Summary: Javier teaches you how to shoot and, out of nowhere, John asks if the two of you could talk about the other night. ~~
Okay, you can do this [Y/N]. Pop! Nope. Missed it.
Pop! Missed it again.
Pop! Dammit.
"Javier, this is hopeless!" you whined like a little girl.
"This is not hopeless, [Y/N]. Come on. You need to learn this. You need to be able to defend yourself. Okay, now one more time." Javier said calmly. His patience with you, even at this point, was astounding. You've lost patience with yourself a few minutes ago.
The bottle that Javier laid on top on of one of the fence posts at a nearby clearing was still intact, standing there all high and mighty, mocking you at every shot you fired and missed.
"Watch me, Chulita." Javier demonstrated with ease. He even explained it a little slower this time for you.
With ease, he aimed and pulled the trigger. Pop! and the bottle shattered into pieces.
"I've seen you stitch us up many times, so those eyes and hands should be able to do this, too." He gestured in the air. He was sauntering off to the fence post to replace the bottle he just shot, when you felt something crawl on your feet. You looked down to see what it was and instantly panicked when you saw a snake creeping under you.
You shrieked in horror. You never knew how snakes scared you so much until now, you accidentally pulled the trigger – pop! And the next thing you heard was Javier grunting then cursing in Spanish.
"What, you're trying to kill me now, [Y/N]?" He asked rhetorically, laughing as he felt the sting in his lower leg.
"Oh my god!" you rushed to Javier's side, realising that you have just accidentally shot him in the leg. "I am so sorry, Javier!" slightly relieved to see that it the gunshot wound he sustained wasn't that bad, but it still did look it hurt.
"I am so sorry – there was a snake, then, then I panicked…I'm so sorry, Javier." You stammered. You seemed more distressed than Javier was.
"I had worse, ha-ha. Ugh, now help me up, will you? I think we're done here for the day, Señorita." You nodded obediently, you took his arm and placed it on your shoulders. You helped him mount Boaz, and the pair of you rode back to camp.
"I'm telling you, Dutch! The girl can't shoot!" Javier announced jokingly to Dutch much to your embarrassment. Dutch was watching you two, puzzled at the state Javier was in.
You explained to him earlier that Javier was going to give you shooting lessons. He saw you picking up empty bottles from last night and placing them carefully in your satchel.
"On the contrary, Mr. Escuella. She can shoot – just the wrong target." Dutch answered Javier, as he placed a cigar between his mouth. He chuckled at his own joke.
"Can somebody, please assist Mr. Escuella here?" Dutch ordered.
"What happened to him?" you heard John approaching. You froze at the sound of his voice and swallowed hard. You were not prepared at all to talk to him now, let alone see him. Your heart started to beat faster.
"Ask her." Javier answered John, as he took Javier from you.
"Javier here's been teaching me how to use a gun, and…and then I saw a snake, and I panicked, and I accidentally pulled the trigger." You stuttered, your eyes avoiding John.
"Ah! I see. Must've been a one scary looking snake." He commented. You could sense a hint of snide in the way he said it.
"Thank you, John. Can you bring him to my tent, please? Might be easier, my things are already there." John did as told and helped Javier sit down your cot.
"Can I talk to you, [Y/N]…When you're done?" John asked you softly, not really minding that Javier was there.
"Ugh. Sure." You hesitated, caught off by his question. John nodded and left.
"Something going on between you two?" Javier asked innocently, finally breaking the silence after some minutes as you worked on Javier's gunshot wound.
"Nothing." You lied, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly.
After taking care of Javier, you told him he can stay there for as long as he needs. You headed out to look for John, and when you couldn't see him anywhere nearby, you figured he might be in your usual spot by the tree.
"We might have to start hiding our guns away from you." John casually joked when you finally caught up with him. You blushed in embarrassment, knowing that the gang's not going to let go of this joke any time soon.
"Javier's fine now. He's resting." You gestured with your hand, pointing in the direction of your tent. Deep down, your mind was racing – about what John will say, what you will say, about that kiss the other night.
"Haven't seen you yesterday. I was, uh – out in town. Picked up a few things for Abigail."
Abigail. Not exactly the first thing you wanted to hear him say to you, and especially you could swear he's been avoiding you the entire day yesterday.
"About the other night -" he continued. John was never good with words, and you as well. You have so many words in mind, so many things you wanted to say to him, to ask him, but the right thing to say at the right moment has always eluded you.
"What did it mean to you?" you asked him curiously.
"Did it mean anything to you?" he asked back. You were starting to get annoyed at this habit of his – being so elusive and the way he shirks almost everything, including this, he's got to ask you first instead of just saying what's exactly on his mind.
"It did, John." You said, giving yourself some sense of relief being able to say it out loud.
"It did for me too." John answered softly.
"—but I just don't know how I feel about it." He admitted. You face starts to feel hot again at the words you just heard from him.
"Or about me?"
"Yeah, uhm no. It's not that, [Y/N]. There's just a lot of things going on right now. I can't think straight." He sounded flustered.
"And you weren't thinking straight when you kissed me?" you prodded further.
"I mean, I told you. There's just a lot of things going on right now, there's Abigail and then Jack." He tried his best to explain to you, but the more words he spoke that more he was just hurting you.
"Right. I think you made yourself pretty clear. I should get going." You dismissed him. Deep down somewhere you thought he might have more to say, but he's already broken your heart so much; you really didn't want to fall apart in front of him.
"Well, how do you feel about it?" you paused in your steps when you heard him ask. He's at it again.
"Oh, I can tell you a lot of things about how I feel about that kiss, but, seeing that there's a lot of things going on right now with you I think it's all fucking irrelevant. I… I'll see you around, John." Already tired and hurt, you snapped back at him and left.
(Through John's POV)
Great. Just great. You fucked that one up too, Marston. What YOU meant to say was that you like her, okay? You like her. You've been fascinated by her ever since Dutch brought her in that night and all those times you spent with her and you started to have these glimpses into what she is, and what she truly is. You haven't even mentioned how beautiful she is and how you wouldn't mind kissing her over and over and doing other things with her. What you wanted to say to her was that you didn't really want to drag her into this whole mess that you're in right now – because you are a mess, John Marston, a big fucking mess! The biggest fuck-up you've known. There's Abigail and Jack, poor kid, and everyone else constantly reminding you that every day... and maybe when all this mess is sorted out, you can have another try at it and see where this goes with her, if she's okay with that, that is. THAT'S what you wanted to say to her.
"Feeling better now?" You asked Javier as you entered your tent.
"Yes. Thank you." He was just where he left him, lying down on your cot. He saw your face and it reminded him how you acted with him in the latter part of last night. "What's wrong? Is it John?" he rose up so you could sit next to him.
"Oh, Javier. Why do you care for me so much?" growing impatient, and definitely on the verge of tears, at how he's been showering you with attention and care lately, and even now when you just shot his leg.
"You take good care of us, [Y/N]."
"Well, that's my job. You guys earn money out there, shooting and robbing, and the shooting I can't do, as you know well by now. I gotta earn my keep like everybody else." Tears start running down your cheeks as you finished your sentence, although the reason for your crying had really nothing to do with what you just said.
"It's more than that." He remarked, placing his hand on your arm in effort to comfort you. "So uh, are you going to tell me about this thing between you and John, or am I just going to sing the Ring-dang-doo here until you tell me?"
You couldn't help but laugh. With having nowhere to hide now, you proceeded to tell Javier the truth.