September 13, 2010

Carl had insisted on going to school today, and my mom needed to do some grocery shopping amongst other errands, so I was left to my own devices. This gave me time for what I really came down here for. My father.

The hospital wasn't much of a walk from my house, maybe thirty minutes, and I left early in the morning, so that the sun wouldn't suffocate me too much, but I was still sweating through my shirt when I got to my destination.

I gave the receptionist my name, and she gave me a visitor's wrist band before I went to my father's hospital room in the south wing.

He sat there, the same as a few days ago, except his beard was starting to grow in. It was a cool seventy degrees fahrenheit in the hospital, and he had on a gown that I know he'd hate anyone else seeing him in.

He had his own room at least, and it was a nice one. We lived in a small community, one of which that was very pro-police and veterans, so I'd imagined that they may have given extra effort into making sure that he was comfortable and looked after. A television hung on the wall, turned on, but I paid it no mind. I walked over to Dad, pulling up a chair and sitting next to him. I took his hand in mine. It was warm but limp. Alive but dead.

Sitting down in the chair, I could do nothing but look at him, the sound of his heart monitor beeping steadily in the background.

"Dad," I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I am. I haven't been here. I've been… workin' on my own shit. That's no excuse though. Somethin' could have happened, and I wasn't here. I wasn't-" I was cut off by the onset of my own tears.

My dad just sat there, his eyes closed, heart monitor beeping indifferently in the background.

"There was a girl," I continued on. "I met her at college. I loved her. It happened fast. We were together only ten months, but it was something special. It felt like everything had just aligned, and that she was my fate. She was different. Smart and tough. I thought she was perfect. I thought everything was goin' perfectly, and then she was just gone. A quick text and I never saw her again. Not at school. Not at all. My calls went straight to voicemail. Eventually, I stopped trying. But I've never stopped wondering if I did something wrong. If I drove her off."

The heart monitor continued to beep.

"But it doesn't matter anymore. She's gone, and that was her choice. To leave me. And it was my choice to fall apart about it," I didn't fully believe my own words. "But I'm here now. And I'm sorry for not being here before. When you got shot. If anything worse happened, I don't know that I could have lived with myself. But I ain't just sorry for that. I resented you. And mom. For having me. For bringing me into this and struggling for me. For giving up your lives back in Kentucky for me. For naming me after your dads and always trying to impress them. You guys struggled in raising me. You weren't perfect. You argued in front of me. I knew more than I should have. But you were just kids. It wasn't your fault. I get that now. And I'm sorry."

I lowered my head in shame, wiping away the bit of tears that had formed.

That was when I noticed what was playing on the television for the first time.

"... reports of cannibals have surfaced. An unidentified source has submitted video evidence of an attack which will we air, but we must warn in advance that what you're about to see is graphic. Viewer discretion is advised."

The screen cut to a blurry video taken from above a scene that was laid out on a freeway. Ambulances sat below. One EMT appeared to be helping out a deceased man. It was a relatively normal for what you'd expect an emergency response to look like, until the deceased man arose, grabbing onto the EMT and biting into him. Nearby police officers began battering the man with batons, until one got the bright idea to pull out a gun and start shooting. The man was shot in the chest multiple times, causing him to fall to his knees. Though the shots to the chest didn't seem to do much more than that to him. He stood back up and kept coming at the cops.

Then the scene cut back to the news reporter.

Jesus fuck.

"The CDC is advising that this is in connection to an infection, though no details have been given on the nature of this infection. Individuals are being advised to not panic, and stay at home in the meantime, as well as keeping up good hygiene practices. This infection is said to spread similarly to rabies. Do not make contact with anyone expressing odd or aggressive behavior. Get away as quickly as you can, and contact your local emergency authorities."

What was going on?

I looked down at my dad, helpless in the gurney. I couldn't help but picture him like that dead man that had gotten back up and bitten the EMT. No, that wasn't him. It wouldn't be.

"You watch the news today?" I asked Shane from where he sat across from me at the dinner table.

My mom had opted for a rotisserie chicken from the local grocery store tonight, and Shane had agreed to come over after his shift and eat with us.

"Was a busy day today," Shane sighed.

"Yeah, I bet. They were talkin' more about those attacks like on the news last they had footage this time. Saw a guy eat another guy's face, it was-"

My mom gave me a scolding look.

"What?" I asked.

"Not at the dinner table," she replied firmly.

"Okay, whatever," I shrugged, and grabbed another bread roll from the center of the table.

"I do have some good news, Carl," she said.

He looked up hopefully.

"Grandpa Arthur and Grandma Joan are coming tomorrow."

"I thought they weren't gonna come!" he said, glee in his voice.

"They changed their minds," she nodded. "Uncle Jeff is gonna rent out an SUV from the airport and come out here."

"Uncle Jeff is coming too?!" he asked.

"Oh yeah. And all the kids. And Aunt Melody."

"It's gonna be a full house," Shane remarked.

It sure was. And I wasn't looking forward to it. Jeff and Melody popped out kids like nobody's business. The first one, Bryson, was eight. Then Lana was six. And Garrett was three. Uncle Jeff was only thirty-four, so I suspected that they weren't quite done yet.

At this point, I thought about taking up Shane's offer in going to stay at his place, but I didn't want to leave Carl alone.

I definitely didn't want to share my room with any of them though.

"Carl can sleep in my room," I offered.

"Can we bring the xbox in there?" he asked.

"That's fine with me, we don't need Bryson seeing those games," my mom agreed. "Grandma and grandpa are going to need to sleep on a real bed, they're old. And my bed is the only one big enough for both of them, so I'll take Carl's room."

"What about Uncle Jeff and everyone else?" Carl asked.

"Well, I was hoping you'd help me take out the air mattresses," she replied.

"Sure," Carl agreed, then rolled his eyes when my mom looked away.

I tried to disguise my smirk with a cough.