Chapter 19: Your and Javier's Secret
The journey from Six Point Cabin to the Van der Linde's new hideout was a long one. John told you that the gang left Horseshoe Overlook and moved further down south to a place called Clemens Point in Scarlett Meadows, as he recounted the events of your encounter with Leviticus Cornwall. He said you'd like it there, it was warm, and it was by the lake (though he isn't a big fan of lakes and other bodies of water).
Unfortunately, as your new home was farther than it's ever been, you realised you were not physically nor mentally prepared for the journey. When Arthur who was riding behind you and John, caught you struggling to keep awake on the road, slowly slipping side to side, with your arms slipping away from John's waist, he suggested that you set up camp for the night and continue on your way home at first light tomorrow. The others agreed, seeing the exhausted state you were in. John and Javier were in bad need of some rest too after days of riding in search of you and with only a few hours of sleep, and poor Kieran would very much appreciate being able to sleep in a horizontal position again after being tied to a tree for weeks.
The group found a good spot to set up camp far away enough from Valentine where John and Arthur were still wanted, and should there be any trouble, either in the two-legged or four-legged form, John, Javier, and Arthur could easily fight them off.
Javier headed out to catch some rabbits for dinner, while Arthur watched over Kieran, who was starting a fire. John offered to set his tent up and bedroll for you, to which you shamelessly crawled into. The bedroll wasn't the comfiest, but it was the comfiest you've lied on since you were taken to. You easily dozed off while the men stirred outside, indulging in idle chit-chat as they rested by the fire. Their voices fading away as you drifted off.
It wasn't long before Javier came back with a skinned rabbit in each hand, and when you were just starting to dream, you've woken up to John's gentle insistence that you eat something. You protested for a bit with the desire to sleep some more, but the grumbling in your stomach was telling you that you should do as John says.
"Good morning, Princess." Arthur's drawl was the first thing to greet you as you crawled out of John's tent.
"Good evening, Arthur." You politely greeted back, taking a seat on the space next to John, which he seemed to have reserved just for you.
Thinking about it, so much has happened in the last few days, and it felt weird where things were left off between the two of you – that kiss, the way he asked you to wait for him back in Valentine, how the squeeze of his hand felt around yours, and when he promised you'll talk some more after, just the two of you; and all of these things taken into consideration, while he's just there next to you.
Your relationship with John had been a plethora of emotions and confusion, at least on your part, that you know. Now you're seated next to him just a few inches away. Your mind spun into the things that could be possibly running in his. He was, at times indifferent to you - when he went on ranting about Abigail and women to Javier, in front of you as if you didn't even exist, and at the same time, he's here - with you, probably riding for days to look for you. He'd go on about just being cold towards you and not talking to you for days. Then he'd make out with you in the most clandestine ways. You thought about the numerous times your heart got broken whenever you see him and Abigail together, at least on those instances when they are not fighting anyway. Even seeing little Jack, was a painful reminder to you that Abigail and him, as much as John denied the boy wasn't his, shared something quite special a long time ago, even before you joined the gang. They may not look like it now with all their arguing and shouting at each other, but somewhere deep down, you knew John still cared for Abigail and Jack.
"Here." You felt John's elbow on your side. He held out his hunting knife with a piece of cooked rabbit meat stuck to the end of it. It was bland, as expected, but you devoured it up in seconds, realising you haven't had a proper meal in days.
"How 'ya feeling?" Arthur asked.
"I'm fine. Thank you. Thank you… all of you for saving me." You said to them. You owe your life to them, and if they hadn't shown up when they did, who knows what the O'Driscolls have done to you by now. You shuddered at the thought.
"No trouble. You saved us a bunch of times. It's the least we could do." John cheered you up.
"How about we celebrate a little, huh?" Javier eagerly suggested, holding out a bottle of whiskey in his hand. A puzzled look on your face wondering if he was carrying that all this time. Javier casually explained that he was able to nick a few bottles from the O'Driscoll's hideout. The others chuckled, impressed with Javier's quick thinking.
There was one then two bottles passed around, and your male companions grew louder as the night grew darker, except for Kieran though who politely declined each time the bottle was passed to him. You took a more casual pace though, just taking a swig or two out of courtesy, but not enough to make you drunk or intoxicated.
You sat there with them, listening to their stories, from how Colm O'Driscoll and Dutch used to get along and how's it like in Mexico, as far as Javier remembered anyway at least, and how he met Dutch while attempting to steal chickens. You were contented and at home (figuratively) surrounded by the people you've grown to love and truly care for. Other than your dad, you had no one else, and your mom died when you were young.
John sensed you shiver as the cold wind blew. He took off his coat and wrapped it around you. You felt your face blush at his sweet gesture.
"So, what's the deal with you two?" Arthur blurted out; his drawl slurred. It was a question he's been itching to ask since he saw you two kissing at the back of that barn in Valentine. Your heart skipped a beat at his sudden candour. Javier's laughter trailed off, and he pricked his ears up, anxious to hear the answer.
"It ain't any of your business, Arthur." John gently brushed him off. It didn't feel right to put you in that position the way he did. You lowered your head, avoiding Arthur's suspicious gaze at all cost.
"You know I have a funny story. This girl -" Javier drunkenly chimed in. "So, I met this girl about a year ago."
You were holding your breath, your heart raced, anticipating what Javier has to say next.
"She was nice, kept to herself mostly. You'd think she was aloof, but if you take the time to get to know her, she was kind. She'll take good care of you. We got close." The Mexican shrugged his shoulders. He was holding on to the bottle, dangerously swaying it in front of him as we went on his story.
'Please, Javier stop.' You silently begged him to stop. 'Not now. Not ever.' Scrunching up your eyes as if something were about to hit you hard.
"So, one night, we were drinking… boy, she had a few too many drinks! She was upset. She just lost her father and her home."
John and Arthur darted their eyes in your direction. You could just really walk out now or tell Javier to stop, but you just sat there frozen. Javier caught you quite unexpectedly.
"And then, one thing led to another. We ended up having sex!" Javier laughed as he recounted his first and last tryst with you.
"I didn't know it was her first time, I panicked obviously, cos... she was still virgin, and the next day, it got awkward between us, but you know, we moved on, and we're still good friends to this day. I liked her. Sadly, I don't think it's ever going to work out between us."
"Why is that?" Kieran piped in, very much intrigued but utterly clueless about the context of Javier's revelation that evening.
"Why!? Because she's madly in love with this prick, who happens to be a coward." He exclaimed, looking at John straight in the face.
"What the hell did you say?" John shot up from his seat, ready to grab and beat Javier.
"What I'm saying, amigo, is that you ain't her first. I was." He sniggered, holding his thumb up to his chest, feeling proud of himself. He may be quite so amused with himself but the others, were not, especially you. You were fuming.
He was so amused with himself; he didn't notice you rise from your seat and walk towards him until he felt your hand landing on his cheek, the impact was so intense you swore it just instantly sobered him up.