And here we are again.
I know that there aren't that many people reading this, but to those of you that are, hello!
Btw, if you want to know what the characters look like (including future Dib and Zim), I've posted my drawings for this AU on Instagram and Twitter. I've also done a few animations. If you want to see them, I tagged them with #IZZeeAU on Instagram.
XXX
Zee had been going to school for about three weeks, and so far, he found it pleasant enough. He didn't understand much of what was going on in the majority of his classes, but he enjoyed learning new things. His Earth science class, biology, was particularly interesting. It was all so different than what Bee had taught him over the years. Of course, different planets had different life forms, so that was to be expected, but he'd never had the ability to get such an in-depth explanation of life on alien planets.
At the moment, he was sitting at a lunch table and munching on the food he stuck into his lunchbox that morning, thinking about the lesson he'd had before lunch. Apparently, Earth was split into multiple 'countries' that had different leaders. And their leaders were chosen in a variety of ways, not just by who was tallest. He had, over the years, seen that most planets were like that. According to Bee, the whole planet of Irk and all of its territories were ruled by the Tallest who were, well, tall. No other qualifications needed. Similar to some Earth governments, though, the Tallest were primarily figureheads, like the queen in some place called 'England'. The Control Brains actually ran most of the really important things.
That class made him think. He hadn't learned much about Irk from his own observation, having had only a brief look outside of the lab he was made in. Most of what he knew was what Bee taught him. But he wondered. Had Irk once been like Earth, split into many regions? Were there different governments with leaders chosen in ways that made more sense than height? How was an empire whose leaders were chosen based on an arbitrary trait able to conquer an entire planet and multiple solar systems? Would they always be in control?
And, in the back of his mind, he wondered if Earth really was far away enough from the Irken Empire.
"Hey, Robot, did you forget to drink your oil today?" joked a classmate.
Said classmate pushed on his back roughly, taking Zee out of his thoughts.
"Humans don't drink oil," he replied, mildly confused. "Certain types are used in cooking, but they aren't a beverage."
The classmate rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, might wanna get those loose screws checked out," the classmate told him, walking away.
Zee wasn't sure what to make of his classmates. Most of them seemed to be either mildly benevolent or apathetic toward him, but a few acted maliciously. A group of them kept calling him a robot and insinuating that he wasn't a living creature, which he didn't understand. At most, he would be called a cyborg due to his pak, but as far as his classmates knew, he was entirely human. And most humans weren't even cyborgs, let alone robots. They were made of biological material, not metal. So, the notion that he was a robot was ridiculous. Even still, he was wary around those classmates, not wanting their false accusation to lead them to discover that he was from another planet.
XXX
Dib rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. He had been inputting grades for his classes' recent tests, and paused when he got to Zee's. He was glad that Zee seemed to have a good understanding of the material. It hadn't taken much for him to be on the same page as the class, and he'd gotten an 81% on this exam. He'd actually gotten all of the straight-math questions correct, but he'd completely missed all but one of the word problems. Of these, he'd attempted a few, left two blank, and on one, he just wrote 'I don't know what a watermelon is.' Even ignoring the watermelon thing, Zee clearly knew the math but didn't know how to solve word problems. And yeah, a lot of students have trouble with word problems, but they have to learn eventually because that was more of the real-world application of what they were learning. Usually they would get something right on the word problems if they knew the math, though.
On top of that, Dib had glanced at Zee's other grades, and, to put it bluntly, they were pretty awful. He currently had a B in calculus, which was his best grade. He had a C- in biology, and a D in world history, as well as in English. He was failing home economics and gym, with a note from the gym teacher about Zee getting into a fight with some other students. His art teacher hadn't input any grades yet. He wasn't even sure how Zee could be failing home economics because he knew that teacher let just about anyone pass. But Dib didn't know what, if anything, he should do about it. Zee, apart from the word problems, was doing well enough in his own class, and he couldn't (or, shouldn't) help him with his other classes. Really, his other teachers were the ones who had to do something about it. But would they? He knew his coworkers well enough to assume that Zee's history teacher, at least, wasn't the most helpful instructor.
Dib sighed. Maybe he should send an email to his guardian? But he couldn't overstep like that, and the other teachers, at least the ones who gave the tiniest damn, might have already done so. Well, he should probably offer to help Zee with the word problems. He could bring the grades up then and go from there.
With that decision made, Dib returned to inputting grades.
XXX
During homeroom, Mr. Membrane asked him if they could have a talk, and when Zee agreed, he asked him to stop by during his lunch/study hall hour.
When Zee returned to the room at the time specified, he saw Mr. Membrane sitting at his desk and eating something out of a plastic container.
"Ah, hello, Zee," Mr. Membrane greeted him. "I was just finishing up my lunch. Uh, you can eat in here if you haven't yet."
"I ate in the cafeteria."
"Oh. Okay. Well, have a seat, then."
Zee sat down in the chair Mr. Membrane gestured at, which had been moved so it was right next to the teacher's desk. Then, he waited for the man to speak.
"So, I noticed that you have some trouble with word problems," Mr. Membrane stated. "And, well, I also noticed that you've been having some trouble with your other classes. I thought I could help with the word problems, at least? And maybe the other stuff if I can?"
Zee tilted his head slightly.
"Hm."
"Uh, is that a yes or a no?"
"Yes. I don't understand the word problems."
"Okay, great!" exclaimed Mr. Membrane. "So, why don't we take a look at the word problems from the last test?"
"Hm."
XXX
Dib took out Zee's test and began trying to explain the watermelon question. He, however, quickly hit a wall when Zee got stuck on the watermelon issue again.
"I don't know what a watermelon is."
Who doesn't know what a watermelon is?
"You don't need to know what a watermelon is to answer the question. You just need to know the mass, which is in the question."
"But how can I answer a question about it when I don't know what it is?"
"The watermelon part isn't important. You just need the 10 kilograms part. It doesn't even have to be a watermelon, it can be an orange or any other fruit," Dib explained.
"But orange is a color."
"No- No, it's…," Dib sputtered in shock. "It's also a fruit. The color is actually named after the fruit."
"Oh," Zee responded. "Well, I don't know what an orange is, either. I know orange juice."
Dib was already growing frustrated with the student, and he was starting to understand why Zee was doing so badly in his classes. Part of him thought that Zee was just trying to mess with him, but the sincere way he replied and the mild frustration in his own tone suggested that Zee really just didn't understand. So, Dib reigned in his own frustration to try to help.
"... Okay, do you know what an apple is?"
"Yes."
"Okay. So, if an apple is 10 kg…"
"But apples are usually about 0.1 kilograms."
Dib couldn't stop himself from letting out an annoyed sigh. This kid knew the approximate mass of the average apple, but apparently didn't know what either a watermelon or an orange were, and apparently didn't understand the concept of an example.
"Zee, you're missing the point. You need the number. The fruit doesn't matter."
"Then why is there fruit in the question?"
"It's an example to make you think of real-world applications, but it doesn't have to be realistic."
Zee gave him a strange look, his face shifting from the blankness it usually showed.
"But what's the point then?"
"To learn the math."
Zee gave him a look that told him he still didn't get it.
"Let's try this, then," Dib told him, taking out a piece of notebook paper.
He quickly rewrote the problem as just the math, removing most of the words.
"Try to solve this one."
"Okay."
And a few minutes later, Zee handed him a correctly-solved problem.
"See, this question is the same as the watermelon question. I just wrote it differently," said Dib.
Zee looked at him skeptically, and Dib decided to move on for now.
"Let's look at this problem," Dib continued. "You tried to solve this one, yeah?"
"Hm."
"So, do you know why you couldn't finish it?"
"I don't know what a train is."
And it was, apparently, the same issue.
"Zee… I don't mean this in a mean way or anything…," Dib began. "But is English your first language?"
Zee didn't have a strongly discernible accent, and his grammar seemed fine, if a little over-formal at times, but his vocabulary suggested that he hadn't grown up hearing these words.
"First language?"
"Like, did you speak another language before learning English?"
"Oh. Yeah."
Well, that made some sense. And it would explain his trouble in his other classes.
"It might be a good idea for you to take some supplementary English classes, then," Dib suggested. "Just to learn more vocabulary. Maybe you can ask your guardian about it?"
"Why?"
"Well, it would help a lot in your other classes. Like history."
"What does English have to do with history?"
And there was that strange type of misunderstanding that reminded Dib of his roommate. He, however, quickly dismissed the thought because the situation was completely different.
It must just be because he was homeschooled, right?
XXX
Zee was a bit frustrated with his calculus teacher, who kept saying things that didn't make a lot of sense. Whenever Bee taught him something, it had a point and it made sense. Math was math, history was history. And she didn't try to make him solve these strange problems about fruit. How was this actually going to be useful in life? Useful math helped navigate the universe and build devices. Fruit, as long as it was edible, just had to be eaten (though, Irkens didn't eat much fresh fruit, anyway). And it wasn't his fault that his translator couldn't translate words that didn't have an Irken equivalent.
"So, do you like going to public school?" Mr. Membrane asked after they went through the word problems. "It's pretty different than being homeschooled, yeah?"
"It's fine," Zee answered. "I like biology."
"Really? That's great," the teacher replied. "Have you made any friends yet?"
"Hm."
Mr. Membrane gave him a look.
"Well, maybe you could check out some clubs?"
"Hm."
"Uh… right. Well, it's almost time for your next class, so I guess we should wrap up," said the man. "Tell me if you need any help with classwork, okay? That's kinda my job, ya know?"
"Okay."
XXX
And here's chapter 2. I wanted to address the fact that, as an alien, Zee wouldn't know what certain things are because they don't exist outside of Earth. And in the series, Zim takes things literally or misunderstands them a lot, so I included that. I also sort-of combined it with the way I tend to take examples literally, and ended up with this whole scene, which ended up going on longer than I expected it to.
Who do you think Dib's roommate is? ;3