Notes:
Thanks so much for reading. Hope you're enjoying so far. New chapter is up! This one happens during the party in Horseshoe Overlook. Javier is so sweet and thoughtful tho! 3
Chapter Text
"Have you seen John anywhere?" you asked Tilly nonchalantly the next day, as you girls went on about your chores around the camp.
"I think he headed out to town or somewhere, up pretty early too. Why?"
"Oh. It's just he… He said he wanted me to look at his stitches." You lied.
Why are you looking for John anyway? If he were around, what would you say to him? That last night was a mistake. No last night wasn't a mistake, because it felt good and you couldn't sleep just thinking about it - John's face and raw scars so close to you, his lips on yours, the feel of his tongue in your mouth as you parted your lips for him so willingly.
"Right." Tilly answered, sounding bored and not really paying attention to you, she returned to her sewing.
At least he's not around, so that should save you from another awkward encounter with him. On the other hand, not knowing where he is and that he'll show up at any moment with his stupid face, is driving you to your wit's end!
Why would he go after you to Flatneck Station? He got worried. That's it. Nothing to it – but, going after you or anyone who might be in trouble is more of an Arthur thing. It's not really John's thing. Maybe he'd go if it were Abigail or Jack, not that you'd really wish it on Abigail or Jack, but not you – and then there was that other night! Why would he come to your tent and help you fix yourself up huh? Being all sweet and caring wearing that goddamn smile of his. The nerve!
'What is happening to me?'
A few steps away from you and Tilly, Karen had dropped the firewood she was holding as soon as she caught glimpse of the ginger-haired man beside Arthur, Charles, and Javier. Her eyes could not believe it, her mouth slightly agape. She paused for a minute to make sure it was really him. She thought she'd never seen him again.
"My god! He's back! Everyone! Sean's back." Karen almost jumped for joy, pressing her hand over her lips.
Sean MacGuire's return did you good as it did everyone else, as it had calmed your nerves and you genuinely felt relieved that he was alive and well. You like Sean. He was okay. He's like everyone's annoying brother.
"What's wrong? Didn't you miss me?" you were lost in your thoughts; you didn't notice how distant you looked to everyone else – you were smiling and looked happy, you seemed happy at least, but that didn't really fool Javier Escuella.
He was walking towards you, holding out his arms, as if expecting a hug from you.
"Quit it." You swatted his hand away lightly, because it looked like he was really going to hug if you didn't. "But that was mighty brave of you rescuing Sean like that." You answered him coyly and he gave you a rather proud smile.
"Come on, looks like there'll be drinking tonight, and lots of it." He motions for you to join him.
"Oh! I am not drinking with you again!" you retorted.
"Ha-ha! And why not?" He shot you a questioning look, with a mischievous grin. He hasn't really forgotten the last time you went drinking with him.
"At least join us, okay?" He continued when he didn't hear anything from you. You followed behind him to join the others who are now listening to Sean's drunken speech. Your eyes wandered around searching for John.
When the sun had gone down, almost everyone's intoxicated, except you – you know well by now that nothing good came out of you getting all drunk. Music from Javier's guitar and everyone signing to Ring-dang-doo filled the camp. You never liked the song. You thought it was obscene, so you never sang along with it, but the scene before filled your heart – to see them happy and celebrating like this – like Blackwater is just some distant memory now.
A couple of you were sitting around the fire. You sat next to Javier with your second bottle of beer for the night – which is so good for you, when the others had at least seven by now and most likely with some hard liquor. When the Ring-dang-doo song ended, Javier put down his guitar to take another swig of beer.
When he asked you about it, you told him about your unfortunate encounter with the men back at Flatneck Station. Funnily enough, you found out, the reverend seemed to have no recollection of it whatsoever when you saw him listening to you intently, as if he weren't there.
"Oh, that reminds me. Here." You fished for your pockets for some bills. "I owe you, remember?" earning a smile from Javier – he never expected you were going to pay him back.
"You know, Señorita, there's still that interest rate… I'm pretty sure I discussed it with you." he teased you. "No, but seriously. You gotta learn how to shoot. I might teach you one of these days." He gave you a wink and picked up his guitar again. You told him you'll get some fresh air before he started to play his next song.
You must have not noticed the time pass by when you were hanging around the campfire with the others, as you could hear John's drunken voice somewhere. It seemed he was with Bill. They were at the table next to Pearson's wagon. Your heart almost leaped when you saw him again for the first time since… since that kiss last night.
'Since when did he get back?!' You asked yourself, surprised.
You tried your best to stay calm and steered clear of the area, making sure that they couldn't see you from where you were standing. From where you were standing though, you could still hear their conversation – they were pretty drunk and loud after all.
"…You know I love liquor. I love liquor, but liquor don't love me." Bill said to John, his words dragging and slurring. John sniggered as if something clicked and it was the funniest thing he ever heard.
"I know what you mean!" John exclaimed and the pair burst into laughter.
'What. What does he mean he knows what Bill means? Did he mean, I love him, and he doesn't love me? Am I the liquor? Is John the liquor?' A dozen questions swirled in your mind, it made you dizzy – so dizzy that the next thing you saw was Abigail standing next to John, saying something you couldn't make out before storming off disappearing into the woods. She seemed angry you thought.
"C'mere my sweet!" You heard John call to Abigail. He held his arm out as if it was going to bring Abigail back. He was still laughing when he rose from his seat. "Now she really hates me!" He said, as he sauntered off to the direction where Abigail disappeared.
Your face felt hot as if you've just been made the biggest fool. Arthur was right. You walked briskly into the direction of your tent. Tears starting to well in your eyes – 'just need to keep it together, [Y/N].' You cheered yourself up. No one must see you like this – not when you're a mess like this, not especially when you're going to burst into tears any moment. Just a little more -
"Hey! Hey, hey, [Y/N]. Señorita!" you bumped into Javier. You were so caught in your emotions you didn't notice him walking straight to you. Apparently, he had been looking for you. You discreetly turned your head away from him, so he couldn't see your face.
"How about we start that shooting lesson tomorrow, ei?" he asked. He looked puzzled at your sudden standoffish behaviour.
You gave him a quick nod, accepting his offer, as if on reflex. You just gave him the first response that came to mind so that he can leave you alone. "Goodnight, Javi." You finally said, and you disappeared into your tent.