"Hey. How are you feeling?" startled at the sight of him. It's not that you weren't expecting him to be there, it was just, on your way, you hoped he'd be fast asleep or something, save you from an awkward encounter with him after your folly last night.
"In a lot of pain, but I'll live. Can't say I had worse, but I'll live. Got a really good doctor to look after me."
"I am not a doctor, John."
My father was a doctor. He had a clinic and lived a life that wasn't anything like this. He didn't run with outlaws or mended them when they get shot, punctured, or beat up. Your father, throughout his profession, didn't question the morality of his patients as they walked in his clinic. He didn't have second thoughts about whether treating them was the right thing to do or not - because unlike these people, they were normal people living decent lives. They didn't get fever because they robbed stagecoaches or held up train passengers, they didn't get shot at because they were in a shootout with the law right after robbing banks.
What are you doing here anyway? That was a question the other part of you had been constantly asking. Well for one, you didn't have anywhere else to go to. It was just you and your dad all you've known in your life, and now he's gone. It wasn't that you hated your life now – you are thankful for it every day. It's just that there is that persistent thought that kept scratching at the back of your head – if not this, then what?
"An angel then." John's low raspy voice pulled you back in from your thoughts.
"I ain't an angel either." You courteously dismissed.
"What are you then?" He asked.
"I… I'm just me, John." It was all you could say to him.
"Well... Thank you, [Y/N], for being you." He smiled gently; his eye that wasn't covered in bandages met yours You immediately looked away as you felt your face warming up. He looked like shit, but damn if you didn't find him attractive in his union suit.
"Great that you're feeling better…" You trailed off, your eyes following Jack who was sauntering off to his corner in the room. "I just dropped by to get my things."
"Yeah you were so drunk last night."
"I'm sorry. It was embarrassing, what I did."
"Don't be. Looks like you had a lot of fun." He responded rather unsympathetically. You sensed a hint of bitterness in his voice.
"I did." You admitted.
"Good for you. Looks like Arthur had a bit of his fun too. Heard him laughing quite loudly from your place all the way here." He forced a smile. If he was teasing you, he was not doing a good job at it.
Your brows furrowed at him, caught off guard by his remark.
"Oh, it wasn't anything like that, John." You shook your head.
"Nah, say no more. Just saying, good for you both." Suddenly realising how he just sounded, his mood shifted, and he cheerfully dismissed the subject. There was an uncomfortable silence between you two.
You picked your bag up and turned to him once more.
"Well I'm already here. I might as well check your stitches." You hesitantly walked to him. When he didn't react, you sat next to him, leaving a few safe inches between you and him. "May I?" Your hand slowly reached for the bandages on his face. He nodded, never looking at you.
"There ain't any signs of infection on them stitches, so you should be okay." You said reassuringly. When he didn't respond, you tried to cautiously steer the conversation back to the subject earlier.
"Whatever you are thinking, it ain't nothing like that." You spoke softly and truthfully.
"Mm-hmm." He hummed.
"Do you have something you'd like to say, John Marston?" Starting to become slightly annoyed at his sudden passive-aggressiveness towards you.
"Nothing, just thank you… for everything." He said with finality.
"Okay. I'll see you around, John." You said, feeling disappointed. Not sure why you'd hope this conversation would lead elsewhere – that was stupid of you to hope.
Abigail came in as you were just leaving. Not entirely surprised as she did ask Jack to tell your things were still there.
"Oh, Ms. [Y/N]. The boys just came back. Dutch is looking for you." She said as she approached John, sitting right where you were just a few moments ago.