20. IMPATIENCE

I awoke with a start to the sun blinding me through a crack in the drawn orange curtains which were made from the same fabric as the bedspread I was sprawled out on. Where was I again? My head throbbed as it asked the rest of me the question. Oh, I remember. I was back in Arizona now, but it certainly didn't feel like home to me anymore. We were in a hotel room. I laid back down against the orange sheets and covered my eyes with the palms of my hands.

That's right, I recalled everything that happened the previous night. Rushing. Speeding down the highway. I remembered the desert sand and all the tumbleweeds and the cactuses going by in a faded green-gold blur, my head spinning so their shadowy outlines looked dark and shiny all at once, too bright one moment and then they were just black sparks sizzling in the heatwave and eating away at all corners of the entire panorama of the Arizona Badlands the next. I remembered the hum of the engine as it raced through the streets at top speed when no one was looking; when there wasn't a cop in sight. And then we checked in to here, my temporary prison cell, when the glow of the moon high in the sky shone on us in sickly yellow beams like tired, jaundiced eyes. I looked to where Archie was sitting at the small dining table by the window, his elbows propped up as he put his clasped hands to his lips, his eyes closed. I was about to say his name, but then I felt a pair of strong, gentle arms tugging my shoulders back just as I started to rise from the bed.

"Not right now, Beau. He needs to concentrate." Jessamine's voice was a soft, mellifluous sound. I heard her let out a near-silent little wisp of a breath and suddenly I wasn't feeling as panicky as I had before. Was this her mood-magic thing Edythe was telling me about earlier? My once-tense shoulders began to relax a little bit, but there was still the faint ache of something bubbling deep inside my chest and I folded my hands tight in my lap.

"Come on, let's get you something to eat. Edythe reminded us that you have to eat a lot more frequently than we do." Jessamine let out a quiet laugh.

"She called?" I asked, eyes wide, hearing my voice rise just a touch.

"No, sorry." Archie turned around just then and my face fell. "She reminded us about twenty times before we left though. She gave lots and lots of instructions." He chuckled quietly.

"What's the latest?" I asked.

"Well, so far Earnest and Royal are back in Forks. The redhead gave up chasing them."

"How's my dad?" It's been hours and I haven't picked up any of his calls.

"Worried sick. He's looking for you everywhere, I think he even went to your school." I'm sorry, Dad. My throat tightened just thinking of him. I let out a shaky breath.

"Don't worry, Beau. Nothing's going to happen to him." Archie's voice was soft, and I tried to believe in his words.

"And Edythe?"

"Immensely frustrated, it looks like. They turned on the tracker, but she was already running. She's headed north and they're chasing her." My heart thumped twice in my chest. I know Edythe was the fastest in her family, but what if something happened to her? Carine? Eleanor? Joss was relentless. I was silent.

"Beau." it was Jessamine. "Come on, eat something." She tugged on my arm a little and sat me down at the table Archie was sitting at, pushing a tray of food - I couldn't tell what any of it was of course, everything was all a blur as the minutes dragged on, plus the room was pretty dark – towards me. I still didn't touch it, my stomach tying itself into knots. This was my fault. All of it.

"Eat up." It was Archie. "Edythe gets very difficult when she thinks her instructions aren't being followed to a T, you know." He picked up what I think was a breadstick and held it out to me. Mindlessly, I took it from him and bit into it. When I finished that off, I grabbed a fork and took a bite of something else - pasta- but I couldn't taste anything. I must've been hungry, since we didn't stop for food on the way here and when there was nothing else left in the bowl, I leaned back in my chair and gnawed at my thumb, my foot tapping away on the dingy multicolored motel carpet.

I felt another cool hand touch my shoulder again. Jessamine.

"Beau, you've nothing to worry about – you are completely safe here."

"I know." I said more to myself than to her. She peered into my face, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Then why are you frightened?" she asked, confusion echoing in her soft voice.

"Because if something goes wrong; if anything happens to Carine, or Eleanor-" I sucked in a sharp, shaking breath, "Or Edythe-" my voice cracked. "What would I do? How would I live with myself if I got any of you killed?"

"Stop that, Beau. Trust me when I say this – our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."

"But why? I don't understand-"

"Listen here, Beau." Archie slid in beside Jessamine and put his arm around her waist. "Edythe has been on her own – with us, but alone – for a century. You know that, right? To have found you-" he sighed, shaking his head. "You haven't been around her like we have; we who have been with her for so long. You don't know how happy you have made her in this life. You haven't seen the changes in her that we do. You think any of us can even look into her eyes if something happened to you? If she lost you?" Archie's voice grew louder; more forceful and I didn't know what to say. He leaned in closer to me.

"Besides- even if it wasn't for Edythe, I would have done it anyways, you know. You see, time passes a little differently for us. This might sound kind of crazy, but I've seen the both of us becoming the best of friends. So, for me it feels like we've been friends for a long, long time already." He showed me a grin. "It was nice of my favorite sister, don't you think, to fall in love with my best friend? I guess I really owe her one."

Even if it was all a lie, I was grateful for it nonetheless. It made me feel better somehow; that it wasn't so bad that Archie wanted to help even if it wasn't just for his sister's sake. I sat back down on the bed.

"So- what do we do now?"

"We wait for something to change." Archie answered me with a nod of his head.

It was a very long day.

I guess Archie talking about our friendship out loud realized it somehow and gave it solid shape, and I found me and him totally in-sync as we held one long, semi-silent conversation to pass the time. He could guess my thoughts; my questions before I even had a chance to ask them out loud. I wondered if that was how it was like for him and Edythe and as soon as I thought to ask that he was already answering me.

"Oh yeah, it is exactly like that." He laughed out loud. "She tries not to be too obnoxious about it though. But in my opinion, she kind of ends up failing royally at that. Now, if you asked her, she'd say that I was the obnoxious one." His lips curved up gently at the edges. "Then there's the instances where we'd start up at the exact same time so the other can't get a word in – mental or verbal – edgewise, and the next thing you know we're totally at each other's throats about it." The way he said it though made it sound like it was actually a positive thing. I couldn't help smiling to myself at how close they seemed to be and instantly, I felt a lot closer to the both of them for it, too. Archie even told me about his past – what little he could remember of it, at least – and about the day he woke up as a vampire; in his new life.

"All I can remember is someone calling me Archie. To this day though, I still can never be sure if that truly was a memory or maybe I just saw that someone would call me Archie one day. It's kind of a circular dilemma, isn't it?" he chuckled, scratching the back of his head then running his hand through his super-short hair, cut nearly to the scalp. I was about to ask him about that but he beat me to it.

"My best guess is disease or bad behavior – you know, prison." He said it almost proudly and all I could do was blink at him.

"Wow, that's intense." I nodded incredulously. Jessamine chuckled behind me and I turned to look at her.

"My dream girl." Archie's eyes softened filling with what could only have been love as he looked at Jessamine.

"Dream girl?"

"Oh yeah. Did you know that I first saw her in a vision 28 years before we even met? She's the closest thing to a dream anything I've had in this life." He wrapped his arms tight around Jessamine's shoulders pulling her close, and she touched the tops of his wrists before weaving her fingers through his. "She was the light I always saw at the end of any tunnel; before I had anyone. She kept me going because I knew every step that I took would bring me closer to her." He kissed her cheek. "Of course, I could have met her earlier – I knew where she was, after all - but she wasn't ready for me yet." I saw Jessamine's eyes flick down to their clasped hands, almost… ashamed? In pain, maybe. Like she was recalling a bad memory. She shook her head. "You're not ready to hear that one, Beau. Trust me." Jessamine looked to me; her lips pressed tight together. I wasn't really one to pry most of the time so I nodded my head quickly, obliging her. They were good together. I was certain of that. And then I was quiet again, just kind of looking around the room; at the peeling white paint on the motel walls while Archie was keeping me up to date on everything going on with the Hunt.

So far, they've followed along a couple of rivers and hiked up Mount Rainier twice on two separate occasions, only to be led back down by the time they hit the top of the peak. They've chased Joss through a good number of Washington's old-growth forests, climbing up then down the trees and back again. They would follow her off the beaten path deeper into the heart of those forests but Joss was always one step ahead of them. There were tricks involved of course, like how she traveled by water whenever she could - scents can't be tracked in the water, apparently - and traps laid out for them throughout. Dead ends, wrong turns. Twists in the story she was writing for them all. Half a dozen times they've chased her out of Forks just for her to come right back around again and then she even took them up north to Vancouver at one point too, only to race off back in the other direction before they could even get close to her. I know I was supposed to be rooting for them to catch her, but in reality, all I could feel was relief the further and further they got away from her; whatever it would take to keep them safe. I leaned myself up against the motel headboard, clasping my hands in my lap. I couldn't concentrate on any one thing and I thought of a question that's been simmering inside my head to keep me busy, distracting myself with it; one I thought to ask on a number of occasions but could never quite bring myself to vocalize out loud. When I think dinnertime rolled around, I had finetuned my question enough that I was starting to feel more confident asking it out loud. I opened my mouth to speak but Archie shot me a look, and then I realized that he already knew what I was going to say but shook his head, choosing to ignore my question instead.

"Was this also on Edythe's list of instructions?" I asked almost impatiently, throwing my hands out to either side of me.

"No, but it was most definitely implied."

"I don't suppose our future friendship is enough to shift your loyalties…?" I waggled my eyebrows.

"Nice try Beau, but Edythe's my sister. Sorry, man."

"Come on, don't you think I deserve to know? Every possibility you've seen… that was one of them, wasn't it? Even if there's only the slightest chance." I said more seriously, leaning forward.

"You do." Was all he answered but didn't say anything else. I continued to bore my eyes into the back of his head - if there was something I was good at, it was being persistent. I could tell I was wearing him down and I finally heard him let out a long sigh, giving in. Score.

"Fine. I guess I can tell you the basic logistics of it. But you should know, I've never done it nor seen it done before so this is nothing more than pure speculation." I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, getting closer to him like we were spies in an action movie about to exchange top-secret information.

"So… how does someone become a vampire?"

Jessamine came to sit down beside me and nodded her head knowingly, beckoning for Archie to continue. He looked from her then to me again, taking a breath.

"Alright, here goes – you see, as predators, we vampires have an arsenal of weapons to help us catch our prey. We are much faster; much stronger. We have these… how should I put it? Heightened senses -" he motioned his hands in a circular motion on top of the table, "that help us to catch our prey. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are also physically attractive to our prey as well." I nodded, remembering Edythe had mentioned something like that what seemed forever ago. Everything about me invites you in. That was no lie. He took a breath before continuing. "We have one more, fairly superfluous little thing," he smiled widely, his white teeth glistening almost wickedly, "we're also venomous. And no, the venom doesn't kill or anything like that, it's merely incapacitating. It immobilizes our prey, stunning them with pain so they can't get away – not that there's even a chance when they're already that close to us unless we wanted them to, of course. It just keeps them there you see, until we finish feeding on them." Archie shifted his jaw.

"I see… so then, if the venom was left to spread though…?" Carine's transformation was instantly brought to mind.

Archie nodded. "Yeah. My guess is that as long as the heart keeps beating and as long as the venom continues to spread inside the victim, it'll heal and change their body as it moves through it. It takes a few days I think, depending on how much venom was in the bloodstream or how close it was injected to the heart – for example, Carine's creator bit her on the hand to make it that much worse for her. Eventually, the heart stops, and the transformation is complete. But all that time, every minute of it, a victim would be wishing for death- screaming for it, actually." Yikes. And they all had to go through it? I shuddered thinking about that. Archie saw.

"It isn't a pleasant experience by any means, no. Not that I really have anything to say about it though – usually, for other people the pain of the transformation is their sharpest memory from their time as human. I'm different. I can honestly say I don't remember it at all whatsoever; not how it felt, nor even who my creator was. I don't know if I ever will to tell you the truth, but I'm okay with that." He nodded easily.

"You know, the way Edythe made it sound I thought it would be a lot more difficult than that, but it seems simple enough." I shrugged. I heard Archie inhale a sharp breath through his teeth and he shook his head, showing me a grim smile.

"No, she's right. Whenever we taste or even smell human blood, it becomes extremely difficult for us to keep from feeding. Our sense of self-control kind of just flies out the window. We're a little like sharks in that way. I mean, to taste the blood would sort of set off this frenzy – once we start, we almost nearly cannot stop. It's difficult on both sides of the coin – the bloodlust for us, the excruciating pain for the one being turned." I shook my head, not wanting to let my mind wander too far down that particular path and I stood up and faced the nightstand, messing with the phone cord. I thought again about Archie's story – I couldn't imagine that, waking up one day and not knowing who you were or what happened to you; how difficult that must have been. He was a strong person, and I don't just mean that literally.

"I don't think of it like that." Archie suddenly started, turning towards me again. "I feel lucky, actually. I don't remember any of the people I left behind, so I got to skip that pain, too. In fact, I guess we all kind of did– well, all of us except Royal, that is. He had a family who loved him, a mom and a dad and two little sisters, people he loved and whom he could never see again. He ended up outliving them all and although he doesn't let it on, the pain of him losing them and of them losing him… it never left him, and it never will. That kind of pain is very, very slow, Beau."

I thought about that for a long minute. If this was Archie's way of telling me to cut the guy some slack, it was most definitely working. Then I thought about what that would mean for Mom and Dad – what if things didn't work out well with Joss? What would happen to them? Who'll take care of them? Or what if, even if I survived as a human, Edythe had wanted me like that for herself too one day? What would I do then? I'd be dead to them, both literally and metaphorically. The thought made my stomach flipflop as a wave of desperation slammed into me, knocking me off my feet. I crumpled into the bed, my fingers gripping tightly to the edge of the mattress to steady myself.

Suddenly, Archie threw his chair out behind him.

"What did you see?" Jessamine said in a voice no louder than a whisper.

"Change of plans. Another decision has been made." His tone was grave. His hands frantically reached out in front of him and he grabbed the pad of paper and a pen which rested on the small dining table and furiously, his left hand started moving so fast over the paper it was nothing but a blur in the dim glow of the motel room lamps. He was staring straight out ahead in front of him and not concentrating at all on what his hands were doing with eyes wide open that seemed to bore straight into the drawn orange curtains. "The tracker… she's taking a plane; she's coming here, to Arizona. Soon. There's a room," he muttered so quickly that I could barely keep up with the words he was saying. "It's a room with mirrors on all sides and a gold band which goes around the whole place."

"Where's the room?" I asked, my voice rising.

"I don't know yet. Another decision has yet to be made."

"You said she's coming soon… but how soon is soon, Archie?"

"I don't know. Today or tomorrow. It just depends. She's waiting… for something? Or someone? No…" Archie's voice trailed off into nothing. My heart started to pound away in my chest.

"What do you mean?" I whispered loudly, panicking, my spine going ramrod straight. Jessamine was at my side again and she was touching a cool hand to the middle of my back. I could feel my shoulders relaxing a little now, but my head still hurt.

"She's in the dark now… I see a TV set running. Something's playing on it, I think it's hooked to an old VCR. But this place is different; not the mirror room. Wait…" his fingers brought themselves to his temples again and he shook his head hard, wincing. His eyes drifted to where Jessamine was standing.

"You don't see anything else anymore." Jessamine nodded her head slowly; solemnly.

"Nope." Before I could even ask what that meant, Archie answered me. "It means that something else has changed. She's made another choice; it'll lead her to both the dark room and the mirror room."

"But we don't know where those rooms are?"

Archie shook his head. "No. All I know is that the tracker won't be in the mountains anymore. She'll elude our family. I'm so sorry." His eyes were downcast. I let out a breath at Archie's words and gnawed at my fingers, trying to calm myself.

Archie picked up the silver cellphone just as it vibrated, dashing it to his ear.

"Carine." He cast a glance at me. "Yes, I've seen her." He described the same vision he saw earlier to Carine like he did for me and Jessamine. "All I know is that whatever made her take the plane was leading her to those rooms." Just then, Archie paused and looked at me again. "Yes, he's right here. Just a sec…" Archie held the phone out for me to take. "It's for you." He whispered and tried to show me a small smile. My eyes widened and I all but snatched it from him.

"Beau?" it was Edythe. My eyes felt hot when I heard her beautiful, familiar voice answer me on the other line. "Oh, Edythe." I breathed, swallowing hard. "Where are you?"

"I'm just outside of Vancouver. I'm so sorry, Beau. We lost her. She's suspicious of us, I know – she's staying just far enough out of range where I can't hear her thoughts anymore. She's gone, I think she took a small plane; perhaps heading back to Washington to start over, I don't know. I'm so sorry." She began to apologize again and again.

"Stop, Edythe. It's not your fault. It's not any of yours. Archie already saw."

"But you don't have to worry, Beau. You've left no trail for her to follow. Listen to me carefully, Beau – all you have to do is just stay with Archie and Jessamine, alright? Until we find her again. Arch will get a lead soon enough."

"Don't worry about me." I smiled for her, even when I knew she couldn't see it. "Is Earnest with Charlie?"

"Yes, both him and Royal. The male's been back in town but Charlie's safe. He hasn't even gone near him. He's digging, sure, but he's coming up with nothing but dead ends, Royal made sure of that. I'll be there soon. If that tracker gets anywhere near Forks, she won't get past us."

"Please be careful. Stay with Carine and Eleanor." I pleaded with her.

"I know what I'm doing, Beau." She said confidently.

"I miss you."

"Oh, Beau. Trust me, I know. But I will make this right first. Wait for me."

"I love you." My voice grew thick as those words left my lips.

"And I love you. I love you so much." It almost sounded like she was crying, too. "I'll be with you again soon. You are my life now, Beau. Never forget that."

And then the line went dead, and I felt like I was drowning again. Jessamine looked up sharply at me though, and that feeling bubbled away to a low simmer. She walked over to Archie, her large golden eyes peering over his shoulder as she pushed her blonde hair out of her face. I came up to them to try and see what they were seeing, taking in the picture Archie had drawn with the hotel stationary.

A wave of realization washed over me as I took in the shape of the room.

"Wait a second," I breathed, shaking Archie's shoulder a little. "I know this place. It's the ballet studio right around the corner from my old house!" I cried out, my eyes widening.

"Are you sure it's the same one?" Archie asked me, raising his eyebrows. I nodded.

"Yeah. My mom taught ballet there for a little while; she even enrolled me in a couple of classes for like two months. I sucked pretty badly at it though, and I begged her to let me drop them. Mom still taught there though, even after I'd given up. Not that she stuck with it much longer than I did." I said quietly, suddenly remembering it all. "I mean, it was shaped just the same." I gestured to where the square section jutted out. "The bathrooms were over there. But the stereo was in a different place, and there wasn't a TV." Of course, I'm sure most ballet studios would look the same, but there was just something about the shape of the long room in the drawing that made me certain I knew the place.

"I see – but would you have any reason to return there now?" Asked Archie.

"No, I don't think so. I mean, I haven't been back there since Mom quit like ten years ago."

"So, there's no connection there, then?"

I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure it's not even owned by the same person anymore, so I guess it probably isn't it." I said, confused. Jessamine turned to look at me.

"You said that the ballet studio was right around the corner from your house, correct?" she asked in her unnaturally calm voice. I nodded my head. "So, it's here in Phoenix, then?" she pushed, biting her lip.

"Yes. 58th and Cactus." My voice grew quieter and quieter until there was no sound. My heart started pounding again.

"Archie, is that phone safe?" I suddenly motioned towards the silver cell.

"It just traces back to Washington." He answered, handing it to me. "Why do you need it for?"

"My mom. She's in Florida now, but she might be coming home soon." I answered quickly and started dialing her number, silently praying I'd get it right even with how shaky my finger was being typing it in. "She can't go back to the house, not while… while…" My voice broke and I couldn't finish my sentence. If the tracker could find my address; can search through my records…

"Don't say where you are." Archie suddenly cautioned, looking at me. I nodded quickly. I waited through the four rings to leave a message after hearing my mom's breezy voice coming in on the answering machine.

"Mom?" I started after the beep, "it's me. Listen. I need you to do something, it's important. As soon as you get this, call me at this number-" with that, I repeated the number Archie pointed out to me on a yellow sticky note twice, trying to make my voice come out as clear as possible. "Please don't go anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay. Honest. But I need to talk to you right away no matter how late you get this call, alright? I love you, Mom. Bye." I squeezed my eyes shut as I hung up, praying that nothing would bring her home until she got my message. I thought about calling my dad, but I didn't know what I could say to him after the stunt I pulled and I just prayed for him to be safe. Swallowing, I leaned back up against the headboard of the motel bed and flipped through all the news channels, watching out for anything that could bring Mom and Phil home early. My fingernails were nothing more than stubs by the time the morning news rolled around again, I'd been up all night. I stared at the blank walls then the dingy carpets and then in all four corners of the dark room, chasing shadows around that loomed overhead and fighting the urge to punch holes in the walls. Archie and Jessamine on the other hand didn't seem to have the same sort of urges as me – I guess immortality also granted them endless patience. They sat silently, staring at the peeling paint which crept up towards the ceiling in thin, pulsing black lines.

I fell asleep, waiting for the phone to ring.