you dead, you would be a corpse by now." That is complete and utter bullshit. Both the siblings thought, looking at the infatuated Italian.
Bonus drabble: How Bianchi got kicked out of the Sawada house
"We need to get rid of her somehow! Mama almost ate her cooking." Tsuna exclaims. "Can we use the cats?" Shizuka asks, Tsuna shot her a look. "No, no cats. We just got all of them out of the house!" Shizuka grumbled something under her breath. "The only one she seems to listen to is Reborn and he isn't doing anything about it." Tsuna suddenly got an idea and he grinned. "I know that look, and I like the direction this is going in. So what's the plan?" Shizuka asks.
"Easy, we'll just make it Reborn's problem. Bianchi poisons any food she touches, right? We'll just convince her that feeding her darling Reborn will be romantic." Shizuka stared at the teen in shock. "Finally, a sign that we're actually related!" Shizuka cried dramatically, temporarily turning solid to suffocate him in a hug.
Tsuna quickly looked around to see if Reborn was around, so far so good. He was nowhere to be seen, most likely looking for the next guardian candidates. "Hey Bianchi?" The woman narrowed her eyes at Tsuna, but made no move to poison him. Thankfully she knew to control herself around Nana. "Yes?" She asks, waiting impatiently for Tsuna to continue. "I was wondering... don't couples usually feed each other?" He asks innocently.
Bianchi thought it over for a moment and ruffled Tsuna's hair. "There may be hope for you yet." She says, joining Nana in the kitchen. Tsuna and Shizuka both looked to one another and snickered. "Let's get some snack food. This show is going to be good." Shizuka says gleefully.
Reborn sighed, the potential Sun guardian was obsessed with boxing and Hibari was a violent prefect that was more likely to kill Tsuna. At the moment, all he wanted was some of Nana's heavenly cooking and a cup of espresso. There was already a cup out for him and it looked normal enough. He took one sip out of the cup and his face turned an interesting shade of green. While he wasn't weak enough to be killed by such an underhanded tactic, his aim was thrown off as he shot at his admirer.
"Reborn? Isn't Bianchi supposed to be my other tutor?" Tsuna asks with a deceptively sweet smile. Shizuka sniffled and wiped away a fake tear. "I have taught you well."